A friend of mine was anticipating her thesis defense as she had not received the exact date until today. Her thesis was due last month and she knew that the defense would take place in the second half of September. As the schedule was being made up only days in advance, she had to be on alert. On Tuesday, she was told to be prepared for either tomorrow or next Monday.
This morning, she was invited to come in tomorrow afternoon.
When reporting the news, her nervousness was as powerful as her excitement. These were the exact words she used to describe the situation. Then, she received another phone call and was told to come in on Monday after all.
I asked her if she preferred Friday or Monday for her defense. She said that she just wants to get it over with.
She wasn’t feeling butterflies in her stomach because she was happy. She felt them because she was nervous about how things would unfold which led to them prolonging. I thought this was an amazing example of her feelings creating her reality.
In my teens, I would experience varied feelings at the end of every school year. Some years, all I could think about was how amazing my summer vacation would be. I thought about going to the beach with my best friend, my Mom’s birthday dinner, waking up feeling happy and free every single morning, riding my bicycle all day long, rollerblading with my girlfriends… Focusing on these things made the end of my school year, usually filled with work, exams and other annoyances, effortless. I hadn’t even noticed it go by when my summer finally started. Miraculously, my exams flew by, resulting in better grades than expected. Other years, I allowed myself to feel miserable over the difficult end of the school year filled with exams and cranky professors I didn’t respect. I worried about things like that when I had no plans for the summer and I expected to be bored for three months when I knew I deserved better. Needless to say, I got exactly what I’d been expecting.
I told my friend to focus on how happy she would be after she’s free from her thesis – as if it was all over now. I told her she needed to focus on how happy freedom will make her, as if she had it now. If she managed to do that, her thesis defense would run so smoothly, she would feel as if a miracle happened. Until today, her incessant pushing for “getting it over with” led to her thesis defense being seemingly impossible to finish.
When she becomes happy and excited about what comes after her thesis defense, she will be able to flow through it.
She has decided to change her focus and I am excited to see how everything goes.
Whatever you fear, look forward to the benefits it will bring you. Only focus on the benefits. Allow the feeling of being happy all the time to become natural to you; and then, be happy about what you desire. Once you are able to sink into that happiness, it will override everything else.