A Personal Approach in Getting an Ex Back

This morning, I was asked what I would do in case of wanting to reconcile with an ex boyfriend. The person who asked the question specifically asked me what I would do if it were my life. I felt very flattered that they valued my potential to inspire them and I was challenged in a positive way, as reconciling with exes was a business I never really wanted to be in.

To be perfectly honest, I only wished to reconcile with an ex once in my life (only because I wasn’t interested in anyone else at the time, until meeting someone new a month later). This story had become my template for breakups, whether they were made official by myself or by the other side. I just believe that every end always means there’s someone better out there and I found them every time because I was open to meeting them. I truly believed that every breakup happened to me for a reason but in reality, this was just a mask for the notion that I never cared about anyone that much. Most of my exes were momentary fascinations I had consciously manifested short-term relationships with.

I decided to look at it from the end result – a basic LoA technique, looking at the world from the point of desire already manifested. I got an ex back – what does that make me? What do I look like? How happy am I? How do I feel? How has accomplishing this made me feel?

What I could automatically see was looking and feeling like a movie star. If getting an ex back is such a difficult task to accomplish, according to many, then why not feel better than ever and make it happen easily? Seeing myself as someone who had just done this, I felt invincible. I felt like a goddess. I felt so good in this imagined scenario that I immediately visualized mutual friends inquiring about the news, everyone asking how it happened and being so surprised, as if the world had transformed around all of them.

Soon, I dove into a spontaneous visualization of the flow of events. I listened to my heart and mind, believing that all the steps taken towards accomplishing this goal had truly come from the essential parts of my personality.

So, what specific steps did I take?

1. Meditation.

I believe in meditation, I love it and no matter how much I practice it, I always want more. In this scenario, I could see meditation helping me make peace with the mistakes coming from both parties that ultimately lead to a breakup (and keep in mind, it is never only one side’s fault). I already believe that continuous feelings of anger towards an ex pose a question of whether or not one really wants them back. How is it possible to love someone who does nothing but cause annoyance? Then, I remembered. When people seem to push our buttons, this is still a question of our peace, our happiness and our stability while they were just the utility that brought those aspects to our attention. If someone pushes my buttons, it means they have touched an unsettled aspect of my mind, heart and soul, leaving it up to myself to fix if I want to improve myself and my life. A scattered mind, which can happen after a breakup, cannot be of benefit in getting an ex back. In this case, meditation is a personally recommended way to focus on the love for two phenomena – oneself and the Universe.

Developing the feelings of trust in our abilities, trust in the Universe, trust in our powers and trust in our thoughts allows us to feel love for the infinite possibilities we can create in our lives.

2. Never surrender to loss.

Feelings of loss create more of the same, just like any feelings. We are all connected to each other, especially those we choose to gift our thoughts and feelings to.

However, I understand that the words your ex has uttered to you may have been hurtful and therefore, caused you to feel that you may have lost them.

You may be offended at your ex thinking or once saying that the breakup was your fault. Don’t be because simply by knowing that it is never only one person’s fault, you are already ahead of most people when it comes to understanding relationships. Their insecurities prevent them from admitting they have done something wrong but that’s their problem to deal with. By focusing on their thoughts, you are deflecting your focus from examining yourself while most likely fearing what you might find. Change this pattern of behavior today – we change our lives and the lives of others with love, not mind control.

All the while, you are forgetting that what we give is what we get. When your ex told you that it was your fault, they have projected the energy onto themselves of things gone wrong being their fault. This doesn’t necessarily refer to relationships alone; it usually means your ex already blames himself (or herself) for many things gone wrong in their lives. Everything is connected and issues translate from one aspect to another.

3. Locate your personal values. 

What are your main values in life?

To those who have adopted novelty as being one, wait for your ex to start feeling new to you. In this case, the period of communication cut off after a breakup will be both a blessing to you as well as your most reliable tool. After taking some time in absence from your ex’s life, they will feel new to you while at the same time, your absence will make you missed in their lives.

Novelty can also be translated to yourself. Do you wish to be a new and improved version of yourself the second time around? Are you doing it only because you feel your ex will like it or do you truly want to improve for you? If it’s for you, as it should be, become that person now. Since this new person is the one both you and your chosen person love, you can see how looking back from the end result will ensure that the new you receives the love you want.

If having security is something you seek and value, embrace your love for it and create security within yourself. Make your home your haven. Place all the security you want to feel in it – your home is a sacred place with nothing but happiness in it. Turn your home into your perfect world of love in which there is only happiness and the reminder of how much you love the world. You have been blessed with such a wonderful home and you feel immense gratitude for it every single day.

I cannot stress the value of the perfect home too much, especially to those who see it as an extension of themselves. Everyone wants the perfect home and a mission to create one will lift your energy more than you can imagine. To those valuing security, a home you need only yourself in is going to take you straight to heaven. Over the years, I advised even the most couple-oriented people to start enjoying their own company in their home and sooner than I thought, they started to cherish it so much that even I was baffled. This comes naturally to all of us. You could be next.

When locating our personal values, we are able to express them on our own, without anyone’s help. Then, not only do we feel complete but others are lining up hoping to be the ones to complete us.

4. Be aware that everyone is equally valuable. 

You may be idealizing your ex right now, thinking he or she is better than anyone else in the world. However, nobody is. The only measure we have to go by is being drawn to and by love. We are drawn to those who emit love and happiness and we draw specific individuals to ourselves by feeling love for them. This is why it’s difficult to attract an ex one still holds a grudge toward.

The men I drew into my life rapidly were those I thought to be amazing. Not better but amazing! I was attracted to their minds, hearts, points of view, sense of humor and charisma. I was drawn to the “it” factors they possessed which made them different from others. The factor of amazing was caused by the love I felt for the individuals they chose to be instead of things such as personal validation factor, their social status or their level of financial wealth.

But what makes a person amazing?

That is different from one case to another.

What drew you to your ex in the beginning? Was it their kindness? Was it the attention they were giving you? Was it their ability to speak their mind, their confidence or how much they cared about you?

Was it the surprises they were throwing you?

Was it excitement?

Surrendering to those feelings will automatically make you remember what kind of person you were when you started your relationship. If you wish to create this exact reality again, you have it easy! You already have everything you need to focus on, fill with love and see everything unfold.

However, if you only wish to use these feelings and memories as a starting point, you may. Just remember that being allowed into one’s heart and soul will show you they are a complex person who wants love, just like everyone else. Everything you are feeling, they feel, too. We have all been hurt at one time or another therefore your ex isn’t superhuman by any means. Relax about them as much as you are relaxed about everyone else. You can attract them back just as easily.

5. Feel love for the millions of options you are offered in life, whether or not you wish to take them. 

Here’s a little abundance mindset exercise I created.

Take three of your exes or those that meant a lot to you. With each, remember the time you felt the happiest. With one at a time, remember this feeling and you will notice that you have relaxed automatically. Reliving these experiences brings you great happiness.

Now, imagine all three of these situations happening on the same day! You probably can’t without feeling a little suffocation for all these people coming at you all at once. You wouldn’t have time to deal with all of them; you would, however, think they were lovely and caring which would only prompt an even greater snowball of love and attention from them. This shows you how much we actually receive when someone gives us their feelings and just by changing your mindset and sending feelings of love towards the ex you want to see return, you will change the energy between you and open the path for the two of you to come together once again.

We communicate with each other through our feelings, whether or not we utter actual words to each other or see each other face to face. Communicate to the Universe that you are grateful. Once you realize there are many things in the world that could make you happy right now, you will release the attachment from what you now see as the ultimate and only happiness.

6. “I always receive even more than I asked for. Thank you.”

When I realized that feeling massive amounts of love for something or someone combined with relaxation, detachment and trust brings even greater results than I ever imagined, I turned this into my own personal mantra. Just thinking of it makes me smile and whether or not it was consciously manifested, this happened to me more times than I can count. I would definitely use this in getting an ex back, as I would remember that sending such a significant amount of love towards anyone and anything ensures magic happening all around.

Right now, you may want an ex back and in love with you. But what if he also asked you to marry him? What if she told you she loved you and wanted to live with you?

You may want your ex to be completely devoted to you, in love like never before. Anything can happen when you trust – what you wanted plus some amazing surprises.

7. Beware of the reality created. 

Every aspect of our reality is something we have created ourselves. When it comes to manifesting exes back, fears may come up. The only thing you must remember is that any kind of fear equals creation.

If you fear that your ex can’t love you back, you are creating that reality. If you fear other suitors coming their way, that’s also something you might be creating. You have to trust the Universe and know that your dream goal is yours already. If I should manifest an ex back, I would only accept the option of us being madly in love and only wanting to be with each other. I would think of us as soul mates, caught up in this amazing love we never want to let go of.

When one’s heart opens, they don’t even think about how things will manifest. All they see is how happy living their dream makes them. And since feelings of love create so much faster and more powerfully than any other, this dream comes to life.

I truly hope that those of you who wish to manifest getting back together with an ex will find inspiration here.

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367 thoughts on “A Personal Approach in Getting an Ex Back

  1. Hi jeanie,

    Thank u… , my ex had also blocked me from every social netwrk services.. dat time ws wonderful coz at dat time u can concentrate on ur own feelings… u can create ur own reality.. by writing.. by imagination..

    I used to read nina’s page wenever i feel negative.. i used to write affirmations like.. i m lucky to have luv of my life with me. He is very caring .

    He loves me.. he is eager to meet me… n everything.. like buying gifts..for him.. i do. I used to write him a letters .. n i have given him all d gifts i have purchased for him n letters to .. now i m waiting for my father to give consent on our relation.. n m sure he will also agree.

    Wenever u ask anything with universe u have to be happy n calm.. n u have to trust on urself dat u will get watever u want.
    Luv n light 2 u…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the response Kshama 🙂 I really needed to hear that 🙂 it gives me hope that everything will be okay. I believe that a lot of us find ourselves stuck because we pay a lot of attention onto our current reality forgetting to receive what we asked for. Nina is always emphasising on this. All the best with your rekindled love. So happy for you. Love is a beautiful feeling 🙂

      Lots of love and grattitude

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi jeanie..

    Jst keep gud feelings…. rewrite the positive affirmations… n most imp have trust.
    See i dnt say… i have not got d negative feelings i too get… i cried a lot.. but d main thing.. i come to know is dat ask d universe wat u want… n den apart seeing d reality jst go out n be happy from inside… do wat u want to do.. do wat makes u happy from inside.. write d affirmations like “he is missing u” ,n jst be happy from inside. Luv urself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi nina

    Need ur help…i want 2 do an immidiate manifestation regarding my fathers agreement on our marriage wat should i add on , on my process …. lightline.. nina… any 1 who can help me.

    Like

    1. I would have – visualized my marriage and my father smiling ear to ear while we are toching his feet, I am telling my babe how happy my father is.

      I would start shopping for my wedding- why? because of course it’s around the corner.

      While you plan to do but your feelings are of fear – see if you are fearful of this wedding for some reason? may be ur future? may be your boy? May be what it feels like getting married? etc etc. The moment you will finish answering all your fears – you will start hearing wedding bells.

      Love and Light

      Like

    2. Just imagine it like you did your relationship – focus on what you WANT your life to look like. How will you feel once your father approves? Imagine having that now 😀 And express gratitude that you got the approval xx

      Like

  4. Hi ladies, would like to give you an update on my situation;

    Like many of you, I found this blog in an attempt to manifest my ex back. I read everything and followed Nina’s great advice and really started to feel better. But, I realized I would always fall back into the trap of pining for and desperately wanted my ex back. I was fed up with myself and so tired of being sad and doing affirmations and heart energy JUST to get someone back who did not want me.

    So what did I do? I let go. I let go like every LOA blog will tell you. I stopped pining for my ex and started dating someone new. At first, it was hard, as I missed my ex and the new man felt foreign to me. Then one night, after an amazing date, something snapped and suddenly I wasn’t pining for my ex anymore.

    During my darkest times, I prayed and asked the Lord to bring me happiness and love; I asked for my ex back but if that wasn’t meant to be, bring me someone better. And that’s what happened.

    I know many of you probably don’t want to hear this, as you want your ex back. And I totally understand and know exactly that emptiness you feel. But in order for the LOA to work, you need to let go and truly be happy and grateful now. That’s what I did and I am so grateful for our breakup. That sounds strange but if we had never broken up, I would have never found this new man. I once thought my ex was my soulmate and now I literally laugh at that thought. The LOA worked exactly as it should; as soon as I let go, as soon as I decided to take control of my life and make myself happy by going out with friends, working out, trying new things and dating, everything fell into place.

    I hope this will help some of you. Love and light! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is beautiful AA. I’m so excited for you. Everything happened as it should for you. It’s an awesome reminder of the importance of letting go. Something that often times feels impossible. But it isn’t. And the relief that comes with it is so amazing.

      Wishing you the best and keep us posted as things progress!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you JCE! Things are progressing so amazingly..it almost feels like a dream.

        We have been dating for 5 months now and I’ve been having such a strong urge to tell him I love him. In my past relationships, the guys always told me first. I love him and wanted to express it, but was overthinking and too scared. So, what did I do? I used LOA!

        I asked the God/the Universe “I want XX to tell me he loves me first.” We were attending a wedding together, so then I asked, “I want XX to tell me he loves me tonight at the wedding.” And that’s EXACTLY what happened. I wouldn’t have believed it if it didn’t happen to me. Not only did the Universe bring me exactly what I asked for, it gave it to me in the most magical, romantic way. I’m still on cloud nine.

        The LOA is all about happiness and love, all things you can find within yourself, not just with other people.

        Wishing you all the best ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I am also in a bargaining stagr of wanting my ex back. He dumped me because it was actually my fault. My guilt is eating me alive and I want to patch things up but we know when people reject you and you cannot do anything about it, it is a recipe for self-disaster.

    I want to let go as well. It is hard but I am trying this method and with a heavy heart, I accept he will not come back but still try to resonate that energy that will make him forgive and choose me again.

    Like

  6. Wow this is so timely. My ex left me several months ago and blocked me on social media as well. But I recently found out he is with someone else now. I am not one of those women who will compete and chase. I used to chase when I was younger. However I take responsibility for causing the break up because there were some insecurities that came into play. I did a pros and cons about him and the pros outweigh the cons. I have had at least one man give me his number since the break up, but I wasn’t interested. I felt like there was a real connection between my him and I. It was four blissful months. So now I am focusing on me. I’ve been diligently looking for a job, studying the law of attraction, and engaging in my spiritual development. Thank you for this wonderful blog. Any tips?

    Like

  7. Hi Nerdygirl

    I have been doing the same things as you – looking for job engaging in spiritual development and trust me it works. I would say – just continue doing focusing on your own well being and detach yourself from the current situation and anything related to him. Of course do send heart energy/loving thoughts.

    Like

  8. Hi Nina,

    My ex broke up with me 6 months because he said he doesn’t want a girlfriend and he doesn’t want to get married. I accepted this and understand where he is coming from. The breakup was amicable and there was no hate or blaming the other person. We have ran into each other a lot of times since the breakup and we would talk and flir with each other, and it’s obvious that we still have feelings for each other. We have a huge amount for respect and appreciation for each other so I don’t think there is an issue there. I’m attracting him back, but not a relationship.

    I know we’re gonna get back together, I feel it in my gut and heart. I don’t need signs that it’s going to happen,but every time we run into each other and have that “I don’t want to have a girlfriend and I don’t want to get married” conversation, I’m wondering how can I shift and if it’s possible. How can I shift this especially when you’re dealing with another person’s free will?

    Thanks!
    KN

    Like

    1. Hello! I see that you believe for the most part but when it comes to belief that you two want the same things, all you have to do is imagine that you both want the same things and believe that it’s going to happen. Don’t worry about how he will come around – the “how” is the only part we must ignore but if you believe and love yourself and him, his feelings will change because he will respond to your loving energy. People respond to each other’s energy, even when unaware of it!

      Like

      1. Thanks Nina!

        I know the how is not our job, it’s the Universe’s job, but how does it work when he’s so stubborn. I know that he feels the same way, misses me, thinks about me, and every time we see each other he tells me so. I’m trying to ignore the how and keep on telling myself that anything is possible, but sometimes I just can’t ignore the present circumstance. I keep on wondering when is it going to happen. The blasted when and how! Detachment is not easy. :p

        Going off topic here, but other day I thought I smelled his perfume, but I thought it was because someone was wearing the same perfume. And then the next day I thought I smelled his apartment (his apartment has a certain smell), and then the following day after that, I’m suddenly reminded of the smell of his hand soap. Does this mean anything or it’s all in my head and I’m going crazy? This LOA is making me bonkers! LOL

        Like

      2. These scents are a good sign. Believe that something good is about to happen and as you perceive the two of you having a positive relationship, it will change to better.

        Like

  9. Hey Nina I’ve been talking to you on and off for a year now and I’ve been following this blog for a year also. Now if you’ve forgotten me and my ex broken up back in May 2016. Since then I’ve moved on. August I met someone new and we hit it off quickly. Not in a sexual way but in a romantic way. He made me feel special. However even when I was with him I still thought about me ex and still wished I was with him. Long story short. Me the guy I was dating broke up a month ago and I’m currently pregnant with my first child. We decided to co parent and work things out but I know in my heart a relationship with him isn’t going to work but I am excited about becoming a mother. I know it isn’t going to be easy. Life isn’t easy so I am preparing myself anyway I can to bring this healthy baby into this world and give it all the love and support it need. Now few weeks ago my ex who broke up with me back in May contacted me and basically ask to speak to me because he would love to hear from me and it’s been awhile. I recently learned that he is dating someone new. A female he was friends with while we were dating. He told me at the time she had a boyfriend and she wasn’t interested in him. Now they are dating. It kinda bothered me and hurt me a little that’s when I knew at the moment I may still have some feelings for him. I hate my self for it because how will I truly truly know if we will ever be together. I’ve been having thoughts and feelings of us rekindling our love and I have been seeing a tart card reader who had confirmed that he does missed me and that there is a chance of us getting back together if he puts down his ego. In his mind he thinks he was right and doesn’t feel bad. What should I do. Should I keep manifesting or should I throw in the towel and keep focusing on me. Oh and he knows I’m expecting also because he snooped on one of my social media pages and said he “put two and two together” whatever that means.

    Like

    1. Hi! First of all, congrats on the baby! It is a blessing and things can work better than you think, especially if you approach parenthood with positivity and are grateful for a good co-parent and friend in your ex who helps make parenthood a great experience 😀
      What you perceive is what happens so decide that you are back with your ex and just believe 😀 You already know that he has feelings for you so let that help you believe!

      Like

      1. Hi c..
        M very happy… i have got my love back.. n now my father has also accepted my relation.. now m manifesting my career n m sure i’ll achieve dat too… we are planning for our marriage by 2019..

        Liked by 1 person

      1. hii nina.. m back..

        kshama here..
        need ur help once again…..i dnt know y… in every love story dere is so much up and downs… why not everything goes alright… feeling really puzzled .. nina need ur help once again… m nt getting wat to manifest and how to manifest/// 😦 everyone is ready for marriage now accept my luv .. he want to marry after 2years where as my father has put condition … he wants me to marry within dis year… coz according to my father m already late,, and according to my babiee let everything settle first financially, n both are correct in their point of view n coz of both of dem.. i m nt getting wat to do.. even i also want to marry now .. 😦 bt i want everything should settle also regarding financial stability.

        Like

      2. Hi! The problem is in the expectation of these obstacles because you are used to your father thinking a specific way. However, you must focus on the end result and once again lovingly think about the end result then letting it go to manifest. Imagine your life with the two of you happily married, financially stable and everyone approving of it. Imagine a life in which you two are respected as a couple by your families and your relationship is smooth sailing. Then, believe that it will happen and allow it to. Feel love for yourself, your relationship and your families. Be grateful for your ideal reality, as if it were real already. You can do this! xx

        Like

  10. Hi,

    I recently manifested contact with my ex. We broke off 2 years ago. However, he has a girlfriend now. I still have feelings for him even though I dated other guys on and off. As much as I’m happy to hear from him, the contact has left me confused. Also, the fact that he’s in a relationship now makes me want to ignore him completely. Please give me some advice on how to attract him back to me.

    Like

    1. Hello Adele, and welcome to our community 🙂 The problem is that you are currently engaging in both negative and positive feelings about him and your relationship which makes it difficult to attract it once again.
      You need something to keep your mind away from the current reality so think about the time when you two were happy and only engage in those thoughts. Just remember it, be happy about it as if it were your current reality, be grateful for it and you will recreate it. What you give attention to is what will continue in your life so only think about what you want. If you look back on the time you two were happy, you will recreate it.
      When thoughts of your current reality come up, just ignore them and give them zero attention. Only think about what you would love to happen, as if it were your reality, and be grateful for it. Then, allow it to happen without thinking about how it might come together – just be sure that it’s yours.
      Lots of love!

      Like

    1. Hello! And, yes 🙂 LoA means that your life is shaped according to your beliefs so if you decide that the two of you are now back together and that everything worked out the way you wanted it to, if you imagine it happily and are sure that it will happen, it will. We attract what we believe so always practice self love in order to effortlessly believe that you deserve everything you want, always imagine what you WANT to happen and then, it will.

      Like

  11. Hi,

    My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and we have a scheduled trip in August. I really miss him, he has blocked me from social media. I really want him to go with me on this trip. What can I do?

    Like

    1. Hi Brenda! In order to make LoA work, you must focus on what you want and be sure that it’s a done deal, that it’s meant to happen. If you can see the two of you on that trip, visualize what it would be like and be happy and grateful for it, remaining certain that it’s going to happen, you can attract it.
      It’s important to see what you want as if it were yours already. If you can imagine it and feel good about yourself and the other person, you can make it happen.
      You can do this!

      Like

    1. i mean LOA will bring him back ? as long as i let go and love myself more .
      even he ghosetd me and blocked me and he is living in another country

      Like

  12. Hi nina,
    After long tym m back… coz of ur posts m living my happy lyf .. with my bf very soon he will be my hubby.. m very happy…..
    But i dnt know y.. except my job n marriage date all things seems to be fine.
    Actually i feel lyk i m stuck with dese too niether able to concentrate on my job nor my bf is ready to marriage coz of his promotions . Not getting wat to do… nina , last year i have done manifestation n i was successful i dnt know y… m nt being able to manifest dese days i try every tym .. bt not being able to do so… need ur help once again.

    Like

  13. I have been with my ex for almost 5 years in an on and off relationship. We got engaged last October.
    The thing is everything was perfect, until the day I started to visualize him with another girl in our place and then broke up and I desapeared and stuff. After couple weeks, I got mad at him for some reason and hé broke up with me un the most awful way, even his family got involved. And then i found out that hé cheated on me and now i dont know if this happened really because of me or not..and what should i do to bring him back .help

    Like

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