Why You Have to Ignore External Opinions

I feel that this particular topic makes its way through many of my posts; however, I never fail to understand its colossal importance.

There will be those around you who will ignore your preferences but you must understand it is a reflection of their own lives, practices, points of view and beliefs. At the same time, you have to wonder if anything in your behavior shows that you are also rejecting them or simply, if you are living a reality of wanting this person to accepts you which shows you already feel rejected by them.

Do you ever feel like this? Either of those two?

Such situation(s) can happen with absolutely anyone you consider close to you – your mother, father, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend, another family member… However, it doesn’t matter. None of it does.

You are the only one who has to approve of you. Even if everyone else did and you didn’t, you wouldn’t feel better. At the same time, as soon as you start to fully accept yourself, you will be able to accept everyone else just the way they are…and, whether or not they return the favor.

Today, someone who has known me my entire life served me food I’ve hated my entire life. They knew that but did it anyway because this food fits their idea of what I should eat.

That was how I saw it, anyway.

Later on, they apologized, saying they never would have served it had they thought I might dislike it.

I suddenly saw the situation differently.

A story like this is applicable to any situation. The very meta of conflict and rejection leads back to some version of rendering one’s needs unfulfilled. Any conflict or rejection can happen for that simple reason.

I had two choices – I could have felt rejected and gotten upset or I could have eaten something else, without putting a single thought into being served food I disliked.

Had I gotten upset, I would have had to remember the following.

  • Not all who upset me had intended on doing so. Sometimes, one has good intentions but their mixed feelings about taking the action in question (i.e. being tired of preparing this food while unsure that I would like it) will lead to receiving mixed feelings in return.
  • I attracted this event in my life, just like any other. The event in question describes at least a part of my everyday relationship with this person – in some ways, we get along perfectly while clashing in others. I probably continuously expect this person to reject my preferences, causing situations like this one.

Had I chosen to not be affected by the situation, I would remember that…

  • The person in question probably meant well. They probably didn’t mean to offend me and had I observed them with love instead of assuming they were being suffocating, I would have seen that. Approaching something or someone out of love ensures one receives love in return. Approaching something or someone out of any negative source of emotion ensures unhappy communication.
  • I could simply eat something else. Nothing was lost and no one would starve. No one even has to end up offended in a situation like this. Creation dictates you get what you give therefore giving energy to the positive, i.e. knowing there are other types of food out there, would have ensured smooth sailing.
  • Even if they thought I should eat it, only my desires about what I want to eat matter. We all get to choose for ourselves. You can say, “Thank you but I don’t like it. I will have something else instead.” Same can be done when anyone disagrees with anything in your life. You decide. If you should choose to compromise your preferences just to make someone else feel good while allowing yourself to feel bad about it, you have made a choice that will draw even more discomfort to you. However, if you genuinely decide you want to eat the food and feel good about it because it makes someone else happy, go for it. Just make the choice that makes you happy!

I know some of you will wonder and here it is – the food in question was kale. Even as a vegetarian, I strongly dislike it.

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11 thoughts on “Why You Have to Ignore External Opinions

  1. Hi Nina,

    I was doing better up until about a week ago when I mentioned that I manifested contact. In addition to manifesting the relationship, I’ve been trying to ensure that everything happens before the holidays so that he and I will spend this New Years together. The holidays have always been difficult for me because I’ve been alone for the past nine years, and pretty much this entire time hoping to spend them with him. Of course, the relationship that makes me happy is also important, but I’m hoping you understand what I mean, I want both

    The other night I was talking to my mom and telling her how sad I was that I would be dateless again. The reason i’m already saying that is because I have a wedding to go to on New Year’s Eve, and i had to turn the RSVP in this weekend stating whether i would Bring a date or not. Of course, since i haven’t heard from my guy, I wasn’t able to invite him. Also, with the things my guy said to me the last time we were physically together, I don’t feel comfortable reaching out to him to ask for a date ( he pretty much told me that he only saw me as a friend and didn’t feel right to continue any sort of a romantic relationship with me) I told my mom I was sad because im the only girl I know my age that hasn’t been in a relationship for so many years. She said it’s because I’ve been holding onto this guy and not giving anyone else an opportunity because I’m hoping so much for this relationship. I got upset because I felt like she was telling me it was all my fault.

    I just don’t know what to do Nina. The wedding is coming so quickly and now I don’t know if I will have the opportunity to ask him anymore. As you know, it’s considered rude here to add people to the guest list later since weddings are so expensive. I’m also the maid of honor so it’s not a wedding I could choose to not go to. What are your thoughts? To the idea of trying to manifest both things and To what my mom said about my singledom being my fault for putting all my eggs in one basket.

    What should I do at this point? I cried a lot last night because of the disappointment. I know I’m not supposed to do that with loa, but sometimes my heart hurts so much.

    Thank you,

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      1. RS suggested a great article for you 🙂 It contains a story included in one of Neville’s books I absolutely love which is a great example. I know you’re in pain but you imagining spending holidays together AND then, being sad and aware of not having that yet cannot bring results. You can always write to me for advice but you also have to decide to be in a good mood and decide that you CAN bring this into your life 🙂 You can do this!
        However, imagining spending holidays together and being happy about it as well as grateful.
        You have to ask yourself if you truly genuinely feel good in the moments you feel that you do have the relationship, before sadness takes over. If you feel bad about something in your mind, you cannot feel good about it in life. If you don’t want to actually imagine being with him as you want things to be, you don’t feel good about it. At the same time, you feel bad about the lack of the relationship which shows you are putting many negative feelings into the relationship (even when you think it’s absent, you are putting negative feelings into the relationship). You still don’t believe you can create this. None of this is criticism, simply a statement of the resistance you have to break though.
        Neville suggests some fantastic visualization techniques. Do them and also, you have to be convinced that you will receive what you want. When you know it’s yours, you can go about your day happily, without searching for contact from him because you know it’ll all come together. It also doesn’t matter where either of you live because if you imagine you together and feel GOOD about it, it’ll all come together. You can choose to not be a victim to your negative thoughts and choose to feel good 🙂
        All of these ideas are stated in this article as well.
        You are very attached to your desire which shows that you don’t believe you have it. When negative thoughts come, you have to replace them with the positive. You have to decide that you CAN attract this, manifest this and that it’s yours! 🙂 When you let go, lose attachment (which happens after you know it’s to be yours), you will be able to go about your day happily and know it’s coming to you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. About the wedding, focus on having fun! You are the maid of honor, that is amazing, and celebrating your friend’s love that day will also give great energy to celebrating your own 🙂
        Your awareness lies in how you react to things. You are saying here that couples make you sad about being single so you’re aware that you’re single. Once you believe that your relationship is yours, you will be happy NOW, about the relationship and for all those couples! Focus on having fun at the wedding and you will. Weddings are beautiful! I was a bridesmaid at my friends’ wedding in Brazil once and it was fantastic!
        Your mom, like many moms, tries to help and the only reason she wanted you to date was probably because she just wanted you to be HAPPY while seeing you unhappy waiting for him. However, once you truly decide the relationship you want is yours and stick with it, you will not be needing it again because you will know it’s coming and feel that it’s yours 100% 🙂
        You also have to start feeling good about yourself, appreciate yourself and know that you deserve to have what you want. Know that you can make him happy! Imagine him as an amazing boyfriend who makes you happy 😀

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      1. thank you Nina for your responses. When I said I was upset after talking to my mom, it was more because I feared what she was saying might be true… Have I really let years go to waste hoping for one man? The truth is that I have considered this in the past, however, I have opened my heart to other things in the past. The problem is that I haven’t met any man that inspires love in me like this man.

        I’ve read before that we are all one, all part of God, and that we need to remember and honor this in relationships in order for them to thrive. Our significant others are part of us just in the same way that our families are. What are your thoughts on why we pick particular person to share our lives with. If we are all one, does it even matter who we select?

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      2. You’re welcome 🙂 If you fear that you wasted time in the past, you might encounter situations today that reflect those beliefs so you can drop the worry instead 🙂 Be grateful for the past and know that you can have what you want in the present. I believe our each individual awareness and therefore, vibration, is decided based on the personality traits we connect with the most in ourselves as well as those we value in others, if you will. When valuing a certain belief, we look for those who respond to it in a way that resonates with us. This part is based on individual preferences – some look for those who agree with them while others look for opposites. However, I believe these are our each individual decisions, as we also decide what we like or dislike.
        It sounds simple but anyone can understand what I mean.
        For these reasons, we all choose who we want and feel good with.

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  2. Hi Nina! Your blog is great!
    I have read so many things of LOA and lots of forums but your words really resonate with me.
    I just want to get your opinion…
    I have been working with the LOA to attract my ex back, we were together for 3 years but the last year we have been ‘broken up’ while still spending most weekends together etc. But she wants to be friends (we are both females)
    I have come so far on my journey, I feel happier everyday with my own life. And since following your blog I realise that I need to FEEL like the relationship is mine already. Deep down I still have this feeling of lack that she is not and I constantly wait to hear the words I want.
    My desire is so strong and I want this relationship back into my life (but in a committed relationship where we are official again)
    I feel like I am close and I realise everything I see and hear is a manifestation and what I believe.
    She has also bought an apartment and is moving in next March. I really want to be there with her and move in but she keeps mentioning getting a housemate for the other room…

    Like

    1. Dear K,
      Thank you so much! So lovely of you to say 🙂
      I say, keep up the conscious belief that your relationship IS yours and your subconscious mind will catch up. Keep your vibration high and keep believing but instead of looking for it, focus on your life now. Be grateful for everything you have and appreciate in it. Do what makes YOU happy without needing anyone’s approval. Feel genuinely good about being in this relationship and keep reminding yourself that you are wonderful. Give yourself compliments! LoA is about how YOU feel which creates your reality. When you feel that you two are in a better-than-ever relationship, grateful that she is such an amazing girlfriend to you and that you are one to her, you will have that.
      Once you believe that you can do ANYTHING you want, your confidence will grow! Then, you will have done most of the work, as we create what we believe we can have 🙂
      It sounds to me like you know what to do but just have to keep up the positive feelings and actions 🙂 You basically know that you want to feel it’s yours yet you’re still on your way to that ultimate knowing. Our subconscious beliefs change through the conscious so as you keep believing and focus on being happy now, deciding that your relationship is yours already and believing it unconditionally, you will have channeled your passion towards your desired manifestation, if you will 🙂
      You are attached to your desire right now, which is why you notice it missing as well as noticing her plans for moving as they are. However, as your beliefs start to change, so will your external reality. Try and use the tip in this article, it might change your focus fast:
      https://thelawofattractionandmylife.wordpress.com/2015/09/18/the-garage-door-metaphor/

      Like

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