15 thoughts on “THOUGHT OF THE DAY

  1. Hi.
    I am new here. For 2 years I’ve known someone I’ve wanted to be with. We were only friends until his mother made it clear she didn’t think I was right for him. She would text and call him while he was with me. For approx 9 months I’ve used the LOA with great difficulty because I get so upset and angry that he listened to his mother and friends over me. I go one day wanting him and the next to just thinking let it go because he isnt interested. (Yes I realize I’m the one causing the delays) but do I really want to attract a man whose mother is always there and a man who has flat out told me he isn’t attracted to me? It didn’t seem that way, one day he was there (nothing happened) present but the next cutting me out and not taking my calls pressing the reject button. I’ve sent so many text and emails asking him not to believe what he was told about me (yes I know another mistake) to the point where I’ve now ended up looking crazy. I don’t know what to do. One minute I see a picture of him and I remember back to the second day I saw him and I remember thinking I want to marry him to being so angry and upset and yelling at him in my head. I’ve used healing techniques and I have finally managed to clear some aspects of the hurt yet still after 3 days I swing back to thinking this is useless just give up. Why do I keep changing my mind? It was only when he started telling me what his mother and friends were saying that the problems started. I’ve worked on self worth because I admit that I never thought I was good enough for him. I’m lost and confused. When I try to visualize I can’t focus and get angry and upset again that he believed the lies about me that people told him. Maybe he has an idea in his head of what a woman should look like I am not it apparently. He is younger than me and has been told I’m trying to manipulate him. It’s a huge mess. I don’t know what to do. He got on with his life and I’m still here trying to attract someone who seems to not even know I’m alive. I guess what I am asking is what would you do? Would you just give up? Thanks for listening.

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    1. Dear Gretta, welcome! 🙂 Before we begin, I want to ask you to forgive yourself for the past – this is in fact a situation many of us have faced at one point or another. However, you already know many of the answers.

      I see several problems here – your resolve to have the relationship you want to have with him isn’t strong enough, you feel disrespected by him, which you have a hard time forgiving, and you still feel that you are not good enough, at least in part.

      If your resolve were strong enough, your focus would be impossible to rattle with any negative thoughts. When you think about being in the relationship you want and only think positive thoughts about it, you might be hoping that those negative thoughts would never come up again and yet, they do. You already perceive yourself in a limbo between your positive and negative thoughts therefore you keep producing both. Your awareness needs to change in order to attract your relationship and it has to change into the awareness of living your relationship just as you wanted it, being his girlfriend and being happy about it.

      I would suggest that you ask yourself what is it about him that you keep clinging on to. This whole desire just might be coming from him possessing the traits (at least in your perception) that you feel are missing from yourself so you are wanting to be with him because you might feel that he “completes you” while YOU are the only one who can truly complete you. Maybe your ego is just fixated on him and wants to keep going until you succeed, just for validation. What do you think? Do you feel this could be true or do you, deep down, feel in your heart that you love him? You could be changing your mind because you don’t feel enough for him in your heart or your hurt ego could just be the reason.

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  2. Hi Nina
    Thanks for the reply.

    Yes I believe you are correct that I still don’t feel good enough. I work on this daily. I grew up in a family where SHAMING was a daily experience, (very different to guilting someone) from how i looked to who i was. I do experience daily occurrences of not being able to stand up for myself etc (this is a topic for another day)

    I can go days at a time being happy and visualising but the smallest thing, not even related to him, shakes me and those sad/angry feelings come up. I am a lot better than what I used to be tho.

    I see what you say about my resolve not being strong enough. It wasn’t always like that – sorry just thinking now it was. From the start I kept saying to him I don’t think this is a good idea, deep down I knew once he saw me again he wouldn’t want to be with me. It was an immese fear so I put off us seeing each other for 7 months. My fear became my reality, after he came here his text messages stopped the next morning and i took it how i think it was, that he thought he was interested but wasn’t. He would go around in circles for hours asking what our connection was about and at the same time his mother was sending him text messages that were clearing scaring him, i could see his face, i don’t know what was written in all of them but he read on out loud and it was terrible. Ive seen her abusing women on fb for leaving comments on his photos, its like he is her wife! I can’t write here what she wrote to one woman because of the profanity. Clearly she wants to be in control and thinks she knows what is best for his life. I know she has also caused problems for his other siblings. He told me that she waits up for him at night. He’s 30 years old.

    What keeps me there is a sense of knowing from the first second I saw him I knew who he was. In my past relationships i never once looked at them and thought I want to be with that person for the rest of my life but with him I did. I am not sure about him completing me, I don’t think its an ego thing. I have worked on rejection and not believing I am worthy. I know I love him, If i didn’t it wouldn’t have hurt as much going from 50 text a day to him telling me that someone has told him i wouldnt be good for his life. I can’t tell you how much that hurt, that I was perceived as some kind of danger or threat. He went from an open book to not telling me anything.

    I want to continue because I remember the early days and how easy it was, i remember the feeling of us holding hands, but my fear is he is so stubborn that he won’t come around because he has so many negative influences in his life and his mother being one very big problem. I think that is what makes me lose hope and the fact that he told me he isn’t attracted to me. I can see now how all my fears where reflected back to me.

    I hope this all makes sense.

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    1. I see. However, by acknowledging that his mother is a problem, you also know that he is under her influence and you dislike that quality about him as well. Visualizing and feeling what it would be like if you two were equal partners or any other relationship dynamics you want would allow you to believe that things could be different.
      I know you said that your family story was for another day but it might just hold the core issue of all your problems so I suggest that you allow yourself to feel it and face it. Once you know that only your opinion of yourself matters and decide to be a happy, confident individual who can be anything they want to be, you will change your awareness. If someone tries to shame you, you choose whether or not to accept that. Maybe this was difficult when you were a child but you’re an adult now and you can be anything you want to be. You choose to be the person you want to be. Now, after you have faced their limiting beliefs which they tried to impose on you, you can choose to reject them.

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      1. Hi Nina
        Thanks for the reply. You are right about the mother issue I’ve chosen to forget about her influence and just focus on us and for the first time I was able to visualize in great detail the relationship and us being together! Before I did any visualizing about myself and him I mediated and asked to speak to the *part of me* that was causing me to have these issues, when I asked the part of me what was causing this I heard ‘he betrayed me’ I spoke to this part and asked it to forgive them both and to remember the good times only and did some EFT on that little person. As I said just above it is the first time I could see us and hear him and feel the relationship and be grateful in surround sound (hahaha)
        I’ve never been grateful, I’ve always been afraid of rejection so I worked on that part also. Today I found myself making room in my cupboard, making room for him in the bathroom, setting a plate for him and searching through my computer to find my detailed description of how I wanted it to be for us and in there I read ‘his mother loves and supports us and our relationship. I think my problem is that I’ve been trying to rush it and never living in the space of knowing or acting like I’m with him instead focusing on the hurt. I checked my iTunes to see the majority of the songs are about missing someone or wanting. I also never focused on myself. I withdrew from life. It was only today that I realized how much this meant to me and the mistakes I made. I spent my time being angry with him instead of loving him unconditionally. I know what it’s like to have controlling parents I should have been better able to empathize instead of calling him a mummies boy. No I’m not beating myself up. I forgave myself today also like you said I needed to do. I believe now, before I didn’t.
        Thanks for your help. Xxx

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Wow, I am so impressed with everything you’ve said in both your replies! 😀 I love it! I’m happy to help but YOU did it! 😀

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  3. Thanks for the reply.

    I just have a few more questions.

    Should you do LOA on ‘what you want’ until it arrives because I’ve read that really you should only have to ask once and then forget about it entirely. I noticed in the past I was able to manifest ‘things’ like clothing and jobs etc just by asking once and then never thinking about it again. With the particular person I want to manifest would it be best to just ask, feel and let it go and never think of it again? But I have also read to keep going until it arrives…Confusing! I forgot to mention one thing. One night 8 months ago or so i dreamt about him and he said to me in the dream “let go” I ignored it. I don’t think I should have. That was one thing I could never do was to let go.

    Also. I have read a quote from Neville Goddard where he attracted his wife and something interesting in the quote said how he imagined this wife in a SEPARATE bed next to him. I’ve read and heard about there having to be some distance when visualising the person you want to manifest as it can push them away more. Have you heard anything about this? This is the quote ; “Sixteen years later, when I fell in love and wanted to marry my present wife, I decided to sleep as though we were married. While sleeping, physically in my hotel room, I slept imaginatively in an apartment, she in one bed and I in the other. I persisted! Night after night I slept in the assumption that I was happily married to the girl I love. ” – Neville Goddard. This is the site I saw this one. http://freeneville.com/manifesting-love-free-neville-goddard/
    If you go down the page a bit in block letters you all see a list of what you are supposedly meant to be doing and one of the points says ‘What is the “secret distance” you should be seeing him or her at – so that you don’t push them away.’

    Any feedback would be great. Thanks xxx

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  4. Hey there Gretta! I’m sorry to just jump into you and Nina’s convo like this! But I read a lot of Neville Goddard myself and read the story you just talked about. when he said that he visualized him and his current wife sleeping in separate beds, that’s how couples use to sleep back then. They had their own beds and they only shared when wanting to conceive a child. If you watch shows from back then like I love Lucy, you’ll see that the husband or wife had their own bed. Hope this help and I like freeneville.com too! I go to that site to read about Neville a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Sav
    Thanks for your response. After sending my comment I thought that may have been the case with sleeping in the separate beds back in those days.

    I am still confused as to the second part, there is a couple on the net who are saying that you should visualise the specific person at a ‘secret distance’
    The link is in the above comment he says : ‘What is the “secret distance” you should be seeing him or her at – so that you don’t push them away.’
    I haven’t heard anything like this before…

    Thanks

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  6. Well I bought that book from him a while back. He was saying that you should visualize that person at a “dancing distance” not like 20 feet away from each other. You would visualize you two at a distance that’s comfortable for the both of you. I’m in the same boat you’re in about wanting a specific person. And honestly, it takes a lot of patience and practice to get your desire and once you get the hang of of it, it manifest fast! What’s so weird was before my ex and I started dating, I knew we would be together and actually believed we were together. I’m trying to place myself back into the mood and so far, me being happy has helped me a lot 😊

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    1. Nina/Sav
      I’ve decided to visualize once in the morning as I’m waking and once at night right before sleep and then just go out into my day not thinking about it/him at all, that’s my letting go part/technique.
      Sound good? Otherwise I think I may find myself thinking of him all day and I don’t think that classifies as letting go.
      When he does come to mind I’m just going to say thank you and let it go.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you so much for your answers Sav, I love them all! I can only add that I believe he said dancing distance because it is the easiest way of visualizing another person – in a conversation, having dinner, even literally dancing! Visualizing them touching you can be a challenge and you might feel it isn’t real – that type of visualization is better left coming to you spontaneously. However, you can easily see yourself in a conversation with someone or on a date 😀 I have actually often visualized dancing with whichever man I was manifesting. I just realized that 😀

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