Keeping Focus on Your Ultimate Goal

Since I mentioned this in my last few blog comments, I will elaborate on it now.

Some find themselves to be capable of keeping a limited amount of focus on their end goal while overthinking its potential development or painful past experiences in the meantime.

Several times, I’ve manifested using the following set of personally devised steps.

  1. Capture the feeling of having/living your desire now. See yourself in it. Dare to feel overwhelmed with love, having received your desire. Feel it! Then, say “Thank you.”
  2. Ask the Universe to give your desire to you and then, thank the Universe for having received it. You will end up using almost the exact same words for both. I think both of those because I know that as soon as I ask, my desired reality is created. Then, the only thing left is to receive it.
  3. Every time you feel tempted to entertain your negative thoughts (if you do at all), remember that since you asked for your desire, you must receive it.
  4. Whenever you want to (if you do), remember the feeling of having/living your desire from step one. If you would rather let go completely and forget about your desire until it manifests, you can.

This exceptionally brief series of steps often allows me to manifest within six, twelve or twenty-four hours. Other times, immediately, depending on the desire in question or how quickly I let go/am ready to receive what I had asked for.

WHY FOCUS ON YOUR END GOAL?

For one, focusing on the path your desire takes to manifest into your life will only lower your vibration. You will most likely want it to manifest faster, losing grasp on the gratitude you should feel for it.

Instead, be grateful that your desire is coming to you. Be grateful for your reality of living it, which will manifest soon.

Another reason why you should stop thinking about the path of your manifestation is your awareness of not having it yet. You can playfully imagine how it might happen but not cling to any of those ways.

Focusing on the “how” part can induce a sense of fear almost effortlessly. In my case, I don’t want to know how my desire will manifest – that part holds amazing surprises so why spoil it?

Be open to the most amazing surprises of your life! Be confident in yourself because you are unique and beautiful. Admire the person you are!

All of this sounds so simple only because it is.

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129 thoughts on “Keeping Focus on Your Ultimate Goal

  1. Hi Nina. I haven’t read the above post yet but I’ve been crying my eyes out and I am not sure why. I don’t feel scared. I feel overwhelmed maybe (?) that I am going to be seeing him after 3.5 years and I feel a bit in shock. I’m worried that i will burst out crying or something when I see him. I know for sure I want to apologize to him for what happened in our past, and I know you will probably say not to do this, and if you say not to I won’t – but just 15 minutes ago I started crying and I don’t know if its because I am going to be seeing him for the first time in so long or if I may not be able to handle how I feel and i don’t want him to know I still have feelings because I don’t know if he knows that I do and I don’t want to do anything to scare him off, cause I have been at this for what feels like forever! Today I felt a sense of guilt and pondered on whether i was doing the right thing but then i snapped myself out of it and realised my intentions are good and I want him to be happy so I am not doing anything bad – and it was just then that I realized how much I love him. It was like a cry of gratitude and amazement maybe mixed into it also. I have no freaking clue why I’m crying. As i said, I’m not afraid, at all, I can admit when I am. I think it might be just being next to him again. Or I am scared that this IS going to happen? Fark! Can you shed any light on what you think I might actually be crying about?

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    1. Hi there Gretta,

      I’m not expert like Nina is but I’m going to give it a shot.

      Crying is release. Our tears are the result of overwhelming emotion that we are so filled of that our body’s response is to cry : it can be due to anything – stress, gratitude, fear, anger, love, all of it boils down to relief.

      You’ve come such a long way you know between your posts before and your recent ones something clicked and released, as it happened you took inspired action and now you’re on the way to something you’ve been wanting for a long time…. Of course it’s overwhelming, it might be a mix of everything or just the overspill of all the layers you shed to get here.

      I wouldn’t spend too much time wondering why you’re crying because you don’t seem to feel like it’s from resistance or fear. I’d focus on the fact that you’re crying while something great is happening- and right now that’s just your body’s response.

      If you start overthinking it you might start making association and assumptions that weren’t there in the first place.

      We’re emotional creatures and so one of the ways we emote is through tears. That is all it is. Id have the good cry and see how you feel afterwards. It’s cleansing so you might feel lighter and just have more clarity regardless on where that clarity takes you, allow yourself to just be in the now and if the now involves tears so be it.

      Everything makes sense and everything is working out exactly like it should – you’re so much farther than you were even weeks ago and now you need to make more emotional space for what is coming because what’s coming is perfection if you allow it without overthinking it.

      Can’t wait to read your next chapter. All is absolutely effin’ well !!! 😚

      Too much love your way 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amazing words and advice 🙂 It literally is tossing out one’s dated feelings and awareness in order to make room for the new. Well done! And Gretta, all really is well 🙂 It’s happening!

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      2. Yes. Thanks so much for that! 🙂

        I was reading how we are taught / learn to confuse excitement for fear and joy for sadness. I think it was a mix of both, feeling excited and joyful. I think there was some disbelief there also, some shock, because I remember seeing my affirmation book where i was thanking the universe in advance for him and our life together – i had put the affirmations away and only 2 days after putting my affirmation book away and forgetting about it, we are now speaking. i didn’t feel resistance like i wanted to push him away as I’ve done in the past, i do remember thinking, “this is really going to happen.” I felt grateful above everything I think also.

        Wow.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Have you ever felt like your manifestation has slowed down or stopped? Sometimes, Insee lots of signs and then other times, not so much.

    Is there something I am doing to cause this? Or something I can do to prevent it?

    I am working on not looking for lots of signs and be patient, but I fall off the wagon occasionally. : )

    Thank you.

    Bea

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    1. This just shows you need to believe it’s yours and let go. I’ve only ever experienced what you’re describing when being unsure of what I wanted. Then, I thought about it and when I knew, I manifested easily.
      However, this varies from case to case. It doesn’t mean you don’t actually want it but you’re blocking yourself as if you’re unsure, putting negative feelings into your desire and preventing it from manifesting.
      I would suggest that you trust the Universe. If you asked, you must receive, just like in the steps I’ve described. That way, you don’t ever feel like you’re doing anything because truthfully, you’re not. All you have to do is ask and receive 🙂

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  3. Hi Nina, thanks for this 🙂 can you go into detail of the words you have used in step two? Do you say ” I want to be in a loving relationship with….” Thank you for my loving relationship with ….”

    I like seeing the words you use. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have used several different words and phrases that felt wonderful and right. However, these particular ones repeated at times, “I am his girlfriend, this relationship is happening,” as if this unstoppable force was bringing it into my life because it truly felt that way.
      On other occasions, I would say, “I want to be his girlfriend and the person who makes him happy.” That was important to me. And, it worked for as long as I was happy in the relationship.
      Whatever I felt for the man in question, he would feel for me. However I felt about myself, he felt the same about me. This is why it’s important to genuinely feel good and accept the person you are with for everything they are. If you focus on why you like or love someone, you will naturally gravitate towards them. Then, you can experience true love together.
      All of the above is also why I say, choose someone you want to give love to. Who do you like/love, want to love and want to actually spend time with?
      See what I mean? 🙂

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    2. Yes. Use the words “I AM” his girlfriend or wife or whatever it is that you want it to be.

      I AM is more powerful then I WANT.

      I AM – you’re affirming that you already are.

      I have an affirmation book where i write either – ” i am his xxxx” or “i am so happy and grateful for my xxxxx with xxxx”

      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gretta,

        I am so happy for you. Your story is truly inspiring! It gives me hope. It is truly amazing to see the LOA in action and I am a true believer in the Universe.

        Love to all.

        Bea

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks Nina, it’s really interesting what said. Does this men that when my guy hasn’t shown love for me… I also was not showing love for him?
    Or does it mean I wasn’t showing love for myself and he reflected that back?

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    1. Every time you put negative thoughts into your desired relationship, such as doubting his feelings or the possibility of finally being with him, you are not loving your relationship. You are putting negative thoughts into it, preventing it from manifesting.
      The second part is also true. You have said to me in the past that you felt unattractive. With him, you said you also felt like you were not enough because you didn’t believe he could only be interested in you and only want to be with you. That shows you didn’t feel enough for him.
      However, you KNOW that you should feel like you are enough because you ARE enough 🙂

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  5. Hi Nina,
    I just have a quick question about visualization. When manifesting a specific person do you see yourself in the scene or just him? I can’t visualise faces very well but I can feel him holding my hand & feeling love & happiness. I’ve just heard a few conflicting ideas about this & thought I’d get your point of view.
    Thankyou! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Visualization is just like living life – you see, hear etc. just like you see people in real life and communicate with them. When you think back on something that happened with someone, remember an event or anything else, you don’t remember every single detail about it. As long as you feel and believe that what you want is yours, it’ll work. If you work on your belief, your visualizations will start to feel effortlessly real. Belief is most important for manifestation.

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  6. Hi Nina,

    Why is it that you are able to manifest so quickly compared to us like in this post you mentioned 24 hours whereas I’ve been trying for quite some time now. Does this mean I’m not letting for even 24 hours? Or is it because I have history with my person?

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    1. It does mean you’re not letting go. As I’d said before, feeling OK for a little while and then going back to worry because you are still noticing that it isn’t manifesting is NOT letting go. Letting go means believing that your desire belongs to you simply because you have asked for it and being able to be happy with everything you have, knowing you will get everything you want.
      Noticing every day that your desire hasn’t manifested yet and feeling negatively about it is also not letting go. When negative thoughts come, replace them with belief.
      I believe in getting what I want simply because I have asked for it, without needing any proof. If one needs proof, they don’t believe their desire belongs to them just yet.

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    2. Anyone that as ever manifested anything will tell you they succeeded once they chose to believe and stop worrying about it. And so can you, both do it and stop worrying. It’s a decision. I decide it’s mine and I believe it. I KNOW that I can have it. Work on your belief and happiness without worrying about him.

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      1. Thank you Nina, the good thing is that I do feel a little better but what keeps me from letting go is that I worry I won’t ever fully believe in this. I’ve let go many times in the past and he came back, but never as a committed relationship. Always with the same hesitations towards me and being my boyfriend. I don’t know if I should just accept that I may be one of those women that never marries or settled down. It happens to a lot of women. I mean after the history I’ve had its very hard to believe this guy would all of a sudden feel in love after ten years of not. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a situation like that. I mean maybe the guy doesn’t realize at first and then does, but never this long.

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      2. But as long as you don’t believe, you can’t manifest.
        Some people think about what they would like to experience and feel that “if it happens, it happens.” This is also positive creation energy and is an alternative to knowing your desire is yours and then letting go. Both ways allow letting go and that’s why they’re both so effective. The answer for you would definitely be believing it’s yours and trusting the Universe to give it to you. I am not sure you are willing to feel like “if it happens, it happens.”
        If you dare to believe it is yours without needing proof, you will remove the need for your desire and allow it to come to you.
        I am sure you would find many cases of people who have been in a similar situation and turned it around. You may not have heard of one but anything is possible and has surely happened in the world. Even if you hadn’t ever heard of something like that happening to anyone you know, who cares? Believe it’s possible and you’ll be the first 🙂

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  7. C

    When you are in doubt. Look at my story.
    3 YEARS LATER we are in the same room, no other people showed to the event. Just me and him!
    If that isn’t the Universe, I don’t know what is.
    I was exactly like what you mentioned above. I know there is days when you feel as if you can’t believe but what if you just suspended your disbelief FOREVER? If you have any doubts look how far I have come. Never thinking I could forgive him to him saying hes willing to let go of the past.
    Say it’s yours, know it’s coming, and get on with life as you would normally only thinking of him to say thank you. You must let go. There is to much attachment.
    That’s all I do now. I visualize just because it feels good not because I feel it necessary. That takes even more pressure off.
    Don’t focus on the 10 years. Time is an illusion.
    I think deep down you believe you don’t deserve love or him and a problem with receiving.
    Find an Access Bars practitioner or facilitator in your area and look at your childhood from age 0-7 and ask them to help with clearings on how to remove any beliefs you have around love and deserving, receiving and being loved. It changed my life only 2 short weeks ago and there he was. BOOM! Sitting in a room with me ‘laying hands’ on each other.
    You have many beliefs that need to be cleared. “I don’t know if I should just accept that I may be one of those women that never marries or settled down. It happens to a lot of women.” What you are saying here is that you dont believe you deserve happiness or that big love with ANYONE. It happens to a lot of women because they carry the same belief.
    You said ‘I mean after the history I’ve had its very hard to believe this guy would all of a sudden feel in love after ten years of not. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a situation like that. I mean maybe the guy doesn’t realize at first and then does, but never this long. = You are coming to a CONCLUSION here. You are affirming that it’s not possible for 2 people who have known each other for 10 years to find love with each other. That’s not true. You have never believed. There maybe days where you think you have but you haven’t.
    Find the practitioner that I mentioned about and have at the very least 10 full sessions. Spare no expense on the money to have this done. Tell them you want clearings from your childhood all the way until now. One question they may ask you is “What have you made so vital about believing you don’t deserve the love you should and could be receiving?’
    Trust me. Find the practitioner asap.
    With Love Gretta x

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  8. Thank you Nina & Gretta for your words and advice

    Nina, I have a couple of questions for you on things that have confused me. There is one thing that you said to me before that really stuck out to me but I had questions on. You told me that whatever I feel for myself, he will feel for me. That whatever I feel for him, he will feel for me.

    My question is how this applies to my specific person only. For instance, I do acknowledge that I have self-love issues that I’m working on. I never realized it before, and most people think I’m confident in most regards, but I have a strong sense of perfectionism that I do know is there. For example, I feel like I have to be the perfect weight (most people would say I have a nice figure but I’m always criticizing myself), always look my BEST, etc. Definitely, this guy mirrors that, because although he does compliment me a lot, (tells me i”m beautiful, compliments my clothing etc) he would also do things like hit my belly if it was sticking out or pinch it, and I know this is an area of my figure that I feel is never good enough, so its funny that he mirrors that back to me.

    Why is it that he mirrors this back to me, when others don’t. For example, if i have issues with self-love, why are there so many family members that would do anything for me and love me, I’m definitely one of the favorites with my aunts/uncles in addition to my parents. There’s even other guys out there that definitely adore me. Unfortunately, I don’t feel in-love or interested in them, but why does my guy mirror these things to me, and these other people do not? If I have an issue with self-love, shouldn’t this reflect back to me from everyone?

    Also, I know I already mentioned to you that I’ve let go in the past. One time, it was after he started dating someone else. The hurt was just too much so I let go, and started looking to date someone new. I even found someone I was interested in, and he was interested in me back. He was a very popular guy, so when he expressed interest back, I felt great and confident. Literally, I was on my way to work one morning, feeling amazing, when I got a text from my person. He wanted to know if I was going to pay him for some things he had given me before we stopped dating (he had sold some used equipment to me, but we never discussed a price because it was when we were falling apart so it was uncomfortable) In his text, he had said that he thought a fair value was $1,000. I was shocked because I was thinking more like $300. i felt bad, because things were not good when we stopped dating, and now we were having discussions about money, and even though I had given up hope on this guy, I was worried that we might have a money issue that would lead to us hating each other. i remember I thought about it, and I sent him a text from the heart, I told him that I didn’t think the equipment he had given me was worth that much, and i had thought the amount would be more around the 300-500 mark, but that the last thing I wanted was for a money issue to come between us because I still loved him as a person. He responded and said that he didn’t want to have any grief either and that whatever amount I wanted to pay would be fine. I was happy that we were ok, and went on with my day.

    A few days later, he texted that he had a meeting in my city the following morning and he wanted to know if he could sleep on my couch that night. I told him sure, and he came over. Things were great and friendly, and I told him that I didn’t have many extra blankets for the couch , but if he wanted he could sleep in my bed because its very large, and we could sleep on opposite sides. he opted for that, and we had a great talk, catching up, he was being very sweet and asking about my family, etc. Keep in mind, that because I was already interested in someone new, I wasn’t trying to get with him either. We fell asleep, and when I would wake up, i could see that he was trying to get close to me. We didn’t cuddle or anything, but he was reaching his hand out in order to touch me. He left for his meeting in the morning and I didn’t hear from him for a while. Within a couple of months I realized that I didn’t have feelings for the new guy, and that I still loved my guy.

    The thing is… I really let go then, and I felt great about myself and my life because things were going well, and I had attracted a guy that a lot of girls were interested in. Why didn’t things with my guy manifest then? Sorry so long 🙂

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    1. He mirrors your insecurities back to you because you care or even fear what he thinks as you constantly feel undeserving of your desire with him. You know that if you carry yourself well, other people will agree but you don’t believe that he will so easily because you always name the reasons why he wouldn’t like you enough. You name them in your comments on this blog and it shows they’re on your mind.
      You don’t think others notice your imperfections but that he always does and you sort of fear that he will always focus on them. You always feel differently about him than anyone else in a sort of a negative way, expecting that he finds flaws with you instead of that he loves you.
      Everything you’ve written comes down to the same things.
      Things with your guy had started to manifest then. If when he slept over, which he had initiated, you believed things were happening but ALLOWING them to happen instead of again being aware that he stopped texting and calling again, that he was absent again, they would have eventually manifested fully. However, as we said before, you always expect that he would disappear because you want him to text often and show up often and you get upset when he does, blocking your manifestation. You want to receive your desire as soon as you ask for it but you have to let it happen and let go instead of getting upset at the current reality. Thinking of when he should text, why he should text and what you think he would be doing if he truly cared is trying to control the outcome. You have to believe in your end result and let the rest happen, as we have said before.

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  9. I forgot to mention above. When you find the practitioner in your area tell them you want your “Bars Run” and sessions of clearings related to love, self love, believing, manifesting and whatever else you can think of.
    Google ‘Access Bars’ and find a practitioner in your area. I guarantee you won’t have to ask anymore questions as it WILL clear all these beliefs you have. All you have to do is lay there. You must stop judging yourself. After one session, one issue that was plaguing my belief about how I looked and that I could be with him was GONE in an hour and will never return. I recommended everyone go and have this done. This is the course I went and learnt. Find a practitioner and have minimum 10 Bars sessions with clearings. It will change your entire life.

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  10. Hi Nina,
    How do we “Capture the feeling of having/living your desire now” if we’ve never really had our desire? Like I know I would like to be in committed marriage with my special person. How would I feel? Would I be happy and excited… or would it be more of a comfortable feeling?
    I was in a happy relationship many years ago, however I never felt that my partner at the time was going to be my future husband. I know what it feels like to know you want to marry the person you’re with… but i don’t know how it feels to have the knowing that they want the same with you?
    What can I do in this case?
    Thank you.

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    1. What you want to do here is decide how you WANT to feel with him and what kind of a relationship you want to have with him. Sometimes, you will be excited and other times, you will feel comfortable but still happy that this is yours. Imagine what he acts like now that is your man and how you feel having him as your man. What is he like now that he loves you?
      What you can also do is use pictures or other images of the happy couples that remind you of what you want the two of you to be.
      You can get creative but think about what it is your want to experience with him, what he’ll be like now that you make him feel this immense love every day and how that makes you feel. If you can create anything you want, anything is possible.
      If you feel easier about it, imagine the wedding and how you feel having married him 🙂 That one is easy and you don’t have to worry about some of these things you mentioned here. That visualization would be easy.

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      1. Thank you Nina. The truth is that I’m getting tired, even though I still want it. I even took a long break from praying about it specifically, and just focused on writing gratitude lists and meditating and practicing affirmations. Brandon Martin has this chakra balancing audio tapes that I’ve been listening to for a few weeks now. I do feel ok, but I still dont feel great, and to be honest that at times is very frustrating. I feel like my life is just passing me by sometimes and that is very hard because I feel like I’m getting cheated by life. I agree with Lyly’s comment below… I know a lot of people that I think are more insecure and have more issues than I do, but they seem to have more in life in terms of relationship. Thank God I have my health, but the truth is that besides health, I feel like a happy and positive relationship is the second most important thing to a person feeling happy in life.

        Like I said, I was focusing on other things… trying to love myself, but the one feeling I can’t shake is that I feel lonely, and that I really miss him in my life. The fact that he is so far away now, really makes things difficult to imagine sometimes because since he isn’t calling me we have no interaction. From what I understand, letting go means letting go of worry… but how do you stop worrying about something you love. Honestly, the only relationships I wasn’t worried in, it was because i didn’t see that person as the final “one”. Does this mean that loving something too much is bad? Is this why some people say, its better to marry someone who loves you more than you love them?

        I have done these visualizations for years now, and while I do see progress sometimes its never a full realization of desire. I think at this point I don’t know if I’m capable to believe I can have him that way, and it makes me very sad when I realize that.

        I don’t know if your book will be able to help when it comes out, because I know you’ve already explained so much to us here… and yet I’ve struggled. I do plan on taking a day off from work when your book comes out to completely absorb myself in it

        i honestly wish sometimes that there was a magic pill i could take to turn my life around right away. That I could see him come up to me and tell me that he loves and adores me and that he wants to spend his life with me, and to give the reciprocal love that I’ve desired for so long now from him. I really wish that magic pill did exist sometimes, because I have put so much of myself trying this and really have tried Nina. I have really tried so much on my own. I do believe, maybe just not in this situation enough which is heartbreaking.

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  11. You know I think I speak for everyone when I say the hardest part is getting past what is, not paying attention to what things look like. As much as the day dream and the visualization a feel amazing, for me that’s all they sometimes are wishful thinking delusions.

    I hear it when you say vibing high, and just because you asked you will receive and it’s you standing in your way – and it even makes sense.

    But then when some people are stuck in a cycle of manifesting a person for years, wanting a person genuinely and really trying their best to align with it because they’re told their vibration and their thoughts define the outcome and can change things overnight ..

    But it doesn’t, and they hold on with dear life because they genuinely want their person but as time goes by it seems farther and farther from seeming possible-

    When is it time to just let it go and move on because well this one time it just didn’t pan out, and that’s okay – it’s such a heavy responsibility when I think about it : you are the reason for everything all the time : don’t be in a bad mood or you’ll mess everything up, think like this, visualize like this, don’t focus on this and whatever your reality is pretend it’s something else –

    And years later if you’re still doing that and it’s not manifested and somehow you can’t move on, isn’t it time to just admit defeat and carry on with life and other things ? I’m not years down the line yet, but as much as I genuinely love the idea of my relationship with this ideal partner, I love myself enough as well to just say you know what, maybe he doesn’t feel the same about you and that’s okay, life is like that and sometimes you don’t know why something doesn’t work out but in the end maybe it’s the best case scenario ? It hurts like a mother to let it go but at the same time there’s so much relief in it… –

    insanity is constantly doing the same thing and expecting a change. Sometimes I feel like in our loa community especially ( actually only ) when it comes to love or money .. We’re a bit insane.

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    1. Dear Lyly,
      Thing is, since every issue you feel in or about your relationship translates into how you feel about yourself, I think that if you aren’t manifesting, there is nothing but an issue to resolve within yourself.
      If you think that someone doesn’t feel the same, you probably don’t feel like you’re enough for them. That is a belief you have posed on yourself.
      Once your inner world changes, so does your entire life 🙂 If someone feel like they’ve been trying hard for ages but got nowhere, they need to reexamine their belief. They simply need to feel deserving and feel like their desire belongs to them 🙂

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      1. Hi Nina,

        I absolutely understand the mechanics of what you’re saying. But then we all know people with serious insecurities about themselves who still have relationships with very loving partners they don’t feel they deserve, we know people who are naturally negative who still have a partner who loves them ( my mom is like that) – so doesn’t that defeat the theory that you have to feel a certain way within to manifest ?

        When I say maybe he doesn’t feel the same way it’s because I don’t see what else it could be – I don’t think I’m less anything, but reality is showing me something ( granted it’s a result of my past beliefs) and I look at it – rather objectively and trying to make sense of it my only possible rational explanation is : he’s just not that into you. And as I said there is relief there – because it’s not about me not being enough, or not being aligned ..

        It’s not ‘my fault’ – I feel guilty in LOA sometimes when things don’t work out : it’s your fault for not aligning… The overachiever in me really struggle with the ‘not being able to get it right ‘.

        Feeling as if you have it already makes me feel like I’m crazy … Pretending to have something I don’t, again the rational behind it is so twarped.

        You know what I just realized ? When I read successful testimonies they’re usually from people predisposed to believing in a higher power and grace-

        There’s rarely a guideline for overthinking, rational, skeptical people who will struggle with the concept of ‘ the universe’ will sort it out, believe and then you’ll see it.

        I’m not an emotional creature and I believe in solid facts and things that make sense even though I’m not opposed to the concept of serendipity and happy miracles – E-squared by Pam grout was great that way because it spoke to my rational mind in terms of clear experiments with obvious results .

        My question here beauty is : how do you apply LOA to attract a specific person when you’re a very rational fact driven person?

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      2. I would say, by getting used to the idea that the Universe brings your feelings to you whether you manifest consciously or not. You already know this – that’s why you’re here 🙂 Sometimes, we attract things without realizing that we do. An individual who has practiced seeing things the opposite way to what intentional manifestation practitioners do just needs to create new habits but above all, want to create them.
        Some choose to keep attracting unintentionally which is also fine. Their relationship manifestations happen without consciously intentional attraction.
        The individuals you mentioned see and believe in having the ppl they are with. They feel comfortable and natural about being with those they are with. They feel that their partners love their qualities and accept their faults. Do you ever try to be perfect for your specific person or do you truly accept yourself as good enough now?
        “Trying” to feel that you have it makes you feel bad – you are supposed to feel having it and feel good, without “trying” to make it happen.
        Do you want to change your habits or are you guided by your old ones, falling into negative thoughts by default?
        If you don’t want to feel as if, send heart energy and believe that you’re attracting him.
        When you see yourself in a relationship with him, do you feel good about it?
        WHY do you feel like he isn’t into it? As soon as your feelings change, so will the result. The people you mentioned feel like they are enough for their partners. If you feel good abt YOU, you can believe he’d want to date you and that he can feel good abt you. You have no logical reason not to 🙂 Why wouldn’t he? He is already interested.
        Only focus on his qualities – exclusively 🙂 Only the things you like.
        Do you see LoA as hard work? Because you are supposed to feel good and let go. Right now, you don’t feel good and notice his absence. You feel the need to see results. Take a look at any other circumstance from your past – you received it when you felt good abt it, didn’t need, wanted it enough ot let go. The past says a lot in terms of the positive.
        It doesn’t matter that you don’t talk now. You don’t know why he reacts with silence because you don’t know what he’s thinking. Think of your history and New Year’s. Things change 💟

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      3. Belief, FEELING the feelings that you are already in the exact relationship you want with them now and then I send heart energy at that exact moment – when I am IN THE ZONE of those FEELINGS that I have the relationship I want with him NOW. It’s powerful. I don’t think I ever got myself to the stage of being able to feel as It was only when Nina said this to me that I finally got it – **’focus on how you feel now that he has made you and your love a priority. As if you have it now. How would that feel?’** – THAT is when everything changed and I realized its the FEELINGS that are the most important aspect. It’s the feelings that draw the experience to you, as they say in the secret movie.
        Feeling, Heart energy and letting go. That’s the secret. ❤ ❤ ❤

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      4. Absolutely ! When I imagine what it would feel like, it’s magic and it feels amazing – went to sleep doing that yesterday..

        I think C hit the nail on her post, and I had mentioned it before : general consensus says if a guy doesn’t act a certain way you’re wasting your time. I remember talking to a friend about how I randomly meet him and he looks at me in a way I never noticed, he even adjust his clothes and seems self conscious around me and is always very happy to see me : it shows in his face it just brightens up and he just goes in for the hug – and she says but he doesn’t call or tries to see you, it’s always by coincidence and I said yes- and she went quiet and had the : oh honey look on her face and said ‘ and you’re still stuck on this guy really?

        I can’t even explain why- I have pleaded with the universe to help me release it if it’s not meant for me and if it’s not the guy for me and if there’s someone better lined up to just make him disappear, stop the random signs and help my heart release ; that week I saw him twice in 2 days after not physically seeing him for months…

        This is why I’m here trying to make sense of it … I know I am great at manifesting things and it shows in my life : everything I have wanted has found a way to come into my reality somehow, sometimes after 2 years but without fail.

        Relationships are just so much trickier because they’re so … emotional. I’m at a point where I want change one way or another, but when I’m trying to walk away it pulls me back so clearly that’s not really what I want – but I don’t want to sit there drooling over some guy who can go months without even talking to me either.

        Why would I think he’s not into me, for nothing else than the fact that he doesn’t behave like he is. I do think he thinks I’m attractive, I can see it in his face when he sees me – even more so when I last saw him I had never noticed the way he looks at me… But what’s the point if he doesn’t do anything about it, then he’s just like the other guys who drool over me, talk about how I’m the best thing since djenga, but don’t actually make a move… Ever.

        It’s across the board : the only ones who do make the move are the creeps lol – uncanny eh ?

        I’m not as insecure as I used to be, I have done a lot of work on myself and have more love myself now than I ever had in life- which is partially why I wonder if I want to sit and do all types of woowoo, energy pulling remote seductive things with no real guarantee that it works – because otherwise it would work all the time for everyone but it doesn’t ..

        A diet, if anyone ears less and goes to the gym they will lose weight – absolutely no doubt about that – some slower because of metabolism or other things that will be clearly identified at some point.

        With this specific person stuff – too many intangible variables that may or may not affect the outcome and no real way to measure them .. I feel great when I think about him, I’m certain our relationship would be the best either one of us has ever had – just because of that it shouldn’t be so complicated to bring us together … But it is , so maybe I’m wrong – and that’s okay right ?

        Like

    2. Hi LyLy or anyone else who this might help.

      Remember me? I’m that person that couldn’t let go of what I perceived were all his faults and the relationship with his mother.
      Since starting to send heart energy all that stopped. All doubts. All fears. All of it. I never think ill of them anymore and even a lot of the time can understand why he is so close to her. Yep, you read that right. lol

      The more I send heart energy, up to six times a day now, the easier it is to believe and like magic everything disappeared.

      Heart energy has made me get into the space of acting like I already have it. It is changing my subconscious mind faster.

      I cant explain it but heart energy ‘cured’ everything I was ranting about and I got to see how I was not accepting him unconditionally which means I was doing that to myself also.

      Then I realized whats the rush? He can come whenever he wants. I’m busy and happy getting on with my new fitness routine and my nutritional course. He has a life too.

      I recently had a girl move in with me and she is attracting someone who is over the other side of the world. Each night I see her putting out a plate and glass for him and having a conversation with him. We have been reading Manifesting Love by Elizabeth Daniels book together at night – we do a few chapters and write down lists, scripts and sending heart energy at the same time. I only glace over the list and script every few days but the heart energy is up to as many times a day that I can do it. I realized this person needed love, not me telling him how being a mummy’s boy wasn’t right.

      Heart energy really is the key to all of it in the end. It magically makes you relaxed and let go.

      Nina is right, you can attract anything you want including specific people because I have done it my whole life also. When I look back it was only when I affirmed it was either mine or going to happen or just plain thinking about how much I liked them and ‘wanted’ to be with them and letting go and getting on with life and sometimes forgetting completely that it came to me. I think letting go completely in my case helped remove all resistance that I may have had.

      Heart ❤ energy and letting go is the key.

      Like

      1. I think it’s amazing how far you’ve come and I’m tremendously happy for you 🙂 you seem lighter and positive and it’s wonderful to see.

        I do send heart energy regularly and I even feel him randomly when he thinks about me and sends it back, it’s absolute magic.. Part of me though laughs at my willingness to believe in fairy dust and things that are like fairy tales : they sound amazing but they’re not real…. Or at least we don’t know for sure.

        Some people believe in it and it’s soothing, I feel like a kid who just realized that maybe Santa Claus isn’t real …so my perspective vascilates between left brain and right brain – I haven’t chosen a side yet but I won’t lie, I’m gearing towards the rational, unfairy dusted , no unicorn but palpable and factual side … It’s not fun, it’s not uplifting but no surprises and you know what to expect.

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  12. Hi Lyly,

    You are so true!It’s hard to make one believe who wants hard facts, logic etc.

    IMO, It all comes to belief, BELIEF only, I guess.

    It’s your BELIEF that you can’t convince your rational mind, and you won’t be able to until you decide. I am a girl from science background and working in IT firm. We rely on facts, docs, data and stuff. When I read about LOA and the techniques I mocked. But still I tried because I wanted hope, i wanted relief, I wanted someone to show me a path and I wanted to walk on that.

    Guess what? My logical mind still mocks when i interpret signs, i visualize, say thanks for smallest things in my life but I try to convince it that things do work exactly like this. I was torn between whether we can attract specific person or not… and there I used my logical mind… I said if I can attract things based on this law then why not a person.

    I think it’s tough to attract a person because we use our ego, because we have this habit of passing remarks and reactions to things mostly in a negative way. Every day, until manifestation happened, there was one thing I questioned “Why the hell I am bothered if he is not” or “Have you lost your self-respect?” If I would have let it go and never bothered even then it would have been the best decision though.

    I’d confess one thing… I also wanted a prove if things really happen like this and this is also why I pursued. And I won.

    After reading all this what I realized is that there is no concept of God/Universe/Source etc if you don’t believe in that. Just think it like ENERGY. Give it a rational name ENERGY that never ever stops. I am from India, a Hindu and if you would read or know even a little about Hindus – we are into God and we don’t have just one. LOL. But after reading all the concepts I do pray but I look at them differently. I don’t look at them like a higher power because it’s all me. I pray because I have become habitual, I have to follow rituals of my culture and I enjoy doing them.

    I really enjoyed experiments in E-squared I am gonna read E-squared again. It will be fun to practice those experiments.

    xox

    Like

    1. Hi there Lightline,

      I love the Hindu culture though – it’s so colorful, peaceful and filled with beautiful concepts- but it also like most religions strips one away from responsibility making us live in a mindset that somebody out there decides what we do or do not get in life.

      I understand everything you’re saying, especially since we’re obviously both quite cerebral. I have always had a bit of spiritually side to me too though but I found my spiritual side to be the least reliable.

      My left brain gets stuff done, moves on when it should and focuses on the things that are constructive and matter. My right brain is constantly stuck in lala land and never gets anywhere – she’s fun but to be honest nothing ever pans or because she’s also wishy washy and lives in the clouds.

      I read stories of people who have manifested to find a pattern, something solid to rely on that surely works everytime – but the outcome is not even guaranteed sometimes they get the person, sometimes it’s someone else that had nothing to do with anything – sometimes the person comes back but doesn’t stick around, sometimes the person comes back and they don’t want them anymore – sometimes it’s fast, sometimes it’s not- or literally the slowest thing you’ve ever seen….

      There’s no absolutely guaranteed fire proof equation that says : do this + this x this many times = result – every single time !!!

      The only person I saw who claimed this was Lanie method and even then she’ says if it doesn’t work : it’s your fault.

      I’m not saying any of this with emotion though I’m totally in left brain mode trying to understand 🤔

      Like

  13. Hi Nina,

    Its me again 🙂 I just read your last response and i wasn’t sure if it was for me or for Lyly, but either way it resonated for sure. There was something that you said that me realize a belief that is really hindering me that I hadn’t thought much about before.

    From this I’ve formed a couple questions:

    1)Its the belief that if a man loves a woman, he will do something to be with her. All relationship experts and gurus etc seem to reiterate this. In my case, my guy is single, is successful in his career, things are great with his family, he is old enough to settle down for sure, I just can’t come up with any reason why he wouldn’t communicate with me, reach out to me… What would be the option besides he’s just not into me enough?

    2)I know that I had luck in getting him to communicate with me again, but that was my end result desired. My end result desired was for him to communicate with me, and be in a committed relationship with me… so why have I failed each time with my full desire?

    I was talking to a psychic the other day and she told me that I’m too nice. That the next time he reaches out to me, I need to almost give an ultimatum that he can’t keep doing this to me, that I can’t have him keep inviting me places, and then disappear for 9 months? What are your thoughts on this Nina… is this how it works? Is that my problem that I’m too much of a pushover. He treats me poorly because he know I love him so much that he can?

    Thank you,

    Like

    1. I was in the middle of responding to you when you posted this so I’ll say it all here.
      However, when I answered Lyly, I was sure you would respond, too. I just had a feeling you would respond to it.
      1. The point is still that you don’t see yourself having it/notice that he isn’t with you. Even if you made sense of his behavior, it would still be up to you to change your feelings. I know it’s tempting to think that if he told you what was missing, you could give it to him but would he really be able to tell you WHY? It doesn’t matter why or what he thinks, what matters is that you feel love for him which will make him feel love for you. Heart energy is great for that. For all these reasons, it only matters that you feel love. Even if you knew what he thought, you would interpret it in one way while he would maybe explain it differently or not know how to explain it. Love it all that matters, it doesn’t matter why you love him and not someone else, just that you do 🙂 In the same way, it doesn’t matter what he thinks isn’t enough but when you feel enough, he will feel that you are. Your perception of why he’s absent from your life could translate into his views in many ways but you either feel that you’re with someone or not. It’s quite simple and honestly, it doesn’t really matter why you both feel the way you do. Just that you feel love 🙂
      2. Every time you got any communication from him, you started to expect HOW the relationship should happen. You would ask me why he wouldn’t make the move when you were having so much fun but the problem is, you noticed his proposal to be a couple missing and it was making you feel sad to think that he wasn’t asking to take things further. You had an idea of how things should go which made you feel bad. This was why you expected that he would make specific moves once you were communicating again and because he didn’t, you were sad. This is also natural to feel but it is important to allow things to happen. It is important to let go of all expectations of how it should go and just love that it’s yours – then, it all comes together in the most amazing way.
      There is something that catches my attention in the last thing you asked. What I do think is happening is that he senses that you “need” him to be happy. If he thinks you are happier with him than you are without him, he won’t be as attracted as you’d like because he’ll sense that you can only have a good time with him while you are sad without him. We are attracted to people who don’t need us and are happy with or without us. When someone seems to need you to be happy and can’t stay happy without you, you don’t look at them with admiration. Does that make sense?
      Thank you for your fantastic expectation of the book, I am so close now but have added a few things to it the other day. It will be online shortly 😀
      Keep listening to the audios, he knows his stuff and audios tend to be effective 🙂

      Like

      1. Thank you Nina. One last question for today although I know you might already be enjoying your weekend 🙂

        You said that I just need to feel love. I guess I already felt that I did feel love. What’s the difference with what I’m feeling, do the occasional feelings of being hurt or missing him ruin everything?

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      2. They can only set you back IF they ruin your mood because it might take a while to lift yourself up again, and in order to manifest, you gotta feel good 🙂 However, as soon as you feel good, you attract.

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  14. LyLy

    If there is anyone that understands just a little bit more, its me. Your situation compared to mine to most people would seem like a breeze. I have a lot of factors there (that I am not paying attention to anymore because they don’t bother me, but just for the sake of posting this I will slip a bit)

    You at-least have someone who doesn’t try to avoid you based on irrational fears and other people beliefs systems (its funny even to write that now because it seems so foreign to me, i know those factors were there 😉 but I just shook my head a little because it makes no sense to me anymore, meaning those are NOT factors anymore because I have what I want. I hope that makes sense?

    It feels way better to be in the space of acting as if and sending the heart energy and not putting any thought into the how, why, when etc, etc.

    Do you have to decide a part of the brain to choose or could you just not rationalize any of it anymore, ever? Could you change your entire life to make it look like he is with you now and then just get on with whatever you like to do and not even wonder when or how it will come about? Unwavering faith.

    You’ve lost faith. Thats all. And again if anyone can understand that its me again. I constantly get asked everyday WHY i don’t work as a clairvoyant anymore and the only way to stop people from asking me is to say “because it doesn’t make me happy and 99.9% of the people never really wanted the help in the first place. They wanted someone else to do the work for them instead of going within, that’s why they perpetuated the same experience over and over again in their lives in all areas.

    Also I’ve seen a few people mention psychics. As someone who worked as a clairvoyant for 33 years (yep since I was 5 i was predicting) I highly recommend NOT going to any psychics or clairvoyants because you create your reality. When they tell you its not going to work you make it happen. You cant ignore all outer factors if you are asking psychics about it because you are already in the space of not believing you have it.

    I’ve sent so much heart energy in the last week that I cant remember all the factors that were effecting my actualizing process that I used to rant on about here. Now i feel only love.

    Anyway you know I have been where you are. Ive had 2 major ranting sessions on here and then a few words from nina and i got it and everything slipped away.

    I hope I’ve helped in someway. Don’t overthink it. Just Believe. ❤

    Like

    1. Hi there doll 🙂 thank you for your uplifting reply. You’re right it boils down to me having lost faith. It’s interesting though I’m quite level headed about it, I’m not heartbroken or sad or angry but I’m definitely at ‘ well LoA doesn’t work for specific person manifestation ‘ – maybe it’s a cop out, subconsciously my desire to go back to when it was simple and I didn’t know anything about manifestation – life felt like it just happened and you kind of dealt with the cards you were given- ignorance truly was bliss.

      When I sit and feel the relationship, I can literally see his face in front of me and it’s as real as you and I having this conversation. But I’m day dreaming, imagining things and granted everything begins imagined, everything doesn’t manifest from it – otherwise we would live in a world where unicorns and dinosaurs walk in our backyard – there is some form of scientific limitation to what can be manifested though the escape feels great while it lasts.

      I don’t have faith in many things in general, too logical to believe whole heartedly in magic although l love the idea – some people have it all but I think they were dealt better cards and just roll with it because that is their reality they don’t expect anything to go wrong , loa definitely applies here.

      I don’t know maybe I’m wrong, and I don’t mean to burst anyone’s bubble- I mean it worked for lightline, Nina is a master at this stuff … We all different talents , I’m not sure this is one of mine regardless of how much I believe it I just … Don’t think it’s enough.

      Even Neville said it I have to look for it but he says he attended weddings where the woman was adamant about one person but ended up marrying someone else and couldn’t face Neville because he had told them not to focus on the man but the end result of a happy relationship – something like that.

      I just don’t want to wake up years from now stuck still trying to create some magic out of thin air .. And though I don’t want to give up either I think it might be time to grow up and be realistic … Unwavering faith was a lot easier as a child.

      Mind you what you said about the psychic influence is interesting : last year I was told we would marry and be together for a long time and he was a great guy albeit a little shy and emotionally fragile, this year I was told he was an ass who had substance abuse issues and was only good for no strings attached and I should find someone older. You’d think they were talking about 2 different people, but then again last year I thought he was the best thing ever, now I’m not so sure – maybe That’s the link ?

      Like

      1. Gretta, Lyly!

        First Gretta, amazing that you shifted well, so amazingly haha
        Keep riding that wave!

        Lyly, let me do the same for you, I did for Gretta, maybe Gretta can confirm here that it helped her in combination with that amazing power of her heart energy 🙂

        Positive things you should be grateful for:
        – You FEEL the relationship!!! –> you can feel him, everything
        Remember! Thoughts/Feelings create reality

        So basically you affirming above everything else, is also your reality! Even if you say it’s not working. I know I sometimes do that rather unconsciously, like telling yourself “I am so stupid”, when you did something wrong, but it was very obvious how to do it. Don’t you know that situation?

        So for the rest this is your reality: (I just repeat what you say, correct me if I am wrong)
        – Literally: ” well LoA doesn’t work for specific person manifestation ”
        – You don’t have faith in manifesting in general
        – Some people manifest better because they have better cards, but not you
        – You think you can’t believe enough and it’s just not working for you
        – You are stuck
        – You are TRYING to create
        – Children are better with believing
        – You are told: “this year I was told he was an ass who had substance abuse issues and was only good for no strings attached and I should find someone older” –> it’s just a reflection

        Now turn this around, and focus on what you want.

        Just stop thinking everything is so hard and you are stuck. You creating exactly that.
        How about stop TRYING to get that seemingly “big thing” you want to manifest and just playing around.

        I used to built up my skills, by just seeing things, like “today I’m gonna see a blue dog”, I visualize and I will see it 100%! I could literally speed up this from 2 days down to maybe 2 hours or right away. And then built it up, I added a second “sense”: hearing. I asked for a specific singer to come to me in any way, but I didnt want to see his picture. The same day, my coworker came up to me started to sing his song to me, I’m like WTF.
        Then I added running into specific people. I ran into the same singer three times in a row in three days, at the gym, in a random park!, and then the third day I had to take a picture for her haha And then create situations or anything you want. Really see it like a game.

        Lyly, I don’t wanna spill our private messages, but you told me about randomly sending heart energy. This is what came to me yesterday. If you are not doing this on autopilot, it’s not gonna work a 100%, because you will put too much pressure on it. It’s like singing 😉 If you don’t practice how you form you mouth, tongue, etc. your body won’t remember and you will always sing incorrectly. Or e.g. we know, if you fall down, for instance you slip because it’s icy outside, and you fall on your palms, you probably gonna break your wrists. At least it’s much more likely to happen, because your wrists can’t support your whole body, but if you fall on your whole underarms (is this the word???) you will not hurt your bones, maybe only your skin a bit. But be honest, in case you slip you most likely use your wrists. You have to practice this, so in case of emergency you really fall on the right part of your arm. If you just have this knowledge you’re not gonna do it correctly, you needa do this till you’re doing it on autopilot. Does that make sense????

        What do you guys think about everything?

        And btw. I can’t lose faith, it’s inked above my heart… Literally haha (Okay that was a bad joke :P)

        Like

      2. Bless your wise self RS 🙂 everything you said is absolutely true and valid. Though I have also been affirming the opposite for a while and that didn’t change my reality so I’m not sure doing the opposite does anything ether.

        The good thing about where I am is that i think whether positive or negative it won’t change anything. There’s relief in that too. I know general consensus is thoughts become things and it’s possible, but what if it was just sheer decision making, what if what you’re really doing is setting a goal and repeating it often enough that you’re making things happen – at least when it comes to manifesting things. You think the universe is delivering but really you’re doing it all by making different decisions and focusing on different things because those are what you’re looking for.

        And that would be why manifesting a specific person is so difficult, because the variables don’t depend on only you , going general however allows you to look at different options and making things happen : you’re more outgoing, you are open to meeting people and putting yourself out there raising your number game. And of course the more people you meet the more chances you have of someone being a match.

        When you focus on one person – you limit yourself to one source, one outcome seriously diminishing your odds without guarantee. Sometimes it will work, but you can’t force yourself down someone’s throat.

        I do believe in energy in the sense some people feel off and others don’t and lightline said it well saying forget God and just focus on the energetic aspect. Some people like you some don’t, I know some guys who really would love a shot at being with me, I’m sure they’re genuine and care about me – I wouldn’t be with them for anything because I just don’t feel that way and I don’t think that would change unless some miracle magically made me change my mind. And somewhere I think my resistance makes them want it more… Which fascinates me : they basically want it because I don’t and in nature opposites attract ( like doesn’t actually attract like, they repel in the quantum sense).

        So maybe I’m bent on this guy because he’s not, maybe it’s the typical wanting something because we can’t have it- I care about him a lot, I’m not sure why but I don’t think my thinking will magically make him want to spend the rest of his life with me – biology, chemistry definitely …

        Might just be me, it might work for everyone else 🙂 you’re still young and have the ability to train that muscle as you say. I have been working on this for almost 10 years – I have seen it work and seen it not work and in the end id say it’s 50/50 … So I don’t know for a fact it’s LOA mastery or just life and it’s idiosyncrasies.

        Thank you for this beautifully written post though and taking the time to point out the story in my head – you’re absolutely right that’s what I’m affirming but I also think I do so because it’s the truth and I no longer want to delude myself in believing fairy tales 🙂

        Like

  15. [audio src="http://innercircleproducts.com/mmlessonsgift/manifesting_mastery_74.mp3" /]

    If this link doesn’t work its on the first page above.

    Like

    1. Thank you Gretta 🙂 the comments were very interesting – I also always thought asking how was was trying to figure out the part that’s not yours to figure but I can see why or how it can be helpful to shift 🙂

      Like

  16. “Choose an image you would like to express. Feel you are that image. So appropriate it that it must come forth in your world of shadows. Do that and you are praying, for prayer is your own wonderful human imagination, drenched with feeling. I could tell you story after story after story of those who have drenched themselves with the feeling of having their desire, and getting it.”

    “Feel the wedding ring, if that is your desire. Feel the thrill of applause, or the joy of a child in your arms. Anything is possible if you can FEEL IT; but if you are going to use reason it will never happen, because failure becomes your image. You don’t realize it but there are two of you, and it is your deeper self that tells you it can’t happen.” – Neville Goddard

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    1. Bless you Gretta 🙂 for taking the time to share these with me, that last paragraph resonated ‘ if you’re going to use your reason it will never happen, because failure becomes your image. You don’t realize there are two of you and it is your deeper self that tells you it can’t happen’ – jackpot right there – that is exactly what is happening… And unfortunately my deeper self is louder than ever …

      Like

  17. LyLy Read above link. Smash the logical mind / reasoning out for good.

    Yep I knew when I read that one it was for you. The reason bit etc.

    Like

  18. Hi Nina,

    I might have missed your response to the question about the conversation I had with a psychic: She had told me that I’m too nice. That the next time he reaches out to me, I need to almost give an ultimatum that he can’t keep doing this to me, that I can’t have him keep inviting me places, and then disappear for 9 months?

    What are your thoughts on this Nina… is this how it works? Is that my problem that I’m too much of a pushover. He treats me poorly because he know I love him so much that he can? Do you think I should make an ultimatum next time I’m with him?

    Thank you,
    C

    Like

    1. I think he mirrors the way you feel about yourself. You feel like no matter what you do, it isn’t good enough and that makes you feel bad. If YOU don’t value yourself, others can’t either. It sounds like you feel that he isn’t treating you as he should but you allow it because you feel that you love him too much and don’t want to stay away from him. However, YOU come first in your life 🙂 Make it a priority to do what makes you feel good and to allow others to treat you only as it makes you feel good.

      Like

      1. I think that means you agree. Does it need to be an ultimatum then?…. Maybe not even going with him next time he invites me?

        Like

      2. I would suggest that you only agree to what makes you feel good. LoA is about following your true good feelings.
        If you don’t want to go next time, don’t. If you do, go ahead but only get “involved” with him as much as it makes you feel good. If it makes you feel good to admit your feelings, you can even do that.
        Never force yourself to do anything you don’t want to do just so he would approve of you.
        This can be easy once you decide that you are most important to yourself and that you respect yourself completely which means only engaging in what makes you feel good in life without worrying about what anyone thinks. Once you enjoy self-respect and self-love, you will know what you deserve.
        Right now, the problem is that you are looking for the right thing to say to him in order to make him come around but the point is that you love and respect yourself so that you stop needing his or anyone else’s approval. Then, actions will come naturally, based on what makes you feel good. And then, you will spend time with him when you want to, in the amount you want to but will if you feel uncomfortable agreeing to something, you will refuse. You will be happy with yourself, stop needing him and then, things will go completely differently.

        Like

      3. If you feel like you are doing what you don’t want to and agreeing to what you don’t want to just so he would realize he wants to be with you, stop. You have to put yourself first and your own good feelings first. If you agree to what you don’t want just so he would be in your life, it’ll be hard to manifest a relationship with him because doing this makes you feel bad and then, he can’t feel good about you either.

        Like

  19. I think I understand what you are telling me. The part that I get conflicted on is that I’m always so happy to spend time with him. We always do something fun and our chemistry and interaction is always so positive at first. It’s when he doesn’t make plans to see me again or to really make a move towards a relationship that I get hurt. That’s why I don’t know how to handle it because it seems like in the end he gets what he wants and I don’t. I do love the time together, I just wish he wouldn’t disconnect from me later.

    The difference is that your advice emphasizes feeling I already have what I want. If I already believe I have what I want , it will come to me. I’m just curious if you think telling him that I won’t accept the way he acts after anymore is necessary or will help?

    Thanks for all of your help Nina
    C

    Like

    1. It will only help if you feel good expressing it – that’s how I handle all my relationship conversations. I feel good when I express how I feel calmly and without negative feelings about the man I’m with but expressing it to him because I genuinely want to feel positive and avoid doing something negative.
      I have often been the one to even make the initial moves because I feel so free expressing what I want and talk to people the way I want to, knowing they want to talk to me. However, people very often approach me as well – there are no rules but when you are open to it, things just happen. You just have to know what makes you feel comfortable. However, honestly is something that should always be present and you should never agree to anything you don’t want to and pretend you want it.

      Like

      1. Thanks Nina. The truth is that I’ve been feeling a lot better the past week, but still feeling stuck with regards to manifesting the relationship.

        However, the feedback you’ve given me and our conversation here has helped me i think to identify an area of resistance. The thing is, I think that there is a part of me that fears that after everything that has happened, If I love myself more, it means that I wouldn’t want a relationship with him. How could a woman who loves herself keep going back to a guy that was not mean to her, but didn’t show her enough love to treat her the way she deserves.

        I also have never wanted to be the woman or be in a relationship where I would have to issue an ultimatum. It feels like that is a relationship without true love. If a guy needs to be warned to not to behave a certain way anymore, to me that feels like I would be manipulating him into a relationship.

        i don’t need to be chased by any means, but I want my relationship to be one with mutual love and adoration. Respect and commitment to each other. He includes me in all areas of his life because he trusts me so much and loves being around me. He invites me on all of his vacations and we always make arrangements to see each other, regardless if we live on opposite coasts or not. I make him happier than he’s ever been, and he makes me happy too. He also makes me feel secure and confident because his actions demonstrate his love and commitment to me. We have great communication, and we speak to each other all of the time. Our conversations are fun, and they create great understanding between us. We love being with each other’s families, and we enjoy making each other happy.

        The thought of all of that makes me feel so happy

        Like

      2. Great, just focus on what makes you happy 🙂 Your reply here was very honest but if you want to be happy with yourself and bring out the best in him, you will have the man you deserve in him. Just as long as you believe that this is possible 🙂 You can love someone just as they are, which will allow them to shine but it has to be pure love. I don’t think you’re disrespecting yourself if you love someone who is flawed but the treatment you agree to shows the respect you have for YOURSELF. When you set an example for yourself of how you deserve to be treated by treating yourself the way you deserve, your behavior will change and he will treat you the same. However, don’t think about how that’s going to happen – just love yourself.

        Like

  20. Hi Lightline,

    You are my inspiration too. Feel good reading your posts. Looking for more of them 🙂

    I have self doubts too – Why am I bothered when he is not or may be he wants a different person. However I am drawn to think we are for each other. I do believe we can achieve things that we want. Imagination is the biggest power humans have and Universe/God helps manifest anything we desire with true heart.

    Like

  21. I feel a lump in my throat when I think about him. Is that a bad thing? I can’t breath completely when I do think about him – there’s no relief its like something is stopping me. I want to change my attitude as its a sign that I am restricting? I want to master this law of attraction as I believe in it.

    Like

    1. Hi,

      Thanks for the beautiful words that I have been manifesting since the time I intended it. I am inspiration to fee, doesn’t matter what area!! 😀

      During initial days, I used to feel the same way. It was because I wasn’t able to take my focus off the reality i.e. he was far from me. I didn’t understand that first. But like you, I knew it is something which was less-than-goo-feeling and I had to make peace with it.. I tried to read my thoughts that was causing it , thought I didn’t want so I could understand what I wanted. This is the process: Know what you want – Intend – try to capture the feeling – it will lead you to visualizations – affirm in present tense and feel each affirmation – let the reality BE . Keep doing it …

      I don’t think I master the process at all. But I know how it works and I remind myself. http://www.abeforum.com/showthread.php?29264-The-new-and-improved-Go-General-INCLUDING-Grid-Setting/page4Also I practice sending heart energy like Nina says and feel good about everything. I have started practising saying good things to myself while looking at myself in the mirror. I used to affirm it but saying this to yourself in mirror is totally different. A little odd too. But I’ll do it to see how it is different from affirmation…

      Having said all that, I still come across contrasts, I feel less-than-good at times and I have reacted a few times. But that doesn’t feel good and I KNOW I have to change it…

      Telling you it’s like preparing for exam everyday but in a good way… LOL

      Love & Light

      Like

      1. Nina…
        Hii…
        Sometimes i feel distracted what i m doing is correct or not… n reality hurts me alot .. i feel like irritated n aggressive with all d situations wen i see my bf with another girl.. somehow i used to convince myself dat.. he is still attached with me emotionally n mentally . But can you help me out to visualize positive in my relation . I seriously want him back … n i want our strong bonding … but he talks with me in very rude way. N i feel helpless dat time.. n again come in depression.

        Like

      2. If you offer resistance to him being with someone else, you are automatically resisting YOU being with him. Everything you feel reflects back to how you feel about yourself. The key is to realize that the current reality is irrelevant because you are getting what you want. Believe in yourself! If you want him back, you can decide that none of this matters and that you are getting what you want. Your thoughts and feelings about your ideal relationship with him must be happy and then, they will be strong so that you can stop focusing on your current reality. You have to decide that you can do this and make your life happy now so that you could attract even more happiness, including him, into it. You know that once you are with him, none of this will matter. None of the past will matter.

        Like

      3. Thankew nina for ur reply…he accepted dat he still loves me.. he is still attached with me.. emotionally or mentally.. bt he dont wants to come back.. and now i m nt getting any clue how to reach to him.. or take any steps .. i m very impatient … n coz of dat… i m nt be able to stable my mind. As well meditate n think positive… or feel gud. I love to talk to other guys.. or fliRt with dem .. hope dis will not make any type of blockage in getting back to boyfriend.

        Like

    1. Hii nina… lightline…,

      After long time… i m replying to u guys.. kshama dis side.. some how i m on a right track … to getting my boy back… n he also belives in loa …,
      Through his friend i somehow managed to share dis link (personal approach to getting ur ex back) withhim. I thought if he also wants me back .. in dat case.
      His friend is helping me out … by keeping the touch with him about his emotions .. hw he is feeling n all… some time i got very good n positive response n some time it was totally negative response.
      In middle i was bsy with my carreer & family so i was not be able to send him heart energy. Or love energy… i was visualizing the things with him… but all of sudden again i m getting negative response as a proof.
      I m positive most of the time… trying good affirmations also. Most of the time having good mood also. But still i m not getting good vibrations as i was getting before.
      Xactly he is not giving any responses to his friend regarding … not reacting any thing .
      Please help me out.

      Like

      1. I think you slightly depend on some kind of physical proof but the key is to believe without seeing the physical proof. Believe you can have it and that it’ll happen, he’ll respond because you want you two to be together and happy 🙂

        Like

      2. Nina…
        Hii…
        Sometimes i feel distracted what i m doing is correct or not… n reality hurts me alot .. i feel like irritated n aggressive with all d situations wen i see my bf with another girl.. somehow i used to convince myself dat.. he is still attached with me emotionally n mentally . But can you help me out to visualize positive in my relation . I seriously want him back … n i want our strong bonding … but he talks with me in very rude way. N i feel helpless dat time.. n again come in depression.

        Like

  22. I must say thanks to you all and LoA. I was reading one of the posts who said they asked universe if they were doing the right thing by pursuing their desire and let the universe show a sign or something to say it was right to do so. She asked for some sort of correspondence from the person she desired. Its effected me too as I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing for me so I asked the universe to let the guy contact me in some way as a sign for me. I also gave a day as deadline for this even though I didn’t want to let go of it. In my case he doesn’t want any relationship and wants to stop contacted me the same day sending me a text message. It must mean something. I don’t see the real reason why he must do that but just LoA work. I think I will pursue this and thank you everyone, Nina for this blog.

    Like

  23. Nina,

    I have another question. As I said my guy doesn’t want another relationship as his failed previously. The way he talks shows that he doesn’t want another. But I feel we will be together. Will he really want to be with me if I visualize and feel him everyday?

    Like

  24. Hi Nina,

    So, as I had mentioned to you, I manifested another trip with my guy. I’m actually currently still on it. It started great… We had a couple of days alone, and his mom actually joined us. That kind of changed the energy a bit because he hasn’t really told his mom about us. (He had even joked to people that he was auditioning me to see if I would be a match as his wife )

    Well, my energy and vibration changed and as you can imagine so did he 😦

    My question is how do I raise my vibration back up since we are currently together so I can’t take a lot of time to meditate or do Brandon martins tapes? I’m struggling a bit to get back up right now

    Thx, C

    Like

    1. Hello dear 🙂 I am so sorry I hadn’t answered earlier but I was finishing the book which is now available and would have been sooner but I was held back by some things even though everything is OK now(I will write it all out in a post today) 😀

      When I read your post about the trip, I knew you would tell me that things between you improved! Even in that post, you already sounded happier, steady and full of belief. You sounded different.

      Right now, I would say use gratitude. Think of how much everything has already improved and remember that you just KNOW things will continue to improve. Be grateful for everything and everything you want to manifest in terms of your relationship, as if you have received it already 🙂

      Also, not making a big deal out of the events that happened is important. Don’t have any specific expectations for every time you spend time together, just an overall idea of what you’re going to manifest with him. It doesn’t matter what he told or didn’t tell his mom because that depends on many factors, not just his feelings for you. A little patience goes a long way. You can manifest him telling his parents about you proudly in the near future.

      I know you can do this!

      Like

      1. Hi Nina,

        Thank you and I missed you while you were gone. I think this is something that made me feel weird about my guy and now I just feel sad. So, it was pretty strange, but a female friend of his that lives here that I’m pretty sure she likes him. Anyhow, yesterday he told me he was going to stop in at work today for a bit (his job is here twenty % of The time). I thought ir was star he because we are on vacation. Well as we laying in bed a message popped up this morning saying he had a meeting with her. (They don’t work together ). I felt that it was off because it was the time he was going to work. I don’t think anything is going on between them ( maybe I’m wrong) but I got a little concerned because he lied and I don’t like it.

        Is it my vibration that is causing all of these things to happen or is he a Bad guy that lies ?

        How do I know? I have this nervous feeling all the time and I don’t know how to find my strength again

        Thank you,
        c

        Like

      2. These things or any other events happen because your belief that you two are going to be together isn’t there so you keep thinking he is seeing other people which prevents you from believing. I think you have an idea of HOW things should happen and you allow every single step in the process to dictate your belief which you then change based on the outcome of those events. You must decide what you want to manifest and only stick to that, believing that things would work out and knowing that the relationship is yours. Right now, you are reaffirming that you don’t believe so you keep thinking that he’s seeing other people. Whether or not he is doesn’t matter and won’t matter especially once you start to stick to your belief xx

        Like

  25. Sorry, I also forgot to add one thing. Both Brandon Martin and Lanie Stevens kind of seem to say that trying to get a guy that has never shown you full commitment is pointless. You can get the guy for a while but after that he will go back to his old ways if he’s not truly in love with you. This worries me because it seems to have been the pattern with this guy? What are your thoughts on that ?

    Like

    1. If a pattern happens, it happens because of your own perception of the relationship which you can always change if you can actually believe that manifesting what you want is possible. And, you CAN believe 🙂

      Like

      1. Happy to. Don’t let him basically dictate your mood. You CAN be happy NOW because you love him, beyond his momentary behaviors, and you know that you are going to manifest what you want!

        Like

  26. Do you have an affirmations that you would recommend for my situation ? I already bought your book and look forward to reading it when I have some privacy

    Like

    1. Thank you so much, I appreciate it greatly 🙂
      I would say, “Thank You for our love.” If you say it just once, you will be able to imagine what it’s like to have that love!

      Like

      1. Hi Nina, what are your recommendations as far as actions. I know that for thoughts you would say to focus on what we want and ignore reality.

        But what about when I’ve manifested something negative already. Like him hanging out with other people, or telling me that we are just friends and not in a relationship… How should you react in reality… Or do you recommend not saying anything ?

        Like

      2. I only suggest taking the action you feel good about and only because you feel good about it. So, say what you want to say because it would make you good to say it, not because you want to get something out of him by saying that. Doing what makes you feel good will make you happy!

        Like

  27. Hi Nina, so I guess I set myself back a bit. We talked last night because things totally changed after he got upset at me because he had made plans to go to an event and I got jealous. I told him that I didn’t want to control him and that I knew my reaction was wrong. I just couldn’t recover. He wasn’t mad, but I don’t think he will be the same with me on this trip and my heart is so disappointed now. I listened to what you said about not letting him dictate how I feel, and I did my best to remain strong but everything has changed. I think I really realized this time what I’ve been doing wrong. But now, I don’t know how to change it and even though it doesn’t hurt as much as before, it still doesn’t feel great. I feel him so disconnected and aloof. He also reiterated to me that he only sees me as a friend and that he just doesn’t feel that strong pull for a relationship.

    I have tried so much to change my beliefs and love myself more. I think I made progress but then all this happened.

    I really wish I could cry right now but I don’t want him to see that. I also just wish I could be with my mom right now.

    I keep thinking that part in Lanie Stevens book where she said that if its not true love, you will exhaust yourself with LoA because the specific person will alwsys revert back if they dont truly love you

    Like

  28. Hi Nina,

    I’m going through a bit of an emotional roller coaster right now so I apologize for all of the writing. I’m just feeling very confused. The first few days together were amazing and I pretty much felt happier than ever. He was affectionate, kissing me in front of his friends, taking pictures together, joking with people that I’m his wife-to-be or test wife. We just joked around and really had a great time.

    Then my energy dropped and he started acting different and its like I’m on a trip with a different person who has told me once again that he cares for me greatly but just feel that strong of a pull the way a man feels when he can’t live with someone. That and the late night texting with other girls (couldn’t see the messages but saw a girls name) just makes me feel like he is a whole other person and it makes me feel hurt and shamed that I love him.

    I don’t get it… Was I just seeing what I wanted to see earlier ? Was it my imagination ? Maybe he is just so playful that he acts that way always and I’m taking it as romantic gestures ?

    I need help because I’m so confused on this whole thing. I know you may have started your weekend already but if you by any chance see this message early enough please let me know what I should do

    Thank you,

    Like

    1. Everything is and was real – you feeling good and good things happening and then, you starting to feel bad and things changing.
      Forgive yourself for this change in your mood/vibration and don’t fear ruining it all. If you fear it, events in your life will reflect that fear. Don’t be so hard on yourself – just believe that you can have it because you deserve it.
      You have a tendency to beat yourself up over the negative events with him, have gotten used to them always following the good so it keeps repeating. Tell yourself that you are stronger than everything around you and that you are getting what you want. Then, just be at peace, be happy or simply relax. Do something YOU wanna do, not what he wants.
      Our goal is that you start to see yourself as deserving so don’t beat yourself up over what’s happening. Do what makes you feel good. If you want to go home, you can. But instead of worrying abt him, think abt what would make YOU feel good ❤

      Like

      1. You didn’t but it means you attracted situations in which you take his actions badly. Or, he does one thing that displeases you but it kills your mood because you’re used to that.

        Like

  29. Hi C

    I hope you dont mind me commenting but I saw this;

    ‘I keep thinking that part in Lanie Stevens book where she said that if its not true love, you will exhaust yourself with LoA because the specific person will always revert back if they dont truly love you.’

    I dont think you believe and I think you want to make the above two authors RIGHT.

    Stop listening and reading stuff by these people. There is another ‘famous’ LOA person that says you cant manifest someone you want. I am proof that they are wrong. I have manifested everyone I wanted in the past and this one is in the process right now. Don’t read anything negative anymore. Just read Nina’s book or some Neville Goddard or Joseph Murphy. There are a lot of LOA ‘experts’ out there forcing THEIR beliefs of what is possible onto other people, that’s THEIR opinion and shows THEIR lack of belief in attracting in that specific area.

    And this;

    “Both Brandon Martin and Lanie Stevens kind of seem to say that trying to get a guy that has never shown you full commitment is pointless. You can get the guy for a while but after that he will go back to his old ways if he’s not truly in love with you. This worries me because it seems to have been the pattern with this guy?”

    Both Brandon and Lanie sound like their are projecting onto others. Maybe they need to read the book ‘The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers” because they ARE projecting.

    If you are worried and keep thinking about what they are saying that is what you are manifesting and you will make them right. You will find within yourself that you have all the same traits that your man does also. You may not be able to consciously see it but it IS there. Please if you have time and a few spare dollars download the book and integrate these parts that are popping up and manifesting into your reality. I guarantee you will NEVER see another outburst or emotional post from me again towards my guy because of this guy.

    You also keep calling this guy a player. This is a quote from the book. “When you are affected by someones behavior its a projection of our own disowned qualities. The key to understand is that there is nothing we can see or perceive that we are not. If we did not possess a certain quality we could not recognize it in another.” If that offends you or makes you feel uncomfortable or your automatic response is to say “i am not a player, ever have been or ever will be’ the book will show you how you are and have been and could be in the future.

    You can find the book on Amazon. Please consider reading it asap. ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DID THIS WORK FROM THE BOOK MANIFESTED WHAT THEY WANTED AFTER INTEGRATING THEIR SHADOW SIDE.

    Love to you.

    G x

    Like

    1. Gretta/C
      I agree with the quote because it all comes back to personal beliefs. His behavior is causing a problem because C, you have negative beliefs about yourself. You might not be a player like you think he is but maybe you fear being a player in an emotional sense, knowing you are asking him for something just to gain your own satisfaction?
      What matters is your beliefs. It doesn’t matter how many LoA and relationship coaches feel differently, it only matters that you still don’t believe which is why you keep looking for stories and “proof” from other writers and coaches. Some say you can and it feels good to you. Others say you can’t, you start rethinking and you stay in this comfort zone of not believing fully.
      Brandon’s work is great in many ways but just allow it to teach you how to be in a happy relationship and what that entails – he does that very well. He doesn’t teach LoA. Thing is, some women MIGHT give up and others won’t but that part is on you. Some women will give up on some men, that part is true, but only you decide if you’re gonna manifest or give up. We want you to believe and let go to manifest.
      If you believe in success, you will see it. However, relationship coaches don’t decide your beliefs but the truth is, the belief must be there first. And for that, you have all my writing and many stories. I always manifested being with specific people.
      WHY do you think he’s a player? Why do you never believe you can make him feel the love you want him to feel? That’s what matters. It doesn’t matter what other ppl say – only what your reaction to their words says about your beliefs.

      Like

      1. Hi Nina & Gretta,

        Thank you both again for the feedback.

        Gretta,

        I totally agree that most, if not all of the time, the issues we have with other people are either reflections of ourselves or our own issues. I don’t think in this case that I feel like I’m a player necessarily, but I do think it’s possible I feel guilt about other things. If anything, I most likely see more of a reflection of myself with the women I worry about that are trying to take him away. Since he had a gf before, maybe I think they are trying to be with him, just like I was trying to manifest with him. I also do have pretty intense insecurity and fear of men cheating and especially in ways that are particularly humiliating. It happened pretty badly when I was in college.

        I guess my confusion is at what point is something happening because of LoA and at what point is it because of who the person is? Is this all subjective and changeable? When things are good with this guy, I feel on top of the world. When they are bad, my whole body hurts and nothing feels good.

        In my affirmations what should I write to change my pattern ? This time we will get together and stay together ?

        What are your thoughts Nina?

        Like

  30. Hi C

    Just one more thing.

    I have seen you mention a few times the word “player”

    Here is the Pono Prayer again.

    Spirit, Subconscious, Superconscious, please locate the origin of my feelings, thoughts of (__________fill in the blank with your belief, feeling, thoughts________).

    (And say this
    “My belief that XXXX (his name) is a player and wants to hurt me.”
    Just put ANY thoughts feelings and beliefs in there that applies to this situation with this guy or this entire situation.)

    Take each and every level, layer, area and aspect of my being to this origin. Analyze it and resolve it perfectly with God’s truth.

    Come through all generations of time and eternity. Healing every incident and its appendages based on the origin.

    Please do it according to God’s will until I am at the present. Filled with light and truth.

    God’s peace and love, forgiveness of myself for my incorrect perceptions. Forgiveness of every person, place, circumstances and event which contributed to this, these feelings thoughts.

    Say it 4 times out loud with some force.
    x

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Hi C

    This – “I don’t think in this case that I feel like I’m a player necessarily, but I do think it’s possible I feel guilt about other things.’

    You may not commit the same acts that a player would commit such as cheating or multiple partners or texting a lot of people at once, but think back on times in your life when you ‘played’ something a certain way to maybe get something you want, it will be there. With the book The Dark Side of The Light Chasers you will see that the same trait is there within you, but you haven’t necessarily committed the same act that the person for example in college did or what you perceive your man might be doing with texting other girls. Does that make sense? If not let me explain it. I had to look at myself in the first few exercises to see where I had treated people the way that this guy used to treat me and I found it, all the way back in grade 8 when a boy liked me and I avoided him and wasn’t nice to him and in fact said similar things to him that my guy used to say to me. Yes, I was just a kid, but as I looked back into my life I found that I shared the exact same traits as what my guy was doing to me now back in my past. So for me to say I would never treat someone like that was a lie, i found it in my past. Debbie Ford gets you to also see how you could also have the same trait as a certain person in the future and the answer is always yes, that you could in the future display the same traits. We all share ALL the human trait. Every single one of them. There is an example in the book of how a father attended one of her courses because he kept calling his son a liar. She got him to look at himself and see all the times that he had lied. This man said he had NEVER lied in his life. Debbie asked him what about your tax returns? The man smiled and said “That’s a different kind of lie!’ See what I mean?

    If you do the prayer include these. I wish I could show you a list of the last 3 months of all the traits and beliefs my roommate and I did. If you want I will put them up. You may feel spaced out when you remove the belief, we always did. Combining DSOTLC book and Pono is just amazing.

    I dont know if you remember in one of my many emotional train wreck posts I kept asking why he was reading my messages and not answering and my belief was that he just wanted to hurt me and I did Pono on my belief that he just wants to hurt me and now I don’t and haven’t felt that ever again.

    You mentioned above; ‘I also do have pretty intense insecurity and fear of men cheating and especially in ways that are particularly humiliating. It happened pretty badly when I was in college.

    “My feelings, thoughts and belief that other women are trying to take XXX away from me”
    “My feelings, thoughts and belief that I will loose XXX’
    “My feelings, thoughts and belief that everyone wants to hurt me” – (You may not consciously believe it, but you dont know what your subconscious has stored.)
    “My thoughts and feelings and fear of being abandoned.”
    “My belief that everyone abandons me.”
    “My thoughts and feelings of intense insecurity.”
    “My belief that I am insecure.”
    “My thoughts and feelings of fear and my belief that all men are cheaters” – (Again you may not believe that all men are, but you dont know whats going on in your subconscious.)
    “My thoughts and feelings of humiliation.”

    You can also include the name of the person in the past separately to the above statements. Say my, for example, humiliation, anger, hurt, hate towards XXX from college.

    Now that you can see how I set out how to insert it into the prayer, you can find your own other things that are bothering you and insert them into the Prayer. Just try it. I would be interested to see how you feel after doing that above list one after the other.

    Try all those, 4 times out loud, inserted into the prayer (see above) 4 times each for each line.

    Love x

    Like

    1. Yes, ill definitely look into that side of it too. I know that I have definitely also felt bad in the past when I didn’t treat people the best too and in contrast, I can see how some of my behavior with him was similar to theirs with me.

      Thank you for your help Gretta and I’m so happy to know you are feeling much better

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Hi C

    I forgot to add a few lines to insert into the prayer… Try and hit it from every angle, that’s what we used to do.

    “My feelings and thoughts of guilt.”
    “My belief that I am guilty.”
    “My feeling and thoughts of shame.”
    “My belief that I am shameful.”
    “My feelings and thoughts of not being able to trust myself or anyone else”
    “My belief that people can’t be trusted.”
    ‘My thoughts and feelings of not trusting XXX (insert your mans name here)
    “My belief that XXX (insert his name here) cant be trusted.”

    You can put anything into the prayer, there is no wrong way of doing it. Watch how all those fears and insecurities vanish.

    with love x

    Like

  33. I’m finding it difficult to let go of my desire.. I seem to be attached to my desire. I don’t wish to initiate contact this time as it just proves I’m being restless again. It’s difficult to visualise but not get attached to my desires. It’s just impossible to me. I like coming on this blog and reading everyone’s methods/ ways of manifestation as I feel I’m not alone in this journey. But again I find myself thinking a lot about it which is not right to do so. How do I tackle this problem ?

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    1. Letting go is easy when you KNOW your desire belongs to you so making a decision it’s yours and sticking to it leads to letting go 🙂 You can think about HAVING your desire and how much you love it, love living it, what you do with it in your life… Your belief in your desire and your abilities will give you thoughts of living your desire. Believe that what you want is going to happen ❤

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      1. I don’t know how to express happiness or emotions I do believe I can live my desire but I just can’t seem to feel all the love emotions. I have deleted his number from my phone to stop thinking about texting and just focus on myself. I can imagine having my desire already but I am not sure if I can feel the happiness I just know its going to happen. I feel relaxed about it. Still I have already manifested meeting him and had such nice time so now I know I can manifest him contacting me first this time and my ultimate goal of living a happy and fun life with him.

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      2. You can ask for your desire and then, focus on anything that makes you happy 😀 You can think and do whatever makes you happy and attract him – you don’t have to force yourself to think about him. If you feel relaxed about him, that’s enough, it’s perfect.

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  34. Hi Nina,

    I’ve started reading your book and there has been something that has been on my mind since this whole week went a little awry on me.

    From your book “Love makes us happy and produces good feelings which are the strongest creational energy. We naturally gravitate towards the things we love. We naturally gravitate towards the things that make us the happiest.”

    This really made me think. I obviously have had moments of happiness with my guy. But there have been quite a few of pain and hurt. I still work on love and heart energy, but what would you recommend to someone like me that has had legitimate moments where the person they love hurt them. I know you told me not to let him dictate my mood or how I feel. I want to work on that, but how do I stop from the feeling the sadness when he does those things or I see legitimate things that should concern me (updating or checking his dating apps, being overly flirtatious with other girls, cheating, etc) obviously seeing those things will make me feel sad or hurt because I care about him

    Is there something you would recommend I say to myself when I start feeling that reaction?

    I told myself ” I am happy and loved and that things will happen because I asked “. Those help when I’m away from him and not seeing things, but not when we’re together and I see things I don’t like

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    1. One last part to my question here. Why does he keep going to other women or I feel threatened by other woman. Is that simply my self love? His love of me is a reflection of how I feel about myself ?

      Anything I can affirm on that end ?

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      1. It is a lack of self love – you believe it’s more likely that he goes onto others than you.
        If you visualize what you want instead of noticing the “reality,” you will produce what you want ❤

        Like

    2. Right now, you generally associate him with negative personal feelings more than you do with the positive.
      I would say that relying on your decision that you’re going to get your desired reality with him is the answer. Stick to your belief and you must believe. Maybe you think that you would believe if he behaved the way you think he should but belief comes from within, not from his behavior. Changes happen in moments and if you stick with a belief, he could change in a mere moment and come for you.
      If you believe that things will change and you will get what you want, you will stop caring about anything that is happening now.
      Loving yourself will help you both believe and remember how many happy things you already have in life besides him 😀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Is there anything you recommend I say to myself in those moments when I’ve fallen and manifested a negative situation? Like when he is telling me I’m just a friend, or I see flirtation with a girl, etc? I find maintaining my good feelings in those moments difficult.

        Also, when we were saying goodbye to each other in the airport, he just went for a hug. I went for a kiss but he kind of pushed away. Obviously that action makes me feel like my desired reality is not there. What can I say to myself there too in that moment?

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      2. Persist in believing that it’ll come together but don’t try to rush it. Belief is a conscious choice. Belief can even make you a happier person. If you can remove the impatience, it’ll all come together soon xx

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      3. The words are less important than feeling good because you believe but if there are any to say, say “Thank you” and keep believing in your goal instead of the current reality.

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  35. Hi Nina..

    For the past weeks, I’ve been having positive feelings and beleve that my desire of having a new relationship with my ex will manifest. I experience what you say, positive feelings attracts positive things. I manifest some job offers, a new person contacted me and we have a great conversation flowing for the past 2 weeks. And I’m grateful for that, giving thanks to the Universe every single day for what I receive.

    But.. sometimes when I manifest my desire, this one girl (his colleague) popped up in my head. I think this becomes my resistance. Several times I tried to calm down and put believe that it’s not true. Today, suddenly after a long time, I had the urge to contact him. I’m not sure at first and keep asking myself ‘should I really do this?’. Then once I made up my mind, I contacted him.

    He then said that he is getting close with his colleague and just want to let me know. It’s just 2 months since we’ve broken up though. But when I think it through, I guess it’s my resistance that made this is happening, it’s what I’m afraid of. The fear that I can’t overcome.. when I heard him saying that, surprisingly I wasn’t shocked and sad, I’m more like ‘wow’. Deep down I still believe that I deserve him and we will be together.

    The strange thing is l, I responded to him calmly asking ‘u like her?’ and he answered ‘yea.. i know it’s so fast.. etc etc’. I didn’t asked him anything else, but he kept on telling me he doesn’t care if I or others talk bad about him, telling things about him and this girl. And suddenly getting upset at me because I said I don’t care about it and I talked about his mom’s health. It feels like he was trying to explain to me while I’m not asking. I feel funny afterwards, because it’s like he was trying so much to tell me about his relationship with this girl.. when he got upset all by himself, I feel like he still have feeling for me, that’s why he got upset. Haha.

    But I’m thankful I contacted him and he let me know about this girl, because I can make sure to myself whether I still want to get back with him. And yes I’m 100% sure I still want to manifest a loving relationship with him.

    I express my gratitude of what happened today, and asked the Universe again for giving me a loving relationship with my man, I believe we are meant together. But, Nina.. sometimes her face suddenly comes up in my mind, what should I do about it so I can let go completely? What should I ask the Universe, is it okay to reconfirm my desire?

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    1. I think you feared him meeting someone else because you were used to the two of you being in a relationship and for the past two months, you’ve been apart which is an entirely different thing to get used to and it made you fear the two of you sort of distancing from one another.
      You only need to remember what it was like to live a relationship with him.
      If you just kept thinking about the way your relationship used to be but as if it were like that once again, you would manifest it once again. We get what we focus on so you could simply relive all those happy moments in your mind 🙂 Relive the times when it was just the two of you, your committed relationship, a great love, and you will be able to believe that it’s going to happen again. Then, think about how it happened, as if it did already – he contacted you because he wanted you back (or, any other scenario you want) 🙂
      And to answer the other comment you made – you can manifest him contacting you first once again 🙂

      Like

  36. Hi nina,

    I have a question about asking the universe/God for my relationship. How do I ask… Do I say please have me be in a romantic relationship with my specific person? Do i also have to ask for the specifics of the relationship… ” he treats me well. I make him so happy. We love spending time together” or can I just list those in my relationship list

    Second question. I would really like to see my guy for a holiday that is coming up in a few weeks here in the states in a few weeks. In fact, I’ve been putting off making other plans hoping I will hear from him and we will be together. I remember you used to have a post about manifesting seeing someone on a specific night. How would I go about doing this?

    Like

    1. I would say, “I want/I want to be…” and then, “Thank You that I am…” when affirming that it’s mine as soon as I have asked 🙂 (Both of these are step 2).

      You can think about the specifics when you ask and every time after that when you affirm that it’s yours 🙂

      I know I promised to repost that article and I will. When I manifested seeing someone on a specific night (the time I did it and described it on the blog), I felt a strong desire and conviction that it was happening. I kept pushing that conviction into reality, thinking that since I asked, it must happen because it was time, I wanted it and I was 100% ready for it so a miracle had to happen.

      Then, it did.

      Like

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