Do you ever think about the perception of yourself some people seem to hold? Not that it matters; we are looking at this just for fun.
Or…does the perception of you held by others ever upset you?
This may have happened rarely overall but at one point, it happened several consecutive times. Some would see me as overly kind or a “good girl” simply because I was willing to help people, work very hard when I loved my job or simply agreed to be in a relationship with someone who had the idea it would last forever without giving me enough reason to want to stay. Those misconceptions ended as soon as these individuals displayed such behaviors. As soon as they hinted at overstepping boundaries, I would fire back. Then, they were confused; having had a different picture in their mind, they didn’t know what to do when suddenly having to show integrity. I never kept in touch with most of them – spending even a minute with downers whose goal is to not feel better but stay in their negative comfort zone instead is a waste of life. However, I always wished them well. These individuals need compassion more than anything else.
Does this sound familiar to you?
I have once quit working for someone who expected me to work full time for insufficient compensation. When I refused and quit, this person was shocked but why would anyone have to do that? Nobody does and by disagreeing, in addition to it being a job offer I didn’t love, I remained true to myself.
I swiftly ended most of my relationships as soon as I didn’t enjoy them anymore. One of my closest friends once said, matter-of-factly, that most people vocalize their issues with a relationship, give things a chance to turn around but I didn’t and always left instead. However, she did say that some attempt to “resolve issues” not out of love but out of attachment, habit and the fear of being alone. I always knew that someone wasn’t “it” just before I left, proven by the fact that I never went back.
Today, I find myself choosing kind but truly confident men, those who are comfortable with themselves and grateful for everything they have. And I am proud of myself for it. I don’t have the will to choose men who are kind but seem to need another to build them up – I want a complete, confident person. I always felt good about myself but do so even more as the years go by so maybe that has something to do with it.
Those who truly love their exes find a way back to them. The examples above were just my situations. You have to know yourself. You also have to know that things don’t go the same way for all of us – your life depends on your beliefs. However, anyone can improve their beliefs and manifest the life they want.
Most of the time I left, my exes knew I couldn’t appreciate them because they didn’t fully appreciate themselves. Feeling insecure is one thing but allowing it to dictate your life and relationship is quite another. Self-love is enough to turn yourself and your life around.
You cannot use another for your personal happiness – you have to enjoy it before you can share it with them.
These are just several examples showing how completeness, self confidence and perception create our lives and relationships.