This post first appeared on my (first) blog, https://improvingconfidence.wordpress.com/
I continuously encounter individuals who believe a great relationship is something they are entitled to.
A great relationship is something everyone deserves, just like any other blessing in life. Everyone deserves to experience happiness but those that receive it have in fact earned it with their positive mindsets, respect for others and gratitude for their lives.
Everyone deserves it but a positive individual earns it, allowing a happy relationship to come into their reality.
On the other hand, those projecting negative energy (be it frustration, desperation, negative self-image, impatience, rudeness or general dissatisfaction) are continuously preventing what they deserve, a great relationship in this case, to appear in their lives.
You get what you give; genuine appreciation for life, your own and those of others, ensures you will receive an abundance of goodness in return. You merely need to find that appreciation.
The idea of an amazing relationship being earned holds truth but requires explanation; stating this idea as simply as it looks in writing may evoke negative reactions instead of positive. One becomes worthy of a great relationship by viewing oneself in a positive light, focusing on everything they enjoy in life, respecting one’s unique qualities as well as the qualities of others and having personal integrity that ensures standing by one’s personal beliefs.
Many believe they must earn a great relationship by fulfilling requirements such as career success, a larger-than-life personality, financial wealth or being classically good looking. However, basic creation principles state that one’s beliefs create one’s awareness; for example, individuals who deeply believe they cannot earn a great relationship until they have a great job will encounter specific experiences reflecting those beliefs.
Truth is, the relationship you desire has nothing to do with your social status unless you decide to believe it. Those who stick to beliefs such as “Once I get a good job, I will have inner peace and be ready for a relationship” will most likely find that the job, the relationship and the inner peace continue to elude them. Postponing those experiences by masking them as future goals will ensure they remain distant goals, making it impossible to catch up to that “perfect future.”
Now, I am not saying your desires are irrelevant but for as long as you think “I’ll be confident once I have this,” you are creating a future goal that will always remain in the future. In reality, you must feel deserving of your goals now and be confident in yourself before you can obtain them.
Contrary to popular belief, relationships have nothing to do with your social status, level of wealth, professional success or your looks. When it comes to relationships, you merely need to be confident in the person you are. You need to draw your confidence from internal factors instead of external. You need to recognize your personal qualities, the beauty of your physical traits, your intelligence and gratitude for everything you have in life.
One of the best ways to earn a great relationship rests in developing self-confidence, self-comfort and self-acceptance.
Amplifying those character traits with a positive mindset will allow you to focus on everything you love in life instead of everything you are currently missing. If you focus on your positive traits, you will effortlessly focus on your (potential) partner’s positive traits, enjoying your relationship immensely and solving problems in it easily. Suddenly, you will come to realize relationships were intended to be easy and enjoyable instead of being a constant ego battle between opposing sides. If you have an eye on a potential partner, you will be encouraged to communicate with them as you have recognized your own qualities while appreciating them for theirs. You will realize how much there is to be liked about you!
If you believe your looks are insufficient to evoke attraction in another, you will project an unhappy demeanor, tension and insecurity. The best part is, you can decide to focus on the aspects of your appearance you like instead. You can appreciate your beauty instead of focusing on the reasons it is less than perfect. This positive energy will evoke even more of the same, allowing you to feel increasingly great about yourself.
Ultimately, is there a real reason you should feel negatively about your appearance? Everyone holds a different idea of what beauty means. More importantly, we all respond to each other’s energy much stronger than any physical attributes – every time you were attracted someone who wasn’t your “type” proves that.
Do you compare yourself to others? This is another mistake which can prevent you from receiving life’s goods. Do you believe you must match an ideal another specific person represents to you while considering anything “less” to be insufficient? This mindset only states your lack of appreciation for yourself, as you feel undeserving of love. Even if you think your (potential) partner only wants the ideal you have imagined him/her wanting, it doesn’t mean you’re right.
We all know the story – one perceives their desired partner to be “too good for me.” “He/She is out of my league,” they imagine, never making a move or deeming themselves worthy. This thought process is perpetuated until the object of their affection meets someone else.
There are plenty of similar examples. However, it all comes down to the following.
Searching for the reasons to postpone living a happy relationship only shows that you doubt your own value. If recognizing the said value undoubtedly ensures finding a great relationship, what is the point of feeling inadequate?