Your Awareness Comes First and Your Thoughts Second – A Guide to Uncovering Your Happy Self

Do you have a problem feeling good about yourself no matter what you have or, don’t?

Is this you?

  • When you think thoughts of having your desire, you always end up back in the same old negative place after a little while.
  • Your fears keep coming back even when the current reality starts to turn into everything you have asked for.
  • You always assume that things will go wrong at some point.
  • No matter what you do or how much you manifest, you just don’t feel “right.”

There is a difference between feeling good about having your desire and feeling good about yourself.

If you don’t feel good about you, you run the risk of manifesting your desire but not keeping it in your life. Feeling poorly about yourself can prevent you from seeing yourself living your desire permanently, even if you can see yourself receiving it initially.

Let’s face it – self work is the part many attempt to skip, pushing themselves to believe their desire belongs to them instead of repeating affirmations about themselves in addition to their desire.

And why is that part important?

You are supposed to feel good about both yourself and your desire. If you don’t feel good about yourself without your desire, you won’t even after it manifests. This is the biggest reason your desire cannot fix your life or your awareness – only you can do that!

Many also attempt to skip over the self-work part due to the impatience to manifest their desire as soon as possible. However, they continue to feel poorly, blaming the lack of their desire for this state of mind when in reality, the state of mind itself is the problem.

Your decisions about your life come first. Your awareness comes first and your thoughts second. This is why you can face your negative thoughts and say, “No! I asked for what I want and that is what I must receive.”

You must start to rely on your conscious decisions and insist on them instead of your uninvited negative thoughts. This is the reason why you can say, “I asked for my desire and that is what I must receive.”

You can ignore those negative thoughts because only you consciously decide who you are and how you live your life. You decide what makes you happy. By ignoring these thoughts and saying yes to your conscious decisions and nothing else (or, less), you are respecting yourself. You are only accepting what you want.

What to do…?

After coming to realize that your awareness and conscious decisions come first and your thoughts second, you are to focus on every bit of positivity you feel about yourself. You are to tell yourself why you deserve your desire.

Then, you are to start to finally be happy without your desire. When you have a problem being happy, you are advised to examine why instead of think about your desire.

Are you trying to tell yourself that you want something but ignoring your true nature and needs in reality? You need to face those first.

If you know that there is a part of you which is unhappy no matter what, ask yourself why. Ask yourself what it is you honestly want.

If you want something that you don’t want to want, admit that you want it any way. At least in part, admit to yourself that you might want other things than your desire, even only occasionally. After facing those thoughts, you will get to know yourself and you might just change your mind, realizing your desire is enough after all.

Never chase the idea of living a specific life but think about the kind of life that makes you truly happy. If you want to manifest something just for show or just to prove your power to yourself, it’s not worth it. To manifest, you must feel good and if you are simply trying to fulfil your needs, you are not feeling good.

It is time to focus on living your life instead.

What is it that makes you happy? Do it. Put yourself first, not your desire. Putting yourself first equals feeling good so if you must resolve your lack of happiness with yourself and admit to yourself why it is there, do it.

Be important enough to yourself to do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better, even when it takes profound self honesty. Face yourself and remember that no matter what you find, you are worthy of love and can start to give it.

18 thoughts on “Your Awareness Comes First and Your Thoughts Second – A Guide to Uncovering Your Happy Self

  1. Hi Nina, thank you for another great article that reaaly hit home. I have a question for you about timing because it’s caused a lot of confusion for me.

    I’ve found for me, that when I put pressure on time, it has the opposite effect mostly causing more delays etc

    However, I have something that really confuses me. So, I want to be with my guy, spend a lot of time with him, share our lives together, and take trips together. However, i want to do those things now. As neville has written like he did in his example of wanting a trip to Barbados, you or someone else really needs to believe it will happen. Abdullah held the faith that it would happen and it did. Neville didn’t need to make plans for anything else.

    In my case I”m always trying to make the trip happen, us being together, not making other plans that could conflict with that happening, and unfortunately, i’ve ended up alone, and not doing anything fun for New Years now for five years or for any holidays really. I want to believe, but I’ve been disappointed so many times.

    My question is I want to do the things that make me happy. But, what would make me happiest is to spend that time with him, having fun together. How can I really make this happen and have faith that it will, instead of me being stuck with no plans at the end of the day because I was hoping to spend it with him.

    Can you help me? I cried writing this and I didn’t expect to. It really released a lot of emotion in me because of the upcomin holidays.

    Thank you Nina,


    1. You are supposed to imagine having that now, not trying to “make it happen now.” It has to be a done deal to you and you’re supposed to imagine having that now, not trying to make it happen. Instead of hoping, you must feel like it’s yours, like you spend every day with him and be grateful for it. Visualize it like it’s your life right now.


      1. Thank you Nina and Celalove


        I guess what I mean is that I feel that if we were together, part of what I would manifest is that we share our lives together and we are always together on special holidays like my birthday and New Years.

        In Neville’s example he wanted to be with his family so he had to act as if by not talking about anything that would contradict that. So, if I want us to be a couple and share our lives together and be together, I feel that making plans by myself contradicts that…. But then I end up by myself with no plans. Does that make sense Nina? I’m not sure if my question was clear before I got emotional while I was writing it.

        Thank you,


      2. Hi C… don’t focus so hard on the holidays and planning trips in my case in current reality we are not together YET. .. but I just feel we are and I picture us doing happy things and places we use to love. I remember our holidays together and smile and say to myself it’s on its way our love is growing more and more we will have plenty of holidays together and let it go.. I dont book trips because we are not together in reality I mean I have to be honest with myself like I said in my previous post I dont pretend we are and plan a trip because I know it’s not going to happen but it’s so hard to explain C.. plan the trip in your mind and heart think of the places you guys are going to go when he comes in your life.. 💜 and picture a place and think happy thoughts and smile and let go.. plan in your mind and know when the universe sets the time he will come in your life. I have done this and it helps me.. for example my bday- is coming I would love to see him I am planning a day with family and friends I said God you know me desire if it’s your will to have there let it be if it’s not time yet for us I trust your timing it’s worth the wait.. Good luck just be happy and don’t stress yourself like Nina says that is negative resistance you will just get more of it.. God bless..


    2. HI i am no expert but with all the teachings and knowledge I come to realize and I read a book by Keli cooper it’s called “Acting as if “… she explains clearly and where I was so confused. We read so much and so many teachers they say act as if .. acting as if is not pretending something you are when you’re actually not. Acting as if is be the way and feel as if your man was in your life… NOW. . Happy confident, Strong ,no negative thinking … I learned I was always focusing on little things like holidays and bdays I wanted to spend with him but lIke Nina says and many wonderful teachers focus on the end.. and mine is us being married. . Do you want trips ? Or do you want to spend your life with him. . ( THANK YOU Nina I remember you posted that one time)… if I visualize us doing something fun i smile and say thank you god.. I learned not to to try so hard and force myself to visualize to get GOD To Move because THAT IS SHOWING signs of lack and your getting more lack.. thanKS again nina..😊 As for me right now by acting as if.. is really not acting.. I’m happy I’m confident sexy wife that he loves a wife that trust him because if that’s what I want and asked for I have to believe that I am.. so be strong like Nina says and we truly have to let go in our minds and negative thinking. . Focus on the End not force to yourself know God heard you and it’s on the way during this time of waiting ( bUT don’t wait work on yourself like Nina says. Elizabeth Michaels once said you have to be happy now where you are in order to be happy on where you want to be.. I hope this helps .. once again big shout out thanks Nina..

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello, Nina! I’d like to say that your work here is simply amazing! I don’t have words to say how much your articles/posts/thoughts/insights have helped me. I’m trying to purchase your book, but I’m having some problems with the site.

    Well, I was ready to give up manifesting my ex girlfriend back but I decided to come back here once again and, the thing is, EVERY POST and response I read here seems to be made for me, as if they were written and timed so I would see what I need to see to keep going, like I wonder about something and BANG, there’s the answer on my face! And I go like “OMG, this is happening, the site is TALKING to me, look at all these signs, what the…” I’m so inspired! Thank you for that!

    So I have some questions about this process of being happy and manifesting my relationship back. I truly appreciate any answer you can give me:

    1- I think I didn’t fully grasp the heart energy concept, could you explain it for me, please?

    2- Should I use good memories of the time when the relationship was awesome to create the feeling of having her now? Like, there’s this trip we made and it was marvelous. Should I evoke those images in my mind so the Universe will “understand” that I want more of this with her, or would the Universe just interpret those memories just as memories “from the past, period!”, nothing else? I mean, do memories have the power to recreate themselves in present?

    3- I like to imagine that I’m sleeping with her in my arms and imagine giving her a massage, caressing her, getting intimate, etc, like “remote seduction style”. And I like to imagine that she’s receiving that energy and thinking about me wherever she is as I visualize it. But do you think she really feels it and thinks about me when I do this, or this serves only to raise my vibration, and she would keep doing whatever, without feeling a thing, as if nothing has ever happened to her?

    4- As a couple we have a “magic number” and when we broke up this number started to show up everywhere for me. Almost everytime I look at a clock I see it, “coincidentally”. That made me miss her even more, but now I decided to assume that everytime I see that number it means that she’s thinking about me and feeling our connection. As I asked before, is that really possible (she really thinks about me) or would it be just a fantasy to keep me feeling good, nothing else?

    Thank you, Nina! For real! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello! 😀
      Thank you so much for your amazing words!
      Let’s get to work! 😀
      1. Heart energy means awakening the emotions that literally cause you to feel warm in your heart area. Feeling vibrant energy in the heart area of your body and once you do, sending it to your desire while being sure that your heart energy is touching it, is a powerful way of attraction that allows you to feel love and nothing less. Think about being happy with your specific person and then, feel your heart awaken with energy. After that, imagine that this energy is touching her, that you are sending this energy to her and that she is being attracted to you as a result. You will feel immediate love and connection 🙂
      2. Memories absolutely have the power to recreate themselves. They can do so strongly and effortlessly, as you are remembering something that was once a reality and as you remember it, you can feel that they’re a reality again which can attract them again!
      3. Sending energy is about what you BELIEVE is possible, just like any other part of LoA. If you believe that heart energy is attracting her to you, it is. Or, any other positive energy. I can tell you I’ve done it with people in the past.
      4. YES!! It is possible! And if you feel good while thinking it, it’s all happening even faster. But you must believe it. Believe in miracles – they happen every day 🙂
      I’m happy to help 🙂 You can do this!
      When it comes to the book, see which Amazon your country of residence falls under and if in doubt, search on There is also a page on my blog called Books and on it, you will find various links for Amazon UK, Australia, India etc.. Thank you for your interest in the book 🙂


      1. I understand! Thank you, Nina, for your answer! 🙂

        This gave my a doubt: when I’m thinking about her, should these thoughts and feelings feel like “natural”, like “it’s ok, I have her back and that’s fine” or something like winning the lottery, like “OMG, SHE’S BACK!!! IT’S TRUE!!!” – I don’t know whether I made me clear hahahah, but that’s my doubt.

        Sometimes when I go to sleep, I pretend she’s by my side, hugging me. How should I deal with that thought?


  3. Hi Nina and all😊

    Hope that you are well. I want to have a better understanding of visualisation and how one would go about meditating on their affirmations.

    Yesterday I wrote a list of the qualities/traits that I would like for my ex to portray, in the present tense. I really felt so good about it. In order to manifest him back into my life, is it necessary for me to visualise and meditate everyday or should I do it once and detach myself from the outcome. I’m a bit confused! Will he feel the pangs of my love if I’m not visualising and sending him heart energy everyday? I really want him back Nina and I hate how I miss him at times and become very depressed as a result. I know that you advised me to act like we’re back together but it gets tough at times. I even want him to reach out at least.

    Please help!!!

    Anyone is also welcome to advise!


  4. I’m so upset Nina *sobs* why did he have to leave me and when I needed him the most. Sometimes I find it hard to forgive him for what he did to me and I keep on relapsing when I think about how he still refuses to talk to me and how his sister was rude to me when we first met in person and how she convinced him to leave me. I resent her too. I love him so much but when I think about he hurt me so much and still blocked me 3 weeks back for the 3rd time, it made me fearful and depressed. How much more pain can one inflict onto someone like this*sobs* I know deep in my heart that he is my soul mate and I genuinely love him but how do I forgive him? I even wonder if he thinks about me at all cause I send him heart energy whenever I’m feeling positive. How do I use the law of attraction to rekindle our love? and have him pursue me again without me having to come across like I’m forcing matters! I’m scared and broke Nina and I need guidance.


    1. In order to see the two of you living a happy life, you must forgive both yourself and him for this hurt because in order to create something new, you must overcome what happened in the past. Accept that everyone makes mistakes and be ready to forgive and see yourself living the life you want with him. Believe and be ready to start over. Also, when you send heart energy, be grateful that it’s touching him and believe that it does.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.