I’ve always wanted to be someone that makes other people think,
“I’m also choosing to be happy! I want it to be that easy! Life is beautiful!”
Your casual Law of Attraction blog.
I’ve always wanted to be someone that makes other people think,
“I’m also choosing to be happy! I want it to be that easy! Life is beautiful!”
When you transform the core of your personality to positive, to being a positive individual, your periods of succumbing to annoyance naturally last briefly.
As a positive person, I can tell you that this is true. I might spend a day annoyed at someone about something but the next day, two days at most, I will see that it wasn’t as bad as I had perceived it and learn to understand the other side – I will see that it wasn’t the big deal I had gotten irritated about (and it only gets easier with age! Says I. At thirty two.).
For example, you might have that one friend whom you chose to talk about your work several times by now but he or she always gives an answer completely unrelated to your question. It’s like this person doesn’t even listen or is only interested in sounding smart even though they have no idea what they’re talking about. How would they, when they repeat and answer what you never actually said? You know how insecure this person is yet you know their insecurity should not be getting the best of your friendship because that is neither truly tolerant nor fair to you. Do yourself a favour and instead (or, regardless) of being annoyed with yourself for even being friends with someone so exhaustively insecure, step away from this relationship for a (little) while. This person probably cannot handle being around confident people so take your confidence elsewhere, at least in part; you could either take some space or still spend time with this person but maybe stop talking to them about work in this case, sticking to the subjects that usually produce positive communication between the two of you instead. It’s all up to you and what you want.
See what I mean? I’m pretty sure many will be able to relate to this example.
If you do make an exit, do it quietly because causing an argument would make you feel rotten even though you are right for taking some time away from this person. Be nice and walk away. You have the right to seek out new friendships that suit you better.
Profound insecurity brings damage to your life, happiness, well being and the lives of those around you. Whereas this type of insecurity is common and nothing to be judged, especially considering the beliefs one’s family and close ones might have been feeding them consistently during childhood, at some point we must realize that as adults, we are responsible for our own happiness. No matter what we’ve been through, holding onto personal displeasure is going to lead to an unhappy life.
Thing is, a person who is positive to the core naturally either steps away or doesn’t even have a reaction to an occurrence like this until they have been annoyed enough times to finally react. Which of the people mentioned above do you wish to be? You have all the positivity you need in you already. Your friend will continue to let their insecurity lead them and you will have moved away and onto much more positive individuals; adding people like these to your life will not go unnoticed by those attempting to downplay your success, especially as they gradually find themselves becoming phased out. I am not saying you should exclude anyone you care about from your life but I am saying that people subconsciously move away from those who bring down their mood. This puts manifesting in perspective, doesn’t it? Negativity keeps all the things you want away while positivity brings them to you. This is also why your desire to manifest a relationship with someone you feel negatively about keeps that person away from you, even if you don’t live near them or see them often; energy works on an invisible level and our feelings can’t be seen or touched even though the way they are felt shapes our realities.
Just like that, you can attract anyone from anywhere into your life simply by nurturing positive, loving sentiments about them…and positive individuals find themselves effortlessly positive when it comes to those who appeal to them.
And that’s how it goes. Positivity ignores annoyance and if you go out of your way to cause that annoyance, you might lose the presence of some positive individuals in your life. Even if you are a generally positive individual, harboring negative feelings about a particular person or aspect of life will only create problems. Don’t turn yourself into a negative person – focus on positive thinking and self-love, and you will find yourself attracting others easily.
Take your focus off “How long will it take to manifest?” and switch it to living life now!
If you’re waiting, you aren’t living life…and that is a mistake because life is worth living. You just have to find your inspiration and make it beautiful.
Fully ignoring your current reality and just thinking about your desired one is a technique in itself, if you ask me. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that I fully advocate ignoring the current reality (or if you seem to be unable to, turning every negative in it into a positive, i.e. “It’s good that I’m single now because I get to do all the things I enjoy but will have less time for once in a relationship” etc.) and if you can just ignore everything in front of you, your visualizations of the ideal will trickle down to your current reality in order to turn it into your ideal one.
Many have wondered how exactly to ignore their current realities, and the answer is…
Ignoring the current reality comes easy when one makes a habit of practicing self-love. Being unable to ignore the current reality happens when that reality strongly bothers you but self-love leads to “fixing” yourself and your current reality by extension.
See how that goes?
If you ever wondered why self-love is key, you just got the answers you were looking for.
Crazy as it sounds, the easiest way to ignore the current reality is to fill it with fun activities. That way, you just happily live and have fun while imagining your ideal reality but not missing it. You don’t even think about it – you just are.
Another way is to love your ideal reality so much that it even transforms your current reality. Even if you never did it, it can be done. I’ve done it. When you love your ideal reality that much, you begin to act as if you’re living it in your current. You start to transfer moods, mindsets and external factors. You begin to look and dress the part.
Now that you know how it works, use these exercises to create your new life.
When you’re faced with negative thoughts, do the following.
This is going to be quite a self-help-type blog post.
I’ve been thinking about obsession, manipulation and the need to attract attention (and, attraction) from the person one wants to manifest a relationship with rather than focusing on love. Sometimes, the need to be with someone and make a relationship happen with them can stand in the way of one’s ability to distinguish love from need which results in frustration over not achieving one’s goal of being with the person they desire. It can lead to one’s incessant questioning of themselves instead of self-belief.
Diving into relationships and knowing how to make the other person feel attached while I wasn’t was something I practised on a regular basis. I knew how to dazzle anyone I wanted to – that was me at my most immature. At one point, I was unsure where the manipulation ended and the love began even though my goal was always to reel someone in and simply run away after I was done with them.
That was me perceived by several exes I had broken up with.
The following is the truth.
I entered every relationship with the best intentions. I was loving and tolerant for as long as I was happy; I was loved up, mesmerized by the qualities of the man in question, including him in my life and ready to compromise when needed. I wanted to be mesmerized and I wanted for the other person to give as much as I did. They did for the most part but after they stopped (or, we both had), I knew it was because I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I knew what I had attracted. That lack of feelings was caused by our differences which had ultimately become a bigger deal to me than our love and that was when I would walk away. I just wanted to be happy as I always do but hadn’t found that special person to love entirely in any of those men. I wanted a man with qualities so amazing that I would focus on them and love him for them, his imperfections still included but nowhere near as strong as those qualities. I wanted someone special and none of those men were it. I would only stay with them for as long as I was happy.
Ultimately, isn’t that the goal? Finding the one that makes you happy and being happy with them? But when hurt feelings and a bruised ego get in the way, perceptions are ruled and fuelled by fears instead of conscious creation using positive feelings.
Have you noticed that many of your currently negative feelings rest in the current lack of attention you are experiencing from the person you want to manifest a relationship with?
How many times have you confused wanting to manifest love with a desire to actually manifest some temporary attention?
You know what I mean.
Attention is a quick fix. We’ve all thought it would help us and make us happier at one point or another; however, riding on a high from attention received ultimately leads to a temporary low after that attention is gone once again, even if just for a day. It’s an addiction. It isn’t love.
Love is permanent. When you focus on love instead of “how” someone should act to convince you they’re actually in love (a.k.a. shower you with the amount of attention you have imagined to be necessary), ideas and visualizations of a love-filled life come to you.
The exes who had called me all sorts of manipulative hadn’t focused on love at that point – they were obsessed with the amount of attention given and received which at that point was insufficient from both sides. However, I acknowledged there were always two sides to every problem, starting with my own – they acknowledged mainly my side of the problem, even when accepting their own, but according to them, it was somehow my responsibility to take care of both my feelings and their own damaged confidence.
I learned that I have no desire to build up someone’s confidence if they don’t want to do it for themselves to begin with. People make excuses for their insecurities all the time. If someone’s insecurities are getting the best of them and their actual qualities, it is not my job to remove those insecurities for them. Those who let their insecurities get in the way of their qualities just because they think that feelings should be expressed exactly as they think make for exhausting companions. These are the companions who want validation before or instead of love, and they want it to come from you instead of their inner peace.
Not to mention that the individuals who think about how things “should” go feel uncomfortable with the concept of a happy relationship and tend to find some strange comfort in unhappiness because that is what they are used to. It’s familiar to them. It’s easier. These are not bad or incompetent individuals, mind you. These are simply individuals who keep happy relationships from manifesting into their lives because they feel uncomfortable with them. They might feel undeserving of happiness or they might have just chosen a person who makes them feel uncomfortable but are not ready to admit it to themselves; either way, everyone who wants to be in a happy relationship must begin to feel entirely comfortable with the concept of having one.
There is a difference between lovingly imagining your relationship with the person you are crazy about and thinking about what they “should” be doing to show you how they feel; the former creates your desired reality while the latter causes frustration in your current (which is mainly the lack of the desired in the eye of the beholder).
If you are currently obsessed with a lack of attention received from the person you want to be with, focusing on your current reality or the attention is not love. You are not appreciating your life now, before your relationship manifests. You are also not appreciating your desired reality since you feel that you might not receive it. You are not appreciating yourself and everything you deserve.
Most importantly, you are not appreciating your current reality because you are not getting the attention, not love, you want as of this moment. You must begin to love yourself and give yourself the attention you deserve. Once you finally start to love yourself and realize that you don’t need someone else’s approval and attention to feel good, you will emit as much love as you feel and attract the people you want to you.
If some cleverly aimed attention weren’t enough to reel another person in, we wouldn’t be talking about it. How many times did you consider someone simply because they knew how to give attention, to make you interested? Well, interest is different than love and so are the types of attention that come with each concept.
Stop looking for current attention and temporary proof and focus on feeling love for yourself, your desired partner and your desired relationship instead. The right kind of attention will come from your free and undemanding feelings of love for another person; it will come when you start to love another for who they are and allow them to be themselves. Believe me.
Law of Attraction is one of the most natural concepts to use and the most difficult to understand; sticking to imagining that you have what you want already and being grateful that it’s yours is enough to believe and achieve.
Make the process easy on yourself and stick to its simplicity.
Thinking about the person you want to be instead of what is happening around you is going to allow you to enjoy your current reality instead of feeling that you are missing your desired one.
If you are struggling to stay happy in your current reality, you must start focusing on yourself.
The question is, what do you tend to base your self-confidence, your sense of personal value, on?
Some base their sense of personal value on their great family, job, social or financial status. In some cases, people know that these external factors will stay with them forever but what about those who base their sense of personal value on the world’s perception of their social status, the people in their life who build them up or pretty much anything they have instead of who they are, no matter what that is?
You might know your family isn’t that great but others think it is so you keep up appearances because you like the admiration you are getting.
Your family might be great so you base your sense of self-worth on having that family but what would you do if you suddenly didn’t have that family tomorrow? I’m not saying you won’t but would it make you any less worthy? Of course it wouldn’t but you might start to think that it does. You might already feel like you would have nothing if you didn’t have them anymore.
You might know that the work you do comes with as many (if not more) drawbacks as well as benefits yet everyone else seems to admire the perception of what you do so you pretend like it’s the most amazing job in the world. You like the validation so you let them think it’s just as good as it sounds.
Your relationship might not be making you happy anymore but many other people see it ideal in some way. You know that you would rather live a life of integrity than a lie but at the same time, shattering this image would feel additionally shocking to you because it would also shock so many other individuals.
There are numerous examples of this but they all signal the same thing – allowing external factors to be a source of your own confidence instead of the internal factors such as self-confidence based on being strong and positive, intelligent and internally attractive. That is who you are and the rest is merely what you have.
I am not saying that you will but losing any of these external factors at some point in life would cause you to feel like you lost a part of yourself if you based your self-worth on having them. True sense of self-worth is based on you – who you are, how you think, handle situations, solve problems and how worthy you feel of happiness – regardless of the external factors you may have.
Who you are decides on what you will end up having. Those who don’t take care of who they are risk clinging too hard on something that they have and then losing it. I am not saying that this will happen to you but once you start to rely on your own support instead of something that you have, life will become much easier! Once you start to rely on your own opinion alone, you will lighten up your own life and awareness, and inspire others to do the same (not to mention that focusing on yourself allows you to finally see what you want and not just what you like having in your life because it’s comfortable but doesn’t ignite any passion inside of you).
People tend to rely on the external factors because it’s easier that way…but what if those factors disappeared? What if tomorrow, you lost one of them or realized you never had it in the first place? That is why it is important to start focusing on yourself, even if you never lose any of these external factors. At the same time, if you already know that you are clinging onto some of these too hard, now is the perfect time to start focusing on yourself instead.
Common examples of lacking self-confidence due to the “right” external factors are:
There are so many more important things in life – much bigger and much more important. These are just the bad habits of society and insecure individuals which I am guessing you do not want to be.
Insecure individuals use society’s “standards” to feel better about themselves and then, they use you and your refusal to comply with those “standards” as a reason to put you down and falsely feel better about themselves for a few minutes; only they don’t realize that by trying to put you down, they are merely putting themselves down instead.
They cannot decide how you feel; only you can do that. However, they can be a great reminder of why one should never base their sense of self-worth on the external factors because these people are everywhere.
However, they’re irrelevant – it’s your sense of gain and loss that is the only relevant factor here.
When you gain true confidence, one that comes from you and your choices of feelings and actions based on who you are, you will already feel like you have everything.
Have you ever wondered where basing your confidence on external factors even came from and why it was accepted as a norm?
Wanting to base self-confidence on external factors is tempting because it is always a quick fix. Haven’t we all been tempted to feel this way at one point or another? The trick is to move away from this kind of thinking because it’s too easy and not in a good way.
It is too easy to let others decide on your life for you and that is why so many individuals accept it – they don’t have to make any decisions that way.
Decision making means personal responsibility which is still too much for some people to handle…but hey, who cares, right? It’s only their life we’re talking about.
If you should start to think of any change in your life as a small, solvable or temporary thing, you would automatically see that you, your optimism and your amazing spirit for living are above them.
I have been unsure of what I wanted to do in life. I have been unemployed and grown unhappy in some work engagements. I have given up on plenty of romantic relationships on their due date. I had to manifest my ideal body. I felt that my writing wasn’t good enough at times and I was bored with it at others. I had to work hard to become good at certain things, even if I wanted them. I was bored with the things I had more than once. I wanted a change more than once. But so what? Life was meant to serve me, not the other way around. When these feelings come up, some give up and others decide what they want instead.
What will you decide today?
If you focus on your happiness, you will make the choices that serve it but I can tell you right now that basing your happiness on yourself instead of what you have is always the right choice.
Even if your desire is to be admired, don’t be admired for what you have – be admired for who you are and inspire others to be themselves.