Being specific has its ups and downs. Then again, anything does.
In life, my actions always reflected a core belief of “I want this so I am going to have it – nothing else, nothing less!” which led me to certain manifestations that looked nothing like I had imagined.
Once upon a time in college, I wanted a specific internship. The company seemed goal-oriented in my specific taste and I was excited about the interview. I had already decided that I would get it and dressed up for the interview only to be disappointed as soon as I got there. The building wasn’t in the best shape, their offices were unappealing and the job description I had read was already altered. The interviewers were describing responsibilities not listed in the job description that sounded plain boring and I walked out of there motivated to find something else.
I thought to myself, “I would fall asleep on the job every day if I had to work here!” And it would have probably been more exciting.
Upon my return to campus, I asked about some additional internship options and was told of another one. However, this company’s executive had already been to campus to conduct some interviews and left. One of the candidates he had interviewed was a friend of mine who wanted that position like I wanted my first choice before actually seeing what it looked like, and I didn’t expect a call at first. However, something was telling me to keep an open mind. I just had a feeling they would call me anyway.
About an hour later, the phone rang. It was the executive who had been to campus asking me to come in for an interview. He heard there was another candidate on campus interested in them, as I had listed them last minute, and wanted to meet. I agreed and found out that I would be interviewed by him and another female executive.
Two days later, reaching their offices proved to be a positive experience and the job position sounded as great as it did on paper. I was offered the position on the spot; however, I told them I wanted to interview with the last company I had put down on my list of internship options first. That final interview was scheduled the following day and I promised to call them straight after. Later that evening, I sat down with a friend who wanted the job I was offered and told him about the offer and that I wanted to take it. I wanted him to hear it from me. Being a wonderfully heartfelt person, he was fully supportive and even said he didn’t expect to get the job himself because the interview hadn’t gone as fascinatingly as he had thought it would. This friend of mine ended up getting a job in the first company I interviewed for and performed it with absolute ease whereas I am sure I would have done it poorly.
The next day, I skipped the final interview and called my new bosses to tell them I was accepting their offer. Apparently, they’d been on pins and needles waiting for my call. The job I skipped interviewing for that morning went to another friend of mine who loved it and wanted it for herself whereas I was only planning to go out of principle (and missed it out of that same principle in the end).
Deciding that I wanted something specific without finding out too much about it first hadn’t bothered me even when it turned out like this. I always thought that no matter how much I knew something or someone, I could always change my mind later anyway…or not. Time never meant too much to me in these cases, as I never viewed it as a sign of security in my feelings.
If the fact is that I could always change my mind, no matter how much I know (we all can), why not dive in from the beginning? Why not follow my good feelings, even if I change my mind tomorrow?
If I waited until deciding that something was either right for me or not before making a move, nothing would ever happen. Also, sometimes you simply must try to decide. If I’m not sure about wanting to try it, I usually don’t or at least wait until the moment I do. If I know immediately, great. If I know that I’ll never be interested in something no matter how much I tried, I move onto something else. However, I move with my feelings. If I want something but then change my mind, I know that changing my mind will last for a while if not forever. I know these things because that is who I am – each one of us is a different blend of awareness, wishes and preferences, and it is of utmost importance to not judge yourself for changing your mind when you do. You’re allowed to!
Being specific sometimes shows me that what I thought I wanted isn’t exactly what I had imagined and sometimes, that’s a good thing. It can be even better than you imagined! But at other times, it isn’t as good so you change your mind. This is completely normal but many have been conditioned to see it as a problem or a sign of immaturity when in fact it is a common factor in life.
If had I said that I would wait until after the interviews before deciding which of these internships I wanted, it wouldn’t have changed anything. I would have ended up in the exact same place. The goal is what’s important and when it comes to successful manifestation, it is all about focusing on one’s end goal and never worrying about the way everything will unfold.
The moment I felt that the company I ended up working for was going to call, I had made a decision to work for them. Even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time, I had made that decision. I had attracted working for them and didn’t worry about how everything happen which caused it to unfold in the most amazing way. That is the basis of Law of Attraction – keep it light, stay positive and feel good but be calm and certain.