Be grateful for anything that makes you happy, whether or not you’ve attracted it already.
Gratitude for what you want, as if you have received it already, attracts it straight to you.
Just imagine being there.
Your casual Law of Attraction blog.
Be grateful for anything that makes you happy, whether or not you’ve attracted it already.
Gratitude for what you want, as if you have received it already, attracts it straight to you.
Just imagine being there.
What do you do if the person you are not yourself around is the person you want to attract a relationship with?
We have all known someone like that, usually in a romantic sense. We have all been involved with a person who has upset or hurt us, resulting in our future interactions being filled with reactions from confusion and a damaged sense of pride when all we wanted to do was relax and be our best selves. We have all been involved with the people who had this effect on us but whether or not we chose to stay in those involvements was entirely up to us.
Choosing to stick around someone who makes you feel this way or use all your strength to walk away from them is a reflection of your personality, awareness, and, most importantly, your level of self-confidence. You might think you don’t deserve better or that the other person does so you feel the need to stick around until you figure out how to give them what you believe they deserve. You think that giving them what you feel they should have would make you happy but the flaw to this plan rests in the idea of putting them ahead of yourself.
A healthy relationship is about balance and equality, not about engaging in emotional compliance. However, particularly strong feelings for another person might cause you to engage in it without them ever asking you to, causing you to fall into codependence of your own making. This type of emotional state comes from the fear of losing what you have and the need to get what you want from this person, produced by a false conviction of being unhappy or a complete failure if you can’t make this relationship work.
I think that throughout our lives we have been taught to look at successful relationship through the eyes of need. You need a good man/woman. You need a good boyfriend/girlfriend. You need to stay away from bad boys/girls. You need someone you can start a family with because you need to get married and have a family of your own. You need someone or you’ll end up lonely. You need the right man/woman to complete you. Really? If that is what we need and not want, what’s the point of falling in love?
I can answer that as well. The point of falling in love is to enjoy it. We want to be in relationships with the people we love because we love and not need them. Need has nothing to do with another person – we make a choice to be with them.
If need were such a strong factor in choosing relationships, we would all be with the first person we see in the street. If it’s all about need, why not choose the closest one to you and fulfill your needs? Why? Because it doesn’t work that way. It is the level of joy another person gives you that makes you believe you need them somehow – you derive more happiness than you’re used to from them (because all you’ve been searching for until then was need) and suddenly, you feel undeserving and afraid that you might lose it.
At the same time, this doesn’t happen with the people we aren’t ourselves around. They don’t give us joy – they reflect the parts of us we feel like we’re missing and with it, cause a self-produced sense of need. If the Law of Attraction has already taught us that everything we feel for another person is reflected back to us, I believe the need to be validated by someone we admire reminds us of what we don’t have. It makes us believe that validation from this particular person will turn us into the people we always knew we could be…is that how you feel about the person you want to be with but feel upset by or unsettled around?
If that is the case, you must focus on self-love more than you ever have. You have put your happiness in another person’s hands, even if they didn’t ask for it, and now is the time to put it back into your own. You must realize that nothing will change if you remain in this state. Relationships are mutual and right now, you are alone in it. You cannot comprehend ever feeling positive or relaxed in the relationship you are visualizing, with the person you are visualizing. You must find love within in order to believe you can have it in this relationship. And by that, I don’t mean that the purpose of developing self-love is getting into a relationship – the purpose of developing self-love is to be happy with your life and yourself, regardless of your relationship status. Only if you don’t need a relationship will you be able to manifest one.
In my opinion, the people who make us feel uncomfortable are wrong for us. However, this is just my experience. Whatever you wish to manifest, you can, but you must believe that this is right for you. If it makes you feel bad, you can’t manifest it and you must change it. For me, that change always consisted of walking away.
Now, it’s up to you. Decide and go for it. Decide to feel good or walk away…but make a change. Decide who you want to be and make sure you’re proud of it. Before being proud of being with the person you wanted, become proud of yourself.
What has happened when one suddenly has much to share about one’s life, wanting to shout it from the rooftops? At the same time, this thing one is simply dying to share also requires nurturing and privacy, for certain aspects of it were meant to be cherished behind closed doors?
You might have guessed it – one has fallen in love.
The question of how one becomes aware of being in love is obsolete – when we know, we just know. If we doubt, it isn’t what we wanted it to be, even if it is some form of love. And when we do know that what we wanted has been found, all inferior forms of love from our past simply fade away. We are unemotionally aware of their former existence, knowing they might have happened yet deeming them nothing but fragments of our memory or even imagination.
The phenomenon of self-love to romantic love continues to fascinate me. As I have always said that we must love ourselves before we love others, I am fascinated by love’s pilgrimage from our hearts and souls through our insecurities and doubts to the heights of our happiness, to the hearts of our soul mates.
Have you ever wondered what exactly made you want to use the Law of Attraction to create love with an individual of your choice? What is it that makes you love another person and allow yourself to believe your mutual love is possible? What aspects of yourself have attracted specific aspects of that person?
Me, I always wanted a soul mate. A soul mate is a person you have a connection with and you both know it. It is a person you want every day, one whom you want to be best friends with as well as be romantic and intimate with. It is your mutual alignment consisted of similarities and contradictions, of fulfilment and completions, that offers everything you need to feel a desire to be together. My idea of falling in love included a man who finally understood me, one who accepted and wanted to love me but never ceased to ask questions in order to understand who I was as deeply as he could; at the same time, I always imagined that the man who wanted to know everything about me would open up to me just as easily because I would want to know everything about him and would ask him questions to show it.
And you? What have you always wanted to find? What have you wanted to understand and experience being understood about yourself? Answering these questions allows you to visualize and create a specific relationship with a specific person.
If you are a loving person to the core, you will love the one you love and other things and people in your life. Everything might be an expression of self-love as well as the love for another person – this kind of force can hold as much power inside us as self-love. I truly believe we can love another person as much as we love ourselves and the power of our feelings can make it seem like we actually love that person more than ourselves and our own life but this is difficult to achieve without self-love to begin with. When love is that strong, we can all relate. We have all felt it which shows we’re all capable of even more love than we realize.
If we feel love, we can create anything we want with it. If we can feel fulfilment based on trust alone, we can attract anything we want.
Everything comes from within. You can’t give what you don’t possess and possessing love within ensures giving and evoking it in others. Think of the most loving person you know – they are such because they feel love. Love can work miracles if you allow it.
Be grateful to your negative thoughts because even they can bring you closer to your end goal.
If you allow them, they can and they will; this is nothing short of a miracle and the events we perceive as miracles happen every day. Whatever you believe, you attract, and if you believe your negative thoughts can also help, they actually will.
When we want something truly and deeply, a blend of this desire with our existing fears can lead to worrying about losing it as soon as we manifest it. If you worry about losing what you wish to manifest, it means there are fears in you caused by past events that you haven’t dealt with yet.
Some past fears are easier to sweep under a rug than deal with; you may be telling yourself that you have moved on but deep down, you know exactly what you’re afraid of when it comes to your current desires and it usually has to do with emotional trauma from the past.
These fears should not have power over us and I think it’s time we dealt with them. You have to know that most of these fears have been brewing inside you for much longer than the situation causing them even lasted, and that other people who were involved in it might not have even perceived this situation the way you did.
Most of the time, when I wonder if I have made the wrong move towards someone, it turns out they actually perceive me even better than I imagined – this kind of turnaround happens easily when you develop positivity in the core of your being. On the other hand, negative feelings and powering through them with the goal of removing them ensures we come out the other side a more positive individual every single time.
Your fear of abandonment, of being made to look like a fool, of losing love and being unhappy, and my fears of boredom, misery and ending up living a life I’m indifferent to must leave for good right now.
Fears can take over our lives and I refuse to let that happen – so should you. It’s a waste of time, happiness and life. This is self-motivation at its best.
In order to feel good about myself, I must be happy with myself first. I am a person who tries to find fun in every situation and discover its beauty, no matter how deeply hidden it is. To me, feeling like an easygoing person happens when I face my fears without worrying that admitting them would diminish my value – it is what being fearless is all about. You’re afraid yet you act; you’re afraid yet you feel like you can make it happen.
Calmly believing that only what you want is happening is enough of a refusal to let fear take over. If you believe it, you will instinctively choose the fastest course of action to take in order to achieve your goal.
Positivity and self-belief must be your triggers and primary motivators – if you have them, you can have anything you want. You start to believe that you can make anything happen. Thinking about what you want will be making you happy instead of filling your energy with anxiety.
Most importantly, your desire to manifest what you want must be strong enough to allow you to believe it is yours. Think about your desire as yours already and be grateful for it. I understand there is an instinctive fear of not getting what you want if you have ever been hurt in the past but it is time to let go of that fear – unrealistic and holding you back, it simply doesn’t deserve your attention.
When you express gratitude for living a specific dream and repeat it several times, you start to believe it’s real already. You feel fulfilment and when you do, you attract the exact cause of that fulfilment.
For days, I’ve been thinking about the single most important part of effortless manifestation. Most of us wanted to know the answer to successfully avoiding negative thoughts and stopping ourselves from engaging in doubt yet we didn’t find it until we started to feel unconditionally good about ourselves.
They don’t tell us that love is the key to LoA for nothing. Some might wonder why love is such a boost and why self-love in particular means so much in this process but when you think about it, you end up realizing that self-love leads to positivity and positivity leads to relaxation, trust and letting go. A relaxed mind boosted by loving emotions leads to attracting one’s desired life without effort.
You might wonder why exactly the core of your personality makes such a difference. Wouldn’t just imagining living your desired life be enough to lead you down the path of making it happen? Although this part is true, being truly in love with yourself while imagining living your desired life helps the process go faster and smoothly, ensuring fast and smooth manifestation. If you can’t see it, how can you manifest it? And if you love yourself, you can see and manifest.
Even though very short, this definition is all you need – it is the key to LoA. Think about it – you manifest what you feel deserving of and if you love yourself, you feel deserving of your desires, right? You feel that you were meant to have them. You know they’re possible for you.
Maybe this blog post was meant to serve as a simple reminder. I’ve been incredibly happy lately yet it makes perfect sense that I would be in the said situation not only because I wanted to be in it but because I have the most loving feelings in and all around it. It is where I want to be and my life hasn’t been the same since. If you love yourself, you will also be able to imagine yourself exactly where you want to be.
What you want is yours already.
Do you wish to attract a commodity, circumstance or a relationship you believe would change your entire life and bring you happiness almost magically? In your mind, is this particular desire the Holy Grail of your goals and personal fulfilment?
If that’s the case, you might find the impression of your desire being present or absent controlling your overall mood. The appearance of short-term manifestations or signs that make your ultimate desire feel real inevitably lift your spirits while negative signs or the feeling of loneliness can just as easily take over, giving you a sinking feeling. Even if you don’t want to feel the absence, you often end up feeling too weak to help yourself.
What is there to do?
First of all, you must know this – if you are easily upset by the absence of your desired manifestation, this is completely normal and there is nothing wrong with you.
You don’t have to beat yourself up about it – throughout our lives, we most likely haven’t been informed of the most constructive ways to deal with negative feelings. In order to shield their beloved children from disappointment or protect them from getting hurt, parents often attempt to prepare us for dealing with life but lead us to believe we should expect to not get what we want instead, as our dreams might be difficult to achieve.
If you have been told that you might not get what you want because so many others want it, too, which might prevent you from getting it, you were taught to believe that something or someone can come in between you and your dreams when in reality, they can’t.
When you want something and are sure you are going to get it, nothing and no one can prevent it from happening. The only thing that can prevent it from happening is your own absence of the right belief.
Have you ever felt that manifesting your desires absolutely must always be a struggle for you for some reason, that you can never just get what you want smoothly, happily or positively? This is a mindset in itself, the type of self-perception ensuring you will continue to complicate your manifestations until someday accepting the fact that you deserve to enjoy them.
This type of mindset happens when one is guided by fear(s) which causes one to form attachment to one’s desires.
When greatly attached to a specific relationship, positively or negatively, it is tempting to allow for that relationship to become a part of your identity – a temptation often given into. The only problem is that in this case, your mood will change with the state of your relationship and inevitably follow its ups and downs.
When attached to another person, we stop accepting them fully and attempt to mould them into whoever we think they should be and the way they should behave, even if only partially or subconsciously. When loving another person fully, for everything they are, we have no reason to want to “improve” their imperfections and with that, create any sort of attachment which only produces the need to see someone behave the way we think they should.
Don’t get sucked in by attachment! Your desired manifestation is going to be a part of your life, even if it’s an important one, but when it comes to your life, you are everything. Not your desires, present circumstances or fears – just you. Against the happy you, attachment has no chance.
This is why you must feel good to the core of your being. When you feel good, you also feel good about your desires, inevitably sending attachment away whenever it comes knocking.
The other night, I was in a deep discussion with a friend as we were driving around the city at 2 a.m.. Sharing experiences of recent and not-so-recent encounters with men, her accurate grasp of relationships absolutely amazed me.
Insightful and astute, my friend instantly pinpointed the gist of any story she or I shared. I was humbled in the most amazing way, in adoration and respect of this fresh mind – not perspective but the mind itself, as she managed to angle her perception any which way in order to reach the necessary answers. Her mind was just flawlessly on.
My own mind wasn’t entirely on that particular night. I found myself drifting from jokes to listening without responding verbally, focused as my listening was. The night was fun but after a while, I wanted to change my current state of mind. My moments of disconnect happen rarely but I have long decided to own them when they do, admitting to thinly veiled jokes and my entirely honest thoughts. Calling it as I feel it, I feel better when I admit it anyway. Secrets have no use and pretence has no place in a happy and more importantly, free individual’s life.
Keeping secrets is a burden, mostly when you keep your own…and every individual pretending to be someone else keeps the biggest secret of all. Avoiding authenticity has no place in happy relationships and if you wish to attract them, loving and accepting yourself fully is what attracts love and acceptance from your desired partner, even in moments of disagreement.
Pretending to be anyone other than who you are equals keeping a secret.
My friend openly expressed her current views and faced the evolvement of her situation with acceptance and positivity; much to her glee, she experienced a positive turnaround less than an hour after I dropped her off. In regard to one particular discussion, she opened my mind – a gesture I was immensely grateful for. In another discussion, her kind words appealed to my already open heart.
She had made me think.
My friend attracted what she wanted by accepting the current reality for what it was, feeling good about herself and the other person, and lovingly imagining the future.
She helped me back into my sense of inner peace which I attracted with her help.
Best part, this discussion didn’t even seem heavy. I am used to feeling so light that either anything feels light or what feels heavy I apologize for bringing up but this was serious yet normal, natural and typical of the way life goes. It was comforting and positive.
I am a person with specific preferences that knows what she wants. I like my mind clear and respectfully expressive which usually leads to rediscovering that most people aren’t used to honesty. When it comes to relationships, I also experienced moments of thinking that a profoundly happy love was the simplest thing to ask for yet the most complicated goal to achieve but when I say moments, I literally mean moments – my positive mind would allow me to snap out of it momentarily and remember what I believed instead. Fleeting is not a problem as long as it doesn’t equate one’s core belief (and then, it isn’t fleeting anyway). That night, my friend reminded me of my goals instead of allowing me to indulge in short-term distractions. She helped me out of that moment and back into my positive thoughts while her story inspired me.
My relationship goals are my core and mental distractions are temporary – I feel like I’ve been coming to terms with this particular lesson since the beginning of the year.
My friend also reminded me of something unexpected – when faced with conflicted thoughts, talking them out helps. I prefer talking about my conflicted thoughts to be as brief as possible, never going into overtime, as my fastest track to their (dis)solution tends to be calling them what they are and moving forward. Indulging in them has never made me happy and I doubt it ever could. Indulging in negative thoughts is nothing but mental hibernation.
Those who indulge in negative thoughts about relationships continue to attract the same type of person and relationship over and over. If you are currently attracting the type of person and relationship you don’t want anymore, you simply must change focus.
My friend had – starting off conflicted about her relationship, she eventually began to feel good about it and manifested its improvement. She attracted improvement with the same person.
I needed to self-improve that night and she helped me. I am a better person for it, as I have faced and resolved my latest annoyances with her help.
I’m on holiday in the south of Spain and will catch up with emails and new comments as soon as I return! I got to answer some last week and truly hope that you were satisfied. I hope I helped you out because I appreciate you so much.
Today, I have a question – would you be interested in reading a book on “how to put the past behind you and move on from (the pain of) a past relationship using LoA?” I have just come up with this subject line about an hour ago but genuinely believe there might be something special in it.
This book would detail the process of getting over the pain from your past entirely just by focusing on you and once you should put it behind, possibly rebuilding this relationship in order to make it everything you want it to be…or finding the partner of your dreams and immersing yourself into an entirely new love story with them. Anything you want.
I would also show you my personal ways of doing this and everything that happened before I talked myself into letting go of the frustration. I would tell you how I reminded myself that nothing but happy and positive inner focus was the only way back to being myself, strong with an open heart, loving and attractive, happy and independent…everything one must be either as the partner of someone’s dreams or to be happy on their own. When you’re happy, you love yourself and others without need and attract anyone you want without effort.
What do you think? Please share your thoughts in the comments section!
I love you all and I am looking forward to hearing from you!
Have a wonderful day!