Is there a person in your life or relationship that makes you feel inadequate or like you’re always coming second? And are your feelings continuously being made worse by your partner who seems to pay more attention to this person and their feelings than you in a variety of ways? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you probably feeling like there is a person in yours or your partner’s life you have to compete with.
This person could be your partner’s close friend, a nagging ex or even a family member – whoever they are, you feel queasy in their presence or from the very mention of their name. You might even feel that their feelings are more important to your partner than your own and you might be torn between wanting to fix the problem and even considering leaving the relationship.
Before you decide, there are several important points you need to consider.
First of all, it is important to know that no one is forcing you to compete with another person…ever. You choose whether or not to engage in competition, just like you choose everything else in your life.
Personally, competition is beneath me. If I feel like I am being forced to compete with another person, I simply walk away. If you don’t want to walk away immediately, having an open conversation with your partner or whoever it is that makes you compete is always a good idea and it might just solve the problem if you express your feelings openly, honestly and with confidence. Remember that you have the power to solve any problem in your life, either by compromising or leaving.
You have to start living your life from the awareness of being a person of value. Great value isn’t determined by what you have or have accomplished – it is determined by who you are. If you decide to connect with your confidence and stop accepting being treated poorly by another, you will naturally gravitate towards other confident people and positive situations.
You have to start having more fun in your own life, without the need for approval from anyone, your partner included. When you focus on making your own life fun, you will stop being upset by all those people whose behavior is simply not on your level. Making life fun for yourself will help you reconnect with your own confidence and maybe even lead you to new people and new experiences.
And instead of fearing the person you think you have to compete with, use some ingenious ways to get them on your team. If they have a particular skill set, ask them to do something for you. If they are the person who is constantly trying to make you compete, laugh off their attempts and refuse to let them upset you (or pretend that they don’t) as this particular approach will throw them off. Whatever you choose to do, do it with confidence.
Getting this person on your side might just be the inspired action that makes you feel good which will prompt LoA to bring even more positive change into your situation. When you do what makes you feel good instead of worrying about any particular situation, you begin to make better, lighter and more positive decisions which attract even more positive change as a result. This is how LoA works when you take a positive step in your current reality!