When we want something truly and deeply, a blend of this desire with our existing fears can lead to worrying about losing it as soon as we manifest it. If you worry about losing what you wish to manifest, it means there are fears in you caused by past events that you haven’t dealt with yet.
Some past fears are easier to sweep under a rug than deal with; you may be telling yourself that you have moved on but deep down, you know exactly what you’re afraid of when it comes to your current desires and it usually has to do with emotional trauma from the past.
These fears should not have power over us and I think it’s time we dealt with them. You have to know that most of these fears have been brewing inside you for much longer than the situation causing them even lasted, and that other people who were involved in it might not have even perceived this situation the way you did.
Most of the time, when I wonder if I have made the wrong move towards someone, it turns out they actually perceive me even better than I imagined – this kind of turnaround happens easily when you develop positivity in the core of your being. On the other hand, negative feelings and powering through them with the goal of removing them ensures we come out the other side a more positive individual every single time.
Your fear of abandonment, of being made to look like a fool, of losing love and being unhappy, and my fears of boredom, misery and ending up living a life I’m indifferent to must leave for good right now.
Fears can take over our lives and I refuse to let that happen – so should you. It’s a waste of time, happiness and life. This is self-motivation at its best.
In order to feel good about myself, I must be happy with myself first. I am a person who tries to find fun in every situation and discover its beauty, no matter how deeply hidden it is. To me, feeling like an easygoing person happens when I face my fears without worrying that admitting them would diminish my value – it is what being fearless is all about. You’re afraid yet you act; you’re afraid yet you feel like you can make it happen.
Calmly believing that only what you want is happening is enough of a refusal to let fear take over. If you believe it, you will instinctively choose the fastest course of action to take in order to achieve your goal.
Positivity and self-belief must be your triggers and primary motivators – if you have them, you can have anything you want. You start to believe that you can make anything happen. Thinking about what you want will be making you happy instead of filling your energy with anxiety.
Most importantly, your desire to manifest what you want must be strong enough to allow you to believe it is yours. Think about your desire as yours already and be grateful for it. I understand there is an instinctive fear of not getting what you want if you have ever been hurt in the past but it is time to let go of that fear – unrealistic and holding you back, it simply doesn’t deserve your attention.
When you express gratitude for living a specific dream and repeat it several times, you start to believe it’s real already. You feel fulfilment and when you do, you attract the exact cause of that fulfilment.
It is what you believe you have a difficult time manifesting that causes attachment in you.
Changing yourself to assume the lightness of character, endless self-confidence and unwavering belief is achieved with self-love. Those who doubt this notion haven’t tried engaging in self-love just yet.
And when it comes to manifesting love with somebody else, self-love is your starting point. Self-love is what makes you believe that you can live the kind of love you want and deserve with somebody else (or a specific person you have fallen in love with and want to be spending your life with).
In my life, I quickly got used to following my positive feelings while keeping my freedom; at the same time, I hadn’t always sought out love as much as I sought out fun. I was confusing love with attachment and thought that engaging in love meant that I would inevitably end up feeling trapped. This was my learning period and now that I read it, it sounds very juvenile. I was always just as honest with myself about my fears of boredom or anything else and knew I would open up to love when I decided to. I had made the mistake of thinking that love inevitably leads to boredom instead of deciding that I would be experiencing the kind of love I wanted immediately. That was a (very) quick overview of my former relationship outlook.
I genuinely thought, “What is so special about making a life goal out of getting married and having children? Anyone can do it! And when it turns into a goal, one runs the risk of lowering their criteria just to find someone to marry and reproduce with as soon as possible. Marriage and children should be a part of life, not the ultimate goal because what do you do after you’ve had them?”
See what I mean?
That is not to say I haven’t given love a chance with various types of men. I just knew it wouldn’t last but wanted to enjoy it while it did. In an odd way, this was also positive – I wanted to be in a happy relationship with someone I was mesmerised with, even if I knew my fascination with his goodness wouldn’t last. Eventually, the fascination ended and all that was left was appreciation (or a lack thereof) but it was appreciation sufficient for a friendship, not a loving relationship.
My need for freedom was caused by previous relationships in which I had felt suffocated and I needed to get over that. For as long as I confused love for suffocation, I would be trying to escape it instead of enjoy it.
The truth is that we are all free – love lasts for as long as it does and even if we cannot choose how long we will love somebody for, we can choose to always treat them with honesty and respect. You get what you give. Staying with someone if you don’t want to isn’t fair but being honest with them and allowing the both of you to move on with your lives is. You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to stand by your decisions, have integrity and have the strength to follow up, no matter how difficult it is for you. A decision is always one way – you can’t have it both ways and expect to be respected, by yourself or others.
I took a lot of heat for ending some of my relationships but knew it was the right thing to do. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and nobody was changing my mind. However, I didn’t take it personally. It didn’t matter who disagreed with me – I only relied on my own approval.
Self-love allows you to follow your heart because making the right love-based decision for yourself means making the best decision for everyone involved. If you know something is right for you, eventually it will have proven to be so for everyone involved, maybe even sooner rather than later.
All these personal attitudes were formed either prior to or as a result of my starting to look at relationships as something easy and natural – I’m not sure what order it went in but it doesn’t matter. One of these factors inevitably leads to another as a happy and healthy outlook is formed. After all, relationships can only work when fuelled by love, no matter how or when it happens.
Those who fear relationships and break-ups see them as difficult parts of life, causing their minds and hearts to close off to them and prevent them from manifesting.
If you see something as difficult, causing you sadness or simply impossible, you are preventing yourself from manifesting it. Emotional openness, positivity and feelings of fulfilment are the energy that attracts your desires while difficulty and sadness cause you to close yourself off from having what you want.
Difficulty leads to noticing that your desire has not manifested yet which leads to attachment. Instead, adopt an attitude of your desires being easy to manifest! Decide that this easy manifesting is to start this second and allow your life to finally change.
Using the Law of Attraction truly shows us that everything is connected. Now, we must use this connection to attract what we love into our lives by creating the most amazing environment for it to thrive in with our own feelings and expressions of love.
Thinking about the person you want to be instead of what is happening around you is going to allow you to enjoy your current reality instead of feeling that you are missing your desired one.
If you are struggling to stay happy in your current reality, you must start focusing on yourself.
The question is, what do you tend to base your self-confidence, your sense of personal value, on?
Some base their sense of personal value on their great family, job, social or financial status. In some cases, people know that these external factors will stay with them forever but what about those who base their sense of personal value on the world’s perception of their social status, the people in their life who build them up or pretty much anything they have instead of who they are, no matter what that is?
You might know your family isn’t that great but others think it is so you keep up appearances because you like the admiration you are getting.
Your family might be great so you base your sense of self-worth on having that family but what would you do if you suddenly didn’t have that family tomorrow? I’m not saying you won’t but would it make you any less worthy? Of course it wouldn’t but you might start to think that it does. You might already feel like you would have nothing if you didn’t have them anymore.
You might know that the work you do comes with as many (if not more) drawbacks as well as benefits yet everyone else seems to admire the perception of what you do so you pretend like it’s the most amazing job in the world. You like the validation so you let them think it’s just as good as it sounds.
Your relationship might not be making you happy anymore but many other people see it ideal in some way. You know that you would rather live a life of integrity than a lie but at the same time, shattering this image would feel additionally shocking to you because it would also shock so many other individuals.
There are numerous examples of this but they all signal the same thing – allowing external factors to be a source of your own confidence instead of the internal factors such as self-confidence based on being strong and positive, intelligent and internally attractive. That is who you are and the rest is merely what you have.
I am notsaying that you will but losing any of these external factors at some point in life would cause you to feel like you lost a part of yourself if you based your self-worth on having them. True sense of self-worth is based on you – who you are, how you think, handle situations, solve problems and how worthy you feel of happiness – regardless of the external factors you may have.
Who you are decides on what you will end up having. Those who don’t take care of who they are risk clinging too hard on something that they have and then losing it. I am not saying that this will happen to you but once you start to rely on your own support instead of something that you have, life will become much easier! Once you start to rely on your own opinion alone, you will lighten up your own life and awareness, and inspire others to do the same (not to mention that focusing on yourself allows you to finally see what you want and not just what you like having in your life because it’s comfortable but doesn’t ignite any passion inside of you).
People tend to rely on the external factors because it’s easier that way…but what if those factors disappeared? What if tomorrow, you lost one of them or realized you never had it in the first place? That is why it is important to start focusing on yourself, even if you never lose any of these external factors. At the same time, if you already know that you are clinging onto some of these too hard, now is the perfect time to start focusing on yourself instead.
Common examples of lacking self-confidence due to the “right” external factors are:
Not knowing what you want to do with your life after graduation;
Not being able to afford everything you want right now and wondering if you ever will just because you can’t right now instead of believing in yourself and attracting it;
Being told what you “should” know and how you “should” feel and feeling unaccepted just because you don’t know it and feel it instead of listening to yourself, what you want to know and what you want to feel;
Thinking that your desires aren’t manifesting fast enough, as if you would not survive without them (when clearly, you already are);
Not having a family that boosts your sense of self-worth, as if they are the ones who decide it and not you;
Allowing yourself to be embarrassed by those you know – only you can decide to feel embarrassed and no one else can decide it for you.
Not having the kind of partner your close ones approve of, as if they are the ones who should decide on your relationship and who you love.
There are so many more important things in life – much bigger and much more important. These are just the bad habits of society and insecure individuals which I am guessing you do not want to be.
Insecure individuals use society’s “standards” to feel better about themselves and then, they use you and your refusal to comply with those “standards” as a reason to put you down and falsely feel better about themselves for a few minutes; only they don’t realize that by trying to put you down, they are merely putting themselves down instead.
They cannot decide how you feel; only you can do that. However, they can be a great reminder of why one should never base their sense of self-worth on the external factors because these people are everywhere.
However, they’re irrelevant – it’s your sense of gain and loss that is the only relevant factor here.
When you gain true confidence, one that comes from you and your choices of feelings and actions based on who you are, you will already feel like you have everything.
Have you ever wondered where basing your confidence on external factors even came from and why it was accepted as a norm?
Wanting to base self-confidence on external factors is tempting because it is always a quick fix. Haven’t we all been tempted to feel this way at one point or another? The trick is to move away from this kind of thinking because it’s too easy and not in a good way.
It is too easy to let others decide on your life for you and that is why so many individuals accept it – they don’t have to make any decisions that way.
Decision making means personal responsibility which is still too much for some people to handle…but hey, who cares, right? It’s only their life we’re talking about.
If you should start to think of any change in your life as a small, solvable or temporary thing, you would automatically see that you, your optimism and your amazing spirit for living are above them.
I have been unsure of what I wanted to do in life. I have been unemployed and grown unhappy in some work engagements. I have given up on plenty of romantic relationships on their due date. I had to manifest my ideal body. I felt that my writing wasn’t good enough at times and I was bored with it at others. I had to work hard to become good at certain things, even if I wanted them. I was bored with the things I had more than once. I wanted a change more than once. But so what? Life was meant to serve me, not the other way around. When these feelings come up, some give up and others decide what they want instead.
What will you decide today?
If you focus on your happiness, you will make the choices that serve it but I can tell you right now that basing your happiness on yourself instead of what you have is always the right choice.
Even if your desire is to be admired, don’t be admired for what you have – be admired for who you are and inspire others to be themselves.
Law of Attraction is about you and everything you believe in. Law of Attraction responds to your feelings, beliefs, happiness and imagination, creating your life according to those aspects of you.
Everything you have in your life right now is what you believed was possible for you on some level. If you can see something in your mind, you can certainly manifest it.
If you can see yourself happily living your desire in your mind, the feeling of living it will make its way through your awareness, removing all attachment and allowing you to let go and manifest naturally.
WHAT IS ATTACHMENT?
More than anything, attachment is connected with the need to manifest what you want as soon as possible, impatiently and while trying to prove to yourself that you can. If you are attached to your desire, you probably keep thinking that you want what you want now, not feeling like doing anything else until you manifest it.
At the same time, don’t those thoughts and the need to prove something to yourself mean that you don’t have your desire just yet? Your goal is to feel that you do!
This is why you can think of your desire all your want if those thoughts are loving visualizations of living your desire – when you’ve had enough, you will naturally let go and focus on something else, allowing your desire to manifest.
You’re supposed to be happy, love your desire and be grateful that it’s yours! You are supposed to feel what it’s like to live your life with your desire in it.
You are only supposed to imagine what you would love to happen while being grateful for being so happy.
Some wrongly focus on the “waiting” and “trying” to manifest their desire, feeling like this all the time. They remain stuck in this energy which makes them feel awful, like their desire is slipping away which creates even more attachment as a result.
If you feel downright lousy when thinking about your desire, you are not nurturing the thoughts you want to be thinking in order to manifest. You are not believing in yourself. You are probably focusing on the wrong aspect of your desire – waiting instead of having.
Right now, you feel that you’re missing it but as soon as you get used to having it in your mind, you will automatically let it go to manifest.
You will manifest what you believe is possible for you in life. Even if you thought that something was once possible but then gave up and moved on, you may have manifested it anyway because you had finally let go.
What does that tell you?
Attachment often feels like waiting for your desire to manifest instead of having it. Attachment comes from wanting to have everything right now.
Attachment is removed by believing you already have everything.
HOW DOES IT FEEL?
After putting a great deal of energy into living your desire, you will realize that living it actually is natural. If you can see it in your mind, it can become natural to you. Suddenly, you’ve experienced it and don’t need it anymore; soon, it manifests.
Even when accompanied by a great deal of excitement, seeing yourself living your desire can become natural to you. Excitement doesn’t have to last or, it can come and go, but true love for your desire runs deep.
True appreciation for your desire keeps it in your reality.
I expect the Universe to manifest my desires in a magical way.
If you adopt it, that very belief can take your focus off thinking about the “how.”
You can remove your own resistance with this simple expectation. This expectation is your resistance relieving technique. After adopting this expectation, you will have let go to manifest.
There are times when I don’t even express my expectation for this magical way of manifesting but only focus on the end result. There are few rules when it comes to conscious feelings and at the same time, focusing on achieving your end result is enough.
Feeling this way provides an unfettered access to your heart energy. Connecting to your heart energy as a result of these simple convictions will happen without you even noticing. Heart energy can be released both intentionally and without realizing as long as you feel good.
Letting go while expecting the best will make you feel good.
There is so little to be said about a successful manifestation process yet so much about resistance and negative feelings – I know that a successful manifestation can also generate endless happiness and the motivation to share the story but sometimes, it feels like there is much less to explain. Many look for the reasons why something good is happening to them until they dive into all the reasons for their negative feelings. At those times, it feels like the process of “keeping busy” trying to manifest is more important to some than the actual manifestation. A part of them that seeks out drama wants to feed off those ups and downs.
The part that feeds off drama exists in everyone; however, by nurturing the part that revels in happiness, the need for drama slowly vanishes. One step at a time, one has changed their habits and life.
If one can spend quality time on their own, one will have removed the need for the things many of us have gotten used to having and tricked ourselves into “needing” over the years.
In moments of solitude, many have tricked themselves to believe to be bored by default instead of exploring potential activities they could enjoy on their own. Then, many already know how to appreciate their time alone. Some love reading and writing in complete solitude. A friend of mine likes to drive around for hours and think. Some do nothing but simply disconnect themselves from the world which replenishes their minds. Another friend of mine took my advice and made a habit of going out to lunch alone while reading a book. Regardless of the specific activity (or a lack thereof), the ability to enjoy some alone time goes a long way when it comes to confidence and with that, faith in one’s manifestation abilities.
You might wonder how exactly this works.
Enjoying some alone time allows you to see why you don’t need anything else. You are perfectly capable of finding amusement and productivity all on your own; knowing that, you can simply become grateful for everything and everyone that make a great addition to your life. You can be grateful for any conversation you have, all your friends and family and realize why relationships are natural to us – they make us happy, even if we don’t actually need them. You could be fine on your own but knowing that can also easily allow you to be grateful for everyone in your life.
You just spent some time alone and you survived. You don’t need other people – you just like them.
Knowing this can help you remove the need for your manifestations, allowing you to finally manifest. Removing the need for company and just appreciating it helps you manifest.
Try and spend a few hours on your own – you will start to enjoy your own company.
Enjoying “me” time removes need and excessive attachment to one’s desire, allowing them to enjoy their life fully and rapidly manifest entirely new miracles.
“Me” time is another positive concept which society has spun into negative, pegging it selfish and unnecessary. “Me” time allows you to reconnect with your essence and true desires, giving you a chance to be grateful for everything you have.
I love my personal time. Going to a spa, reading a book, watching movies, long walks, meditation, even shopping all by myself in some cases can give me exactly what I need. I love and deserve it; my private time reminds me of everything I love, have and deserve in life. You can feel the same way and you know it!
Much of my work is also created in private but that is an entirely different story.
Many Law of Attraction teachers advocate pampering oneself as a method of expressing self-love as well as raising awareness of one’s value. I absolutely agree.
When you start to treat yourself the way you deserve, you will only accept the same from others.
“Me” time allows you to raise your vibration as you remind yourself of how rich and wonderful life is.
Nothing raises my vibration as effectively as a song that describes my feelings. I’m a music fan that manifests the perfect song of the moment without effort and recommend this to everyone. So many of us love music and can use this extremely easy way of raising our vibration.
Personally, I can kill an entire day listening to the same song on repeat while going about my work and errands. Connected to my desire, this particular song gives me effortless visualizations and makes me happy, preparing me for receiving and living my desire.
Your private visualization time with music on makes for fantastic “me” time.
Happy New Year everyone! And to kick off this year in a positive way, let’s discuss one of the essential topics of manifestation – your expectations.
By now, you know that we receive what we expect to receive…but what if you expect yourself to think negative thoughts if one aspect of your manifestation should take longer than you’d like? What if you dread something specific happening (or, not) because you know it’ll set you off into a negative state of mind? To some, this can be a day of no communication with the person they desire to be in a relationship with. What if you fear that, since many things take longer than you’d like, same will happen with your current desire?
What if you just expect your negative thoughts to spice up your manifestation process, adding a little drama to make the situation interesting? Are you looking to manifest something new and fascinating without knowing how?
Do you expect or simply fear that something undesirable will happen in your manifestation?
Isn’t it time we let all that stuff go?
Expecting to receive exactly what you want to receive is part of being an adult, if you ask me. Knowing the ways in which energy creates, there’s no reason one should expect anything to go wrong. Why exhaust yourself in the first place? What’s the point?
Why let your negative thoughts eat away at your sanity for no reason? This is nothing but a very effective way to move your vibration far away from your desire.
If by now, you know that you should trust the Universe to bring you what you desire by knowing it belongs to you already, feeling grateful for it and allowing it to come to you, you should expect to receive what you desire to live.
If one is unable to see their desire clearly in their mind and feel love for it in their heart, the question of the said desire being what they truly want arises. If they do, the level of attachment to one’s desire clearly shows they are not ready to live it – if they were, they would know it belongs to them already. How can a desire manifest if constantly being rejected by negative thoughts? That is not a welcoming environment for one’s desire to appear.
I don’t want anyone to think that I’m criticising. I’m just saying that being an adult feels good. One can be an adult and be youthful, welcoming every positive feeling while deciding the excessively negative ones are simply beneath them. Self-confidence can come with age so why shouldn’t it?
I believe that a solid reason for letting go of all negative thoughts makes it easier to give them up. Besides hurting your manifestation, adulthood is an excellent reason for giving up all your negative thoughts. They’re simply beneath you. You deserve to live a happy life you have designed.
“I expect to receive what I desire to live; I expect to live a life I love.” This is your new mantra.
This is one of the most important posts I have ever written.
I often stress the importance of directing feelings of love and appreciation towards oneself regardless of one’s current life circumstances, physical appearance, social or financial status. Some may think they need specific external validation in order to achieve their desired self-confidence, a notion entirely untrue.
Six years ago, I manifested weight loss of about 20 lbs. I thought it would make me as confident as I always wanted to be. However, I felt exactly the same and was shocked over that very fact. My awareness and with it, my self-confidence, never changed until I faced my limiting beliefs.
Every time I manifested a relationship I desired, I felt the same after I’d received it. I wasn’t permanently happier – I was only more excited. After the excitement wore off, I was the same person. Each time, I was expecting that the relationship would bring out an even better side of me, forgetting that I and I alone had the capability of doing so. My absolute best always rested in me, not in my relationship.
I’m only thirty years old and back then, I was in my mid twenties. I hadn’t learned everything I needed to just yet.
If you think your life circumstances, current job, physical appearance or financial status stand in the way of being the person you desire to be, this is the person you never were. An amazing person is amazing regardless of what is happening around them. Energy movement ensures that once you are capable of being the person you desire to be, you will manifest all your desires. You have to believe before receiving – the essence of LoA.
Directing feelings of love and happiness towards oneself expands one’s self-confidence, which is an essential element of effortless manifestation.
If you love who you are, never criticize yourself for your negative thoughts. Learn to love your appearance just as it is, knowing that you can change it whenever you want. If you hate your job, do you want to be the person who embraces the misery or one who changed their circumstances? Once you opt for the latter, use LoA. Decide that your dream job is yours now and never abandon that resolve. Every time you encounter a negative thought, simply replace it with a positive one.
You might think you would approach the person you love if you were more attractive or wealthier. You might think that these external attributes would offer you a needed confidence kick but in reality, they would only distract you from dealing with your deep-seeded issues.
And, you know it.
Being the person you desire to be requires strong resolve.
When you feel like you’re drowning in your negative thoughts, say to yourself,
“My dream life is mine right now. Thank you.”
Your happiness and focus will change effortlessly. LoA is a way of living and your awareness will change as a result of evoking happiness within.
When you encounter an undesirable thought, say to yourself,
“I forgive myself for those thoughts. I am manifesting my dream life rightnow. My desires are a done deal.”
As soon as you say it, you will feel warmth around your heart. Your happiness will change your awareness and you will let your desire go effortlessly, allowing it to manifest.
Be happy forgiving yourself for your negative thoughts and be happy that your dream life belongs to you. Feeling this much happiness excludes all resistance, allowing you to allow your desires to come to you in the most natural flow imaginable.
If you encounter an undesirable circumstance, say to yourself,
“I am grateful because there is an even better way for my desire to manifest than this would have been.”
Believe it and then, let it go.
The essence of your life lies in your love for the person you are. You are capable of effortlessly being everything you desire to be. Directing love towards yourself when you feel your best, your worst, your happiest, your most hopeless is going to take you there.