Relationship Advice – How to Attract a Relationship Despite Discomfort around a Specific Person

What do you do if the person you are not yourself around is the person you want to attract a relationship with?

We have all known someone like that, usually in a romantic sense. We have all been involved with a person who has upset or hurt us, resulting in our future interactions being filled with reactions from confusion and a damaged sense of pride when all we wanted to do was relax and be our best selves. We have all been involved with the people who had this effect on us but whether or not we chose to stay in those involvements was entirely up to us.

Choosing to stick around someone who makes you feel this way or use all your strength to walk away from them is a reflection of your personality, awareness, and, most importantly, your level of self-confidence. You might think you don’t deserve better or that the other person does so you feel the need to stick around until you figure out how to give them what you believe they deserve. You think that giving them what you feel they should have would make you happy but the flaw to this plan rests in the idea of putting them ahead of yourself.

A healthy relationship is about balance and equality, not about engaging in emotional compliance. However, particularly strong feelings for another person might cause you to engage in it without them ever asking you to, causing you to fall into codependence of your own making. This type of emotional state comes from the fear of losing what you have and the need to get what you want from this person, produced by a false conviction of being unhappy or a complete failure if you can’t make this relationship work.

I think that throughout our lives we have been taught to look at successful relationship through the eyes of need. You need a good man/woman. You need a good boyfriend/girlfriend. You need to stay away from bad boys/girls. You need someone you can start a family with because you need to get married and have a family of your own. You need someone or you’ll end up lonely. You need the right man/woman to complete you. Really? If that is what we need and not want, what’s the point of falling in love?

I can answer that as well. The point of falling in love is to enjoy it. We want to be in relationships with the people we love because we love and not need them. Need has nothing to do with another person – we make a choice to be with them.

If need were such a strong factor in choosing relationships, we would all be with the first person we see in the street. If it’s all about need, why not choose the closest one to you and fulfill your needs? Why? Because it doesn’t work that way. It is the level of joy another person gives you that makes you believe you need them somehow – you derive more happiness than you’re used to from them (because all you’ve been searching for until then was need) and suddenly, you feel undeserving and afraid that you might lose it.

At the same time, this doesn’t happen with the people we aren’t ourselves around. They don’t give us joy – they reflect the parts of us we feel like we’re missing and with it, cause a self-produced sense of need. If the Law of Attraction has already taught us that everything we feel for another person is reflected back to us, I believe the need to be validated by someone we admire reminds us of what we don’t have. It makes us believe that validation from this particular person will turn us into the people we always knew we could be…is that how you feel about the person you want to be with but feel upset by or unsettled around?

If that is the case, you must focus on self-love more than you ever have. You have put your happiness in another person’s hands, even if they didn’t ask for it, and now is the time to put it back into your own. You must realize that nothing will change if you remain in this state. Relationships are mutual and right now, you are alone in it. You cannot comprehend ever feeling positive or relaxed in the relationship you are visualizing, with the person you are visualizing. You must find love within in order to believe you can have it in this relationship. And by that, I don’t mean that the purpose of developing self-love is getting into a relationship – the purpose of developing self-love is to be happy with your life and yourself, regardless of your relationship status. Only if you don’t need a relationship will you be able to manifest one.

In my opinion, the people who make us feel uncomfortable are wrong for us. However, this is just my experience. Whatever you wish to manifest, you can, but you must believe that this is right for you. If it makes you feel bad, you can’t manifest it and you must change it. For me, that change always consisted of walking away.

Now, it’s up to you. Decide and go for it. Decide to feel good or walk away…but make a change. Decide who you want to be and make sure you’re proud of it. Before being proud of being with the person you wanted, become proud of yourself.

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Self-Love Equals Smooth Manifestation

For days, I’ve been thinking about the single most important part of effortless manifestation. Most of us wanted to know the answer to successfully avoiding negative thoughts and stopping ourselves from engaging in doubt yet we didn’t find it until we started to feel unconditionally good about ourselves.

They don’t tell us that love is the key to LoA for nothing. Some might wonder why love is such a boost and why self-love in particular means so much in this process but when you think about it, you end up realizing that self-love leads to positivity and positivity leads to relaxation, trust and letting go. A relaxed mind boosted by loving emotions leads to attracting one’s desired life without effort.

You might wonder why exactly the core of your personality makes such a difference. Wouldn’t just imagining living your desired life be enough to lead you down the path of making it happen? Although this part is true, being truly in love with yourself while imagining living your desired life helps the process go faster and smoothly, ensuring fast and smooth manifestation. If you can’t see it, how can you manifest it? And if you love yourself, you can see and manifest.

Even though very short, this definition is all you need – it is the key to LoA. Think about it – you manifest what you feel deserving of and if you love yourself, you feel deserving of your desires, right? You feel that you were meant to have them. You know they’re possible for you.

Maybe this blog post was meant to serve as a simple reminder. I’ve been incredibly happy lately yet it makes perfect sense that I would be in the said situation not only because I wanted to be in it but because I have the most loving feelings in and all around it. It is where I want to be and my life hasn’t been the same since. If you love yourself, you will also be able to imagine yourself exactly where you want to be.

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Thought of the Day

When it comes to manifestation, you might be closer to your goal than you realize.

You might think you have no money only to discover that your bank account balance increased while you weren’t looking.

You might deem it impossible to imagine living the life you want only to find yourself indulging in related visualizations soon after and coming out a different, more positive person.

A simple change in your daily dynamics could help you realize how far you’ve come and what a positive person you genuinely are.

You might fear you will never attract the person you want to be with (back) into your life only to finally let go as a result, shift your awareness entirely and all of a sudden, manifest.

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Self-Love is Your Inner Strength, Relationship Confidence and Encompassing Personal Beauty

It is what you believe you have a difficult time manifesting that causes attachment in you.

Changing yourself to assume the lightness of character, endless self-confidence and unwavering belief is achieved with self-love. Those who doubt this notion haven’t tried engaging in self-love just yet.

And when it comes to manifesting love with somebody else, self-love is your starting point. Self-love is what makes you believe that you can live the kind of love you want and deserve with somebody else (or a specific person you have fallen in love with and want to be spending your life with).

In my life, I quickly got used to following my positive feelings while keeping my freedom; at the same time, I hadn’t always sought out love as much as I sought out fun. I was confusing love with attachment and thought that engaging in love meant that I would inevitably end up feeling trapped. This was my learning period and now that I read it, it sounds very juvenile. I was always just as honest with myself about my fears of boredom or anything else and knew I would open up to love when I decided to. I had made the mistake of thinking that love inevitably leads to boredom instead of deciding that I would be experiencing the kind of love I wanted immediately. That was a (very) quick overview of my former relationship outlook.

I genuinely thought, “What is so special about making a life goal out of getting married and having children? Anyone can do it! And when it turns into a goal, one runs the risk of lowering their criteria just to find someone to marry and reproduce with as soon as possible. Marriage and children should be a part of life, not the ultimate goal because what do you do after you’ve had them?”

See what I mean?

That is not to say I haven’t given love a chance with various types of men. I just knew it wouldn’t last but wanted to enjoy it while it did. In an odd way, this was also positive – I wanted to be in a happy relationship with someone I was mesmerised with, even if I knew my fascination with his goodness wouldn’t last. Eventually, the fascination ended and all that was left was appreciation (or a lack thereof) but it was appreciation sufficient for a friendship, not a loving relationship.

My need for freedom was caused by previous relationships in which I had felt suffocated and I needed to get over that. For as long as I confused love for suffocation, I would be trying to escape it instead of enjoy it.

The truth is that we are all free – love lasts for as long as it does and even if we cannot choose how long we will love somebody for, we can choose to always treat them with honesty and respect. You get what you give. Staying with someone if you don’t want to isn’t fair but being honest with them and allowing the both of you to move on with your lives is. You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to stand by your decisions, have integrity and have the strength to follow up, no matter how difficult it is for you. A decision is always one way – you can’t have it both ways and expect to be respected, by yourself or others.

I took a lot of heat for ending some of my relationships but knew it was the right thing to do. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and nobody was changing my mind. However, I didn’t take it personally. It didn’t matter who disagreed with me – I only relied on my own approval.

Self-love allows you to follow your heart because making the right love-based decision for yourself means making the best decision for everyone involved. If you know something is right for you, eventually it will have proven to be so for everyone involved, maybe even sooner rather than later. 

All these personal attitudes were formed either prior to or as a result of my starting to look at relationships as something easy and natural – I’m not sure what order it went in but it doesn’t matter. One of these factors inevitably leads to another as a happy and healthy outlook is formed. After all, relationships can only work when fuelled by love, no matter how or when it happens.

Those who fear relationships and break-ups see them as difficult parts of life, causing their minds and hearts to close off to them and prevent them from manifesting.

If you see something as difficult, causing you sadness or simply impossible, you are preventing yourself from manifesting it. Emotional openness, positivity and feelings of fulfilment are the energy that attracts your desires while difficulty and sadness cause you to close yourself off from having what you want. 

Difficulty leads to noticing that your desire has not manifested yet which leads to attachment. Instead, adopt an attitude of your desires being easy to manifest! Decide that this easy manifesting is to start this second and allow your life to finally change.

Using the Law of Attraction truly shows us that everything is connected. Now, we must use this connection to attract what we love into our lives by creating the most amazing environment for it to thrive in with our own feelings and expressions of love. 

Thought of the Day

Whenever I expect something to go well but it goes perfectly instead, it’s good to be wrong. 

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Your Belief and Organic Happiness

“You are in touch with everything that is natural to a human being – your mindset, mood, energy, feeding regimen, health, style and chosen methods of exercise prove it,” one of my closest friends said to me about a week ago. We talked about exercise because I had gone swimming the day before – being an avid swimmer, got an intense workout out of it. We talked about my love for the water and it being a natural element as well as one of my favorite surroundings; as the discussion progressed into my veganism, my friend said that he found my choices very natural and very easy to enjoy for that very reason.

“You can’t reprogram people’s minds for them – the best you can do is to teach them to focus on what they want instead of their fears and negative feelings, teach them to believe in themselves and let them do the work because we all create our own lives,” he said in addition.

What I do is tell them that they must be happily persistent in focusing on their desired realities instead of the current or their fears.

I was recently asked how to achieve focus on the positive instead of one’s fears by a reader in the blog comments section. Visualizing having what you want, allowing yourself to be happy about it without engaging in negative feelings and changing your focus to positive when negativity tempts you instead of worrying about all the what-ifs is the core of believing consciously.

When a lack of belief translated as engaging in fear or negative feelings becomes the center of one’s focus, attachment happens. Then, fears of not getting what one desires or the feeling of waiting are formed. This can be prevented by continuing to focus on one’s desire consciously, choosing confidence and self-love over fear.

Living a life of continuously prioritizing positive feelings over the negative creates a happy, confident and loving awareness.

I cannot describe how effective it is to imagine having what you want happily while ignoring your negative thoughts. Before you know it, imagining that you have what you want translates to your mind immediately firing back with “It’s mine already!” to any negative thought – when you commit to the gratitude for living your desired reality and ignoring your negative thoughts or dismissing them as powerless over you, things fall into place fast.

You must be strong enough to ignore your negative thoughts and you can achieve that with self-love.

If you continuously go back to engaging in doubt and notice that you still haven’t manifested what you want which makes you doubt even more, it is up to you to choose to believe instead. Belief allows for letting go while continuously being distracted and set back by negative thoughts shows disbelief and refusal to let go. If you believe, you don’t doubt while continuously doubting that you can have what you want shows that you don’t actually believe.

This reader also asked how to let go and my answer is, by engaging in what makes you happy already in addition to seeing your desired reality being yours. Once you have stopped engaging in negative thoughts and giving them any power, you will have let go to manifest.

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Specific Wording and Manifesting Relationships – Use YOUR Words to Create Positive Manifestations!

Let’s talk about manifesting relationships because I have always found that the correct internal verbal expression of those relationships (which is different for every single individual) leads to positive thoughts and visualization which lead to belief.

Do you prefer to tell yourself that your desired relationship belongs to you already or internally state that it is going to manifest soon?

Which specific wording suits you better?

Some feel unnatural believing their relationships belong to them already but do feel good knowing that everything will come together soon. Others feel great about knowing that everything has already been worked out on an invisible level and just has to manifest in reality. Others genuinely feel good knowing that a relationship might manifest or that it might not, whatever feels best – there is a great deal of individuals out there who don’t practice LoA consciously when it comes to relationships because they feel it ruins the element of surprise.

It doesn’t matter which of these groups you belong to – with positive wording, the wording that feels good to you, you can allow yourself to let go of your relationship to manifest.

Any positive wording you choose will instantly be followed by the feeling as well as spontaneous visualization of your desire as if it has manifested already; however, some prefer to say to themselves that the relationship belongs to them already while others like to say it’ll happen soon. Choose the words that feel good because feeling good leads to manifesting rapidly and effortlessly.

You can also opt for an expression that has no timestamp – without defining the manifestation time of a specific desire, you can use one of the two sayings I have suggested in the past:

“It’s happening right now!” or “It’s a done deal – thank You!”

Using one of these expressions is perfect for removing your thoughts from any specific time your manifestation might come about. You just know that it’s yours without obsessing about the details.

Timestamp-free expression of your desired relationship is perfect for you if your attachment to the relationship you desire is high enough to cause negative feelings.

Timestamp-free expression will remove your attachment. If you have been experiencing attachment so strong you are aware of it, commit to this new way of describing your desired manifestation today.

I have used the timestamp-free method on several occasions of attracting people into my life. This method is highly effective because it leads to knowing while removing the need to know when. Using this method will remind you that the sooner you let go, the sooner you will manifest and refusing to worry about “how” or “when” is going to allow for letting go.

Try it and you’ll see. And, of course, report back!

 

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When You Give Yourself the Help You Need…

When something in life upsets me, no matter how briefly, I am usually grateful for having someone supportive show up at the exact moment I have calmed myself down and reaffirm my belief that the situation will be resolved.

How does a situation such as this one usually go in your life?

The person to tell you that everything will be alright will either show up as soon as you have calmed yourself down or come sooner than that, bringing their calming and loving energy to help you.

In truth, we attract these situations and individuals, just like everything else. We either invite even more upsetting or loving and calming energy with our vibration and needs. If the same person keeps coming around to help, we are grateful for them. We are also grateful for those who offer to help.

We are particularly grateful for the moments in which worry fades away even when we fear the opposite happening.

Today, I attracted help from someone after I have decided that the situation in question was not a big deal after all. In fact, I expected to be much more irritated than I was. The annoyance that ran deep lasted only minutes which shows that consistent practice can turn anyone into a positive thinker.

It also shows that our thoughts don’t have to be perfect – they can be human. Like us.

When faced with upsetting moments, don’t beat yourself up. It happens. Don’t worry about how you might have attracted this circumstance but only look ahead with faith and trust instead.

 

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Thought of the Day 

For every desired manifestation, I only need to find the right affirmation.

With me, it’s not just about words – it’s about the right words.

The right affirmation triggers my being into most amazing visualizations, into the right visualizations.

How do I know they’re right? Because they reflect exactly what I wanted.

They make me feel the way I wanted to feel.

What Happens When You Start to Feel Good?

A significant outcome of one’s self-perception improving and self confidence growing together with one’s happiness is that moments of anger and annoyance pass rapidly, proving their insignificance and futility.

Those moments are a waste of time and suddenly, you are aware of it.

You come to understand that feeling good about yourself (and others) is the only thing that is worth your time.

Last week, I felt uncomfortable in someone’s company. This sensation only lasted a few minutes but after the impression wore off, I realized it wasn’t a big deal. There is no other way to put it – it wasn’t a big deal. When that happens, one comes to realize that it takes no effort to simply see the good in people; even if you do so for the most part, you can still encounter moments in which you feel uncomfortable in someone’s presence for whatever reason. However, as your self confidence grows in life, you come to see that a lack of comfort related to any person or issue appears very rarely.

Self confidence, comfort and awareness grow as you practice happiness and focus on the positive things about yourself. Then, you focus on the positive in others.

 You will start to see the evidence of this as soon as you begin to feel better about yourself. You will feel comfortable in almost any situation because you feel comfortable with yourself. 

Then, you will start to feel comfortable with everything you aim to manifest. And even though you will not engage in negative thoughts about others for longer time periods, you will naturally move yourself away from the individuals that don’t contribute to your happiness. 

 

IGNORING THE CURRENT REALITY

Some find it difficult to focus on their desires while their current reality continues to hurt them.

The way to ignore your current reality is to make the perception of your desired reality simply magical.

When you imagine living your desired reality, allow yourself to be happy. Just give in – it’s enough.