You Have to Focus on Yourself to Attract Your Person

Spring flowers pretty beautiful amazing Connecticut

In our friendships, family relationships, work, school and financial success, you already know that we want to feel deserving in order for Law of Attraction to manifest our desires. We also want to be able to clearly see ourselves living our desires, just as we could once see ourselves having everything we do now. Unless we live in happiness and self-confidence daily, it’ll be difficult to feel deserving of our desires or clearly visualize living them.

You are probably happy with your career or other areas while your love life causes you confusion. Why isn’t it equally easy? Why can’t you see yourself happily living the relationship you want? You easily attract money, great friendships and generally feel confident about yourself so why isn’t love the same? Are we meant to struggle, and why?

Usually, we struggle because we focus on the other person instead of ourselves, and begin to dwell on what they might be thinking, whether they like us or whether we can manifest a relationship with them. These questions are the cause of struggle, and we want to turn them into belief and self-confidence.

Today, your struggle is over. Your mindset will be re-framed, and you will easily begin to attract a better love life. You may have been trying to figure out how to create a love life that keeps you happy every day and live in the relationship environment of your dreams; you may have also been wondering why this hasn’t happened yet. You may be feeling positive for most of the day, only for your focus on your goals to get lost in worrying about the current reality by the evening. Why is your life, partially or fully, filled with things you don’t want? It can be upsetting, and you deserve the support.

You can achieve the kind of positive thinking you’ll just sail along in, and manifest your relationship with it.

If (a part of) your life isn’t filled with dream-come-true circumstances just yet, you are not feeling loving enough towards yourself or confident enough in your desire. In terms of LoA, self-love means believing your desires are inevitable, and confidence in your desires means thinking about them or visualizing them with love, knowing that you want those specific desires and nothing else.

With that, you must contradict any negative thoughts with an affirmation of your belief – decide that these thoughts are meaningless, and your desired direction is exactly where life is going to go.

Especially in a relationship manifestation, you have to put your desire of the next chapter in the first place. Then, decide and believe that your specific person wants to be with you! Decide that they want you because you make them the happiest they’ve ever been because you love them the right way, and treat them the best they’ve ever been treated – if you want someone’s love, you have to be prepared to give them yours. Make them feel special and you will feel good about yourself in the process.

You have to focus on feeling good about yourself in order to believe in the possibility of your desire! We usually feel poorly about ourselves when we focus on everyone else and ignore putting our own lives and confidence first.


All these examples rest in thinking positive about yourself and the person you chose – this is your priority, if you want to manifest a relationship with them and are sure that this is your true goal. I remember a relationship that ended in my mid-twenties. Moving on was much more important to me than getting back together – I wanted to be happy every day, having decided that moving on would get me there much faster. I had pinpointed my priority, as we should do in any manifestation because the more specific we are, the faster we manifest. Had my priority been to get back together, I would have to put myself on the pedestal. I would have had to praise myself, affirm my qualities and feel deserving of a miracle the Universe had the power to manifest but not without my belief. We have to rely on the Universe in this case, and not the behavior of “my person” in the current reality.

If a relationship is your priority, you have to focus on directing your thinking towards it. You should visualize and get used to thinking about “my partner/spouse” daily! Let “my partner/spouse” be the first thought you have when your person’s name comes to mind and your desire will begin to change rapidly. It will be miraculous and you should embrace that miracle.

What kind of mindset will help you achieve this focus? The better you feel about yourself, the better you’ll feel about the relationship so it all comes down to you. Everything you manifest is about your mindset, even a relationship with another person.


We attract everything. Everything. When we fear that our specific person will choose someone else over us, this isn’t something that’s happening outside of our control – this is something we are manifesting. Our person can be interested in someone else but the moment you affirm that they are only interested in you, you begin to attract it instead. Then, you must stay positive every day, throughout any circumstances. Visualize what you want to see, and you will soon see results.

If you want to be with someone, don’t analyze their every word. This is how misunderstandings happen. I have certainly seen people giving up on their significant others just to regret it later, and usually due to a perceived offense that had nothing to do with one’s true intentions. We often take the said offense and decide that the person is wrong for us after the first time they say the wrong thing but what if projecting our insecurities onto their intentions is the real problem?

Half or most of all marriages today end in divorce so maybe we should rethink our approach to love, relationships and communication. For one, maybe we shouldn’t give up on people so easily. Maybe we shouldn’t assume their motivations to be negative. Maybe we should assume everyone is simply doing the best they can.

Maybe we should take equal responsibility in the dynamics of any relationship; if we do, we will be able to focus on ourselves. Dwelling on what happened in the past ends when we take the responsibility for our part of it and only after doing so can we know whether or not we truly want to be with someone.

What happens if you’re unsure that the person you want can make you happy? The core of this question lies in being unsure of what you want. Only when you feel good about yourself will you know what you truly want. If the thought of being with your person fills you with love, manifest a relationship with them. If the thought of being with a different (kind of) person does, manifest that instead. However, even this takes self-focus first. You can’t even discover what you want without focusing on yourself, looking within and deciding where you see your happiness.

There may be days when attracting your relationship is not easy! But is it still worth it? Only you know the answer.


Why “Me” Time Matters

Enjoying “me” time removes need and excessive attachment to one’s desire, allowing them to enjoy their life fully and rapidly manifest entirely new miracles.

“Me” time is another positive concept which society has spun into negative, pegging it selfish and unnecessary. “Me” time allows you to reconnect with your essence and true desires, giving you a chance to be grateful for everything you have.

I love my personal time. Going to a spa, reading a book, watching movies, long walks, meditation, even shopping all by myself in some cases can give me exactly what I need. I love and deserve it; my private time reminds me of everything I love, have and deserve in life. You can feel the same way and you know it!

Much of my work is also created in private but that is an entirely different story.

Many Law of Attraction teachers advocate pampering oneself as a method of expressing self-love as well as raising awareness of one’s value. I absolutely agree.

When you start to treat yourself the way you deserve, you will only accept the same from others.

“Me” time allows you to raise your vibration as you remind yourself of how rich and wonderful life is.


Nothing raises my vibration as effectively as a song that describes my feelings. I’m a music fan that manifests the perfect song of the moment without effort and recommend this to everyone. So many of us love music and can use this extremely easy way of raising our vibration.

Personally, I can kill an entire day listening to the same song on repeat while going about my work and errands. Connected to my desire, this particular song gives me effortless visualizations and makes me happy, preparing me for receiving and living my desire.

Your private visualization time with music on makes for fantastic “me” time.

From Fear to Freedom

Reacting to one’s negative thoughts indicates one’s lack of focus on their desired manifestation. This means there is resistance present around the said manifestation.

Deciding that your desire belongs to you already is a choice. This choice means a change is going to be made in your life when your desire manifests. You will have a new addition to your life with this change – question is, are you ready for it?

Those who entertain their negative thoughts are certainly not, even if they want to be. They have not dealt with the following fears:

  1. The fear of not getting what they want unless it happens today or tomorrow, in the specific way they imagined it. Because of this, they focus on how their desire will manifest instead of “living as if.”
  2. They feel uncomfortable about getting what they want now. They fear it! This fear can be resolved or it doesn’t have to be – another choice one has to make.

You may have wondered why you show zero resistance to the thoughts that were not your first choice. On the other hand, you must remove resistance from the thoughts reflecting your first choice. This can mean one of the following things.

  1. A sign of uncertainty in your desire – you may be unsure that living your desire could truly make you happy.
  2. Falling into the comfort zone of negative thoughts and no action instead of showing willingness to accept your desire into your life.
  3. Rushing to receive your desire as soon as possible simply because you fear of losing your “chance” to have it. You are rushing to see it because you simply can’t see yourself having it – an action contradicting the entire Law of Attraction process which states you only have to see yourself having your desire in your life.

I manifest rapidly because I believe in having my desire already. I count on manifestation because I directly ask the Universe for what I wish to receive…and if I asked, I must receive. I feel great about having my desire in my life. I write down what I want because it increases my focus and allows me to let go easily. I believe that I can manifest what I want.

Negative thoughts are useful for discovering more about yourself, especially when examining why they appear, in terms of who you are. What do your usual fears and thinking patterns say about you?

The day I found out what my fears said about my relationship manifestations was one I’d never change.

I was once in a relationship that was insufficient in various ways. However, I wanted to be in one with the type of person my ex was yet failed to feel for him what one should feel for their partner. He was simply not everything I was looking for and I needed to learn the difference between accepting someone for who they were or considering them insufficient. (This happened almost ten years ago and I broke off contact with him afterwards, keep that in mind.) This particular relationship had implanted limiting beliefs in me which I later worked to resolve. I avoided the possibility of long-term relationships for some time because I believed something would always go wrong.

My dislike for my ex’s shortcomings was much stronger than my adoration of his qualities. I should have chosen a much more suitable person instead of someone who possessed about half of the qualities I was looking for yet lacked the other half. I stuck it out for as long as I was able to accept him.

I had to become aware of all the differences between genuinely liking someone, accepting them for who they are but not feeling enough for them and actually wanting to be with them. In order to do that, I needed to become aware of how I perceived myself. Why was I with him? How did our relationship make me feel in terms of how I already felt about myself?

I have corrected my limiting beliefs since. I stopped fearing that something would go wrong and started to live my relationships instead. I also learned how to correct negative circumstances in a relationship instead of using them as an excuse to leave. I admitted to myself that I had used some of the problems as a potential excuse to leave.

After leaving this relationship, something I never had a problem doing, I asked a friend,

“Is anyone going to love me this much ever again?”

She said,

“They will love you even more.”

She was right. I knew she would say so but I just wanted to hear it. Never neglect your friends, especially those with so much heart – they love you and want to be there for you.

You either want to be in a relationship with someone or, you don’t. To some of the problems we experience, we assign the role of a catalyst to the breakup process. However, the only catalyst is the awareness you have and the general perception you hold of the person you are with as well as your relationship with them. One problem does not cause a breakup but a culmination of problems manifested in a specific set of circumstances does.

I have no regrets.

My twenties were a learning experience because I wanted them to be. I simply thought that if I enjoyed the relationships and the men I chose for what and who they were, for as long as it lasted, I would learn invaluable life lessons.

I did.

There is an abundance of opportunities in the world. A relationship can recover from any problem with enough love. Question is, do you want to be in it?

I either want to be with someone exactly as they are and because of who they are or I would not want to be with them even in the perfect circumstances. When one is aware of this, of what they want, attracting it into your life becomes much easier.

This relationship and breakup allowed me to learn everything I needed to about the process of detachment from a desire. Detachment is necessary in order to manifest, as you already know, which means you must be convinced that your desire belongs to you already while you continue to live your life happily until it appears. The relationship itself had come together fast but I was able to leave it while realizing that I wanted to be a complete person all by myself or I would never truly appreciate another.

The most important part of this process happened at the start. After deciding to leave this relationship, I said to myself,

“Life can only get better after this – you already know that so why hesitate?”

This particular experience truly made me see that negative thoughts are pointless.

Happiness is the only thing that makes sense.

It can be difficult for me to describe why only confidence makes sense. Loving your life, admiring all the beauty in it, being certain that everything is going to come together the way you want, being open to living the life you love and feeling worthy of it, staying confident even around all the naysayers you come across, changing their negative energy to better without trying…

You are not used to life being easy; unfortunately for you, life is supposed to be easy. To clarify, “easy” means having the courage to live a heart-driven life. When you do so, you are driven by desire for happiness, making choices accordingly. Suddenly, you are able to let go of everything that prevents your personal happiness. You realize what matters and what doesn’t.

It doesn’t matter what happened in the past. Your focus can easily be maintained to the thoughts of your desire if your resolve to manifest them is strong enough.