Your casual Law of Attraction blog.
If instead of your true heart’s desire you accept one deemed easier to manifest, it isn’t fair to anyone involved.
If you should accept any goal you consider easier to manifest than your true heart’s desire, this isn’t fair to you or anyone else.
What we want wants us back.
The Universe wants to give you what you want.
Your true heart’s desire wants you just as much as you want it.
When it comes to manifestation, you might be closer to your goal than you realize.
You might think you have no money only to discover that your bank account balance increased while you weren’t looking.
You might deem it impossible to imagine living the life you want only to find yourself indulging in related visualizations soon after and coming out a different, more positive person.
A simple change in your daily dynamics could help you realize how far you’ve come and what a positive person you genuinely are.
You might fear you will never attract the person you want to be with (back) into your life only to finally let go as a result, shift your awareness entirely and all of a sudden, manifest.
If you are, it might be the reason you keep getting stuck, manifesting the same situations over and over again, without knowing how to break free and manifest what you want for a change.
Is shame the manifesting block you have been trying to pinpoint and overcome? If so, you are now on your way out of the darkness.
Being ashamed of something you’ve done or experienced is just another version of feeling as if you are not good enough; it is the fear of inadequacy that makes you doubt your own worth, power or ability to make life happen. That sense of shame can be strong enough to effortlessly keep you focused on your perceived mistakes instead of enjoying the visualizations of the life you want, making you feel like you don’t deserve that life because of the embarrassment endured.
This might read like a childish concept to some but many adults carry a burden of shame. The need to be better instead of accepting that you are good enough already and can be anything you want to be does not always vanish with age and maturity (if anything, the pressure to keep proving oneself often grows); however, it should. It should vanish in anyone of any age who is suffering from shame or a sense of inadequacy because we decide who we are and how we feel.
No one needs to be ashamed of themselves or their actions if those actions came from the heart and from the best of intentions to pursue one’s happiness. Those who feel ashamed of their actions which had hurt another human or living being can proceed to find self-love and self-respect after forgiving themselves for their actions, no matter what it takes…and anyone has the ability to take these steps.
Let’s discuss the root causes of shame and why it is self-inflicted. Let’s show exactly how and why one’s sense of shame can be permanently removed from one’s life.
First of all, I don’t believe in mistakes. Short of committing a crime, mistakes are non-existent. What we make are choices and for better or worse, who we are determines the choices we are going to make.
If you have made a choice that made you feel bad about yourself, you have already outgrown that sort of behavior and learned from it. You have already outgrown the choice you had made if you are sure that you would never make it again and for that, your experience might have just been worth it.
If your choice resulted in the shame connected with your perceived lack of ability to attract the person or the relationship you want, that limiting belief of your “lack of ability” is the problem, not the sense of shame it caused.
A sense of shame is always the result of a deep limiting belief that prevents you from manifesting your desired reality.
Look beyond the shame itself – look at what it is that makes you feel ashamed. Why do you feel ashamed? Therein lies the root of your problem, your self-imposed limiting belief. But how does that belief lead to shame in the first place?
Oftentimes, it is not the choice you made that was the problem but the way it made you feel. Most of the time, the reason you are ashamed is not as big of a deal as you fear it to be but the sensation it continues to cause inside you says something about your self-perception, self-confidence and a sense of self-worth.
For example…
The reason you might fear what the person you are interested in might think of you is because deep down, you already deem yourself inadequate. You have already made that decision about yourself and now you fear someone else mirroring it back to you. Do you see how it all starts with you?
You may have made a seemingly silly move but it’s important to remember that it’s not what you did – it’s how you feel about it. What seemed silly and embarrassing to you might have gone unnoticed by the person you have set your sights on and anyway, that’s not the point. Again, the question of why you feel the shame remains.
Do you think that you would only feel good about yourself if you were perfect? Is the need for perfection without which you feel inadequate the reason for the shame you carry around? Or do you feel that something you have done or experienced in the past has made you undeserving of happiness for the rest of your life?
If you feel that way, you must get rid of a deceptive idea that there are better or perfect people in the world. If you feel undeserving, you probably hold an idea of the kind of people who are more deserving than you; however, you must remember that these ideas are only in your head and nowhere near reality. You are not any less valuable than anyone else. Nobody in the world is better than you.
We are all worthy individuals, as we have stated on this blog many times. Try to respect yourself as much as you do some others and you’ll see how great it will make you feel. Know that if you decide that all your “shameful” moments are over and forgotten, you will stop reacting to the thoughts of them or completely forget about them just as everyone else will, too.
Trust me.
When you’re faced with negative thoughts, do the following.
A great deal of your personal appeal rests in keeping your personal attitude unaffected by all the negativity in the world.
I am not saying that you shouldn’t care about the world but believing in it instead of faithlessly criticising it not only contributes to your happiness but to your personal appeal as well. In addition, a positive attitude allows you to emit positive energy, making the world a better place almost without realizing.
An attitude of belief in improvement is appealing. A positive game plan is appealing. Passion is appealing!
Honesty is appealing and when it comes to positive individuals, honesty will reveal their personal appeal.
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Whenever you meet someone whose truly positive personality shines through, don’t you find yourself wanting to communicate with this person? Do you not find yourself wanting to be near them, feeling that their happiness somehow makes you happier?
Those who are genuinely happy attract even more happiness to them – this is the Law of Attraction. Who you are and what you believe in attracts more of the same into your life.
LoA is life and those who claim that life is just not that simple are doing nothing but making excuses for not having what they want and being who they want to be. Choosing not to be who you want to be also translates into awareness, as you know that you are simply not as happy as you could be. Accepting this particular awareness/self-perception will probably reflect on your life and manifestations in a negative way, as you will most likely believe that you can have some things you want but not others. However, that is up to you. Your life is your choice, entirely.
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Many were raised and taught to focus on the external world first and internal second. Throughout their lives, many have come to realize their attitudes shape their realities yet some fail to work on changing their attitudes. If you truly want to make yourself happier, you will do what it takes and not see it as hard work, if this is your true heart’s desire. It doesn’t have to be as difficult as you fear.
Whether or not you actually like yourself matters. You deserve to feel good about yourself and can only do so if you nurture genuinely positive feelings. No anger, no engaging in negativity, no hate – just love.
Face your fears – you’ll be happy you did. Take it one step at a time because skipping self work will result in life staying exactly the same instead improving.
The feeling of your desire missing from your life can be annoying, upsetting and can drive you into frantically working to change it in order to attract your desire instead.
I won’t even try to describe that feeling beautifully or eloquently because it isn’t; instead, this feeling is unpleasant and can lower your mood.
However, I am going to suggest several solutions for it.
When your goal in life is to be in a good mood no matter what you do and where you are, knowing that bad mood is a waste of time, you will automatically want to go out and do something for yourself. Every time you fall into the bad mood, you will automatically want to change it.
When you get bored, think about what you would like to do to fix your mood. When you feel low, treat yourself (I hate that expression but it works). Go out and buy something for yourself, treat yourself to a meal you love, have a bubble bath, remember all the wonderful people in your life or, one of my favorites, donate money. In any way to anyone you want. Giving is something that will instantly raise your vibration.
Remember all those LoA sources telling you to get in a good mood first and then, think about having your desire in order to attract it even faster. To that, I want to add that when you remain in a good mood, when it becomes your goal, you will manifest your desires fast anyway.
When this dark feeling comes to you, you can change it by training your brain to automatically think opposite thoughts. You can repeat affirmations, self-devised or any you have read and liked, training your mind to automatically go to the positive when you think of the negative.
You can always use the steps described here. You will notice the similarities.
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Why don’t you think you’re amazing?
I preach confidence non-stop because it makes manifestation easy. It helps you stay in a good mood. It makes everything in life easier. Many readers have told me they struggle with maintaining their confidence especially when manifesting relationships.
Confidence is a positive feeling, awareness and attitude. Confident individuals never judge themselves or others – one of the most important lessons we could ever learn. Confident people love their lives because they arrange them in all kinds of positive ways.
Now, do you love or need?
Loving the person you are allows you to love another. Feeling incomplete while thinking that another could complete you will inevitably trick you into thinking that you need them to be the person you always wanted to be.
Truth is, you don’t need anyone – relationships are a choice. You are capable of being happy on your own, allowing love to manifest into your life. Being happy on your own is also very healthy, allowing you to be the best possible partner to the person of your choice.
The most amazing partners are those who can be happy on their own.
When it comes to men and women especially, a difference in behaviors, reasons for those behaviors, habits and approach methods can cause a riff between the two sides, resulting in arguments and resentment. One side feels that the other should act a certain way if they care while the other feels that they did nothing wrong but lived their life while also building a potential relationship and expressed their feelings.
Let’s deal with the side of an intentional manifestation practitioner who wants to know their desired relationship is manifesting.
A manifestation practitioner who feels this way wants to see evidence of their desire manifesting now. However, letting go is the only way to see results now but instead, they incessantly check their phone, email and social media hoping to see something there.
They are displaying the need for their desire to manifest instead of love and trust that it will.
I know you know this by now but this is not criticism. We are simply discussing it because that type of behavior prevents you from manifesting your desired relationship. In addition, it prevents you from being happy now since looking for something that you feel is missing is enough to make you miserable.
The knowing of your desired relationship manifesting is inside you, not among the signs you receive or the reactions you get. All of those things follow your awareness.
You could do every couple thing with someone and still not be a couple. Or, you could not even have communicated with another for a long time and suddenly, you became a couple. You have to realize that this is where creation rests, not in the number of texts you receive.
This type of conflict happens between men and women for various reasons.
There was a period of my life when I entered relationships faster than you could blink. Not flings, relationships. I would be introducing my new boyfriend around, not caring whether or not I might want him a month from then. I was living in the moment. I was positive it was the right thing to do and I still am convinced it was so. I was enjoying loving feelings for as long as they lasted, expressing myself freely. I was going with the flow of the relationship. At the same time, I would see others in miserable long-term relationships yet staying together. I was in a long-term relationship once as well, for as long as I was happy in it. However, I manifest and have relationships when I want them because I don’t condition them to last forever. I want to be happy. I focus on the love instead of things that have nothing to do with a happy relationship. It can last or it doesn’t have to but let’s see how it goes.
However, not all my exes took that as lightly. After a while, one took me for granted, thinking a relationship would last just because he had found someone he wanted to settle down with. He thought I would stay with him just because we were together for a long time but I ended it because he had stopped trying. Once I knew I wanted out, I ended it. Two others expected that I would want a long-term relationship with them just because they did but had put their needs before mine. They thought I should give them what they wanted by default but relationships are a choice. I choose to be with someone or, not. However, they depended on me for their happiness and self-esteem. So, I left.
Do you see what I mean? Because this is something men and women have in common.
You cannot expect to only be happy around your specific person or with them in your life and expect to stay attractive to them. Why? Because depending on another for happiness doesn’t make you feel good either. You must have your own life, work, activities, hobbies, interests, purpose, friends and the things you love. You can share as much as you want with your specific person but not be practically incapable of living without them. This is especially important for women to know.
Trying to rush your manifestation frantically shows that you cannot feel good unless you have it in your life. This energy blocks it from coming just like depending on another for your happiness blocks them from seeing you as someone they want to be in a relationship with.
You don’t have to be superwoman – just a woman who feels comfortable with herself, values herself and loves everything she is, which gives her confidence. Only when you love you will you able to love another.
A happy relationship is created when you love the person enough to allow them to be themselves instead of wanting them to cater to your needs. A happy relationship is created when you think positively enough about the person to want to give to them and the relationship instead of thinking what they should want to give to you. Imagine wanting to spend time with them and wanting to make them happy!
Now, let’s talk about those of you who know that someone is “the one” for life. If I can be relaxed without needing a relationship to last, why couldn’t you be happy knowing you have found someone with him you will manifest a lasting relationship? You have it figured out so be happy! You know you can manifest this so why entertain the thoughts that make you miserable, such as those of you two being apart?
Do you see how many good things you have to look forward to? If you focus on them, you will allow the Universe to work out the details for you.
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A reader pointed out her area of struggle, believing her desire belongs to her already, saying:
“Would you please kindly address more how can I be sure myself that I can have it and how to gain that strong intention–”
I could once again say “capture the feeling of having it” or “visualize having it once and stick to it” but a permanent solution to this problem can be achieved by looking within and asking yourself why you don’t feel that you can have and live your desire.
Once you realize why you are blocking yourself from receiving your desire, why you believe to be undeserving, you can remember that we all manifest what we believe. Then, think about what you want to believe. How do you want to see yourself? Because the way you see yourself is the way others see you.
If you fear away from exploring your limiting beliefs, it will be difficult to manifest what you want. Some have told me they felt embarrassed after looking within and finding guilt, shame and an inferiority complex.
However, I have an easy answer which will make you see that exploring and resolving limiting beliefs can be easy.
You don’t have to be afraid or ashamed – nobody feels amazing every minute. Let a negative feeling go and move on. In the moments you feel less than great, you can again feel great when you stop pretending, admit how you feel and stop seeing it as a big deal or something embarrassing.
Be confident about your feelings, no matter what they are. I can openly say how I feel and move on. If I ever felt embarrassed, I would say it and as soon as I did, it went away. That was how I eventually lost the grasp of what embarrassment felt like. If I feel sad, I say it and feel better immediately. You could vocalize negative emotions with the purpose of releasing them and then move on from them.
You could also admit to someone you trust that you feel inadequate (including your fellow readers on this blog) and not only will they remind you of how worthy you are, you will feel that it is false as soon as you say it. As you explore your feelings, you will see how much there is in your life to be grateful for and feel positively about. You are surrounded by people who love you and you have so much! You cannot put all of life’s importance to a desire you are now wanting to manifest. You have to be complete before it comes to you.
Awakening all of these ideas inside you is enough to make you see that you can have anything you want but have to have a life outside of it, too. Clinging to a desire too much makes you feel like you don’t have it, blocking your desired manifestation. However, realizing there is no reason to cling to this desire is very important. You already have a rich life.
If you could see yourself as rich, valuable and colorful as you want to be, you will easily accomplish your goals. Confidence is the answer to everything, if you ask me. Tell yourself you are ready to receive and live your desire and then, visualize having it. Thank the Universe for it, let it go and in the moments of doubt, remind yourself that since you asked for your desire, you must receive it because the Universe knows what you want. You have to trust it to give you what you want – that way, you are allowing it to do the work for you.
There is only the “having” or the “missing” of your desire in/from your life.
When aware of having your desire, you feel secure, happy and are able to let go (to manifest).
When you feel your desire missing from your life, your brain keeps elaborating on that idea, producing more of the “not having.” Fear, negative scenarios and doubt are mere manifestations of the same awareness.
If you change any negative belief into a positive one, the idea of having your desire leading your awareness, your brain will soon produce even more thoughts of “having it” which will ultimately lead to manifestation.
Feeling that you need any desire you may have will lower your vibration. Remember that as a rule, warning you of what to avoid.
Obviously, you want to avoid lowering your own vibration yet it happens, usually as a result of falling into negative thoughts, missing something or someone.
Wanting something you are currently missing provides a problem for your mind. Noticing the absence of your desire can cause attachment – another form of need for your desire to manifest, making it impossible to arrive.
Needing leads to more of the same. Feeling confident in having your desire already leads to its manifestation.
NEED VS. LOVE
Observe the difference between the following scenarios.
You have chosen a specific person. You wanted your mind blown and they live up to the task, making your head spin already. They are captivating, independent, joyous, smart and simply beautiful. They seem different, interesting, and they seem to love their life. Taken by these positive feelings you are experiencing, you’ve attracted various interactions with this person, from conversations to possibly even a date. Now, you want even more of their time since they seem to make life even better and because you deem them perfect, you are overthinking how to proceed. Any idea you have is followed by indecision, lack of self-confidence and your uncertainty that you can match their luminous quality. Your insecurity becomes obvious to them, causing them to distance themselves from you or place you in the friend zone. They still respect you but things aren’t moving in the direction you would prefer. You deem them too smart, gorgeous and interesting, thinking they might not see the same in you while in reality, you only reaffirm that you don’t see yourself as such. Or, you idealize them. You want their love as an overall validation, proving all the naysayers wrong and proving to yourself that you can do anything. You might think they’re as impressive as you want to be. You probably see them as beautiful as you want them to see you. Whichever of these possible scenarios you experience, you will ultimately become less and less interested in their true feelings and increasingly worried about why they don’t love you. Does that sound like real love and appreciation? Does it even sound like you are connecting with their true vibration? Do you really want to know them or just want them to fulfill your needs, especially those you have to fulfill? Because nobody can truly give you what you don’t feel within.
You think this person is too good to be true. You feel the need to be with them and end up disappointed. You failed to connect with the true essence of this person, idealizing them instead of truly wanting to know them. You thought they were too good to be true yet they are good enough just the way they are…and so are you. The only problem is, you weren’t ready to truly connect with them, probably fearing disappointment and your fantasy crushed. Yet that fantasy is not the same as a relationship.
On the other hand, how do you feel when you know that you can have anything, including the exact relationship you want? When you know, you feel amazing! You don’t feel the need for your specific relationship but only love that it’s a done deal, appeared already or will appear soon, however you perceive it in the moment. You think about it for as long as it makes you happy, moving onto something else when you feel like it. When negative thoughts and fears come up, you examine the reasons for them or ignore them because you know they’re false. However, if you choose to examine them, you do so because you want to be the person you admire which requires self-honesty. You want to know what your fears are telling you and face them so they would disappear. You feel good because your life is exciting, fulfilling and fun; you have other things to think about besides your relationship, just like your specific person does. You both love your lives and want to share them with each other. You know that what you want is yours. You are capable of relaxing and doing what makes you happy because it is the way to your desire. You feel great about yourself and cannot wait to share that with your specific person while enjoying them share their life with you in return. It’s very possible you don’t care what other people think of you. When enjoying life that much, you attract even more amazing things and people into it. They pay attention to you because happiness is attractive. Your vibration is high and you love it. Why would you ever lower it?
What happens after you absolutely know your desire belongs to you? This feeling is butterfly-inducing at first and is in itself spectacular.
I love spectacular manifestation stories – the spectacular part rests not only in the manifestation itself but also living with it every day. If you feel that your desire is spectacular simply because you would love to live it, so will be the story. The spectacular part lies in the sharing, giving, feeling and experiencing everyday life. If you don’t see the spectacular in what you do and who you want be with every day, you are missing the point.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?
After a while, you fail to understand why you ever had negative thoughts and wasted your time with them. As useful as they may be in uncovering limiting beliefs, it is time to say goodbye to (reacting to) them afterwards.
Facing and ridding yourself of negative thoughts works. However, their solving has to hold the purpose of replacing those negative thoughts with positive ones – you are resolving your negative thoughts in order to be able to only focus on the positive life you want to live.
If you only get rid of your negative thoughts but don’t form new, positive beliefs to take their place, what’s the point? In that case, you’re also focusing on what you don’t want instead of thinking about what you do want. Not knowing what you want to create leads to negative thoughts! You are not making a point of keeping focus on having your desire already if you see this process as exhausting or “work.” However, that shows your level of love and attachment to your desire.
If you are having a hard time imagining that you have your desire and loving the idea, do you really want it that much?
This is the crucial question you must ask yourself – do you think it’s possible for you to truly be happy with your specific person? Do you think they could be a great partner? Do you want to make them the happiest they’ve ever been?
Do you believe they can make you happy?
Manifesting a relationship should feel easy in order to manifest quickly and easily. In theory, imagining yourself with the person you want should only be filled with love. Feeling negatively about the person you want literally means contradicting laws of the Universe and is a reason you feel upset with yourself.
If you are upset with your specific person, you are upset with yourself over some scenario of not being good enough.
If upset about the past, you are upset with yourself for it – for blaming yourself when it happened, attracting it in the first place, tolerating it when you shouldn’t have or being too weak to leave when it was time.
And, you know it.
Now, you can forgive yourself for it; you know what to do and are starting over. You are happy. When manifesting a specific relationship, choose someone you want to make the the happiest they’ve ever been. Find them fascinating exactly for who they are. Know they are going to make an amazing partner. If you feel this way, you will be able to see yourself with them easily, removing the need for the relationship and manifesting it into your life.
The only part you really need to control is your belief. Then, maintaining your vibration will be easy.
