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Girl Talk: How Positive Feelings Lead to Specific Positive Experiences in Dating and Relationships

The other night, I was in a deep discussion with a friend as we were driving around the city at 2 a.m.. Sharing experiences of recent and not-so-recent encounters with men, her accurate grasp of relationships absolutely amazed me.

Insightful and astute, my friend instantly pinpointed the gist of any story she or I shared. I was humbled in the most amazing way, in adoration and respect of this fresh mind – not perspective but the mind itself, as she managed to angle her perception any which way in order to reach the necessary answers. Her mind was just flawlessly on.

My own mind wasn’t entirely on that particular night. I found myself drifting from jokes to listening without responding verbally, focused as my listening was. The night was fun but after a while, I wanted to change my current state of mind. My moments of disconnect happen rarely but I have long decided to own them when they do, admitting to thinly veiled jokes and my entirely honest thoughts. Calling it as I feel it, I feel better when I admit it anyway. Secrets have no use and pretence has no place in a happy and more importantly, free individual’s life.

Keeping secrets is a burden, mostly when you keep your own…and every individual pretending to be someone else keeps the biggest secret of all. Avoiding authenticity has no place in happy relationships and if you wish to attract them, loving and accepting yourself fully is what attracts love and acceptance from your desired partner, even in moments of disagreement.

Pretending to be anyone other than who you are equals keeping a secret.

My friend openly expressed her current views and faced the evolvement of her situation with acceptance and positivity; much to her glee, she experienced a positive turnaround less than an hour after I dropped her off. In regard to one particular discussion, she opened my mind – a gesture I was immensely grateful for. In another discussion, her kind words appealed to my already open heart.

She had made me think.

My friend attracted what she wanted by accepting the current reality for what it was, feeling good about herself and the other person, and lovingly imagining the future.

She helped me back into my sense of inner peace which I attracted with her help.

Best part, this discussion didn’t even seem heavy. I am used to feeling so light that either anything feels light or what feels heavy I apologize for bringing up but this was serious yet normal, natural and typical of the way life goes. It was comforting and positive.

I am a person with specific preferences that knows what she wants. I like my mind clear and respectfully expressive which usually leads to rediscovering that most people aren’t used to honesty. When it comes to relationships, I also experienced moments of thinking that a profoundly happy love was the simplest thing to ask for yet the most complicated goal to achieve but when I say moments, I literally mean moments – my positive mind would allow me to snap out of it momentarily and remember what I believed instead. Fleeting is not a problem as long as it doesn’t equate one’s core belief (and then, it isn’t fleeting anyway). That night, my friend reminded me of my goals instead of allowing me to indulge in short-term distractions. She helped me out of that moment and back into my positive thoughts while her story inspired me.

My relationship goals are my core and mental distractions are temporary – I feel like I’ve been coming to terms with this particular lesson since the beginning of the year.

My friend also reminded me of something unexpected – when faced with conflicted thoughts, talking them out helps. I prefer talking about my conflicted thoughts to be as brief as possible, never going into overtime, as my fastest track to their (dis)solution tends to be calling them what they are and moving forward. Indulging in them has never made me happy and I doubt it ever could. Indulging in negative thoughts is nothing but mental hibernation.

Those who indulge in negative thoughts about relationships continue to attract the same type of person and relationship over and over. If you are currently attracting the type of person and relationship you don’t want anymore, you simply must change focus.

My friend had – starting off conflicted about her relationship, she eventually began to feel good about it and manifested its improvement. She attracted improvement with the same person.

I needed to self-improve that night and she helped me. I am a better person for it, as I have faced and resolved my latest annoyances with her help.

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Positivity Equals Maturity, Maturity Equals Confidence and Confidence Equals Appeal – Why?

When we stop expecting drama, does that mean we have actually grown up?

Does expecting abundance and peace around us instead of life’s curveballs void of personal growth potential but dramatic to the core mean we have finally figured out what it’s all about?

Does expecting the best instead of expecting the road to get bumpy mean we are ready to live at peace with ourselves, our minds and other individuals, and feel love for life while knowing that our dreams belong to us?

Does a desire to happily coexist with others mean that we are ready to love ourselves and everyone else?

Yes.

Because to me, positivity is maturity. Inner peace is maturity. Maturity is emotional stability which is both happy and attractive. When you’re at peace with yourself, don’t you just see the light and realize how much you have to offer, focusing on what you have instead of what you are lacking?

All these questions have a lot to do with your inner peace, your natural happiness and your appeal to other people, including those you have set your sights on.

I feel that being positive but calm about my desires, firm in my knowing, eager to create beauty and excited about my days makes me an amazing person. 

You are attractive when you’re stronger than your negative thoughts. You feel attractive, making you attractive to others. You feel comfortable with yourself which makes you attractive to others.

Life’s too short not to love ourselves.

Life is too short not to love those we do instead of being perpetually annoyed with them. If only there was a goal to all the drama but there isn’t which means that those who attract drama probably actually like it. It’s comfortable. It’s familiar.

You have to know what would make you feel like an amazing person and just be it. Just decide to be it and start. If you feel like an amazing person, others will feel the same about you.

In the past, I had a different idea of what made me an amazing person. Much of it was the same with a dramatic aspect involved – that’s how I know that maturity actually equals peace.

Expecting the best is maturity, especially from the people we love including those we fall in love with. Putting aside the expectation of drama from another person also makes you attractive to them – those who seek and expect drama approach others with drama which is unattractive by default.

Maturity does not mean boredom; maturity means appeal, emotional stability, self-confidence – the sexiest trait of all – and the ability to have fun without attracting drama.

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Thought of the Day

When it comes to manifestation, you might be closer to your goal than you realize.

You might think you have no money only to discover that your bank account balance increased while you weren’t looking.

You might deem it impossible to imagine living the life you want only to find yourself indulging in related visualizations soon after and coming out a different, more positive person.

A simple change in your daily dynamics could help you realize how far you’ve come and what a positive person you genuinely are.

You might fear you will never attract the person you want to be with (back) into your life only to finally let go as a result, shift your awareness entirely and all of a sudden, manifest.

Thought of the Day

Successful manifestation is all about starting to believe you’re an individual for whom life is just easy and to whom success comes naturally. You know you deserve it.

Change your core, change your life. 

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When Positivity Faces Annoyance

When you transform the core of your personality to positive, to being a positive individual, your periods of succumbing to annoyance naturally last briefly.

As a positive person, I can tell you that this is true. I might spend a day annoyed at someone about something but the next day, two days at most, I will see that it wasn’t as bad as I had perceived it and learn to understand the other side – I will see that it wasn’t the big deal I had gotten irritated about (and it only gets easier with age! Says I. At thirty two.).

For example, you might have that one friend whom you chose to talk about your work several times by now but he or she always gives an answer completely unrelated to your question. It’s like this person doesn’t even listen or is only interested in sounding smart even though they have no idea what they’re talking about. How would they, when they repeat and answer what you never actually said? You know how insecure this person is yet you know their insecurity should not be getting the best of your friendship because that is neither truly tolerant nor fair to you. Do yourself a favour and instead (or, regardless) of being annoyed with yourself for even being friends with someone so exhaustively insecure, step away from this relationship for a (little) while. This person probably cannot handle being around confident people so take your confidence elsewhere, at least in part; you could either take some space or still spend time with this person but maybe stop talking to them about work in this case, sticking to the subjects that usually produce positive communication between the two of you instead. It’s all up to you and what you want.

See what I mean? I’m pretty sure many will be able to relate to this example.

If you do make an exit, do it quietly because causing an argument would make you feel rotten even though you are right for taking some time away from this person. Be nice and walk away. You have the right to seek out new friendships that suit you better.

Profound insecurity brings damage to your life, happiness, well being and the lives of those around you. Whereas this type of insecurity is common and nothing to be judged, especially considering the beliefs one’s family and close ones might have been feeding them consistently during childhood, at some point we must realize that as adults, we are responsible for our own happiness. No matter what we’ve been through, holding onto personal displeasure is going to lead to an unhappy life.

Thing is, a person who is positive to the core naturally either steps away or doesn’t even have a reaction to an occurrence like this until they have been annoyed enough times to finally react. Which of the people mentioned above do you wish to be? You have all the positivity you need in you already. Your friend will continue to let their insecurity lead them and you will have moved away and onto much more positive individuals; adding people like these to your life will not go unnoticed by those attempting to downplay your success, especially as they gradually find themselves becoming phased out. I am not saying you should exclude anyone you care about from your life but I am saying that people subconsciously move away from those who bring down their mood. This puts manifesting in perspective, doesn’t it? Negativity keeps all the things you want away while positivity brings them to you. This is also why your desire to manifest a relationship with someone you feel negatively about keeps that person away from you, even if you don’t live near them or see them often; energy works on an invisible level and our feelings can’t be seen or touched even though the way they are felt shapes our realities.

Just like that, you can attract anyone from anywhere into your life simply by nurturing positive, loving sentiments about them…and positive individuals find themselves effortlessly positive when it comes to those who appeal to them.

And that’s how it goes. Positivity ignores annoyance and if you go out of your way to cause that annoyance, you might lose the presence of some positive individuals in your life. Even if you are a generally positive individual, harboring negative feelings about a particular person or aspect of life will only create problems. Don’t turn yourself into a negative person – focus on positive thinking and self-love, and you will find yourself attracting others easily.

Do You Still Remember This Little Manifestation Method?

Stepping into an entirely new life can be scary if you don’t look forward to it. This is why positive thinking, positive attitude and positive awareness help you and why LoA responds quickly when you feel happiness and love for your desired life.

If you look forward to manifesting your desires instead of being afraid, you will be open to it. Fear is a block that prevents you from manifesting and an uneasy attitude towards your desired manifestations prevents them from happening.

Among many of its benefits, writing down your new, desired life can help you keep focus and with that, resolve your fears.

When you make a list or write down your new life in any other way (an article, a story etc.), rereading that list holds your focus immediately or gradually pulls it towards your dreams. The happier you are, the faster your dreams will manifest.

Often, it isn’t that one cannot imagine having what they want – it is that they fear their life changing, actually manifesting their desire and then being disappointed with it.

I know how that sounds but we all know it’s true. Writing down your desired life as you want it to be, as if you were living it now, can ease you into the idea and gradually remove all your fears. As you reread the tale of living your desired life, you will have gotten used to the idea then understand it isn’t a big deal.

Many fear receiving what they want then things going wrong. They fear getting hurt as soon as they allow themselves to be happy. I have seen this many times – it happens because fearing success and happiness is deeply embedded  in many. Having grown up to feel guilty about everything they have because others don’t have as much, many still struggle to accept everything they deserve. They listen to their fears instead of their desires.

It is important to understand that having all the happiness you want can only make you a better person, not worse. When you’re happy, you help others. You want to see everyone just as happy and you help them get there. Giving love makes everyone happy.

Before stepping over into their new life, one must be ready. They must be ready for their new work, new lifestyle, new friends, new circumstances, new love. A change that big can sound intimidating but getting used to it leads to feeling love for it. Writing down your desire helps you with acceptance, feeling natural about living it and becoming ready for it.

Love leads to courage.

Courage leads to happiness.

Acceptance leads to love.