NEVER LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY FOR MANIFESTING YOUR DREAM LIFE

Thinking that self-love is selfish will keep you on the sidelines, watching others succeed while you’re lacking self-belief.

I remember this girl I went to school with. She didn’t care for any material possessions above the necessary, and pegged those who valued them as self-absorbed. She didn’t see the value in taking care of one’s appearance either; worst of all, she never thought that someone was a redeemable individual if even one facet of their personality consisted of caring about looks or luxury. She never said anything along the lines of, “Everyone has the right to choose how they live and what they spend money on” but when describing classmates, she would say, “She only cares about buying new clothes and make-up!” or “He gets away with everything because he knows how to manipulate others – he’s just a taker, not a giver, and cares about nothing meaningful, just his appearance.” I somehow didn’t think that judging others for their preferences made her a better person. What if those that she looked down on were simply living as if and manifesting their dream life? She was unfamiliar with their personal backgrounds or the reasons for their choices. She was unfamiliar with their personalities, judging only what she saw as if there was nothing else.

In those years, money wasn’t associated with self-love in a socially acceptable way; twenty years ago, it was a different world. Some were always grateful for their wealth and knew that they deserved it, while others quietly felt guilty about their own financial means. And then, there were those who simply didn’t care about money. I attended three different high schools in three countries, on two continents – my family moved due to my father’s work, a lifestyle I absolutely loved! – and in the culture of this one, money and power were seen either as something respected but not discussed or as the root of all evil, depending on who you asked. If one respected themselves enough to know what kind of lifestyle they deserved, they would not verbalize it out of fear of offending those who didn’t live such a life already, as if that meant they never could. It was rude to suggest that one’s circumstances were a result of the Law of Attraction in any way, even though energy and awareness (which decide what LoA gives us) create our entire lives.

In this culture, one’s choices didn’t exist in the idea of life creation. Life wasn’t created – it was given by either fate, God or another entity with intentions of its own. The only acceptable mindset stated that things in life are either given to the “lucky” or withheld from the “unlucky.” Therefore, according to my former classmate, money was unfairly given to those who have it, and unequivocally so, whether they were born into it or created a seven-figure business. The nicest people she knew, she would say, were the ones who deserved money the most but had the least of it, so it was the duty of life to level the playing field and be obliged to give some struggle to the “lucky” because it wouldn’t be fair otherwise. Once struggle came, one was to advertise all their failures openly, because humility must have no bounds. She had confused the idea of humility with self-deprecation.

We occasionally conversed at school the way I did with most classmates. When she asked about my life and I had no struggles to report that moment, she would tell me I was hiding things because most of her stories would lead with some type of struggle. It needed to be omnipresent in her world. I saw nothing wrong with her life but rehashing life struggles was her idea of bonding. She would occasionally call me a positive thinker but glorify herself to be a “realist.” This was an especially sore subject when it came to the Law of Attraction or as I described it during those years, “willing things into being.” (I didn’t know the term “Law of Attraction” until it had become part of the mainstream. I never thought about what it was called. It matters that we use it, not what we call it. It matters that we enjoy visualization and our decisions instead of analyzing our place in the current reality. I never called LoA by name but simply described my process of believing and receiving.)

Even in this culture, I openly shared my viewpoints. When I told her I believed my family would travel, move and live in different countries, a lifestyle that had begun to manifest three years prior, she informed me that my thoughts had nothing to do with it. I explained my mindset and she disagreed once again, so I nodded and said, “Okay.” If she believed I hadn’t created my own life, that was her right.

But my reaction upset her.

She didn’t like that I agreed to disagree, and had no problem being alone in it. Like many, she was upset to find out that respect in life is earned, in this case by being capable of disagreeing politely. That people didn’t owe it to her to agree with her ideas. So she attacked my disagreement with her belief system. She had seen me as entitled but was irritated when I didn’t accept her viewpoint, as if I owed her my compliance. I found her mindset ironic.

This was when I realized that many individuals do not want to encounter those who disagree with them. They don’t want their ideas about life challenged, even if it could lead to a better reality. They want to keep seeing money as the root of all evil unless it were to suddenly be given to them; receiving what they spend time knocking down would suddenly change their mind about fairness in the world, an idea that goes against LoA which dictates appreciation for our desires before manifestation.

You may wonder why I hadn’t put in an effort to empower her. I write this blog to life coach, and teach everyone to create their dreams.

It was because she was negative. A veil of negativity over one’s words and actions will drive people away. This is human nature and a principle of energy. Parents can drive their children away by continuously tearing down their dreams. Lashing out at your specific person will drive them away, even if they were in the wrong. No one wants to be surrounded with negativity, and your specific person won’t deem you worth their time if negative exchange persists. You have your limits but so does your person, and you will eventually have to start thinking well of them if you want to manifest your relationship.

Think about this – would you start a relationship with someone if your conversations and mutual presence, your energy exchange, didn’t make you feel good? Neither would your special person. Most of all,

Investing in any kind of negativity is a waste of time. Whatever we spend time on is an investment, whether a positive or a negative one.

A year later, I was enrolling in another high school, in a new country. Before I moved, my former classmate had been curious about my new destination yet seemingly relieved to go back into her undisturbed awareness. I didn’t hold it against her but never wanted us to be friends. She thought I needed to agree with her; I did not think she was ever required to be happy for me.

Loving yourself means guarding your inner peace, and ignoring those who are intent on disturbing it.

But I did think that only those happy for me deserved a place in my personal space. Those who can be happy for others have positive hearts and find ways to thrive in their own lives. They possess natural confidence and find things to love in the world. In turn, their lives flourish with blessings because LoA gives them what they feel and radiate. They add beauty to the world.

Having the life you want does not oblige you to justify yourself. You have the right to talk about your life. You have the right to refuse talking about it. You have the right to not feel guilty for manifesting money, trips, an entire lifestyle or relationships with specific people. Those who tell you that you should feel guilty would not feel so themselves if they were in your shoes. There is much hypocrisy in the world, and some believe you don’t deserve what you have but that they would. This is why you shouldn’t allow anyone to induce guilt into your life.

And you should not feel guilty about thriving, for any reason or person. Their insecurities are not your problem.

WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF AN UNDESIRABLE WORK OPPORTUNITY

As most of you know, I travel to, stay in and work from different countries but in the recent years, I have set up camp in my birthplace to which I return after each trip. Just like in various others, I have taken jobs in Zagreb, Croatia that were all speaking, workshop giving and seminar teaching engagements.

I recently wanted to manifest another collaboration opportunity here. Let us begin.

As I have said before, the first opportunity won’t always be the one when manifesting a specific goal. If you’re manifesting a job, your first interview or offer might not be what you want and it is up to you to stay positive and keep going. If you’re manifesting your ideal appearance, maybe it’ll come together one step at a time instead of all at once. If you’re manifesting your soul mate, it might not be the first person you go on a date with (but it also might!).

And as I was reminded, the first opportunity you stumble upon might be a complete opposite of what you want in a work engagement.

Since the field of education in this city is an efficient network and I taught university seminars for students and professors for two years, I was referred to another private school for a similar opportunity. They were looking for someone to give a lecture or a workshop in CV writing and interview skills, and I was given an email address for the person in charge. I wanted to be offered lecture dates with satisfying compensation I am used to receiving so I sent an email detailing my work experience and professional goals.

Twelve hours later, I received a reply. The person in charge of booking the lectures outlined exact demands my work experience was perfect for. We both agreed that the needs of this school were exactly what I offered but their email was concluded with the following lines.

“I must tell you though that our school does not offer compensation for these lectures. 🙂 ”

Yes. They put a smiley face at the end of that sentence.

“So, what do you think? Kind regards!”

I was baffled.

A private school in which students pay tuition on a regular basis wanted to hire a lecturer willing to work for free. What did I think? In the following email, this individual proved to be made aware of the unappealing terms but at the same time, those terms were not up to them.

After a few seconds of laughter, I realized I wasn’t even all that surprised. Local organizations offering fair compensation and looking for exceptional candidates are well aware of ones like this damaging the reputation of everyone in the field. One of the people that referred me to this position was borderline outraged, having been unaware of these terms.

I declined the offer with the following statement.

“Thank you for your email but given the terms, I will have to pass on this opportunity.”

Not to mention that the word “opportunity” evoked sarcasm in my mind.

Unless it’s valuable volunteer work, a private university that values their collaborative force so little is of no interest to me. To be fair, they didn’t reach out to me – I reached out to them after being referred to them. I thought they might be my next collaboration opportunity, a desire not specific to a country, city or school, but maybe this means I should get more specific in my goal and I will reach it faster.

Looking at it from the point of view of both the Law of Attraction and peculiar business practices, I find it very interesting that a private university whose staff routinely complains about a lack of quality in the skills of their student body isn’t willing to invest in someone who would improve those skills. And what are those students paying tuition for, if they are not getting the skills they need by the very admission of their own university?

I wanted to point some of these things out because quality of education and fair compensation are highly important topics in today’s world, as they have been at any point in history. But in the spirit of why we’re here on this blog, we could argue their Law of Attraction skills or we could argue mine. They give nothing and then complain about having developed nothing in their students. I will keep going and soon receive everything I asked for, just like I always do.

You get what you give – LoA tells us that every day. Last university I worked with in this city gave me one of the most valuable experiences of my life and having had such experiences, I wasn’t going to let this one take advantage of me. Unless you value yourself, how can others see your worth? What you accept for yourself sends others a message of the kind of treatment you deserve.

I am having new ideas on collaboration manifestations as we speak.

Keeping Focus on Your Ultimate Goal

Since I mentioned this in my last few blog comments, I will elaborate on it now.

Some find themselves to be capable of keeping a limited amount of focus on their end goal while overthinking its potential development or painful past experiences in the meantime.

Several times, I’ve manifested using the following set of personally devised steps.

  1. Capture the feeling of having/living your desire now. See yourself in it. Dare to feel overwhelmed with love, having received your desire. Feel it! Then, say “Thank you.”
  2. Ask the Universe to give your desire to you and then, thank the Universe for having received it. You will end up using almost the exact same words for both. I think both of those because I know that as soon as I ask, my desired reality is created. Then, the only thing left is to receive it.
  3. Every time you feel tempted to entertain your negative thoughts (if you do at all), remember that since you asked for your desire, you must receive it.
  4. Whenever you want to (if you do), remember the feeling of having/living your desire from step one. If you would rather let go completely and forget about your desire until it manifests, you can.

This exceptionally brief series of steps often allows me to manifest within six, twelve or twenty-four hours. Other times, immediately, depending on the desire in question or how quickly I let go/am ready to receive what I had asked for.

WHY FOCUS ON YOUR END GOAL?

For one, focusing on the path your desire takes to manifest into your life will only lower your vibration. You will most likely want it to manifest faster, losing grasp on the gratitude you should feel for it.

Instead, be grateful that your desire is coming to you. Be grateful for your reality of living it, which will manifest soon.

Another reason why you should stop thinking about the path of your manifestation is your awareness of not having it yet. You can playfully imagine how it might happen but not cling to any of those ways.

Focusing on the “how” part can induce a sense of fear almost effortlessly. In my case, I don’t want to know how my desire will manifest – that part holds amazing surprises so why spoil it?

Be open to the most amazing surprises of your life! Be confident in yourself because you are unique and beautiful. Admire the person you are!

All of this sounds so simple only because it is.

Why “Me” Time Matters

Enjoying “me” time removes need and excessive attachment to one’s desire, allowing them to enjoy their life fully and rapidly manifest entirely new miracles.

“Me” time is another positive concept which society has spun into negative, pegging it selfish and unnecessary. “Me” time allows you to reconnect with your essence and true desires, giving you a chance to be grateful for everything you have.

I love my personal time. Going to a spa, reading a book, watching movies, long walks, meditation, even shopping all by myself in some cases can give me exactly what I need. I love and deserve it; my private time reminds me of everything I love, have and deserve in life. You can feel the same way and you know it!

Much of my work is also created in private but that is an entirely different story.

Many Law of Attraction teachers advocate pampering oneself as a method of expressing self-love as well as raising awareness of one’s value. I absolutely agree.

When you start to treat yourself the way you deserve, you will only accept the same from others.

“Me” time allows you to raise your vibration as you remind yourself of how rich and wonderful life is.

OTHER METHODS

Nothing raises my vibration as effectively as a song that describes my feelings. I’m a music fan that manifests the perfect song of the moment without effort and recommend this to everyone. So many of us love music and can use this extremely easy way of raising our vibration.

Personally, I can kill an entire day listening to the same song on repeat while going about my work and errands. Connected to my desire, this particular song gives me effortless visualizations and makes me happy, preparing me for receiving and living my desire.

Your private visualization time with music on makes for fantastic “me” time.