It is what you believe you have a difficult time manifesting that causes attachment in you.
Changing yourself to assume the lightness of character, endless self-confidence and unwavering belief is achieved with self-love. Those who doubt this notion haven’t tried engaging in self-love just yet.
And when it comes to manifesting love with somebody else, self-love is your starting point. Self-love is what makes you believe that you can live the kind of love you want and deserve with somebody else (or a specific person you have fallen in love with and want to be spending your life with).
In my life, I quickly got used to following my positive feelings while keeping my freedom; at the same time, I hadn’t always sought out love as much as I sought out fun. I was confusing love with attachment and thought that engaging in love meant that I would inevitably end up feeling trapped. This was my learning period and now that I read it, it sounds very juvenile. I was always just as honest with myself about my fears of boredom or anything else and knew I would open up to love when I decided to. I had made the mistake of thinking that love inevitably leads to boredom instead of deciding that I would be experiencing the kind of love I wanted immediately. That was a (very) quick overview of my former relationship outlook.
I genuinely thought, “What is so special about making a life goal out of getting married and having children? Anyone can do it! And when it turns into a goal, one runs the risk of lowering their criteria just to find someone to marry and reproduce with as soon as possible. Marriage and children should be a part of life, not the ultimate goal because what do you do after you’ve had them?”
See what I mean?
That is not to say I haven’t given love a chance with various types of men. I just knew it wouldn’t last but wanted to enjoy it while it did. In an odd way, this was also positive – I wanted to be in a happy relationship with someone I was mesmerised with, even if I knew my fascination with his goodness wouldn’t last. Eventually, the fascination ended and all that was left was appreciation (or a lack thereof) but it was appreciation sufficient for a friendship, not a loving relationship.
My need for freedom was caused by previous relationships in which I had felt suffocated and I needed to get over that. For as long as I confused love for suffocation, I would be trying to escape it instead of enjoy it.
The truth is that we are all free – love lasts for as long as it does and even if we cannot choose how long we will love somebody for, we can choose to always treat them with honesty and respect. You get what you give. Staying with someone if you don’t want to isn’t fair but being honest with them and allowing the both of you to move on with your lives is. You don’t have to be perfect.
You just have to stand by your decisions, have integrity and have the strength to follow up, no matter how difficult it is for you. A decision is always one way – you can’t have it both ways and expect to be respected, by yourself or others.
I took a lot of heat for ending some of my relationships but knew it was the right thing to do. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and nobody was changing my mind. However, I didn’t take it personally. It didn’t matter who disagreed with me – I only relied on my own approval.
Self-love allows you to follow your heart because making the right love-based decision for yourself means making the best decision for everyone involved. If you know something is right for you, eventually it will have proven to be so for everyone involved, maybe even sooner rather than later.
All these personal attitudes were formed either prior to or as a result of my starting to look at relationships as something easy and natural – I’m not sure what order it went in but it doesn’t matter. One of these factors inevitably leads to another as a happy and healthy outlook is formed. After all, relationships can only work when fuelled by love, no matter how or when it happens.
Those who fear relationships and break-ups see them as difficult parts of life, causing their minds and hearts to close off to them and prevent them from manifesting.
If you see something as difficult, causing you sadness or simply impossible, you are preventing yourself from manifesting it. Emotional openness, positivity and feelings of fulfilment are the energy that attracts your desires while difficulty and sadness cause you to close yourself off from having what you want.
Difficulty leads to noticing that your desire has not manifested yet which leads to attachment. Instead, adopt an attitude of your desires being easy to manifest! Decide that this easy manifesting is to start this second and allow your life to finally change.
Using the Law of Attraction truly shows us that everything is connected. Now, we must use this connection to attract what we love into our lives by creating the most amazing environment for it to thrive in with our own feelings and expressions of love.