A Lack of Enthusiasm for Your Manifestation Equals A Lack of Forgiveness

Today, I started to think about forgiveness.

However, only in a very specific context.

I realized that a lack of enthusiasm for one’s manifestation is ultimately always connected to the lack of forgiveness. If we don’t forgive the past, the present, the negatives of our person or the situation, we will continue to focus on what made us upset rather than a positive future with our person or another desire. We will not be excited by a potential positive future with our person or another desire because we will keep thinking about what’s wrong with it or what caused us disappointment in the past; if we do that, we will continue to manifest those negatives in the present instead of manifesting a positive future we are excited about.

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You might be upset by your negative past or present with the person whose love you want to manifest. You keep thinking about how much your person disappointed you which prevents you from seeing a happy future with them. When you think about being with them, you are not excited – you honestly think about whether or not this is even possible, as you have no idea if positive feelings about your situation could ever be revived.

You will be happy to know they can. And let me offer specific guidance as to how!

Positive feelings about your situation must be connected to forgiveness of the past because only forgiveness can make us put something behind us and stop thinking about it. For as long as we are bothered by any past or present negatives, we will continue to think about them because they easily evoke emotion in us; at the same time, when we forgive those past or present negatives, the only emotion left to focus on is the positive anticipation of our manifestation.

No one truly means to hurt you. The person you can’t seem to forgive never meant to hurt you in the first place. People do the best they can but sometimes, their best isn’t all that great when directed at you. Their best might have seemed like the right choice when they made it but it probably wasn’t the best they could have done overall, and they also probably know it.

People can lack courage and make the choices they are not proud of. They can be sorry after but their apology or knowing that they’re sorry might not mean so much to you, especially after you have already been hurt. You might say that no matter how sorry they are, they can’t ever go back and take back your hurt. They can’t go back and undo what they did, and they can’t go back and undo the hurt they caused you.

I want you to think about the following – is what they did truly so horrible that it must mean the end of the world to you? Were you in a relationship when it happened? Were their choices intended for hurting you or just a result of some poor decisions? Was everything you think you missed out on really that perfect or did you have a pretty great life in the meantime, filled with all kinds of wonderful experiences?

Was the time you spent apart from someone you wanted to be in a relationship with truly so depressing or did you enjoy your life in many other ways? If you had been in that relationship already, how many other things and experiences would you have missed out on? Was the result of your unhappy relationship, if we’re talking about an ex or a present partner, truly all on you or was it dependent on your mutual dynamics? Why feel inferior when every relationship problem comes from two sides, not just yours? It wasn’t about you – it was about your mutual connection at the time, a lack of happiness included. It was about your communication and the feelings that drove it.

Your specific person might have made some wrong choices but they might also not have been aware of the impact those choices were going to have. They might have made some wrong decisions because you hadn’t been together that long or at all, or they weren’t sure if you would still wanted to be with them. Maybe you were both bothered by certain things and didn’t know how to express yourselves.

But it’s okay. You’re human. You don’t always know how you feel straight away and you don’t always know how to change an unpleasant situation without some guidance.

If you decide that what they did was unforgivable, it’s probably time for you to walk away. But if you look closer and see that they made certain choices because you weren’t together or because they simply made a mistake, allow yourself to repaint a positive picture of them and allow for your positive expectations to allow them to make it up to you.

Say, “He/she will show me how much he/she cares. I’m going to give him/her time to do that.” But see, when you give someone time, you won’t ever wait for years – when you develop true patience, you will experience instant manifestation. Patience leads to knowing and letting go and impatience leads to prolonging of your manifestation.

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Admit that their decisions resulted in poor choices but none of them meant the end of the road for your relationship. These choices only caused a difficult situation but were they really so unforgivable? I don’t know your specific situation but I do know that it’s possible for these wrong decisions to have been and still be forgivable. A little time has probably passed by now which can only make it easier for you to forgive – with time, the impact of the hurt we once experienced will inevitably diminish and offer us perspective instead.

Today might be the day to remind ourselves of it. Let go of the past and forgive your specific person for hurting you. Forgive them for the choices they made while you were apart. Forgive them for all the ways they left you out during your relationship, as they didn’t think they were causing you such pain to begin with. After it was all said and done, your specific person might have regretted their choices so believe them if they say so. Put yourself in their shoes and consider whether their actions should hold such consequences for the rest of your lives or not.

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How to See Your Relationship or its Manifestation as Abundant

It’s very easy to look at what we are not getting in a relationship or its manifestation, detailing the parts we wish we had never experienced or those that aren’t going our way for the moment. Today, we should ask ourselves, “Is the relationship I imagined going to be as good as the one I could have if I just allowed it to happen by letting my person express themselves the way they will? If I just gave it a chance?”

What if we didn’t scrutinize our specific person’s every move but allowed them to come to us and express themselves the way they will? What if we trusted that everything was about to work our and the current reality is simply not a big deal?

What if we loved our specific people for who they are, 100%, instead of thinking about the things we would love to change in them? What if we started thinking that the level of communication we do receive was enough instead of not enough?

You know what would happen?

We would grow. We would take the pressure off. We would start to think of ourselves as being in a relationship instead of not so. We would power through the period of dissatisfaction and started seeing our love life as abundant instead of lacking.

Let’s say you have a specific person in mind or are in a relationship with someone you love. But they don’t text enough. They don’t call enough. They don’t see you enough. You’re agreeing to things you didn’t want for yourself in life and half the time, don’t even feel like you’re in a relationship or are thinking about being alone instead of being with someone and feeling alone.

While thinking about what you don’t like in this setup can consume your life, what if you said, “Our relationship is great. I want him/her to be who they are. We talk plenty.” And then, you focus on your own life instead of thinking about what they are doing or what you want to do with them because it’ll happen. You talk plenty so you’ll see each other soon. What if you adopted this attitude?

If you did, you would attract even more amazing circumstances with this person than the ones you had originally imagined because complete love and acceptance first lead to immediate relaxation on your part and then to the person in question expressing themselves in an even better way than you had imagined.

When you begin to see your relationship (manifestation) so abundant in this way, you immediately create a presence in your own life which then makes you feel fully present in your relationship. You start to experience spontaneous visualizations of the two of you together. When someone asks, your initial instinct becomes “We talk a lot,” be that based on the visualizations or the current reality already (because if it’s based on just the visualizations, it will become your current reality soon enough!).

This is what I mean when talking about abundance. This is what I mean when I say we should relax around our manifestations. “We’ll talk.” “We talk a lot.” “We see each other plenty.” Even just based on the current reality because if what you have is recognized as abundant, you end up receiving even more.

Take a look at what you have in your relationship and recognize everything you’ve received, not everything you feel like you’re missing – soon, you won’t feel like you’re missing anything. You will start to feel like everything you have is plenty already.

And then, you will receive even more.

If we think of what our specific person “should” be doing to show love instead of allowing them to just get there, we will never feel like we’re receiving enough. This is how the human mind works and we must be aware of that. On the other hand, if we allow them to show it and allow ourselves to receive it authentically from their side, we will feel like they’re doing plenty to give us what we want.

This is love. This is acceptance.

This is you sending the message of, “You’re more than enough for me, just the way you are.”

And ultimately, this is what makes the Law of Attraction give you the love you want from the person you want. This is how you accept them, see yourself having a lot with them and once you do, this is how you manifest everything from them.

How to Love Unconditionally When Your Specific Person is Difficult

Unconditional love and acceptance, masked as not caring about what a person does or simply loving them for everything they are, allow us to manifest relationships rapidly. However, when forgiveness for the past or the present is involved, hurt feelings can get in the way of appreciating someone unconditionally.

It’s easy for us to accept the people we don’t care about or don’t perceive as important to our lives. On the other hand, those important to us are those we expect certain behaviors from and if our preferred behaviors are not immediately present, we can develop resentment or fear that our relationship is simply “not working out.”

The trick is to accept the person for who they are because then, we are able to imagine them treating us exactly the way we want to be treated. But if we don’t accept them to start, we won’t be able to imagine them being even better because we will continue to focus on their flaws and nothing else.

An dip into negative feelings can happen when we project our needs to the other person and expect them to fulfil those needs – in this case, we must ask ourselves if we are projecting onto them the needs we can only fulfil ourselves.

We don’t feel good when we are needy and this neediness often translates into wanting to receive more communication from the person. However, the way to achieve that is to imagine receiving this communication in the way that makes you feel good! You simply must give into good, positive feelings to make the Law of Attraction work – you want to imagine happily living your life with this person and being treated the way you want to be.

If you simply focus on them not doing what you want and not fulfilling your needs, you will lower your vibration and think permanently negatively of them as a result…and that will hurt your manifestation. Thinking poorly of someone translates into you seeing them not fulfilling your needs and not doing what you want, and your impression of the relationship growing in negativity.

Now is the time to ask yourself if you are asking your specific person to fulfil both sides of the equation – their own needs and your own? Because this doesn’t work. You have to do your part if you expect them to do theirs. Everything we give back, we receive in return.

When you love and accept a specific person unconditionally, they give the same to you.

On the other hand, when you are upset with a person’s behavior, they fail to give you the love and attention you desire and a relationship doesn’t manifest.

We must assume and visualize everything we wish to receive from a specific person while calling our negative thoughts false and paranoid. We simply must tell ourselves to think positive because only then can we assume the best of ourselves and everyone else.

We must only imagine the scenarios that make us the happiest.

Thought of the Day

There was an interesting period in my life when I wanted to change but didn’t know who the new me wanted to be.

Equally, I didn’t know who I wanted the new me to be.

That’s what makes us lonely – not knowing who we are. And when we attach an idea of who we are to another person, a lover or a specific person we want to manifest a relationship with, we feel lonely without them.

We need them.

We falsely worry that our life would be empty without them.

Thought of the Day

Change the outcome by changing your attitude, awareness and behavior.

Change the outcome by engaging in self-love and putting yourself first.

Stop putting your desired partner before yourself, no matter how much you miss them – put yourself first at all times. And do so by knowing that your ideal relationship with them is a done deal.

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Thought of the Day

I find the majority of love advice to be encouraging of one’s constant focus on the relationship.

However, I personally find the perfect formula to be a mix of focus on the relationship and giving it the space it also needs by engaging in your own beloved life interests – they make us happier and then, we bring that happiness into the relationship.

Have You Earned a Great Relationship?

I continuously encounter individuals who believe a great relationship is something they are entitled to.

A great relationship is something everyone deserves, just like any other blessing in life. Everyone deserves to experience happiness but those that receive it have in fact earned it with their positive mindsets, respect for others and gratitude for their lives.

Everyone deserves it but a positive individual earns it, allowing a happy relationship to come into one’s reality.

On the other hand, those projecting negative energy (be it frustration, desperation, negative self-image, impatience, rudeness or general dissatisfaction) are continuously preventing what they deserve, a great relationship in this case, to appear in their lives.

You get what you give; genuine appreciation for life, your own and those of others, ensures you will receive an abundance of goodness in return. You merely need to find that appreciation.

The idea of an amazing relationship being earned holds truth but requires explanation; stating this idea as simply as it looks in writing may evoke negative reactions instead of positive. One becomes worthy of a great relationship by viewing oneself in a positive light, focusing on everything they enjoy in life, respecting one’s unique qualities as well as the qualities of others and having personal integrity that ensures standing by one’s personal beliefs.

Many believe they must earn a great relationship by fulfilling requirements such as career success, a larger-than-life personality, financial wealth or being classically good looking. However, basic creation principles state that one’s beliefs create one’s awareness; for example, individuals who deeply believe they cannot earn a great relationship until they have a great job will encounter specific experiences reflecting those beliefs.

The truth is, the relationship you desire has nothing to do with your social status unless you decide to believe it. Those who stick to beliefs such as “Once I get a good job, I will have inner peace and be ready for a relationship” will most likely find that the job, the relationship and the inner peace continue to elude them. Postponing those experiences by masking them as future goals will ensure they remain distant goals, making it impossible to catch up to that “perfect future.”

Now, I am not saying your desires are irrelevant but for as long as you think “I’ll be confident once I have this,” you are creating a future goal that will always remain in the future. In reality, you must be feel deserving of your goals now, feeling confident in yourself before you can obtain them.

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Contrary to popular belief, relationships have nothing to do with your social status, level of wealth, professional success or your looks. When it comes to relationships, you merely need to be confident in the person you are. You need to draw your confidence from internal factors instead of external. You need to recognize your personal qualities, the beauty of your physical traits, your intelligence and gratitude for everything you have in life.

One of the best ways to earn a great relationship rests in developing self-confidence, self-comfort and self-acceptance.

Amplifying those character traits with a positive mindset will allow you to focus on everything you love in life instead of everything you are currently missing. If you focus on your positive traits, you will effortlessly focus on your (potential) partner’s positive traits, enjoying your relationship immensely and solving problems in it easily. Suddenly, you will come to realize relationships were intended to be easy and enjoyable instead of being a constant ego battle between opposing sides. If you have an eye on a potential partner, you will be encouraged to communicate with them as you have recognized your own qualities while appreciating them for theirs. You will realize how much there is to be liked about you!

If you believe your looks are insufficient to evoke attraction in another, you will project an unhappy demeanor, tension and insecurity. The best part is, you can decide to focus on the aspects of your appearance you like instead. You can appreciate your beauty instead of focusing on the reasons it is less than perfect. This positive energy will evoke even more of the same, allowing you to feel increasingly great about yourself.

Ultimately, is there a real reason you should feel negatively about your appearance? Everyone holds a different idea of what beauty means. More importantly, we all respond to each other’s energy much stronger than any physical attributes – every time you were attracted someone who wasn’t your “type” proves that.

Do you compare yourself to others? This is another mistake which can prevent you from receiving life’s goods. Do you believe you must match an ideal another specific person represents to you while considering anything “less” to be insufficient? This mindset only states your lack of appreciation for yourself, as you feel undeserving of love. Even if you think your (potential) partner only wants the ideal you have imagined he/she must, it doesn’t mean you’re right.

We all know the story – one perceives their desired partner to be “too good for me.” “He/She is out of my league,” they imagine, never making a move or deeming themselves worthy instead. This thought process is perpetuated until the object of their affection meets someone else.

There are plenty of similar examples. However, it all comes down to the following.

Searching for the reasons to postpone living a happy relationship only shows that you doubt your own value. If recognizing the said value undoubtedly ensures finding a great relationship, what is the point of feeling inadequate?

ARE YOU COMPETING WITH ANOTHER PERSON? HERE’S WHAT TO DO.

Is there a person in your life or relationship that makes you feel inadequate or like you’re always coming second? And are your feelings continuously being made worse by your partner who seems to pay more attention to this person and their feelings than you in a variety of ways? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you probably feeling like there is a person in yours or your partner’s life you have to compete with.

This person could be your partner’s close friend, a nagging ex or even a family member – whoever they are, you feel queasy in their presence or from the very mention of their name. You might even feel that their feelings are more important to your partner than your own and you might be torn between wanting to fix the problem and even considering leaving the relationship.

Before you decide, there are several important points you need to consider.

First of all, it is important to know that no one is forcing you to compete with another person…ever. You choose whether or not to engage in competition, just like you choose everything else in your life.

Personally, competition is beneath me. If I feel like I am being forced to compete with another person, I simply walk away. If you don’t want to walk away immediately, having an open conversation with your partner or whoever it is that makes you compete is always a good idea and it might just solve the problem if you express your feelings openly, honestly and with confidence. Remember that you have the power to solve any problem in your life, either by compromising or leaving.

You have to start living your life from the awareness of being a person of value. Great value isn’t determined by what you have or have accomplished – it is determined by who you are. If you decide to connect with your confidence and stop accepting being treated poorly by another, you will naturally gravitate towards other confident people and positive situations.

You have to start having more fun in your own life, without the need for approval from anyone, your partner included. When you focus on making your own life fun, you will stop being upset by all those people whose behavior is simply not on your level. Making life fun for yourself will help you reconnect with your own confidence and maybe even lead you to new people and new experiences.

And instead of fearing the person you think you have to compete with, use some ingenious ways to get them on your team. If they have a particular skill set, ask them to do something for you. If they are the person who is constantly trying to make you compete, laugh off their attempts and refuse to let them upset you (or pretend that they don’t) as this particular approach will throw them off. Whatever you choose to do, do it with confidence.

Getting this person on your side might just be the inspired action that makes you feel good which will prompt LoA to bring even more positive change into your situation. When you do what makes you feel good instead of worrying about any particular situation, you begin to make better, lighter and more positive decisions which attract even more positive change as a result. This is how LoA works when you take a positive step in your current reality!

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Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.