Relationship Advice – How to Attract a Relationship Despite Discomfort around a Specific Person

What do you do if the person you are not yourself around is the person you want to attract a relationship with?

We have all known someone like that, usually in a romantic sense. We have all been involved with a person who has upset or hurt us, resulting in our future interactions being filled with reactions from confusion and a damaged sense of pride when all we wanted to do was relax and be our best selves. We have all been involved with the people who had this effect on us but whether or not we chose to stay in those involvements was entirely up to us.

Choosing to stick around someone who makes you feel this way or use all your strength to walk away from them is a reflection of your personality, awareness, and, most importantly, your level of self-confidence. You might think you don’t deserve better or that the other person does so you feel the need to stick around until you figure out how to give them what you believe they deserve. You think that giving them what you feel they should have would make you happy but the flaw to this plan rests in the idea of putting them ahead of yourself.

A healthy relationship is about balance and equality, not about engaging in emotional compliance. However, particularly strong feelings for another person might cause you to engage in it without them ever asking you to, causing you to fall into codependence of your own making. This type of emotional state comes from the fear of losing what you have and the need to get what you want from this person, produced by a false conviction of being unhappy or a complete failure if you can’t make this relationship work.

I think that throughout our lives we have been taught to look at successful relationship through the eyes of need. You need a good man/woman. You need a good boyfriend/girlfriend. You need to stay away from bad boys/girls. You need someone you can start a family with because you need to get married and have a family of your own. You need someone or you’ll end up lonely. You need the right man/woman to complete you. Really? If that is what we need and not want, what’s the point of falling in love?

I can answer that as well. The point of falling in love is to enjoy it. We want to be in relationships with the people we love because we love and not need them. Need has nothing to do with another person – we make a choice to be with them.

If need were such a strong factor in choosing relationships, we would all be with the first person we see in the street. If it’s all about need, why not choose the closest one to you and fulfill your needs? Why? Because it doesn’t work that way. It is the level of joy another person gives you that makes you believe you need them somehow – you derive more happiness than you’re used to from them (because all you’ve been searching for until then was need) and suddenly, you feel undeserving and afraid that you might lose it.

At the same time, this doesn’t happen with the people we aren’t ourselves around. They don’t give us joy – they reflect the parts of us we feel like we’re missing and with it, cause a self-produced sense of need. If the Law of Attraction has already taught us that everything we feel for another person is reflected back to us, I believe the need to be validated by someone we admire reminds us of what we don’t have. It makes us believe that validation from this particular person will turn us into the people we always knew we could be…is that how you feel about the person you want to be with but feel upset by or unsettled around?

If that is the case, you must focus on self-love more than you ever have. You have put your happiness in another person’s hands, even if they didn’t ask for it, and now is the time to put it back into your own. You must realize that nothing will change if you remain in this state. Relationships are mutual and right now, you are alone in it. You cannot comprehend ever feeling positive or relaxed in the relationship you are visualizing, with the person you are visualizing. You must find love within in order to believe you can have it in this relationship. And by that, I don’t mean that the purpose of developing self-love is getting into a relationship – the purpose of developing self-love is to be happy with your life and yourself, regardless of your relationship status. Only if you don’t need a relationship will you be able to manifest one.

In my opinion, the people who make us feel uncomfortable are wrong for us. However, this is just my experience. Whatever you wish to manifest, you can, but you must believe that this is right for you. If it makes you feel bad, you can’t manifest it and you must change it. For me, that change always consisted of walking away.

Now, it’s up to you. Decide and go for it. Decide to feel good or walk away…but make a change. Decide who you want to be and make sure you’re proud of it. Before being proud of being with the person you wanted, become proud of yourself.

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Self-Love Equals Smooth Manifestation

For days, I’ve been thinking about the single most important part of effortless manifestation. Most of us wanted to know the answer to successfully avoiding negative thoughts and stopping ourselves from engaging in doubt yet we didn’t find it until we started to feel unconditionally good about ourselves.

They don’t tell us that love is the key to LoA for nothing. Some might wonder why love is such a boost and why self-love in particular means so much in this process but when you think about it, you end up realizing that self-love leads to positivity and positivity leads to relaxation, trust and letting go. A relaxed mind boosted by loving emotions leads to attracting one’s desired life without effort.

You might wonder why exactly the core of your personality makes such a difference. Wouldn’t just imagining living your desired life be enough to lead you down the path of making it happen? Although this part is true, being truly in love with yourself while imagining living your desired life helps the process go faster and smoothly, ensuring fast and smooth manifestation. If you can’t see it, how can you manifest it? And if you love yourself, you can see and manifest.

Even though very short, this definition is all you need – it is the key to LoA. Think about it – you manifest what you feel deserving of and if you love yourself, you feel deserving of your desires, right? You feel that you were meant to have them. You know they’re possible for you.

Maybe this blog post was meant to serve as a simple reminder. I’ve been incredibly happy lately yet it makes perfect sense that I would be in the said situation not only because I wanted to be in it but because I have the most loving feelings in and all around it. It is where I want to be and my life hasn’t been the same since. If you love yourself, you will also be able to imagine yourself exactly where you want to be.

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Are You Putting Your Happiness Into the Hands of Your Desire?

Do you wish to attract a commodity, circumstance or a relationship you believe would change your entire life and bring you happiness almost magically? In your mind, is this particular desire the Holy Grail of your goals and personal fulfilment?

If that’s the case, you might find the impression of your desire being present or absent controlling your overall mood. The appearance of short-term manifestations or signs that make your ultimate desire feel real inevitably lift your spirits while negative signs or the feeling of loneliness can just as easily take over, giving you a sinking feeling. Even if you don’t want to feel the absence, you often end up feeling too weak to help yourself.

What is there to do?

First of all, you must know this – if you are easily upset by the absence of your desired manifestation, this is completely normal and there is nothing wrong with you.

You don’t have to beat yourself up about it – throughout our lives, we most likely haven’t been informed of the most constructive ways to deal with negative feelings. In order to shield their beloved children from disappointment or protect them from getting hurt, parents often attempt to prepare us for dealing with life but lead us to believe we should expect to not get what we want instead, as our dreams might be difficult to achieve.

If you have been told that you might not get what you want because so many others want it, too, which might prevent you from getting it, you were taught to believe that something or someone can come in between you and your dreams when in reality, they can’t.

When you want something and are sure you are going to get it, nothing and no one can prevent it from happening. The only thing that can prevent it from happening is your own absence of the right belief.

Have you ever felt that manifesting your desires absolutely must always be a struggle for you for some reason, that you can never just get what you want smoothly, happily or positively? This is a mindset in itself, the type of self-perception ensuring you will continue to complicate your manifestations until someday accepting the fact that you deserve to enjoy them.

This type of mindset happens when one is guided by fear(s) which causes one to form attachment to one’s desires.

When greatly attached to a specific relationship, positively or negatively, it is tempting to allow for that relationship to become a part of your identity – a temptation often given into. The only problem is that in this case, your mood will change with the state of your relationship and inevitably follow its ups and downs.

When attached to another person, we stop accepting them fully and attempt to mould them into whoever we think they should be and the way they should behave, even if only partially or subconsciously. When loving another person fully, for everything they are, we have no reason to want to “improve” their imperfections and with that, create any sort of attachment which only produces the need to see someone behave the way we think they should.

Don’t get sucked in by attachment! Your desired manifestation is going to be a part of your life, even if it’s an important one, but when it comes to your life, you are everything. Not your desires, present circumstances or fears – just you. Against the happy you, attachment has no chance.

This is why you must feel good to the core of your being. When you feel good, you also feel good about your desires, inevitably sending attachment away whenever it comes knocking.

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Self-Love is Your Inner Strength, Relationship Confidence and Encompassing Personal Beauty

It is what you believe you have a difficult time manifesting that causes attachment in you.

Changing yourself to assume the lightness of character, endless self-confidence and unwavering belief is achieved with self-love. Those who doubt this notion haven’t tried engaging in self-love just yet.

And when it comes to manifesting love with somebody else, self-love is your starting point. Self-love is what makes you believe that you can live the kind of love you want and deserve with somebody else (or a specific person you have fallen in love with and want to be spending your life with).

In my life, I quickly got used to following my positive feelings while keeping my freedom; at the same time, I hadn’t always sought out love as much as I sought out fun. I was confusing love with attachment and thought that engaging in love meant that I would inevitably end up feeling trapped. This was my learning period and now that I read it, it sounds very juvenile. I was always just as honest with myself about my fears of boredom or anything else and knew I would open up to love when I decided to. I had made the mistake of thinking that love inevitably leads to boredom instead of deciding that I would be experiencing the kind of love I wanted immediately. That was a (very) quick overview of my former relationship outlook.

I genuinely thought, “What is so special about making a life goal out of getting married and having children? Anyone can do it! And when it turns into a goal, one runs the risk of lowering their criteria just to find someone to marry and reproduce with as soon as possible. Marriage and children should be a part of life, not the ultimate goal because what do you do after you’ve had them?”

See what I mean?

That is not to say I haven’t given love a chance with various types of men. I just knew it wouldn’t last but wanted to enjoy it while it did. In an odd way, this was also positive – I wanted to be in a happy relationship with someone I was mesmerised with, even if I knew my fascination with his goodness wouldn’t last. Eventually, the fascination ended and all that was left was appreciation (or a lack thereof) but it was appreciation sufficient for a friendship, not a loving relationship.

My need for freedom was caused by previous relationships in which I had felt suffocated and I needed to get over that. For as long as I confused love for suffocation, I would be trying to escape it instead of enjoy it.

The truth is that we are all free – love lasts for as long as it does and even if we cannot choose how long we will love somebody for, we can choose to always treat them with honesty and respect. You get what you give. Staying with someone if you don’t want to isn’t fair but being honest with them and allowing the both of you to move on with your lives is. You don’t have to be perfect.

You just have to stand by your decisions, have integrity and have the strength to follow up, no matter how difficult it is for you. A decision is always one way – you can’t have it both ways and expect to be respected, by yourself or others.

I took a lot of heat for ending some of my relationships but knew it was the right thing to do. I just wasn’t feeling it anymore and nobody was changing my mind. However, I didn’t take it personally. It didn’t matter who disagreed with me – I only relied on my own approval.

Self-love allows you to follow your heart because making the right love-based decision for yourself means making the best decision for everyone involved. If you know something is right for you, eventually it will have proven to be so for everyone involved, maybe even sooner rather than later. 

All these personal attitudes were formed either prior to or as a result of my starting to look at relationships as something easy and natural – I’m not sure what order it went in but it doesn’t matter. One of these factors inevitably leads to another as a happy and healthy outlook is formed. After all, relationships can only work when fuelled by love, no matter how or when it happens.

Those who fear relationships and break-ups see them as difficult parts of life, causing their minds and hearts to close off to them and prevent them from manifesting.

If you see something as difficult, causing you sadness or simply impossible, you are preventing yourself from manifesting it. Emotional openness, positivity and feelings of fulfilment are the energy that attracts your desires while difficulty and sadness cause you to close yourself off from having what you want. 

Difficulty leads to noticing that your desire has not manifested yet which leads to attachment. Instead, adopt an attitude of your desires being easy to manifest! Decide that this easy manifesting is to start this second and allow your life to finally change.

Using the Law of Attraction truly shows us that everything is connected. Now, we must use this connection to attract what we love into our lives by creating the most amazing environment for it to thrive in with our own feelings and expressions of love. 

Love or Attention – Which Do You Truly Want?

This is going to be quite a self-help-type blog post.

I’ve been thinking about obsession, manipulation and the need to attract attention (and, attraction) from the person one wants to manifest a relationship with rather than focusing on love. Sometimes, the need to be with someone and make a relationship happen with them can stand in the way of one’s ability to distinguish love from need which results in frustration over not achieving one’s goal of being with the person they desire. It can lead to one’s incessant questioning of themselves instead of self-belief.

Diving into relationships and knowing how to make the other person feel attached while I wasn’t was something I practised on a regular basis. I knew how to dazzle anyone I wanted to – that was me at my most immature. At one point, I was unsure where the manipulation ended and the love began even though my goal was always to reel someone in and simply run away after I was done with them.

That was me perceived by several exes I had broken up with.

The following is the truth.

I entered every relationship with the best intentions. I was loving and tolerant for as long as I was happy; I was loved up, mesmerized by the qualities of the man in question, including him in my life and ready to compromise when needed. I wanted to be mesmerized and I wanted for the other person to give as much as I did. They did for the most part but after they stopped (or, we both had), I knew it was because I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I knew what I had attracted. That lack of feelings was caused by our differences which had ultimately become a bigger deal to me than our love and that was when I would walk away. I just wanted to be happy as I always do but hadn’t found that special person to love entirely in any of those men. I wanted a man with qualities so amazing that I would focus on them and love him for them, his imperfections still included but nowhere near as strong as those qualities. I wanted someone special and none of those men were it. I would only stay with them for as long as I was happy.

Ultimately, isn’t that the goal? Finding the one that makes you happy and being happy with them? But when hurt feelings and a bruised ego get in the way, perceptions are ruled and fuelled by fears instead of conscious creation using positive feelings.

Have you noticed that many of your currently negative feelings rest in the current lack of attention you are experiencing from the person you want to manifest a relationship with?

How many times have you confused wanting to manifest love with a desire to actually manifest some temporary attention? 

You know what I mean.

Attention is a quick fix. We’ve all thought it would help us and make us happier at one point or another; however, riding on a high from attention received ultimately leads to a temporary low after that attention is gone once again, even if just for a day. It’s an addiction. It isn’t love.

Love is permanent. When you focus on love instead of “how” someone should act to convince you they’re actually in love (a.k.a. shower you with the amount of attention you have imagined to be necessary), ideas and visualizations of a love-filled life come to you.

The exes who had called me all sorts of manipulative hadn’t focused on love at that point – they were obsessed with the amount of attention given and received which at that point was insufficient from both sides. However, I acknowledged there were always two sides to every problem, starting with my own – they acknowledged mainly my side of the problem, even when accepting their own, but according to them, it was somehow my responsibility to take care of both my feelings and their own damaged confidence.

I learned that I have no desire to build up someone’s confidence if they don’t want to do it for themselves to begin with. People make excuses for their insecurities all the time. If someone’s insecurities are getting the best of them and their actual qualities, it is not my job to remove those insecurities for them. Those who let their insecurities get in the way of their qualities just because they think that feelings should be expressed exactly as they think make for exhausting companions. These are the companions who want validation before or instead of love, and they want it to come from you instead of their inner peace.

Not to mention that the individuals who think about how things “should” go feel uncomfortable with the concept of a happy relationship and tend to find some strange comfort in unhappiness because that is what they are used to. It’s familiar to them. It’s easier. These are not bad or incompetent individuals, mind you. These are simply individuals who keep happy relationships from manifesting into their lives because they feel uncomfortable with them. They might feel undeserving of happiness or they might have just chosen a person who makes them feel uncomfortable but are not ready to admit it to themselves; either way, everyone who wants to be in a happy relationship must begin to feel entirely comfortable with the concept of having one.

There is a difference between lovingly imagining your relationship with the person you are crazy about and thinking about what they “should” be doing to show you how they feel; the former creates your desired reality while the latter causes frustration in your current (which is mainly the lack of the desired in the eye of the beholder).

If you are currently obsessed with a lack of attention received from the person you want to be with, focusing on your current reality or the attention is not love. You are not appreciating your life now, before your relationship manifests. You are also not appreciating your desired reality since you feel that you might not receive it. You are not appreciating yourself and everything you deserve.

Most importantly, you are not appreciating your current reality because you are not getting the attention, not love, you want as of this moment. You must begin to love yourself and give yourself the attention you deserve. Once you finally start to love yourself and realize that you don’t need someone else’s approval and attention to feel good, you will emit as much love as you feel and attract the people you want to you. 

If some cleverly aimed attention weren’t enough to reel another person in, we wouldn’t be talking about it. How many times did you consider someone simply because they knew how to give attention, to make you interested? Well, interest is different than love and so are the types of attention that come with each concept.

Stop looking for current attention and temporary proof and focus on feeling love for yourself, your desired partner and your desired relationship instead. The right kind of attention will come from your free and undemanding feelings of love for another person; it will come when you start to love another for who they are and allow them to be themselves. Believe me.

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Specific Wording and Manifesting Relationships – Use YOUR Words to Create Positive Manifestations!

Let’s talk about manifesting relationships because I have always found that the correct internal verbal expression of those relationships (which is different for every single individual) leads to positive thoughts and visualization which lead to belief.

Do you prefer to tell yourself that your desired relationship belongs to you already or internally state that it is going to manifest soon?

Which specific wording suits you better?

Some feel unnatural believing their relationships belong to them already but do feel good knowing that everything will come together soon. Others feel great about knowing that everything has already been worked out on an invisible level and just has to manifest in reality. Others genuinely feel good knowing that a relationship might manifest or that it might not, whatever feels best – there is a great deal of individuals out there who don’t practice LoA consciously when it comes to relationships because they feel it ruins the element of surprise.

It doesn’t matter which of these groups you belong to – with positive wording, the wording that feels good to you, you can allow yourself to let go of your relationship to manifest.

Any positive wording you choose will instantly be followed by the feeling as well as spontaneous visualization of your desire as if it has manifested already; however, some prefer to say to themselves that the relationship belongs to them already while others like to say it’ll happen soon. Choose the words that feel good because feeling good leads to manifesting rapidly and effortlessly.

You can also opt for an expression that has no timestamp – without defining the manifestation time of a specific desire, you can use one of the two sayings I have suggested in the past:

“It’s happening right now!” or “It’s a done deal – thank You!”

Using one of these expressions is perfect for removing your thoughts from any specific time your manifestation might come about. You just know that it’s yours without obsessing about the details.

Timestamp-free expression of your desired relationship is perfect for you if your attachment to the relationship you desire is high enough to cause negative feelings.

Timestamp-free expression will remove your attachment. If you have been experiencing attachment so strong you are aware of it, commit to this new way of describing your desired manifestation today.

I have used the timestamp-free method on several occasions of attracting people into my life. This method is highly effective because it leads to knowing while removing the need to know when. Using this method will remind you that the sooner you let go, the sooner you will manifest and refusing to worry about “how” or “when” is going to allow for letting go.

Try it and you’ll see. And, of course, report back!

 

My Second Book

Hello everyone! My second book is now live on Kindle and also available in paperback!

My second Law of Attraction book (and, my first relationship book) was written to offer assistance in manifesting relationships. Love was meant to be easy and taking a look at common limiting beliefs allows us to resolve them and change our outlook. This book will provide the answers to many questions related to manifesting love and offer a great deal of motivation.

You can purchase the Kindle version here or through your designated Amazon.

You can find the paperback here.

As always, I am so grateful for your support. Thank you in advance for your interest in this book which I am sure will offer inspiration and insight into manifesting relationships.

Love,

Nina

in the sun

Manifesting Relationships – Does it Matter What Kind?

When I say relationships, I mean friendships, love, family relationships, professional relationships and any other you can think of. Let’s discuss manifesting them!

I believe we all have something we absolutely love to manifest and manifesting specific people is what really turns me on. Attracting friendships, relationships and specific people I want professional opportunities from makes all of us happy simply because I have decided that I bring happiness.

Manifesting specific relationships brings love into our lives while making them everything we wanted them to be.

When manifesting relationships with specific people, I aim for the both of us to be happy, if not happier than ever.

Manifesting professional opportunities means just as much to me in terms of making people happy.

Some people get a rush from manifesting money. Others, career opportunities. They get a rush from feeling powerful and manifesting even more power into their lives. I love to manifest both those things and maintain my professional and financial lifestyle with ease but the purpose of my work is to inspire other people. I love it when my work offers me an opportunity to create my best work to date and when I motivate myself to create it. I love being financially compensated for my work because it achieved the expected result. I love feeling deserving of the compensation I wish to receive and enjoy it.

Feeling deserving of living the life I want and nurturing my interests and goals makes me feel even more convinced that I am bringing happiness, excitement and value into the lives of the people I manifest relationships with. Everything I do and everything I choose to do makes me a happier person.

When it comes to feeling deserving of desires manifested, I always push for self-confidence as the answer. You already know that. However, self-confidence doesn’t mean having to be someone you are not; self-confidence means being comfortable being the person you wish to be, being comfortable doing the things you wish to do.

Self-confidence means feeling deserving of living the life you want.

When it comes to friendships, for example, self-confidence means avoiding being affected by negative opinions of others while choosing friends according to their appreciation of you and your friendship. Truly loving friends will love you and be happy for you while also loving and being happy for themselves.

When it comes you, self-confidence and love mean refusing to engage in negative self-perception, fears and negative life anticipations.

Self-confidence means expecting to receive the happiness you truly deserve. By default, self-confidence also means sending love out into the world with your actions, words, feelings and your honest approach to people.

When it comes to manifesting relationships, self-confidence means believing that you are succeeding because your goal is to make the person you want in your life happy! They already make you happy and you have decided to make them feel the same way. That’s how I see it.

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When You Give Yourself the Help You Need…

When something in life upsets me, no matter how briefly, I am usually grateful for having someone supportive show up at the exact moment I have calmed myself down and reaffirm my belief that the situation will be resolved.

How does a situation such as this one usually go in your life?

The person to tell you that everything will be alright will either show up as soon as you have calmed yourself down or come sooner than that, bringing their calming and loving energy to help you.

In truth, we attract these situations and individuals, just like everything else. We either invite even more upsetting or loving and calming energy with our vibration and needs. If the same person keeps coming around to help, we are grateful for them. We are also grateful for those who offer to help.

We are particularly grateful for the moments in which worry fades away even when we fear the opposite happening.

Today, I attracted help from someone after I have decided that the situation in question was not a big deal after all. In fact, I expected to be much more irritated than I was. The annoyance that ran deep lasted only minutes which shows that consistent practice can turn anyone into a positive thinker.

It also shows that our thoughts don’t have to be perfect – they can be human. Like us.

When faced with upsetting moments, don’t beat yourself up. It happens. Don’t worry about how you might have attracted this circumstance but only look ahead with faith and trust instead.

 

Are You Surrounded with True Friends?

Some of the recent events around me as well as many comments and emails prompted me to address the following:

Are your friends, family and other people close to you genuinely happy for your success in life, your positive personality and all the love, magic and gratitude you are attracting into your life?

Let’s be clear on something – they should be!

No matter what goes on in your life, you are a great friend if you’re unconditionally happy for your own friends and their success. Those who support your goals and desires are good friends and those who don’t are only expressing their limiting beliefs, making themselves less-than-exceptional friends in the process.

If someone’s constant negativity hurts your happiness and life, you can remove yourself from that person and seek out positive company instead. There is no reason not to.

Or, if this is a relationship you want to repair, you can do so as well. It’s up to you but either way, here’s what to do.

Don’t take it personally!

Those who are unable to be entirely happy for you are unable to be happy for themselves, in their own life. If you don’t love you, you can’t love another, right? We all know this. However, if you confronted them about it, they would probably act offended, confirming your claim to be true.

Once again, consider what you want – to fix the relationship or give it up?

You are free to do either. You are not obligated to keep anyone into your life – relationships of any nature are about love and positive feelings, not guilt or obligations.

Be honest with that person.

If you want to repair the relationships or simply tell the person in question how you feel, you can. Make sure your communication is entirely honest because otherwise, what’s the point in bringing this up? You can tell this person that you would like to take some time away, if that is what you truly want, but make sure to explain why. Unless honesty is fully present, nothing will be resolved.

Think about the kind of friends and support you want to have.

Thinking about what makes us happy brings it into our lives. Dedicate your time to that instead of deciphering your problems. Problems are there to be resolved, not be obsessing about. Worrying too much brings no solution.

If you want to work with the Law of Attraction successfully, you should keep it simple.

If you want to attract the life you want successfully (and, fast), make decisions and stand by them! Be courageous enough to actually make decisions and stick to them.

To make decisions successfully, you must know yourself and the best way to do so is to engage in anything that makes you happy.

Finally,

If you choose to move on…

Believe it’s for the best and feel good about your decision. You can’t have it both ways if you want to feel good – make a decision you actually feel good about!