No matter what I do and regardless of any negative thoughts I face, what I want is mine.
The other night, I was in a deep discussion with a friend as we were driving around the city at 2 a.m.. Sharing experiences of recent and not-so-recent encounters with men, her accurate grasp of relationships absolutely amazed me.
If you are, it might be the reason you keep getting stuck, manifesting the same situations over and over again, without knowing how to break free and manifest what you want for a change.
Is shame the manifesting block you have been trying to pinpoint and overcome? If so, you are now on your way out of the darkness.
Being ashamed of something you’ve done or experienced is just another version of feeling as if you are not good enough; it is the fear of inadequacy that makes you doubt your own worth, power or ability to make life happen. That sense of shame can be strong enough to effortlessly keep you focused on your perceived mistakes instead of enjoying the visualizations of the life you want, making you feel like you don’t deserve that life because of the embarrassment endured.
When manifesting a relationship, it is always with a specific man I chose. When there is one I want to be with, I see us together and I easily visualize the situations in which we are together, as I want our relationship to be. If I imagine something I want to live, it makes me feel good.
Sounds simple, right?
If you want to manifest a specific relationship, do you feel good when imagining the two of you together? If you don’t, why don’t you?
Is it because you think a relationship should happen a certain way? If that’s the case, either accept that you can change things or if you don’t want to, you can always find someone else who will give you an even better feeling. You must believe that you can have what you want with the person you want in order to manifest it.
Is your mutual past still bothering you? Or your past with someone else which you fear repeating? Get over it and move on. This is not criticism, just a suggestion. Get over it because you deserve to. You don’t deserve to be an emotional slave to someone else or worse, yourself because you choose to hold onto the hurt from the past. The person who hurt you is not better than you – more importantly, they are someone you will be happier staying away from so it’s good that they keep their distance from you, right? After all, you choose to feel hurt by someone else’s actions or, not. No one can hurt you if you refuse to allow it and if you ever did, change that today. You deserve to be happy instead.
Are you afraid of getting involved with this person? Maybe you don’t trust them or just don’t trust that they could make you happy. You must feel good about this person in order to believe that you could actually be with them which means appreciating what you do about them and accepting the rest.
These are just a few examples but you see what I mean.
You don’t have to be or feel perfect – just positive. Happy. Happiness is all you need. Happiness is everything.
Do you ever feel guilty about living in a beautiful home, being born into wealth, owning beautiful clothes, driving the car of your choice, the admiration you receive, working very little for great money, ending a relationship to great protest from your (former) partner, being in a relationship with someone who was desired by others but fell in love with you or quitting a job because you knew there was something better out there while your boss objected?
Do you feel guilty because of all the praise you receive, thinking you should be doing even more or fix the problems of every person in the world?
Do you ever feel guilty for having your pick of potential friends and romantic partners because people seem to be magnetically drawn to you?
Do you ever feel guilty for putting your own happiness first?
Do you feel guilty for being able to manifest everything you want instantly while others struggle?
Or, do you know that you should just enjoy and feel grateful for everything you have, loving it immensely, loving your life and knowing that the way to keep the blessings flowing is to be grateful for them?
In order to keep anything in your life, you must love and appreciate it. In order to keep another person in your life, you must love and appreciate them.
I can tell you that attempted guilt trips from some people in the past have made me want to distance myself from them. Once, a friend told me I was wrong to want to spend time with people other than her, as she wanted to do everything together. I felt suffocated and distanced myself from her until she eventually ended our friendship. I was grateful for it.
Another time, I quit a job after only four months. I knew it wasn’t right and leaving as soon as I realized it was the right thing to do. My then boss protested, making me even more convinced that I had made the right decision; however, someone close to me told me I should have stuck it out since “this man did hire you, after all.”
So what? It was his choice to do so, just like it was my choice to stay in this job or leave. I disliked the job and working with him profoundly, especially his sudden expectation of my working full time for a part time salary. It was an unhealthy environment for me to be in and things would have only gotten worse had I stayed. By the end, I wanted to distance myself from him as well as the person who had protested my choice of quitting together with him. Days later, I packed up and flew across the continent to visit some friends and remind myself I deserved to be happy.
Many fail to see the difference between choice and attachment. Every job, collaboration, friendship and a relationship is a choice! Someone who disagrees with your choices and tries to guilt you into making their choice is not giving love to you even though they think so – instead, they are trying to force their attachment on you, thinking you should want the same thing they do. They believe you don’t want to be with them as much as they want to be with you and condemn you for it in one way or another because they allow your freedom to upset them. When someone thinks that you should want to attend to their needs, they are projecting their (negative) feelings of inadequacy on you.
On the other hand, if they loved themselves and gave love and freedom to you instead of depending on you for their (temporary) happiness (because happiness based on external factors such as another person never lasts – only inner happiness does), you would have changed your mind. In that case, they would have offered you happiness and quality to come to.
It can be difficult to keep something in your life if you don’t appreciate it. What you feel negatively about in any way tends to leave or never appear, depending on whether or not you have it already. This is why you should never feel guilty for anything you love about your life.
You choose your experiences, career, love life, financial wealth and happiness.
You choose the people you want in your life.
People choose to talk to you, be with you, not be with you or create any type of connections with you – just like you do with them. If you want someone in your life, you are to influence them with love, positive energy and feeling wonderfully about yourself so that you could allow them to feel just as wonderfully about you. You are to respect their freedom and send loving/positive energy to them if you want them in your life. This energy will attract them. Out of that freedom, others choose to come to you which is how couples and friends come together.
So many are unhappy because the world tells them what they should want and they listen, as if they hold obligations to anyone but themselves. Their guilt dictates their reality.
You must be sure that what you want is yours and feel grateful for it, without guilt. Feeling guilty about wanting to live an abundant life keeps that life away from you.
I never feel guilty about anything I desire – I deserve it. If I take some time to figure out what I want, that’s fine, too. Life isn’t going anywhere and there’s plenty of time for everything. As soon as I decide and change my inner energy, life catches up.
The feeling of your desire missing from your life can be annoying, upsetting and can drive you into frantically working to change it in order to attract your desire instead.
I won’t even try to describe that feeling beautifully or eloquently because it isn’t; instead, this feeling is unpleasant and can lower your mood.
However, I am going to suggest several solutions for it.
Remain committed to staying in a good mood!
When your goal in life is to be in a good mood no matter what you do and where you are, knowing that bad mood is a waste of time, you will automatically want to go out and do something for yourself. Every time you fall into the bad mood, you will automatically want to change it.
When you get bored, think about what you would like to do to fix your mood. When you feel low, treat yourself (I hate that expression but it works). Go out and buy something for yourself, treat yourself to a meal you love, have a bubble bath, remember all the wonderful people in your life or, one of my favorites, donate money. In any way to anyone you want. Giving is something that will instantly raise your vibration.
Remember all those LoA sources telling you to get in a good mood first and then, think about having your desire in order to attract it even faster. To that, I want to add that when you remain in a good mood, when it becomes your goal, you will manifest your desires fast anyway.
When this dark feeling comes to you, you can change it by training your brain to automatically think opposite thoughts. You can repeat affirmations, self-devised or any you have read and liked, training your mind to automatically go to the positive when you think of the negative.
You can always use the steps described here. You will notice the similarities.
Why don’t you think you’re amazing?
I preach confidence non-stop because it makes manifestation easy. It helps you stay in a good mood. It makes everything in life easier. Many readers have told me they struggle with maintaining their confidence especially when manifesting relationships.
Confidence is a positive feeling, awareness and attitude. Confident individuals never judge themselves or others – one of the most important lessons we could ever learn. Confident people love their lives because they arrange them in all kinds of positive ways.
Now, do you love or need?
Loving the person you are allows you to love another. Feeling incomplete while thinking that another could complete you will inevitably trick you into thinking that you need them to be the person you always wanted to be.
Truth is, you don’t need anyone – relationships are a choice. You are capable of being happy on your own, allowing love to manifest into your life. Being happy on your own is also very healthy, allowing you to be the best possible partner to the person of your choice.
The most amazing partners are those who can be happy on their own.