WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF AN UNDESIRABLE WORK OPPORTUNITY

WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF AN UNDESIRABLE WORK OPPORTUNITY

As most of you know, I travel to, stay in and work from different countries but in the recent years, I have set up camp in my birthplace to which I return after each trip. Just like in various others, I have taken jobs in Zagreb, Croatia that were all speaking, workshop giving and seminar teaching engagements.

I recently wanted to manifest another collaboration opportunity here. Let us begin.

As I have said before, the first opportunity won’t always be the one when manifesting a specific goal. If you’re manifesting a job, your first interview or offer might not be what you want and it is up to you to stay positive and keep going. If you’re manifesting your ideal appearance, maybe it’ll come together one step at a time instead of all at once. If you’re manifesting your soul mate, it might not be the first person you go on a date with (but it also might!).

And as I was reminded, the first opportunity you stumble upon might be a complete opposite of what you want in a work engagement.

Since the field of education in this city is an efficient network and I taught university seminars for students and professors for two years, I was referred to another private school for a similar opportunity. They were looking for someone to give a lecture or a workshop in CV writing and interview skills, and I was given an email address for the person in charge. I wanted to be offered lecture dates with satisfying compensation I am used to receiving so I sent an email detailing my work experience and professional goals.

Twelve hours later, I received a reply. The person in charge of booking the lectures outlined exact demands my work experience was perfect for. We both agreed that the needs of this school were exactly what I offered but their email was concluded with the following lines.

“I must tell you though that our school does not offer compensation for these lectures. 🙂 ”

Yes. They put a smiley face at the end of that sentence.

“So, what do you think? Kind regards!”

I was baffled.

A private school in which students pay tuition on a regular basis wanted to hire a lecturer willing to work for free. What did I think? In the following email, this individual proved to be made aware of the unappealing terms but at the same time, those terms were not up to them.

After a few seconds of laughter, I realized I wasn’t even all that surprised. Local organizations offering fair compensation and looking for exceptional candidates are well aware of ones like this damaging the reputation of everyone in the field. One of the people that referred me to this position was borderline outraged, having been unaware of these terms.

I declined the offer with the following statement.

“Thank you for your email but given the terms, I will have to pass on this opportunity.”

Not to mention that the word “opportunity” evoked sarcasm in my mind.

Unless it’s valuable volunteer work, a private university that values their collaborative force so little is of no interest to me. To be fair, they didn’t reach out to me – I reached out to them after being referred to them. I thought they might be my next collaboration opportunity, a desire not specific to a country, city or school, but maybe this means I should get more specific in my goal and I will reach it faster.

Looking at it from the point of view of both the Law of Attraction and peculiar business practices, I find it very interesting that a private university whose staff routinely complains about a lack of quality in the skills of their student body isn’t willing to invest in someone who would improve those skills. And what are those students paying tuition for, if they are not getting the skills they need by the very admission of their own university?

I wanted to point some of these things out because quality of education and fair compensation are highly important topics in today’s world, as they have been at any point in history. But in the spirit of why we’re here on this blog, we could argue their Law of Attraction skills or we could argue mine. They give nothing and then complain about having developed nothing in their students. I will keep going and soon receive everything I asked for, just like I always do.

You get what you give – LoA tells us that every day. Last university I worked with in this city gave me one of the most valuable experiences of my life and having had such experiences, I wasn’t going to let this one take advantage of me. Unless you value yourself, how can others see your worth? What you accept for yourself sends others a message of the kind of treatment you deserve.

I am having new ideas on collaboration manifestations as we speak.

Have You Earned a Great Relationship?

Have You Earned a Great Relationship?

I continuously encounter individuals who believe a great relationship is something they are entitled to.

A great relationship is something everyone deserves, just like any other blessing in life. Everyone deserves to experience happiness but those that receive it have in fact earned it with their positive mindsets, respect for others and gratitude for their lives.

Everyone deserves it but a positive individual earns it, allowing a happy relationship to come into one’s reality.

On the other hand, those projecting negative energy (be it frustration, desperation, negative self-image, impatience, rudeness or general dissatisfaction) are continuously preventing what they deserve, a great relationship in this case, to appear in their lives.

You get what you give; genuine appreciation for life, your own and those of others, ensures you will receive an abundance of goodness in return. You merely need to find that appreciation.

The idea of an amazing relationship being earned holds truth but requires explanation; stating this idea as simply as it looks in writing may evoke negative reactions instead of positive. One becomes worthy of a great relationship by viewing oneself in a positive light, focusing on everything they enjoy in life, respecting one’s unique qualities as well as the qualities of others and having personal integrity that ensures standing by one’s personal beliefs.

Many believe they must earn a great relationship by fulfilling requirements such as career success, a larger-than-life personality, financial wealth or being classically good looking. However, basic creation principles state that one’s beliefs create one’s awareness; for example, individuals who deeply believe they cannot earn a great relationship until they have a great job will encounter specific experiences reflecting those beliefs.

The truth is, the relationship you desire has nothing to do with your social status unless you decide to believe it. Those who stick to beliefs such as “Once I get a good job, I will have inner peace and be ready for a relationship” will most likely find that the job, the relationship and the inner peace continue to elude them. Postponing those experiences by masking them as future goals will ensure they remain distant goals, making it impossible to catch up to that “perfect future.”

Now, I am not saying your desires are irrelevant but for as long as you think “I’ll be confident once I have this,” you are creating a future goal that will always remain in the future. In reality, you must be feel deserving of your goals now, feeling confident in yourself before you can obtain them.

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Contrary to popular belief, relationships have nothing to do with your social status, level of wealth, professional success or your looks. When it comes to relationships, you merely need to be confident in the person you are. You need to draw your confidence from internal factors instead of external. You need to recognize your personal qualities, the beauty of your physical traits, your intelligence and gratitude for everything you have in life.

One of the best ways to earn a great relationship rests in developing self-confidence, self-comfort and self-acceptance.

Amplifying those character traits with a positive mindset will allow you to focus on everything you love in life instead of everything you are currently missing. If you focus on your positive traits, you will effortlessly focus on your (potential) partner’s positive traits, enjoying your relationship immensely and solving problems in it easily. Suddenly, you will come to realize relationships were intended to be easy and enjoyable instead of being a constant ego battle between opposing sides. If you have an eye on a potential partner, you will be encouraged to communicate with them as you have recognized your own qualities while appreciating them for theirs. You will realize how much there is to be liked about you!

If you believe your looks are insufficient to evoke attraction in another, you will project an unhappy demeanor, tension and insecurity. The best part is, you can decide to focus on the aspects of your appearance you like instead. You can appreciate your beauty instead of focusing on the reasons it is less than perfect. This positive energy will evoke even more of the same, allowing you to feel increasingly great about yourself.

Ultimately, is there a real reason you should feel negatively about your appearance? Everyone holds a different idea of what beauty means. More importantly, we all respond to each other’s energy much stronger than any physical attributes – every time you were attracted someone who wasn’t your “type” proves that.

Do you compare yourself to others? This is another mistake which can prevent you from receiving life’s goods. Do you believe you must match an ideal another specific person represents to you while considering anything “less” to be insufficient? This mindset only states your lack of appreciation for yourself, as you feel undeserving of love. Even if you think your (potential) partner only wants the ideal you have imagined he/she must, it doesn’t mean you’re right.

We all know the story – one perceives their desired partner to be “too good for me.” “He/She is out of my league,” they imagine, never making a move or deeming themselves worthy instead. This thought process is perpetuated until the object of their affection meets someone else.

There are plenty of similar examples. However, it all comes down to the following.

Searching for the reasons to postpone living a happy relationship only shows that you doubt your own value. If recognizing the said value undoubtedly ensures finding a great relationship, what is the point of feeling inadequate?

Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.

Should You Only Want Unique Beauty or Can You Also Want Guilt-Free Luxury?

Should You Only Want Unique Beauty or Can You Also Want Guilt-Free Luxury?

We simply must know what kind of life(style) we want because knowing what would truly make us happy is the key to manifesting it. Unless we know, we have to settle for letting the Universe provide it but then what do you do in the meantime? Isn’t it better to discover what would make you happy on your own and then visualize it while knowing it’s yours already?

If it isn’t better to do it this way, you can always ask the Universe to show you your true happiness and stay patient while allowing it to happen. But if you want to discover it yourself, you will live a life of trying different things and having fun with them until you find your ultimate bliss.

One of the things I always, always, always (!!!) wanted to have as part of my lifestyle was traveling. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know I started manifesting not just traveling but living in various countries on various continents when I was fourteen. Continue reading “Should You Only Want Unique Beauty or Can You Also Want Guilt-Free Luxury?”

Negative Thoughts the Teacher and You Awareness the Student – Choice of the Lessons Learned

Negative Thoughts the Teacher and You Awareness the Student – Choice of the Lessons Learned

I woke up the other day and decided that I was going to go back to being an entirely positive person.

Even if this is who you are most of the time, some things cause temporary stress which makes it hard but I put my all into pulling myself out of it. I suppose in the past weeks, I felt a little burned out.

It’s not like everything has been going smoothly. I had gotten sick for the first time in four years and even a good cold can bring you down – just ask all my clients who have called in for a session during that week! But I love my work so I wanted to remain available because it lifted my spirits. I’ve been exhausted – not chronically but occasionally. I struggled to get along with those closest to me several times. At the same time, I learned to value and always feel confident about my own feelings all over again…and that was an amazing reminder. Especially after I realized that somehow, I had focused on the negative instead of the positive on several occasions and I don’t even know how that happened. I guess one can get caught up in negative feelings sometimes.

Had I become the person I advise everyone to avoid being? I’m probably exaggerating but I learned my lesson which I want to share with you today – I have just gone through this particular period and come out the other side because I hadn’t communicated my issues in a positive way but in a negative manner instead, both to myself and others.

Continue reading “Negative Thoughts the Teacher and You Awareness the Student – Choice of the Lessons Learned”

The Stages of Overcoming Annoyance

The Stages of Overcoming Annoyance

Getting rid of the feelings of anger, annoyance or irritation has been my personal battle against negative thoughts at times. It was either one of the following two – fearing boredom or feeling annoyed with people or circumstances completely unnecessary to my situation.

Once, my then boyfriend’s ex attempted to interfere with our relationship. I told him I would get end our relationship if he didn’t cut her off. He did. I have been harshly dismissing people who had attempted to involve themselves in any situation of my life ever since even though I am often aware that simply ignoring them is enough. And I can tell you that this irritation with them instead of pretending they don’t exist doesn’t make me feel good. Today, I have made a promise to myself that I will continue to act as if they don’t even exist – to me, this is positive thinking because it means removing myself away from negativity and the people generating it.

Lately, my weakness hasn’t been firing back at those that have tried to insert themselves into my life (you have to sometimes) but still being irritated with them long after I chased them away.  Continue reading “The Stages of Overcoming Annoyance”

Not Giving Up on Them – What Does it Mean?

Not Giving Up on Them – What Does it Mean?

Should I start referring to myself as a “positivity coach?” “Life and positivity coach?” I don’t know yet but I’ve been playing around with that term today.

A client of mine recently introduced me to the following quote:

“A person who truly loves you will never stop believing in you and will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.” (Courtesy of powerofpositivity.com) My client then asked me to elaborate on this quote and gave me plenty of ideas through which to explain it.

This quote refers to several things and several stages of a relationship (or a relationship manifestation). To me, it means the following.

Continue reading “Not Giving Up on Them – What Does it Mean?”

Why Being Complete Within Ourselves Translates to Relationship Happiness

Why Being Complete Within Ourselves Translates to Relationship Happiness

Every relationship conflict starts with an internal conflict of not knowing what one wants, doubting one’s self-worth or the fear of being alone.

No one has ever entered a relationship feeling amazing about themselves and ending up in a miserable situation out of nowhere – this just doesn’t happen. One brings one’s own issues into a relationship which can only be an expression of one’s inner world, not an uncontrollable external force that has suddenly shattered one’s confidence. We can only work with what we bring in, whether or not this specific awareness changes throughout the course of a relationship. Even if one changes during a relationship, it was one’s choice to change.

My coaching clients who are reading this blog could tell you that every relationship problem goes back to self-perception and that is why we work on their self-love and personal confidence while creating a positive perception of relationship simultaneously. Looking back on your relationship history, it would soon become apparent to you that you held onto the same inner feelings every time (or at least most of the time). Our relationships can’t change until we start to feel better about ourselves, with or without them.

One must become aware of the fact that no relationship can fix their insecurities, mood or awareness.

What we bring into a relationship, we express. Continue reading “Why Being Complete Within Ourselves Translates to Relationship Happiness”