How to Use the Law of Attraction to Stop Growing Older

There is an idea I continuously struggle with – why does ageing, the most normal concept in the world, absolutely must mean “growing older” by default? And I wouldn’t have a problem with this if, according to society, it didn’t automatically mean having to drop everything they loved about themselves or life because beauty, self love and joy are usually only associated with those aged twenty five or less (or older but rich and famous, worst case).

But should you really listen to society? Law of Attraction says that the way you see yourself is the way others will see you, and that you will attract people who agree with your positive awareness into your life and see you exactly as you see yourself.

You don’t have to see yourself as old just because you’re older than twenty five. You don’t have to perceive yourself as “older” with every passing year. You are simply moving forward chronologically but do not force yourself to become “older” as a result, especially not by engaging in negative thoughts about yourself due to age.

You only grow older if you feel older but the simple concept of ageing does not mean you have to lose your youthful spirit.

And I’m not going to lie to you, I have a hard time standing people who use their age as an excuse to stop trying and start feeling entitled in life. They are not attractive. They are undervaluing and underselling themselves every day for no good reason, yet they deserve as much love and happiness as any other (young) person or any person they admire and look up to.

Why is “young” only limited to your mean twenties and below? I’m thirty three which is still very young. Any age is too young for something. Two is too young to start school. Thirteen is too young to call yourself an adult, start working full time and live on your own. Sixty is too young to die. With all these examples, why can’t most individuals drop the concept of connecting youth or a youthful spirit to age?

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Me, age 1.

Considering yourself “too old” for what you want (or anything, for that matter) can potentially hurt your manifestation abilities. If you observe it from society’s regular point of view, feeling too old for something can ruin your mood and prompt you to consider yourself unworthy instead of deserving of making your dreams come true.

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With a seeing eye dog, age 25.

An easy way to beat your fear is to say the following.

The older I get, the better I look. 

You will notice we used the phrase “older” here even though we said we wouldn’t give it importance – this is because using a fearful word in a positive context takes away its power to make you feel negative. We have taken the word “older” and turned it into something good. The choice of words when using affirmations is important but not in the way you think I’m about to define.

I live by this affirmation and use it once a day…and I would never want to go back to looking the way I did at twenty five, given the choice. It’s not that it wasn’t good but what I have now is even better. Don’t you want to love yourself more with each passing year and not less?

When using affirmations, use the words that make you feel good! If you do this, you will feel good saying and thinking about those affirmations, and this positive energy will produce the very thing that you desire.

What would your perfectly worded version of this affirmation be?

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Me through several years and hairdos – ages 1, 27 and 29.

Allowing ourselves to find ourselves “too old” for the things we would truly love to have is a mistake. Seriously, what’s good about it? What would be the point? I have come to realize that a person’s sense of identity might be challenged or altered with age but there is a difference between being mature and feeling “old.” I can keep my youthful spirit while remaining a mature person with good values. I can remain positive while knowing that I should never stop trying new things in life, as they open my mind and allow me to keep getting to know myself. It doesn’t matter if I try something once or if it turns into my new favorite pastime – either way, it raises my vibration, making me realize who I am all over again while lightening my awareness and overall mood.

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In Brussels, age 26.

You can’t stop feeling and therefore dressing attractive(ly) just because your chronological age has increased. Ageing does not excuse you to stop being, feeling and dressing attractive because this type of awareness is reserved for young people. It isn’t. There is age-appropriate sexy but dropping it altogether is another big mistake you want to avoid. You can’t stop feeling like a woman, a man, a beautiful or a sexually viable person simply because you are now forty, fifty or sixty instead of twenty three. This can’t happen because you will not be happy if you set aside highlighting (and enjoying) your physical beauty. If you did, you would damage your confidence and end up exactly where you don’t want to be – depending on the approval of others because you don’t love yourself enough. 

Don’t do this. It goes against the very principle of self-love, a love that is necessary to make Law of Attraction work.

I mean, we all know at least one example of this. There is a wonderful person in every single on of our lives that is smart, beautiful and worthy but all they do is talk about the level of attractiveness they’re lacking. They  never talk about how good they feel about the way they look but merely refer to themselves as “old” or “unappealing.” They are perpetually focused on everything that’s wrong with their looks.

I know someone who used to be like this and changed. They used to constantly complain about how they “don’t need to bother dressing up.” They used to call others desirable but spoke of themselves as if they were the opposite. They were convinced others didn’t like them due to reasons that were entirely self-imposed. One day, they realized that those who are attractive view themselves as such first. They realized that age does not matter when it comes to beauty. Since, they have been enjoying their beauty, happily spent time pampering themselves and as they had no one but themselves to blame for their formerly negative attitude, they suddenly turned it entirely positive.

I’ve also helped others change from this (and this isn’t me bragging – I’m a life coach). I have seen the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, the luckiest people look down on themselves because they had been focusing on the one thing they felt was missing from their life instead of focusing on what they had and let the Law of Attraction give them even more.

These are also the individuals who don’t understand the concept of “age appropriate.” This term doesn’t exist to make you feel older – it exists to help you look younger! If you wear the clothes appropriate for your figure and age, you will look younger, not older! Just because age-appropriate looks exist does not mean you’re being called “old.” These things exist to enhance your appearance in order to make you look younger!

If I were to wear a style appropriate for a ten year old at thirty three, I would definitely look even older; if I wore clothing appropriate to my age, I would actually look younger. This is an important factor many don’t understand but if you think about it, you’ll see what I mean. You can prolong the concept of age appropriate by manifesting younger looks but there is no shame in looking thirty when you’re forty five instead of absolutely having to look twenty because you think it’s what society respects. This is also why many stick to simplicity or different forms of a “classic” style – trends leave but the universally loved style works for and is adored by all ages. Classic is timeless and ageless. Some things work despite things like age and time, and this is shared by style lovers of any age.

We decide who we are and how attractive we are, and not society – they can only go by what we set for ourselves. Decide you are attractive and looking much younger, and you will attract others seeing you the same way. When it comes to you, your awareness and your life, you lead while others follow.

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Me in April, already 33.

I mean, does ageing really have to change you?

Manifesting Relationships – Does it Matter What Kind?

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When I say relationships, I mean friendships, love, family relationships, professional relationships and any other you can think of. Let’s discuss manifesting them!

I believe we all have something we absolutely love to manifest and manifesting specific people is what really turns me on. Attracting friendships, relationships and specific people I want professional opportunities from makes all of us happy simply because I have decided that I bring happiness.

Manifesting specific relationships brings love into our lives while making them everything we wanted them to be.

When manifesting relationships with specific people, I aim for the both of us to be happy, if not happier than ever.

Manifesting professional opportunities means just as much to me in terms of making people happy.

Some people get a rush from manifesting money. Others, career opportunities. They get a rush from feeling powerful and manifesting even more power into their lives. I love to manifest both those things and maintain my professional and financial lifestyle with ease but the purpose of my work is to inspire other people. I love it when my work offers me an opportunity to create my best work to date and when I motivate myself to create it. I love being financially compensated for my work because it achieved the expected result. I love feeling deserving of the compensation I wish to receive and enjoy it.

Feeling deserving of living the life I want and nurturing my interests and goals makes me feel even more convinced that I am bringing happiness, excitement and value into the lives of the people I manifest relationships with. Everything I do and everything I choose to do makes me a happier person.

When it comes to feeling deserving of desires manifested, I always push for self-confidence as the answer. You already know that. However, self-confidence doesn’t mean having to be someone you are not; self-confidence means being comfortable being the person you wish to be, being comfortable doing the things you wish to do.

Self-confidence means feeling deserving of living the life you want.

When it comes to friendships, for example, self-confidence means avoiding being affected by negative opinions of others while choosing friends according to their appreciation of you and your friendship. Truly loving friends will love you and be happy for you while also loving and being happy for themselves.

When it comes you, self-confidence and love mean refusing to engage in negative self-perception, fears and negative life anticipations.

Self-confidence means expecting to receive the happiness you truly deserve. By default, self-confidence also means sending love out into the world with your actions, words, feelings and your honest approach to people.

When it comes to manifesting relationships, self-confidence means believing that you are succeeding because your goal is to make the person you want in your life happy! They already make you happy and you have decided to make them feel the same way. That’s how I see it.

When One Doesn’t Need a Relationship…

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that self-confidence and the ability to let go share a deep connection.

I was given permission to share this story. Recently, a friend of mine got out of a long-term relationship and while wanting to relax before hitting the dating scene, they became a target of some very interested individuals instead. My friend’s lack of interest in anything serious removed the internal need for a relationship which resulted in becoming magnetic to the opposite sex. However, these individuals who are targeting my friend overdo it to say the least, reciprocating every iota of interest with a snowball of excessive attention. With my friend’s breakup still fresh in their mind, causing some conflicted personal values, they have come to fear refusing these individuals’ advances and hurting their feelings.

There is no doubt that my friend needs to regain their confidence and values before entering a new relationship but the behavior of these two individuals who have their eye on this friend of mine shows attachment instead of confidence.

How do I know?

Let me explain.

My friend doesn’t feel that either of these two individuals is quite captivating. They feel that both individuals are sweet but overplaying their hand, possibly insecure and coming on strongly instead of respecting the need for space my friend (verbally) expressed. Instead of receiving the space requested, my friend is being chased which is a primal reaction on an energetic level but a poor choice on their admirers’ side.

I have said before that one can make moves only when certain that what he/she wants belongs to them already. On the other hand, making moves in order to “get” something one doesn’t have yet is generally a bad idea. Simple as that.

What my friend does have in this case is fulfillment in their single life – having come out of a relationship, they feel the need for a new one and attract admirers as a result. My friend feels good on their own right now which is a requirement for anyone wishing to attract new people.

At the same time, my friend is attracting the people they are not interested in having long term (or, any kind of) involvements with. This is because they are putting the pieces of their personal happiness back together yet none of the individuals pursuing my friend are convinced that they can make the relationship happen.

There are plenty of LoA lessons in this example. If one of my friend’s admirers decided that they wanted a relationship and had unconditional faith, that relationship could happen.

If one of my friend’s admirers loved themselves as much as they keep asking my friend to “love” them, my friend would feel much stronger attraction for them.

To sum up,

Those who love themselves and are confident in their abilities can let go of their desire to manifest. They already have much love in their lives…because they give it to themselves.

Have You Earned a Great Relationship?

This post first appeared on my (first) blog, https://improvingconfidence.wordpress.com/

I continuously encounter individuals who believe a great relationship is something they are entitled to.

A great relationship is something everyone deserves, just like any other blessing in life. Everyone deserves to experience happiness but those that receive it have in fact earned it with their positive mindsets, respect for others and gratitude for their lives.

Everyone deserves it but a positive individual earns it, allowing a happy relationship to come into their reality.

On the other hand, those projecting negative energy (be it frustration, desperation, negative self-image, impatience, rudeness or general dissatisfaction) are continuously preventing what they deserve, a great relationship in this case, to appear in their lives.

You get what you give; genuine appreciation for life, your own and those of others, ensures you will receive an abundance of goodness in return. You merely need to find that appreciation.

The idea of an amazing relationship being earned holds truth but requires explanation; stating this idea as simply as it looks in writing may evoke negative reactions instead of positive. One becomes worthy of a great relationship by viewing oneself in a positive light, focusing on everything they enjoy in life, respecting one’s unique qualities as well as the qualities of others and having personal integrity that ensures standing by one’s personal beliefs.

Many believe they must earn a great relationship by fulfilling requirements such as career success, a larger-than-life personality, financial wealth or being classically good looking. However, basic creation principles state that one’s beliefs create one’s awareness; for example, individuals who deeply believe they cannot earn a great relationship until they have a great job will encounter specific experiences reflecting those beliefs.

Truth is, the relationship you desire has nothing to do with your social status unless you decide to believe it. Those who stick to beliefs such as “Once I get a good job, I will have inner peace and be ready for a relationship” will most likely find that the job, the relationship and the inner peace continue to elude them. Postponing those experiences by masking them as future goals will ensure they remain distant goals, making it impossible to catch up to that “perfect future.”

Now, I am not saying your desires are irrelevant but for as long as you think “I’ll be confident once I have this,” you are creating a future goal that will always remain in the future. In reality, you must feel deserving of your goals now and be confident in yourself before you can obtain them.

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Contrary to popular belief, relationships have nothing to do with your social status, level of wealth, professional success or your looks. When it comes to relationships, you merely need to be confident in the person you are. You need to draw your confidence from internal factors instead of external. You need to recognize your personal qualities, the beauty of your physical traits, your intelligence and gratitude for everything you have in life.

One of the best ways to earn a great relationship rests in developing self-confidence, self-comfort and self-acceptance.

Amplifying those character traits with a positive mindset will allow you to focus on everything you love in life instead of everything you are currently missing. If you focus on your positive traits, you will effortlessly focus on your (potential) partner’s positive traits, enjoying your relationship immensely and solving problems in it easily. Suddenly, you will come to realize relationships were intended to be easy and enjoyable instead of being a constant ego battle between opposing sides. If you have an eye on a potential partner, you will be encouraged to communicate with them as you have recognized your own qualities while appreciating them for theirs. You will realize how much there is to be liked about you!

If you believe your looks are insufficient to evoke attraction in another, you will project an unhappy demeanor, tension and insecurity. The best part is, you can decide to focus on the aspects of your appearance you like instead. You can appreciate your beauty instead of focusing on the reasons it is less than perfect. This positive energy will evoke even more of the same, allowing you to feel increasingly great about yourself.

Ultimately, is there a real reason you should feel negatively about your appearance? Everyone holds a different idea of what beauty means. More importantly, we all respond to each other’s energy much stronger than any physical attributes – every time you were attracted someone who wasn’t your “type” proves that.

Do you compare yourself to others? This is another mistake which can prevent you from receiving life’s goods. Do you believe you must match an ideal another specific person represents to you while considering anything “less” to be insufficient? This mindset only states your lack of appreciation for yourself, as you feel undeserving of love. Even if you think your (potential) partner only wants the ideal you have imagined him/her wanting, it doesn’t mean you’re right.

We all know the story – one perceives their desired partner to be “too good for me.” “He/She is out of my league,” they imagine, never making a move or deeming themselves worthy. This thought process is perpetuated until the object of their affection meets someone else.

There are plenty of similar examples. However, it all comes down to the following.

Searching for the reasons to postpone living a happy relationship only shows that you doubt your own value. If recognizing the said value undoubtedly ensures finding a great relationship, what is the point of feeling inadequate?

Manifestation Epidemic – Attractiveness and Stability Lost

Anyone can be just as attractive as someone else. Like anything, this type of awareness comes from your inner world instead of your physical attributes.

When impatient to manifest a desire as soon as possible, many forget that feeling good about themselves is essential to their success. Whether it’s self confidence, self comfort, self love or simply feeling that they have everything they need, the others who succeed do so because they feel good (about themselves, whether or not they realize it).

Do you spend much time trying to be someone you’re not, measure up to someone else or feel that you need to “improve?”

Think of someone you consider attractive. Then, think about why you find them attractive. You know it’s more than just their looks. What do you like about the energy this person projects? Do they possess any attributes you admire? It’s all about the way one feels! 

You are only as attractive as you feel and you can understand that you will only be as attractive as you allow yourself to feel. If you dare to feel as attractive as someone you admire, to use the most simplified example, you would understand why it comes from within even though it may seem otherwise.

This entire field of manifestation epidemic can be resolved with self love, just like anything else. At the same time, an insight into why people think the way they do might help you accept and understand why you can feel good.

Attractiveness and Stability

Being able to wait for your desire patiently is a sign of personal stability.

Personal stability can be achieved with love. If you feel a great deal of love for your desire (and, yourself), you can get there fast. If you keep looking for it, you are definitely not ready to live it. How could you be? You don’t believe it’s yours! Self love can help you with this – a practice I always recommend, self love leads to inner peace, emotional stability and everything else that makes you feel good.

When it comes to relationships, stability is a quality that adds to your attractiveness. We are all attracted to people who don’t seem to need anything but are happy in the life they created, with everything they have, all of which adds to their stability. If you are unhappy with what you have, it is difficult to feel attractive and deserving. See what I mean?

You are not trying to achieve stability for the sake of your desire – you want to achieve it for yourself first, for your own happiness. Stability equals happiness. If you don’t believe me, look back on any time you were happy with your life without feeling the need for anything else. Those were the times you were steady in every way and simply happy. Those were the times you looked ahead with hope and positive expectations instead of fear and worry.

Stability can also be achieved with patience (or, it can lead to patience). Stability and patience go hand in hand. When you feel happy and calm, knowing you’re going to get what you want, you feel good which in turn makes you even more attractive.

Sometimes, stability means avoiding mistakes. Other times, it means admitting to them. To me, stability also means honesty which is why I practice it in my case.

You probably look at some people and think that they’re more attractive than you. Don’t feel unattractive – it’s not worth it, especially when knowing it all comes from within. If you want, use those people as inspiration, not negative self classification, but always be and remain yourself.

A “Big Deal” Manifestation – Has it Ever Happened to You?

This often happens with relationships but can also be experienced with any desire one considers to be a gigantic life change or the answer to all their problems, the ultimate escape from their current reality.

Some simply see their desire as a big deal that would make them happy beyond their wildest dreams and change their life forever. Even though positive in its core, this particular way of looking at your desire can cause resistance in you instead of allowing for a smooth manifestation process.

If you think your desired manifestation will be the answer to all your problems or somehow add value to your person and life, remember that you are the one who has to provide their own life with value. Someone can be an addition to you but you must hold your own value. You could have more money, your dream career or a bigger home but you still must provide value to your own life.

See what I mean?

You might think that you will be validated when your specific person asks you to marry them or when you get that perfect job. However, you must validate yourself now. You are the only person who has to recognize your own value before anyone else does. If you know your value, you will know your power. You will know what you deserve and that is everything you want.

If you want your desired manifestation to make you valuable, think about it again. If you don’t feel valuable, why should your desired manifestation happen in the first place?

When we feel poorly about ourselves, nothing happens but when we feel good, we make everything happen for ourselves with our thoughts and feelings.

When you feel valuable, you are happy to contribute to the world, your relationships and choose the life you want simply because you deserve it. When you realize you are valuable and beautiful, your desired manifestation seems like the natural next step for you instead of some goal that will forever be out of reach.

Don’t be afraid to feel and think well of yourself – you deserve it.