WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF AN UNDESIRABLE WORK OPPORTUNITY

As most of you know, I travel to, stay in and work from different countries but in the recent years, I have set up camp in my birthplace to which I return after each trip. Just like in various others, I have taken jobs in Zagreb, Croatia that were all speaking, workshop giving and seminar teaching engagements.

I recently wanted to manifest another collaboration opportunity here. Let us begin.

As I have said before, the first opportunity won’t always be the one when manifesting a specific goal. If you’re manifesting a job, your first interview or offer might not be what you want and it is up to you to stay positive and keep going. If you’re manifesting your ideal appearance, maybe it’ll come together one step at a time instead of all at once. If you’re manifesting your soul mate, it might not be the first person you go on a date with (but it also might!).

And as I was reminded, the first opportunity you stumble upon might be a complete opposite of what you want in a work engagement.

Since the field of education in this city is an efficient network and I taught university seminars for students and professors for two years, I was referred to another private school for a similar opportunity. They were looking for someone to give a lecture or a workshop in CV writing and interview skills, and I was given an email address for the person in charge. I wanted to be offered lecture dates with satisfying compensation I am used to receiving so I sent an email detailing my work experience and professional goals.

Twelve hours later, I received a reply. The person in charge of booking the lectures outlined exact demands my work experience was perfect for. We both agreed that the needs of this school were exactly what I offered but their email was concluded with the following lines.

“I must tell you though that our school does not offer compensation for these lectures. 🙂 ”

Yes. They put a smiley face at the end of that sentence.

“So, what do you think? Kind regards!”

I was baffled.

A private school in which students pay tuition on a regular basis wanted to hire a lecturer willing to work for free. What did I think? In the following email, this individual proved to be made aware of the unappealing terms but at the same time, those terms were not up to them.

After a few seconds of laughter, I realized I wasn’t even all that surprised. Local organizations offering fair compensation and looking for exceptional candidates are well aware of ones like this damaging the reputation of everyone in the field. One of the people that referred me to this position was borderline outraged, having been unaware of these terms.

I declined the offer with the following statement.

“Thank you for your email but given the terms, I will have to pass on this opportunity.”

Not to mention that the word “opportunity” evoked sarcasm in my mind.

Unless it’s valuable volunteer work, a private university that values their collaborative force so little is of no interest to me. To be fair, they didn’t reach out to me – I reached out to them after being referred to them. I thought they might be my next collaboration opportunity, a desire not specific to a country, city or school, but maybe this means I should get more specific in my goal and I will reach it faster.

Looking at it from the point of view of both the Law of Attraction and peculiar business practices, I find it very interesting that a private university whose staff routinely complains about a lack of quality in the skills of their student body isn’t willing to invest in someone who would improve those skills. And what are those students paying tuition for, if they are not getting the skills they need by the very admission of their own university?

I wanted to point some of these things out because quality of education and fair compensation are highly important topics in today’s world, as they have been at any point in history. But in the spirit of why we’re here on this blog, we could argue their Law of Attraction skills or we could argue mine. They give nothing and then complain about having developed nothing in their students. I will keep going and soon receive everything I asked for, just like I always do.

You get what you give – LoA tells us that every day. Last university I worked with in this city gave me one of the most valuable experiences of my life and having had such experiences, I wasn’t going to let this one take advantage of me. Unless you value yourself, how can others see your worth? What you accept for yourself sends others a message of the kind of treatment you deserve.

I am having new ideas on collaboration manifestations as we speak.

Dealing With Another Person’s Criticism of Your Appearance

Japanese cherry blossom flower spring bloom CT USA

I recently changed my hair color. Many of my close ones liked it, loved it or commented of how striking it was…except one person.

One of the closest people to me told me my new hair color was “too dark” for me several times. Their opinion didn’t change my perception but I didn’t like hearing it either.

Then, I realized that it wasn’t the words I heard that lowered my vibration – every time this person commented on my hair, I was already on a moderately lower vibration than usual. I’d been tired or momentarily annoyed about something and right then, this person commented on my hair without me having asked.

So I got back on a high vibration. I pampered myself, chose positive thoughts, had nothing but positive expectations and nurtured my appearance. I started manifesting many things every day again and soon enough, I began receiving compliments for my hair from most individuals I would come across.

20181019_1400321067222368466228426.jpg

I already loved my hair when looking in the mirror and then, everyone else told me how much they loved it, too. And the best thing was that I had partially raised my own vibration by looking in the mirror and loving what I saw, regardless of the disapproval from a person close to me.

I hadn’t questioned my love for my dark hair but this person commented on it being “too dark” in the moments my vibration was low due to other, unrelated momentary irritations.

It only matters what you truly like – not anybody else.

I wish I could tell you I had come to some new revelations as a result of this but I am simply going to continue to preach what I always do. It only matters that you always keep yourself on a high vibration for yourself, do what you like and expect to receive what you like/expect that everything you want is yours already. No one else’s opinion matters and it won’t make you happy unless you like yourself. You have to think about who you want to be and what will make you happy to have.

Criticism from others doesn’t come from them even when you feel like it does – it comes from you already feeling not so great about yourself. It comes from perceiving your own lack of value while being on a low vibration. When you engage in annoying thoughts about anything, you don’t believe the best of yourself and then, others don’t either.

When you’re annoyed about anything, you acknowledge that life isn’t what you want and your vibration continues to lower; however, when negative thoughts come and you pick yourself up by remembering how valuable you are and that what you want is yours already, you remember that you deserve and already possess everything you’ve set your heart on.

Confidence and self-love are even more important than you think, even when you perceive them as the most important aspects of life. There is no limit to their importance to our happiness.

You must put in the necessary work and discover what you truly desire. If someone’s words or behavior upsets you, this is a sign of being unhappy with yourself and until this part of you is resolved – not by receiving approval from others but by you – you will be preventing yourself from manifesting your dreams.

Switch to being a positive person from now on and watch everything you want come together soon.

How to Love Unconditionally When Your Specific Person is Difficult

Unconditional love and acceptance, masked as not caring about what a person does or simply loving them for everything they are, allow us to manifest relationships rapidly. However, when forgiveness for the past or the present is involved, hurt feelings can get in the way of appreciating someone unconditionally.

It’s easy for us to accept the people we don’t care about or don’t perceive as important to our lives. On the other hand, those important to us are those we expect certain behaviors from and if our preferred behaviors are not immediately present, we can develop resentment or fear that our relationship is simply “not working out.”

The trick is to accept the person for who they are because then, we are able to imagine them treating us exactly the way we want to be treated. But if we don’t accept them to start, we won’t be able to imagine them being even better because we will continue to focus on their flaws and nothing else.

An dip into negative feelings can happen when we project our needs to the other person and expect them to fulfil those needs – in this case, we must ask ourselves if we are projecting onto them the needs we can only fulfil ourselves.

We don’t feel good when we are needy and this neediness often translates into wanting to receive more communication from the person. However, the way to achieve that is to imagine receiving this communication in the way that makes you feel good! You simply must give into good, positive feelings to make the Law of Attraction work – you want to imagine happily living your life with this person and being treated the way you want to be.

If you simply focus on them not doing what you want and not fulfilling your needs, you will lower your vibration and think permanently negatively of them as a result…and that will hurt your manifestation. Thinking poorly of someone translates into you seeing them not fulfilling your needs and not doing what you want, and your impression of the relationship growing in negativity.

Now is the time to ask yourself if you are asking your specific person to fulfil both sides of the equation – their own needs and your own? Because this doesn’t work. You have to do your part if you expect them to do theirs. Everything we give back, we receive in return.

When you love and accept a specific person unconditionally, they give the same to you.

On the other hand, when you are upset with a person’s behavior, they fail to give you the love and attention you desire and a relationship doesn’t manifest.

We must assume and visualize everything we wish to receive from a specific person while calling our negative thoughts false and paranoid. We simply must tell ourselves to think positive because only then can we assume the best of ourselves and everyone else.

We must only imagine the scenarios that make us the happiest.

All Life’s Challenges Are Blessings in Disguise

me selfie FlixBus

Let’s be honest – we do not truly enjoy too many challenges life throws at us. At one time or another, we all felt that the permanent state of bliss was out of our reach. Just when we thought we might have reached an optimism nirvana, a challenge may have come along to derail our level of enthusiasm and force us to acknowledge we have not truly achieved inner bliss.

After the fact, we may be grateful for the challenges that helped us learn and turned us into better people but for the duration, we sometimes allow ourselves to be destroyed by them.

Having faith in your dreams coming true is often difficult when you have been exhausted by life’s excruciating circumstances. All of these circumstances are or have been challenges in their own right. Challenges exist to help us grow – this is my firm belief. Embracing this notion and accepting them when they appear will make getting through them a lot easier. There is no challenge that appears for no reason and there is none we do not learn at least one new thing from. Having said that, we truly need to accept them when they appear; if we resist them, they will remain. Changing our outlook on life’s challenges will stop us from trying to prevent them and will make them wash away.

After all, doesn’t everything we give no feeling to simply fade away?

Let’s go over the benefits challenges can bring if approached in the right way.

Your connection with your inner self becomes your only guide.

Look back on your life and you will find one or several regrets you harbour to this very day.

How many times did you make a specific choice in your life simply because you were expected to? It was not what you truly wanted but you succumbed to external pressure. We all did it at least once now, it is time to stop. If you already have regrets at this point in your life, what makes you think you will not have them in the future? You will unless you change and the time to make that change is now.

The pressures of the world can be painful to deal with but only our own thoughts are responsible for our lives. When faced with pressure coming from anyone (or yourself), focus on what your heart is saying to you. Focus on what you want and what makes you happy. You only live your life for yourself and those that try to tell you what to do are free to go ahead and live their own lives. Even when it comes from a good place, a piece of advice your heart is advising you against has to be ignored. Otherwise, you are not following your bliss and you will only have yourself to blame for the results of that.

When you are able to power through a challenge relying on your own beliefs, your self confidence will increase even more than you might realize. You will be happier and others will surely follow your example.

You are no longer easily shocked and the magnitude of any challenge is eventually minimized.

When accepted calmly, challenges are minimized in many ways. When you see them as opportunities, their effect begins to change. Challenges lose a lot of their power to rattle your thoughts and life while you only have yourself to thank for it. Imagine owning your inner power in the way that you never feel insecure about making a decision again. Imagine having the trust in your choices to be the only ones that could ever make you happy and feeling secure enough to make them.

You can.

Personally, I was never fond of the search process in life. Job search, searching for a Master’s thesis topic or searching for perfect clothes were all filled with ups and downs which nearly made me want to give up.

I reached my goal every single time. That was the only thing I knew I would do. The search process was my challenge. The waiting part and the sometimes necessary patience caused fewer problems for me than the search process, which with job hunting in particular was painful for me. Everything changed when one day, I decided to lighten (it) up because I knew there had to be an easier way to reach my goals since I knew with such conviction I would reach them every time. I decided I was going to appreciate the search process and learn everything there was to learn from it. Suddenly, I was able to draw into it anything I wanted with pure feelings, love and belief. This took a little practice but it was worth it.

Life may be giving us challenges in order to give us even more choices. This might sound odd but think about it – every time you were given a challenge you did not know what to do with at first, there were always several choices attached to it. Every challenge ultimately serves a single purpose – to allow you to confirm what it is you truly want. Challenges help us learn about ourselves and they appear to help us grow. Some have discovered what they wanted as a direct result of the challenge thrown their way and if this has happened to you, say ‘thank you.’

Say ‘thank you’ for any challenge you have ever been given, as it helped shape you into the amazing individual you are today.

How to Use the Law of Attraction to Stop Growing Older

There is an idea I continuously struggle with – why does ageing, the most normal concept in the world, absolutely must mean “growing older” by default? And I wouldn’t have a problem with this if, according to society, it didn’t automatically mean having to drop everything they loved about themselves or life because beauty, self love and joy are usually only associated with those aged twenty five or less (or older but rich and famous, worst case).

But should you really listen to society? Law of Attraction says that the way you see yourself is the way others will see you, and that you will attract people who agree with your positive awareness into your life and see you exactly as you see yourself.

You don’t have to see yourself as old just because you’re older than twenty five. You don’t have to perceive yourself as “older” with every passing year. You are simply moving forward chronologically but do not force yourself to become “older” as a result, especially not by engaging in negative thoughts about yourself due to age.

You only grow older if you feel older but the simple concept of ageing does not mean you have to lose your youthful spirit.

And I’m not going to lie to you, I have a hard time standing people who use their age as an excuse to stop trying and start feeling entitled in life. They are not attractive. They are undervaluing and underselling themselves every day for no good reason, yet they deserve as much love and happiness as any other (young) person or any person they admire and look up to.

Why is “young” only limited to your mean twenties and below? I’m thirty three which is still very young. Any age is too young for something. Two is too young to start school. Thirteen is too young to call yourself an adult, start working full time and live on your own. Sixty is too young to die. With all these examples, why can’t most individuals drop the concept of connecting youth or a youthful spirit to age?

IMG_1442
Me, age 1.

Considering yourself “too old” for what you want (or anything, for that matter) can potentially hurt your manifestation abilities. If you observe it from society’s regular point of view, feeling too old for something can ruin your mood and prompt you to consider yourself unworthy instead of deserving of making your dreams come true.

IMG_0995
With a seeing eye dog, age 25.

An easy way to beat your fear is to say the following.

The older I get, the better I look. 

You will notice we used the phrase “older” here even though we said we wouldn’t give it importance – this is because using a fearful word in a positive context takes away its power to make you feel negative. We have taken the word “older” and turned it into something good. The choice of words when using affirmations is important but not in the way you think I’m about to define.

I live by this affirmation and use it once a day…and I would never want to go back to looking the way I did at twenty five, given the choice. It’s not that it wasn’t good but what I have now is even better. Don’t you want to love yourself more with each passing year and not less?

When using affirmations, use the words that make you feel good! If you do this, you will feel good saying and thinking about those affirmations, and this positive energy will produce the very thing that you desire.

What would your perfectly worded version of this affirmation be?

lifetime photos wallpaper
Me through several years and hairdos – ages 1, 27 and 29.

Allowing ourselves to find ourselves “too old” for the things we would truly love to have is a mistake. Seriously, what’s good about it? What would be the point? I have come to realize that a person’s sense of identity might be challenged or altered with age but there is a difference between being mature and feeling “old.” I can keep my youthful spirit while remaining a mature person with good values. I can remain positive while knowing that I should never stop trying new things in life, as they open my mind and allow me to keep getting to know myself. It doesn’t matter if I try something once or if it turns into my new favorite pastime – either way, it raises my vibration, making me realize who I am all over again while lightening my awareness and overall mood.

Profile
In Brussels, age 26.

You can’t stop feeling and therefore dressing attractive(ly) just because your chronological age has increased. Ageing does not excuse you to stop being, feeling and dressing attractive because this type of awareness is reserved for young people. It isn’t. There is age-appropriate sexy but dropping it altogether is another big mistake you want to avoid. You can’t stop feeling like a woman, a man, a beautiful or a sexually viable person simply because you are now forty, fifty or sixty instead of twenty three. This can’t happen because you will not be happy if you set aside highlighting (and enjoying) your physical beauty. If you did, you would damage your confidence and end up exactly where you don’t want to be – depending on the approval of others because you don’t love yourself enough. 

Don’t do this. It goes against the very principle of self-love, a love that is necessary to make Law of Attraction work.

I mean, we all know at least one example of this. There is a wonderful person in every single on of our lives that is smart, beautiful and worthy but all they do is talk about the level of attractiveness they’re lacking. They  never talk about how good they feel about the way they look but merely refer to themselves as “old” or “unappealing.” They are perpetually focused on everything that’s wrong with their looks.

I know someone who used to be like this and changed. They used to constantly complain about how they “don’t need to bother dressing up.” They used to call others desirable but spoke of themselves as if they were the opposite. They were convinced others didn’t like them due to reasons that were entirely self-imposed. One day, they realized that those who are attractive view themselves as such first. They realized that age does not matter when it comes to beauty. Since, they have been enjoying their beauty, happily spent time pampering themselves and as they had no one but themselves to blame for their formerly negative attitude, they suddenly turned it entirely positive.

I’ve also helped others change from this (and this isn’t me bragging – I’m a life coach). I have seen the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, the luckiest people look down on themselves because they had been focusing on the one thing they felt was missing from their life instead of focusing on what they had and let the Law of Attraction give them even more.

These are also the individuals who don’t understand the concept of “age appropriate.” This term doesn’t exist to make you feel older – it exists to help you look younger! If you wear the clothes appropriate for your figure and age, you will look younger, not older! Just because age-appropriate looks exist does not mean you’re being called “old.” These things exist to enhance your appearance in order to make you look younger!

If I were to wear a style appropriate for a ten year old at thirty three, I would definitely look even older; if I wore clothing appropriate to my age, I would actually look younger. This is an important factor many don’t understand but if you think about it, you’ll see what I mean. You can prolong the concept of age appropriate by manifesting younger looks but there is no shame in looking thirty when you’re forty five instead of absolutely having to look twenty because you think it’s what society respects. This is also why many stick to simplicity or different forms of a “classic” style – trends leave but the universally loved style works for and is adored by all ages. Classic is timeless and ageless. Some things work despite things like age and time, and this is shared by style lovers of any age.

We decide who we are and how attractive we are, and not society – they can only go by what we set for ourselves. Decide you are attractive and looking much younger, and you will attract others seeing you the same way. When it comes to you, your awareness and your life, you lead while others follow.

20180408_135755
Me in April, already 33.

I mean, does ageing really have to change you?