The effect we have on another person when living the kind of life that makes us happy every day is one of their attraction for us being ignited. Continue reading “Thought of the Day”
Unconditional love and acceptance, masked as not caring about what a person does or simply loving them for everything they are, allow us to manifest relationships rapidly. However, when forgiveness for the past or the present is involved, hurt feelings can get in the way of appreciating someone unconditionally.
It’s easy for us to accept the people we don’t care about or don’t perceive as important to our lives. On the other hand, those important to us are those we expect certain behaviors from and if our preferred behaviors are not immediately present, we can develop resentment or fear that our relationship is simply “not working out.”
The trick is to accept the person for who they are because then, we are able to imagine them treating us exactly the way we want to be treated. But if we don’t accept them to start, we won’t be able to imagine them being even better because we will continue to focus on their flaws and nothing else.
An dip into negative feelings can happen when we project our needs to the other person and expect them to fulfil those needs – in this case, we must ask ourselves if we are projecting onto them the needs we can only fulfil ourselves.
We don’t feel good when we are needy and this neediness often translates into wanting to receive more communication from the person. However, the way to achieve that is to imagine receiving this communication in the way that makes you feel good! You simply must give into good, positive feelings to make the Law of Attraction work – you want to imagine happily living your life with this person and being treated the way you want to be.
If you simply focus on them not doing what you want and not fulfilling your needs, you will lower your vibration and think permanently negatively of them as a result…and that will hurt your manifestation. Thinking poorly of someone translates into you seeing them not fulfilling your needs and not doing what you want, and your impression of the relationship growing in negativity.
Now is the time to ask yourself if you are asking your specific person to fulfil both sides of the equation – their own needs and your own? Because this doesn’t work. You have to do your part if you expect them to do theirs. Everything we give back, we receive in return.
When you love and accept a specific person unconditionally, they give the same to you.
On the other hand, when you are upset with a person’s behavior, they fail to give you the love and attention you desire and a relationship doesn’t manifest.
We must assume and visualize everything we wish to receive from a specific person while calling our negative thoughts false and paranoid. We simply must tell ourselves to think positive because only then can we assume the best of ourselves and everyone else.
We must only imagine the scenarios that make us the happiest.
Change the outcome by changing your attitude, awareness and behavior.
Change the outcome by engaging in self-love and putting yourself first.
Stop putting your desired partner before yourself, no matter how much you miss them – put yourself first at all times. And do so by knowing that your ideal relationship with them is a done deal.
Is there a person in your life or relationship that makes you feel inadequate or like you’re always coming second? And are your feelings continuously being made worse by your partner who seems to pay more attention to this person and their feelings than you in a variety of ways? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you probably feeling like there is a person in yours or your partner’s life you have to compete with.
This person could be your partner’s close friend, a nagging ex or even a family member – whoever they are, you feel queasy in their presence or from the very mention of their name. You might even feel that their feelings are more important to your partner than your own and you might be torn between wanting to fix the problem and even considering leaving the relationship.
Before you decide, there are several important points you need to consider.
First of all, it is important to know that no one is forcing you to compete with another person…ever. You choose whether or not to engage in competition, just like you choose everything else in your life.
Personally, competition is beneath me. If I feel like I am being forced to compete with another person, I simply walk away. If you don’t want to walk away immediately, having an open conversation with your partner or whoever it is that makes you compete is always a good idea and it might just solve the problem if you express your feelings openly, honestly and with confidence. Remember that you have the power to solve any problem in your life, either by compromising or leaving.
You have to start living your life from the awareness of being a person of value. Great value isn’t determined by what you have or have accomplished – it is determined by who you are. If you decide to connect with your confidence and stop accepting being treated poorly by another, you will naturally gravitate towards other confident people and positive situations.
You have to start having more fun in your own life, without the need for approval from anyone, your partner included. When you focus on making your own life fun, you will stop being upset by all those people whose behavior is simply not on your level. Making life fun for yourself will help you reconnect with your own confidence and maybe even lead you to new people and new experiences.
And instead of fearing the person you think you have to compete with, use some ingenious ways to get them on your team. If they have a particular skill set, ask them to do something for you. If they are the person who is constantly trying to make you compete, laugh off their attempts and refuse to let them upset you (or pretend that they don’t) as this particular approach will throw them off. Whatever you choose to do, do it with confidence.
Getting this person on your side might just be the inspired action that makes you feel good which will prompt LoA to bring even more positive change into your situation. When you do what makes you feel good instead of worrying about any particular situation, you begin to make better, lighter and more positive decisions which attract even more positive change as a result. This is how LoA works when you take a positive step in your current reality!
A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.
They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.
Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?
Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!
But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?
They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.
It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?
My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?
Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?
Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?
Do we give what we wish to receive?
Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.
Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.
We often forget that relationship focus and coaching exist beyond simply manifesting the relationship you want. Once it’s manifested, you must keep it, and you will do so by dealing with your deepest issues which every one of your relationship problems came from in the past. If you deal with those, Law of Attraction will draw even more love into your romance than you had before because resolving your issues results in feeling good about yourself, finally attracting your dreams as a result.
That is how the process goes.
An existing couple is no different – they might get over a fight but the same issues will keep causing new ones in the future unless they are resolved. It’s not about the fight itself but about what causes it, and unless that issue causing a fight is addressed, it will keep coming back in different forms.
Some prefer to believe that the cause of a single fight was their partner’s reaction to our words, their words or specific actions; however, the cause of a fight lies in one’s (or both parties’) issues that have existed long before they even met their partner. When a fight happens, we don’t react to something we don’t care about. We actually react because our partner’s words or actions reminded us of an unpleasant feeling we’ve been holding onto for a while before we met them. We then project their words onto those feelings and end up upset, disregarding the notion they never meant to upset us and were just expressing themselves while we took it the way we did.
Fights can take over a relationship and we shouldn’t let them. Actually facing and dealing with those issues leading to them by causing us to be upset at someone’s words are what we should actually be facing. We have to be honest with ourselves about those issues if we want them to disappear and stop making us miserable, and we can make LoA work for us by doing so.
Issues can be dealt with in two ways – by thinking positive about ourselves and everything in our lives which leads us to easily resolving them by realizing we have outgrown them, or by facing them and realizing why they don’t matter anymore. Either way, it is by devaluing them because negative thoughts can cause misery if we choose to give them meaning.
We are much better off knowing our true self is stronger than any negative thoughts we may be holding on to. What hurts you doesn’t deserve you, and it certainly doesn’t deserve your attention.
Think well of yourself and think about those you love and admire. Focus on the people whose company you adore, and imagine spending time with them. All these things will shift your focus to personal happiness which leads to confidence in yourself and seeing yourself having what you want.
I have always had a very specific trigger to negative feelings in a relationship. I value feeling special and seeing myself as such, and when a boyfriend makes me feel anything but, my taste for the relationship starts to wane. In a relationship, I always give what I wish to receive by expressing how much my partner means to me yet my patience for being with someone who doesn’t express himself well enough has left me over the years. I want someone who dares to say what he means, has the courage to dive into love, be romantic and show me how much I mean to him.
In the past, I would summon enough love to see beyond hearing what I didn’t like but today, I want someone who sees and realizes that I want to be put first, because I put my partner first. Those who have no interest in doing this can move along.
Sometimes, it is easier for us to say that we “feel like this is happening, that’s how it’s gonna play out” and let the Law of Attraction work – this particular mindset can be an easy way out when it comes to manifesting relationships, as we sometimes feel more natural thinking that the outcome is our of our control. However, even when we “can feel the relationship will go this way,” we are choosing this outcome for our lives!
Every “feeling” you think may have come from somewhere else was also your choice to acknowledge and embrace, and with that, give meaning to and decide that it was to be the outcome of your manifestation; now, since you know that, choose the outcome you want and decide that that one was meant to be!
We choose the outcome of every situation, even when we don’t think we do.
And at times, I focused on what I didn’t like to the extend that I had to decide if whether I wanted to stay or leave the relationship.
If the situation doesn’t suit you and you don’t want to fix it, walk away. Time is much better spent thinking about having what you want than disliking what you have. Some issues in a relationship we don’t care to fix.
If you want to fix your own issues on the other hand, preventing them from interfering with your future relationship with the right person, face them and realize that they’re probably outdated. Chances are you already spent a sufficient amount of time dealing with them and it is time to put them behind you – this very notion is often enough to stop thinking about a problem.
If you want closure, visualizing a positive scenario in which your issue has been resolved. Visualize injustice corrected and a chance to tell someone what you wish to tell them. Imagine this playing out in your perfect but positive scenario because visualizing it in a negative and upset way will not make it go away.
Then, you will automatically put it behind you for good.
I suggest you celebrate yourself and your life.
You have to play the lead role in your own reality instead of putting the person you want to manifest a relationship with first. You can prioritize them but imagine the relationship and your love as you want it and as it makes you happy!
I mean, being able to love someone the way you want to and have them love you back…don’t you love the thought of that?
Don’t you want that?
Over the past months, I have been hearing about social media causing annoyance in relationships and their manifestations; at the same time, many are aware of its lack of meaning and relevance while others have been irritated by it in the past only to come to realize its lack of actual power in the present.
What happens when you think your manifestation might arrive at a specific moment yet it doesn’t? You might have gotten signs or feedback that lead you to believe it was happening only to discover that it wasn’t what you hoped for, at least not just yet. Continue reading “When You “Fail” to Manifest – A Guide to Starting Over!”