Dealing With Another Person’s Criticism of Your Appearance

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I recently changed my hair color. Many of my close ones liked it, loved it or commented of how striking it was…except one person.

One of the closest people to me told me my new hair color was “too dark” for me several times. Their opinion didn’t change my perception but I didn’t like hearing it either.

Then, I realized that it wasn’t the words I heard that lowered my vibration – every time this person commented on my hair, I was already on a moderately lower vibration than usual. I’d been tired or momentarily annoyed about something and right then, this person commented on my hair without me having asked.

So I got back on a high vibration. I pampered myself, chose positive thoughts, had nothing but positive expectations and nurtured my appearance. I started manifesting many things every day again and soon enough, I began receiving compliments for my hair from most individuals I would come across.

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I already loved my hair when looking in the mirror and then, everyone else told me how much they loved it, too. And the best thing was that I had partially raised my own vibration by looking in the mirror and loving what I saw, regardless of the disapproval from a person close to me.

I hadn’t questioned my love for my dark hair but this person commented on it being “too dark” in the moments my vibration was low due to other, unrelated momentary irritations.

It only matters what you truly like – not anybody else.

I wish I could tell you I had come to some new revelations as a result of this but I am simply going to continue to preach what I always do. It only matters that you always keep yourself on a high vibration for yourself, do what you like and expect to receive what you like/expect that everything you want is yours already. No one else’s opinion matters and it won’t make you happy unless you like yourself. You have to think about who you want to be and what will make you happy to have.

Criticism from others doesn’t come from them even when you feel like it does – it comes from you already feeling not so great about yourself. It comes from perceiving your own lack of value while being on a low vibration. When you engage in annoying thoughts about anything, you don’t believe the best of yourself and then, others don’t either.

When you’re annoyed about anything, you acknowledge that life isn’t what you want and your vibration continues to lower; however, when negative thoughts come and you pick yourself up by remembering how valuable you are and that what you want is yours already, you remember that you deserve and already possess everything you’ve set your heart on.

Confidence and self-love are even more important than you think, even when you perceive them as the most important aspects of life. There is no limit to their importance to our happiness.

You must put in the necessary work and discover what you truly desire. If someone’s words or behavior upsets you, this is a sign of being unhappy with yourself and until this part of you is resolved – not by receiving approval from others but by you – you will be preventing yourself from manifesting your dreams.

Switch to being a positive person from now on and watch everything you want come together soon.

If You Think Law of Attraction is Fiction…

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I used to write poetry and fiction, became a published author in my preteens and eventually, decided that I preferred writing about real life. Fiction can never be as powerful as real life, no matter how much it is based on it.

Some people have asked me whether Law of Attraction was fiction or not. Some perceive visualization and the concept of living as if to be fiction for as long as it is different from “real life.” However, current reality and visualization of an ideal one are equally real, as one’s ideal reality must be seen as real in order to manifest into the current.

If you perceive visualization and living as if as fiction, how can you ever allow it to become your current reality?

You can’t. You have to believe in the possibility of your ideal reality becoming your life in order to allow it to happen.

Believing in living your ideal reality is not as scary as you think. I know it’s easy to hesitate to imagine living your ideal life for several reasons – fear of loss, fear of success, breaking out of your comfort zone… Yes, these things sound scary but as soon as you try, fear begins to fade. If you did it just a few times, it would go away completely.

Continue reading

Self-Love Equals Smooth Manifestation

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For days, I’ve been thinking about the single most important part of effortless manifestation. Most of us wanted to know the answer to successfully avoiding negative thoughts and stopping ourselves from engaging in doubt yet we didn’t find it until we started to feel unconditionally good about ourselves.

They don’t tell us that love is the key to LoA for nothing. Some might wonder why love is such a boost and why self-love in particular means so much in this process but when you think about it, you end up realizing that self-love leads to positivity and positivity leads to relaxation, trust and letting go. A relaxed mind boosted by loving emotions leads to attracting one’s desired life without effort.

You might wonder why exactly the core of your personality makes such a difference. Continue reading

Manifestation Epidemic – Not Believing in Yourself

It truly is as simple as I’ve just written it.

One of the biggest manifestation problems is a lack of confidence in one’s inner power. All of us are capable of attracting anything we want yet we attract what we believe we can have even if that belief lasts only a few seconds per thought.

The trick is to believe in one’s ability to manifest one’s true desires.

If you could have anything, absolutely anything, in your life today, what would it be?

Now, believe that you can have this. Believe it’s yours already and is coming together right now. Believe that it’s about to manifest – any day now!

Many simply refuse to nurture this way of thinking. Instead, they think about which LoA technique to use in order to manifest their desired reality. They worry about the goings on in their current reality (or a lack thereof). All these thoughts simply reinforce the uncertainty in one’s ability to manifest one’s desires.

If you are unsure that you’re “doing it right,” you are noticing your desire missing from your life and seem to be unsure that you can manifest it.

If you’re worried that you might manifest the undesired instead, that is just another way of saying you don’t believe in your ability to manifest your desires.

Why do you do this to yourself? More importantly, why don’t you believe in yourself?

See yourself having what you want! Trust that it’s yours and you will never again doubt your abilities. However, you must believe before seeing and know that it’s yours already. You can only manifest what you believe you can have.

Every time the thoughts of your current reality come to you, switch them to the thoughts of having and being grateful for living the life of your dreams!

Have You Earned a Great Relationship?

This post first appeared on my (first) blog, https://improvingconfidence.wordpress.com/

I continuously encounter individuals who believe a great relationship is something they are entitled to.

A great relationship is something everyone deserves, just like any other blessing in life. Everyone deserves to experience happiness but those that receive it have in fact earned it with their positive mindsets, respect for others and gratitude for their lives.

Everyone deserves it but a positive individual earns it, allowing a happy relationship to come into their reality.

On the other hand, those projecting negative energy (be it frustration, desperation, negative self-image, impatience, rudeness or general dissatisfaction) are continuously preventing what they deserve, a great relationship in this case, to appear in their lives.

You get what you give; genuine appreciation for life, your own and those of others, ensures you will receive an abundance of goodness in return. You merely need to find that appreciation.

The idea of an amazing relationship being earned holds truth but requires explanation; stating this idea as simply as it looks in writing may evoke negative reactions instead of positive. One becomes worthy of a great relationship by viewing oneself in a positive light, focusing on everything they enjoy in life, respecting one’s unique qualities as well as the qualities of others and having personal integrity that ensures standing by one’s personal beliefs.

Many believe they must earn a great relationship by fulfilling requirements such as career success, a larger-than-life personality, financial wealth or being classically good looking. However, basic creation principles state that one’s beliefs create one’s awareness; for example, individuals who deeply believe they cannot earn a great relationship until they have a great job will encounter specific experiences reflecting those beliefs.

Truth is, the relationship you desire has nothing to do with your social status unless you decide to believe it. Those who stick to beliefs such as “Once I get a good job, I will have inner peace and be ready for a relationship” will most likely find that the job, the relationship and the inner peace continue to elude them. Postponing those experiences by masking them as future goals will ensure they remain distant goals, making it impossible to catch up to that “perfect future.”

Now, I am not saying your desires are irrelevant but for as long as you think “I’ll be confident once I have this,” you are creating a future goal that will always remain in the future. In reality, you must feel deserving of your goals now and be confident in yourself before you can obtain them.

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Contrary to popular belief, relationships have nothing to do with your social status, level of wealth, professional success or your looks. When it comes to relationships, you merely need to be confident in the person you are. You need to draw your confidence from internal factors instead of external. You need to recognize your personal qualities, the beauty of your physical traits, your intelligence and gratitude for everything you have in life.

One of the best ways to earn a great relationship rests in developing self-confidence, self-comfort and self-acceptance.

Amplifying those character traits with a positive mindset will allow you to focus on everything you love in life instead of everything you are currently missing. If you focus on your positive traits, you will effortlessly focus on your (potential) partner’s positive traits, enjoying your relationship immensely and solving problems in it easily. Suddenly, you will come to realize relationships were intended to be easy and enjoyable instead of being a constant ego battle between opposing sides. If you have an eye on a potential partner, you will be encouraged to communicate with them as you have recognized your own qualities while appreciating them for theirs. You will realize how much there is to be liked about you!

If you believe your looks are insufficient to evoke attraction in another, you will project an unhappy demeanor, tension and insecurity. The best part is, you can decide to focus on the aspects of your appearance you like instead. You can appreciate your beauty instead of focusing on the reasons it is less than perfect. This positive energy will evoke even more of the same, allowing you to feel increasingly great about yourself.

Ultimately, is there a real reason you should feel negatively about your appearance? Everyone holds a different idea of what beauty means. More importantly, we all respond to each other’s energy much stronger than any physical attributes – every time you were attracted someone who wasn’t your “type” proves that.

Do you compare yourself to others? This is another mistake which can prevent you from receiving life’s goods. Do you believe you must match an ideal another specific person represents to you while considering anything “less” to be insufficient? This mindset only states your lack of appreciation for yourself, as you feel undeserving of love. Even if you think your (potential) partner only wants the ideal you have imagined him/her wanting, it doesn’t mean you’re right.

We all know the story – one perceives their desired partner to be “too good for me.” “He/She is out of my league,” they imagine, never making a move or deeming themselves worthy. This thought process is perpetuated until the object of their affection meets someone else.

There are plenty of similar examples. However, it all comes down to the following.

Searching for the reasons to postpone living a happy relationship only shows that you doubt your own value. If recognizing the said value undoubtedly ensures finding a great relationship, what is the point of feeling inadequate?

Manifestation Epidemic – Attractiveness and Stability Lost

Anyone can be just as attractive as someone else. Like anything, this type of awareness comes from your inner world instead of your physical attributes.

When impatient to manifest a desire as soon as possible, many forget that feeling good about themselves is essential to their success. Whether it’s self confidence, self comfort, self love or simply feeling that they have everything they need, the others who succeed do so because they feel good (about themselves, whether or not they realize it).

Do you spend much time trying to be someone you’re not, measure up to someone else or feel that you need to “improve?”

Think of someone you consider attractive. Then, think about why you find them attractive. You know it’s more than just their looks. What do you like about the energy this person projects? Do they possess any attributes you admire? It’s all about the way one feels! 

You are only as attractive as you feel and you can understand that you will only be as attractive as you allow yourself to feel. If you dare to feel as attractive as someone you admire, to use the most simplified example, you would understand why it comes from within even though it may seem otherwise.

This entire field of manifestation epidemic can be resolved with self love, just like anything else. At the same time, an insight into why people think the way they do might help you accept and understand why you can feel good.

Attractiveness and Stability

Being able to wait for your desire patiently is a sign of personal stability.

Personal stability can be achieved with love. If you feel a great deal of love for your desire (and, yourself), you can get there fast. If you keep looking for it, you are definitely not ready to live it. How could you be? You don’t believe it’s yours! Self love can help you with this – a practice I always recommend, self love leads to inner peace, emotional stability and everything else that makes you feel good.

When it comes to relationships, stability is a quality that adds to your attractiveness. We are all attracted to people who don’t seem to need anything but are happy in the life they created, with everything they have, all of which adds to their stability. If you are unhappy with what you have, it is difficult to feel attractive and deserving. See what I mean?

You are not trying to achieve stability for the sake of your desire – you want to achieve it for yourself first, for your own happiness. Stability equals happiness. If you don’t believe me, look back on any time you were happy with your life without feeling the need for anything else. Those were the times you were steady in every way and simply happy. Those were the times you looked ahead with hope and positive expectations instead of fear and worry.

Stability can also be achieved with patience (or, it can lead to patience). Stability and patience go hand in hand. When you feel happy and calm, knowing you’re going to get what you want, you feel good which in turn makes you even more attractive.

Sometimes, stability means avoiding mistakes. Other times, it means admitting to them. To me, stability also means honesty which is why I practice it in my case.

You probably look at some people and think that they’re more attractive than you. Don’t feel unattractive – it’s not worth it, especially when knowing it all comes from within. If you want, use those people as inspiration, not negative self classification, but always be and remain yourself.

Do You Think About Living Your Greatest Desires?

Knowing your desire is manifesting is the key to your success. When you know, you are guided by it or at least I am which means you can be, too.

To those of you who like to think about your desire a lot, remember that I told you you could as long as those thoughts are happy and reflect living the life of your dreams? Well, I’ve manifested that way, too. This is a perfectly valid manifestation method but only if you are happy and you nurture the thoughts of living your desire.

If you love to drown in the thoughts of your desire, you want those thoughts to be happy, positive, fulfilling, filled with love and as confident as your energy.

When manifesting love, I imagine it as the most magical thing. I dare to get excited about it and I imagine finding all the magic I want in real life while I am living my relationship. I imagine needing nothing but happiness about being together and loving each other while nothing else matters. If you accept someone, accepting their entire life is the best choice you can make and all I care about is having an amazing time just being together.

When manifesting professional opportunities, I love being the person others love to work with because she delivers even greater results than imagined. I don’t necessarily focus on easily getting along with everyone I work with, as I accept a difference in opinions and admittedly, workplace relationships have had only limited importance to me. It isn’t that I want to be difficult but I live in the awareness of having immense patience for the people I want to work with but wanting to walk away from those I don’t; that type of awareness serves as a reminder to level the bumps in collaboration and be patient when knowing that a particular collaboration is ultimately beneficial. For all these reasons, I focus on the end result when manifesting professional accomplishments.

I have additional examples but I chose these two to compare and contrast.

If you reread the passages written above, you will see that the nature of all these thoughts is one of having my desire in my life. You can do the same.

If you practice seeing yourself living your desire, you will soon begin to gravitate towards those thoughts.

We cannot skip letting go. Remember that letting go is knowing your desire will manifest and living your life happily in the present moment. You don’t have to forget about your desire in order to let go but if you continue to nurture the thoughts of having it in your life, letting go will be easier because you will fill your heart with knowing and remove the need. Sometimes, visualizing once is enough to let go but if you like to think about having your desire, think about it. You will have gotten used to the idea of having it, remove the need for it to manifest in your life and then, it will appear.

Where Does Intuition Come In?

Lately, I received many questions about intuition (and after recognizing this pattern, even more questions by default – LoA, right?) so I decided to think about how and when I recognize it in my own life or observe it in the lives of others.

Those who talk about and attempt to recognize intuition do so to find answers or the right path to their desired manifestation; these individuals want to know they’re doing well and make the right moves towards manifesting their desire.

When a reader suggested I write this post, I started to think about what intuition meant and which exact parts of it I focus on. I hadn’t written a post dealing with intuition exclusively in over a year. Intuition exists and tells us many things but what have I been listening to? How do I respond to intuition?

The Difference of Thoughts

You must distinguish intuition from your negative thoughts and resistance – this, I believe, is key.

However,

Some attempt to connect to their intuition in the moments of impatience which is when connecting to one’s intuition is difficult as impatience is an unnatural and an uncomfortable state of mind. In this state, even more resistance is created.

The rush to find the answers leads to an even bigger need to rush, as rush in itself is the need to escape the present and move into the future but in order to manifest, you must believe your desire belongs to you already. If you do, there is no rushing it because it’s already here, right?

My intuition is most useful to me when letting me know whether a specific desire could truly make me happy. This is when I rely on it the most. When my intuition indicates that I know I want something, it’s mine. There’s no question about it.

If you put your intuition to work in this way, you would benefit from it greatly.

I rarely ever think about how any desire might manifest because I truly don’t care. No one should. If my intuition is meant to tell me that in any way, it tells me in moments.

Knowing you are powerful and that your desire is going to manifest in the most amazing way is enough. This idea is always reflected in our thought patterns.

It makes me feel good to know that my desire belongs to me already. I should have it because I use it to create even more happiness in the world and for everyone involved. Then, my intuition might tell me how my desire might manifest, what to do and what not to do but I will receive those answers in moments of relaxation and gratitude.

The opposite of intuition is some sort of fear. If you know that your desire is one thing but you trying to manifest it in a specific way is another entirely, pushing for that “way” of bringing it to life is making you feel rotten. That is how you distinguish between those two things – how is a specific thought making you feel?

Being relaxed and comfortable with yourself leads to being relaxed and comfortable with your desire and in that state, you will connect to your intuition greatly. You will stop trying to rush yourself and stop feeling bad about yourself, both of which block connecting with your intuition.

I believe many experience frustration with their intuition due to the failure to connect with it. They want the answers but cannot find them, feeling empty and in need of guidance. However, impatience must first be removed for intuition to be free to speak.

Don’t obsess about the details around your desire or your intuition speaking to you and when – life is easier when you have fewer details to worry about.

To recap,

  1. Your intuition will speak to you after you relax! Only after relaxing when it comes to thinking about your desire will your intuition guide you. A tense body and mind won’t lead you to answer but to even more resistance instead. Relaxing is key, especially when thinking about living your specific desire.
  2. Your intuition will tell you when and what to do if you let it. Sometimes, your intuition will just tell you that your desire belongs to you and that’ll be enough. Even if you know what to do and what not to do at any given moment, stay open to all options – your intuition will inform you if the path to your manifestation is about to be cut short at any moment by taking action different than what you had expected (or, it may tell you to just stay relaxed). You may feel the nudge to do an inexplicable thing in a moment which will lead to your desire or the next step towards it. Even if your desire will unfold before you without you having to make any palpable moves, stay open and stay confident.
  3. You know why you want to take specific action. Just look at the reasons for wanting to take specific action – is it because you feel that you have your desire already or because you feel that you don’t and want to bring it to life as soon as possible? One comes from intuition and the other from fear. Avoid any fear-driven action because that is not your intuition speaking! That is you trying to convince yourself that if you only made this one move, you could manifest your desire; however, that very need comes from the awareness of not having your desire already.
  4. Your intuition is most valuable to you and you are the one living your desires. Intuition is yet another reason why your desires and LoA are about you and not what you’re trying to manifest. Your intuition exists to speak to you about what would make you happy.

My post on intuition vs. paranoid thoughts is right here for additional examples.