WHAT TO DO IN THE FACE OF AN UNDESIRABLE WORK OPPORTUNITY

As most of you know, I travel to, stay in and work from different countries but in the recent years, I have set up camp in my birthplace to which I return after each trip. Just like in various others, I have taken jobs in Zagreb, Croatia that were all speaking, workshop giving and seminar teaching engagements.

I recently wanted to manifest another collaboration opportunity here. Let us begin.

As I have said before, the first opportunity won’t always be the one when manifesting a specific goal. If you’re manifesting a job, your first interview or offer might not be what you want and it is up to you to stay positive and keep going. If you’re manifesting your ideal appearance, maybe it’ll come together one step at a time instead of all at once. If you’re manifesting your soul mate, it might not be the first person you go on a date with (but it also might!).

And as I was reminded, the first opportunity you stumble upon might be a complete opposite of what you want in a work engagement.

Since the field of education in this city is an efficient network and I taught university seminars for students and professors for two years, I was referred to another private school for a similar opportunity. They were looking for someone to give a lecture or a workshop in CV writing and interview skills, and I was given an email address for the person in charge. I wanted to be offered lecture dates with satisfying compensation I am used to receiving so I sent an email detailing my work experience and professional goals.

Twelve hours later, I received a reply. The person in charge of booking the lectures outlined exact demands my work experience was perfect for. We both agreed that the needs of this school were exactly what I offered but their email was concluded with the following lines.

“I must tell you though that our school does not offer compensation for these lectures. 🙂 ”

Yes. They put a smiley face at the end of that sentence.

“So, what do you think? Kind regards!”

I was baffled.

A private school in which students pay tuition on a regular basis wanted to hire a lecturer willing to work for free. What did I think? In the following email, this individual proved to be made aware of the unappealing terms but at the same time, those terms were not up to them.

After a few seconds of laughter, I realized I wasn’t even all that surprised. Local organizations offering fair compensation and looking for exceptional candidates are well aware of ones like this damaging the reputation of everyone in the field. One of the people that referred me to this position was borderline outraged, having been unaware of these terms.

I declined the offer with the following statement.

“Thank you for your email but given the terms, I will have to pass on this opportunity.”

Not to mention that the word “opportunity” evoked sarcasm in my mind.

Unless it’s valuable volunteer work, a private university that values their collaborative force so little is of no interest to me. To be fair, they didn’t reach out to me – I reached out to them after being referred to them. I thought they might be my next collaboration opportunity, a desire not specific to a country, city or school, but maybe this means I should get more specific in my goal and I will reach it faster.

Looking at it from the point of view of both the Law of Attraction and peculiar business practices, I find it very interesting that a private university whose staff routinely complains about a lack of quality in the skills of their student body isn’t willing to invest in someone who would improve those skills. And what are those students paying tuition for, if they are not getting the skills they need by the very admission of their own university?

I wanted to point some of these things out because quality of education and fair compensation are highly important topics in today’s world, as they have been at any point in history. But in the spirit of why we’re here on this blog, we could argue their Law of Attraction skills or we could argue mine. They give nothing and then complain about having developed nothing in their students. I will keep going and soon receive everything I asked for, just like I always do.

You get what you give – LoA tells us that every day. Last university I worked with in this city gave me one of the most valuable experiences of my life and having had such experiences, I wasn’t going to let this one take advantage of me. Unless you value yourself, how can others see your worth? What you accept for yourself sends others a message of the kind of treatment you deserve.

I am having new ideas on collaboration manifestations as we speak.

My Journal – An Insight into Negative Thoughts and Physical Discomfort

2:14 p.m.

I went out for a friend’s birthday last night. It was great until about 3:30 a.m. when the quality of music dropped. I became desperate to go home and this morning, I woke up with a headache. I feel like I must have attracted it due to complaining, even just to myself; on the other hand, it could have been due to slight exhaustion from staying up for twenty four hours, swimming for four in the morning and then dancing for another four in the middle of the night. Either way, I need a painkiller, as my second coffee alone isn’t helping right now.

When you live seeking out your personal joys, you also begin to desire a healthy amount of quiet, recovery days, which feel even better than you can imagine.

Living with the purpose of enjoying ourselves and also enjoying some quiet time prevents you from having enough energy to ever engage in overthinking or even negative thoughts, benefiting your well being and directing your focus to seeking out even more joys in the days to come. And today, all I wanted was some quiet time. I wanted to not think about anything besides some work, some food and some TV. I needed to unwind.

5:35 p.m.

As it tends to happen, physical pain can cause negative thoughts just like any other physical sensation does. I felt so bad physically that I started to have odd thoughts; however, I soon realized that it wasn’t any serious fear acting as a cause of these thoughts. I was just hungry and a body running on empty affects one’s mind accordingly.

This has happened before and I would always divert from negative thoughts…if I wanted to leave the situation badly enough. When I was hospitalized for appendicitis surgery, I summoned the motivation to start feeling better and be released. When I hated my second high school (our of three, in three different countries), I summoned all the motivation I need to manifest moving away with my family once again. But I didn’t want to leave my bed today which made it difficult to manifest a change in circumstances. So I just decided to manifest a headache away and magically found a painkiller even though I was convinced there were none left in the house. But the Universe always provides. I still have no idea where it came from.

7 p.m.

After the painkiller kicked in, I could feel my body relaxing and was sure my confusing thoughts were about to disappear. I wanted to sleep but also work at the same time. Then, one of my best friends called me which made me very happy. I needed something wonderful to do and I had found it. I knew that if I distracted myself, my negative thoughts would pass, even though they made no sense to me at all. I believed my brain was just tired.

And then…

Negative thoughts passed as soon as I took something meaningful from them. Suddenly, I got to know certain answers and believe it was the Universe’s way of helping me relax even more. The Universe had sent me a message that said, “Don’t even react. None of our negative thoughts ever make sense!” I knew it but then remembered that over the past week, I had been working on a new theory of removing them, all for the purpose of a new book I’ve been working on. Now, I was given a chance to test my own theory by observing the thoughts that came from physical discomfort, and I have gained new insight into dealing with them. I have been asked about this by several readers and clients, and have always looked for new ways of removing those thoughts that bother so many because it is my goal to make lives easier.

Let’s face it – most of our negative thoughts are self-imposed and not at all connected to the people or situations we assign them to. If you simply let them pass, no matter how weird and uncomfortable they feel, or remind yourself they are meaningless and irrelevant, you will come to a point where they feel so ridiculous that you won’t even understand where they came from in the first place.

Law of Attraction advice isn’t just about getting what you want – it is also about relaxing yourself so that you could imagine having what you want which is the necessary first step. Much of the Law of Attraction advice can be explained in elaborate stages but it always comes down to the simplest concepts – feel the positive, ignore the negative, believe in what you want before you see the proof of it and don’t be afraid. Maybe it is the reminder of those concepts that holds the biggest Law of Attraction lessons, as the point is to remind yourself of what you already learned in order to create new, positive habits.

9:21 p.m.

Negative thoughts seem even more distant now that I’ve just let them flow and had said to myself they were entirely self-imposed. I can look at their triggers and say, no. I have witnessed enough paranoia to make me realize that we don’t put ourselves into another person’s intentions by thinking negative thoughts about them but do so by thinking positive. We choose to engage in negative thoughts and perceptions about certain situations because of what we think, not because of the nature of that situation. We must stop perceiving our negative thoughts as some kind of threat – they’re simply here to tell us what not to think.

The less we think about how to remove any negative thoughts and the more we ignore them, the sooner they will go away. I could explain it in as many ways as you can imagine but it all comes down to this same idea. You might wonder how exactly you should distract yourself and the answer is, either by ignoring or persistence. Do something you enjoy until you forget about those thoughts you’ve been having, ask yourself why you have them for the purpose of realizing they only come from you or simply choose to think about something else. Just don’t think about “what they mean” or you’ll end up assigning meaning to them, scaring yourself in the process.

In short, if I only have negative thoughts when I’m tired, hungry and suffering a headache, they are completely self-imposed, not to mention circumstantial. Observe your own negative thoughts – do you recognize the same patterns?

11:24 p.m.

Still happy, over my headache and ready for bed. Good night!

How to Use the Law of Attraction to Stop Growing Older

There is an idea I continuously struggle with – why does ageing, the most normal concept in the world, absolutely must mean “growing older” by default? And I wouldn’t have a problem with this if, according to society, it didn’t automatically mean having to drop everything they loved about themselves or life because beauty, self love and joy are usually only associated with those aged twenty five or less (or older but rich and famous, worst case).

But should you really listen to society? Law of Attraction says that the way you see yourself is the way others will see you, and that you will attract people who agree with your positive awareness into your life and see you exactly as you see yourself.

You don’t have to see yourself as old just because you’re older than twenty five. You don’t have to perceive yourself as “older” with every passing year. You are simply moving forward chronologically but do not force yourself to become “older” as a result, especially not by engaging in negative thoughts about yourself due to age.

You only grow older if you feel older but the simple concept of ageing does not mean you have to lose your youthful spirit.

And I’m not going to lie to you, I have a hard time standing people who use their age as an excuse to stop trying and start feeling entitled in life. They are not attractive. They are undervaluing and underselling themselves every day for no good reason, yet they deserve as much love and happiness as any other (young) person or any person they admire and look up to.

Why is “young” only limited to your mean twenties and below? I’m thirty three which is still very young. Any age is too young for something. Two is too young to start school. Thirteen is too young to call yourself an adult, start working full time and live on your own. Sixty is too young to die. With all these examples, why can’t most individuals drop the concept of connecting youth or a youthful spirit to age?

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Me, age 1.

Considering yourself “too old” for what you want (or anything, for that matter) can potentially hurt your manifestation abilities. If you observe it from society’s regular point of view, feeling too old for something can ruin your mood and prompt you to consider yourself unworthy instead of deserving of making your dreams come true.

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With a seeing eye dog, age 25.

An easy way to beat your fear is to say the following.

The older I get, the better I look. 

You will notice we used the phrase “older” here even though we said we wouldn’t give it importance – this is because using a fearful word in a positive context takes away its power to make you feel negative. We have taken the word “older” and turned it into something good. The choice of words when using affirmations is important but not in the way you think I’m about to define.

I live by this affirmation and use it once a day…and I would never want to go back to looking the way I did at twenty five, given the choice. It’s not that it wasn’t good but what I have now is even better. Don’t you want to love yourself more with each passing year and not less?

When using affirmations, use the words that make you feel good! If you do this, you will feel good saying and thinking about those affirmations, and this positive energy will produce the very thing that you desire.

What would your perfectly worded version of this affirmation be?

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Me through several years and hairdos – ages 1, 27 and 29.

Allowing ourselves to find ourselves “too old” for the things we would truly love to have is a mistake. Seriously, what’s good about it? What would be the point? I have come to realize that a person’s sense of identity might be challenged or altered with age but there is a difference between being mature and feeling “old.” I can keep my youthful spirit while remaining a mature person with good values. I can remain positive while knowing that I should never stop trying new things in life, as they open my mind and allow me to keep getting to know myself. It doesn’t matter if I try something once or if it turns into my new favorite pastime – either way, it raises my vibration, making me realize who I am all over again while lightening my awareness and overall mood.

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In Brussels, age 26.

You can’t stop feeling and therefore dressing attractive(ly) just because your chronological age has increased. Ageing does not excuse you to stop being, feeling and dressing attractive because this type of awareness is reserved for young people. It isn’t. There is age-appropriate sexy but dropping it altogether is another big mistake you want to avoid. You can’t stop feeling like a woman, a man, a beautiful or a sexually viable person simply because you are now forty, fifty or sixty instead of twenty three. This can’t happen because you will not be happy if you set aside highlighting (and enjoying) your physical beauty. If you did, you would damage your confidence and end up exactly where you don’t want to be – depending on the approval of others because you don’t love yourself enough. 

Don’t do this. It goes against the very principle of self-love, a love that is necessary to make Law of Attraction work.

I mean, we all know at least one example of this. There is a wonderful person in every single on of our lives that is smart, beautiful and worthy but all they do is talk about the level of attractiveness they’re lacking. They  never talk about how good they feel about the way they look but merely refer to themselves as “old” or “unappealing.” They are perpetually focused on everything that’s wrong with their looks.

I know someone who used to be like this and changed. They used to constantly complain about how they “don’t need to bother dressing up.” They used to call others desirable but spoke of themselves as if they were the opposite. They were convinced others didn’t like them due to reasons that were entirely self-imposed. One day, they realized that those who are attractive view themselves as such first. They realized that age does not matter when it comes to beauty. Since, they have been enjoying their beauty, happily spent time pampering themselves and as they had no one but themselves to blame for their formerly negative attitude, they suddenly turned it entirely positive.

I’ve also helped others change from this (and this isn’t me bragging – I’m a life coach). I have seen the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, the luckiest people look down on themselves because they had been focusing on the one thing they felt was missing from their life instead of focusing on what they had and let the Law of Attraction give them even more.

These are also the individuals who don’t understand the concept of “age appropriate.” This term doesn’t exist to make you feel older – it exists to help you look younger! If you wear the clothes appropriate for your figure and age, you will look younger, not older! Just because age-appropriate looks exist does not mean you’re being called “old.” These things exist to enhance your appearance in order to make you look younger!

If I were to wear a style appropriate for a ten year old at thirty three, I would definitely look even older; if I wore clothing appropriate to my age, I would actually look younger. This is an important factor many don’t understand but if you think about it, you’ll see what I mean. You can prolong the concept of age appropriate by manifesting younger looks but there is no shame in looking thirty when you’re forty five instead of absolutely having to look twenty because you think it’s what society respects. This is also why many stick to simplicity or different forms of a “classic” style – trends leave but the universally loved style works for and is adored by all ages. Classic is timeless and ageless. Some things work despite things like age and time, and this is shared by style lovers of any age.

We decide who we are and how attractive we are, and not society – they can only go by what we set for ourselves. Decide you are attractive and looking much younger, and you will attract others seeing you the same way. When it comes to you, your awareness and your life, you lead while others follow.

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Me in April, already 33.

I mean, does ageing really have to change you?

Manifestation Epidemic – Wanting to “Do” When You Should Be Letting Go

Knowing your desire is yours but not seeing it in your current reality just yet can be frustrating. At this stage of manifestation, you might be wondering what you’re supposed to be doing or simply how to distract yourself when the thought of having your desire makes you so excited that it is all you can possibly think about.

At this stage, you might be tempted to start “doing” something to make your desire manifest faster but please refrain – in this exact moment, you should simply distract yourself by doing other things, especially enjoying the things you have time for now but won’t as much once you have manifested your desire.

Every change of circumstances changes a life. With every new chapter, we have a little less time for some aspects of the previous. There are things you could be enjoying right now that you won’t have as much time or energy for once your desire is manifested so focus on them instead. In turn, they will allow you to let go of your desire entirely only to see it appear in your current reality faster than you think!

This change of focus is more beneficial than you might currently realize.

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Your Awareness Comes First and Your Thoughts Second – A Guide to Uncovering Your Happy Self

Do you have a problem feeling good about yourself no matter what you have or, don’t?

Is this you?

  • When you think thoughts of having your desire, you always end up back in the same old negative place after a little while.
  • Your fears keep coming back even when the current reality starts to turn into everything you have asked for.
  • You always assume that things will go wrong at some point.
  • No matter what you do or how much you manifest, you just don’t feel “right.”

There is a difference between feeling good about having your desire and feeling good about yourself.

If you don’t feel good about you, you run the risk of manifesting your desire but not keeping it in your life. Feeling poorly about yourself can prevent you from seeing yourself living your desire permanently, even if you can see yourself receiving it initially.

Let’s face it – self work is the part many attempt to skip, pushing themselves to believe their desire belongs to them instead of repeating affirmations about themselves in addition to their desire.

And why is that part important?

You are supposed to feel good about both yourself and your desire. If you don’t feel good about yourself without your desire, you won’t even after it manifests. This is the biggest reason your desire cannot fix your life or your awareness – only you can do that!

Many also attempt to skip over the self-work part due to the impatience to manifest their desire as soon as possible. However, they continue to feel poorly, blaming the lack of their desire for this state of mind when in reality, the state of mind itself is the problem.

Your decisions about your life come first. Your awareness comes first and your thoughts second. This is why you can face your negative thoughts and say, “No! I asked for what I want and that is what I must receive.”

You must start to rely on your conscious decisions and insist on them instead of your uninvited negative thoughts. This is the reason why you can say, “I asked for my desire and that is what I must receive.”

You can ignore those negative thoughts because only you consciously decide who you are and how you live your life. You decide what makes you happy. By ignoring these thoughts and saying yes to your conscious decisions and nothing else (or, less), you are respecting yourself. You are only accepting what you want.

What to do…?

After coming to realize that your awareness and conscious decisions come first and your thoughts second, you are to focus on every bit of positivity you feel about yourself. You are to tell yourself why you deserve your desire.

Then, you are to start to finally be happy without your desire. When you have a problem being happy, you are advised to examine why instead of think about your desire.

Are you trying to tell yourself that you want something but ignoring your true nature and needs in reality? You need to face those first.

If you know that there is a part of you which is unhappy no matter what, ask yourself why. Ask yourself what it is you honestly want.

If you want something that you don’t want to want, admit that you want it any way. At least in part, admit to yourself that you might want other things than your desire, even only occasionally. After facing those thoughts, you will get to know yourself and you might just change your mind, realizing your desire is enough after all.

Never chase the idea of living a specific life but think about the kind of life that makes you truly happy. If you want to manifest something just for show or just to prove your power to yourself, it’s not worth it. To manifest, you must feel good and if you are simply trying to fulfil your needs, you are not feeling good.

It is time to focus on living your life instead.

What is it that makes you happy? Do it. Put yourself first, not your desire. Putting yourself first equals feeling good so if you must resolve your lack of happiness with yourself and admit to yourself why it is there, do it.

Be important enough to yourself to do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better, even when it takes profound self honesty. Face yourself and remember that no matter what you find, you are worthy of love and can start to give it.

Are You Lost in What it all Means?

It isn’t anyone’s job or duty to love you – you simply give them a reason to.

I am talking about two things – you and your relationship manifestations.

Would you love someone who claimed that you were obligated to love or respect them? Unlikely. This person would demand those things from you out of their own need.

Look back on every time you were the one to break up with someone and they disagreed with your decision. Were you obligated to stay with them? No. The sooner you start to view relationships as a choice and treat those relationships with respect (be in one or not but never for the wrong reasons), the sooner you will be focused on nothing but love, freedom and choices.

Let’s not forget that love and freedom work together.

If someone wants to leave you, let them leave; at the same time, if you want to get back together, work on your belief that being back together is a done deal. It is yours – if you truly love the person without needing to feed your own ego by getting back together, that is. I know this might not make much sense to some of you but it is one of the ways of using LoA to attract what you want – you are not resisting the current reality but believing in your ideal one.

See what I mean?

The only person obligated to love you is you. If you don’t, life gets harder so is it really worth it to not love yourself?

If you don’t love someone or even like them, is it really worth it to be with them? By loving someone, you have already given reason for them to love you. But who do you truly feel good about?

To love, you must know the difference between love and need. When it comes to relationships, there is only love but love cannot exist without self appreciation.