Tag: love

Attracting to Fulfill Momentary Need – Yes or No?

Posted on by Nina Grdic

I used to attract out of need…but not in the way it sounds.

I would have a need to be in a relationship, manifest one and then, after my need was fulfilled, I would move on to my next momentary need (which was usually travel).

During this phase, I was thinking short term. I hadn’t thought about the things I permanently loved. I was living for the experiences rather than love.

And do you know when I realized that living for experiences meant acting out of need in my case?

When I realized I was more focused on not being bored than enjoying my life. I was focused on not experiencing what I feared instead of experiencing what I loved.

For as long as this phase lasted, I was all about keeping my life interesting. And then, I realized I could make it interesting no matter what I loved to do, even if it wasn’t something I ever imagined loving or enjoying in the past. So, this phase brought on something great. It brought answers. It brought me to the core of my passions and made me see what it was all about.

Love for what we do is enough to make the thing in question interesting for ourselves. When we accept what we love and accept that it can bring us an interesting life, we achieve blissfully relaxed awareness. What if tomorrow, I decided to become a mother when I couldn’t see myself ever doing so in the past? I would enjoy everything it entailed. What if I decided to completely turn my lifestyle around and become someone I never thought I wanted to be? If it was something that truly made me happy, I would enjoy it very much.

It’s not what you do – it’s how much you value it. And if you do, and stand by your choice, you will enjoy it and you will make it interesting. Which is great because in order to attract it into your life, you must be able to see it being yours – and what we enjoy, we can see ourselves having.

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Dealing With Another Person’s Criticism of Your Appearance

Posted on by Nina Grdic

I recently changed my hair color. Many of my close ones liked it, loved it or commented of how striking it was…except one person.

One of the closest people to me told me my new hair color was “too dark” for me several times. Their opinion didn’t change my perception but I didn’t like hearing it either.

Then, I realized that it wasn’t the words I heard that lowered my vibration – every time this person commented on my hair, I was already on a moderately lower vibration than usual. I’d been tired or momentarily annoyed about something and right then, this person commented on my hair without me having asked.

So I got back on a high vibration. I pampered myself, chose positive thoughts, had nothing but positive expectations and nurtured my appearance. I started manifesting many things every day again and soon enough, I began receiving compliments for my hair from most individuals I would come across.

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I already loved my hair when looking in the mirror and then, everyone else told me how much they loved it, too. And the best thing was that I had partially raised my own vibration by looking in the mirror and loving what I saw, regardless of the disapproval from a person close to me.

I hadn’t questioned my love for my dark hair but this person commented on it being “too dark” in the moments my vibration was low due to other, unrelated momentary irritations.

It only matters what you truly like – not anybody else.

I wish I could tell you I had come to some new revelations as a result of this but I am simply going to continue to preach what I always do. It only matters that you always keep yourself on a high vibration for yourself, do what you like and expect to receive what you like/expect that everything you want is yours already. No one else’s opinion matters and it won’t make you happy unless you like yourself. You have to think about who you want to be and what will make you happy to have.

Criticism from others doesn’t come from them even when you feel like it does – it comes from you already feeling not so great about yourself. It comes from perceiving your own lack of value while being on a low vibration. When you engage in annoying thoughts about anything, you don’t believe the best of yourself and then, others don’t either.

When you’re annoyed about anything, you acknowledge that life isn’t what you want and your vibration continues to lower; however, when negative thoughts come and you pick yourself up by remembering how valuable you are and that what you want is yours already, you remember that you deserve and already possess everything you’ve set your heart on.

Confidence and self-love are even more important than you think, even when you perceive them as the most important aspects of life. There is no limit to their importance to our happiness.

You must put in the necessary work and discover what you truly desire. If someone’s words or behavior upsets you, this is a sign of being unhappy with yourself and until this part of you is resolved – not by receiving approval from others but by you – you will be preventing yourself from manifesting your dreams.

Switch to being a positive person from now on and watch everything you want come together soon.

How to Love Unconditionally When Your Specific Person is Difficult

Posted on by Nina Grdic

Unconditional love and acceptance, masked as not caring about what a person does or simply loving them for everything they are, allow us to manifest relationships rapidly. However, when forgiveness for the past or the present is involved, hurt feelings can get in the way of appreciating someone unconditionally.

It’s easy for us to accept the people we don’t care about or don’t perceive as important to our lives. On the other hand, those important to us are those we expect certain behaviors from and if our preferred behaviors are not immediately present, we can develop resentment or fear that our relationship is simply “not working out.”

The trick is to accept the person for who they are because then, we are able to imagine them treating us exactly the way we want to be treated. But if we don’t accept them to start, we won’t be able to imagine them being even better because we will continue to focus on their flaws and nothing else.

An dip into negative feelings can happen when we project our needs to the other person and expect them to fulfil those needs – in this case, we must ask ourselves if we are projecting onto them the needs we can only fulfil ourselves.

We don’t feel good when we are needy and this neediness often translates into wanting to receive more communication from the person. However, the way to achieve that is to imagine receiving this communication in the way that makes you feel good! You simply must give into good, positive feelings to make the Law of Attraction work – you want to imagine happily living your life with this person and being treated the way you want to be.

If you simply focus on them not doing what you want and not fulfilling your needs, you will lower your vibration and think permanently negatively of them as a result…and that will hurt your manifestation. Thinking poorly of someone translates into you seeing them not fulfilling your needs and not doing what you want, and your impression of the relationship growing in negativity.

Now is the time to ask yourself if you are asking your specific person to fulfil both sides of the equation – their own needs and your own? Because this doesn’t work. You have to do your part if you expect them to do theirs. Everything we give back, we receive in return.

When you love and accept a specific person unconditionally, they give the same to you.

On the other hand, when you are upset with a person’s behavior, they fail to give you the love and attention you desire and a relationship doesn’t manifest.

We must assume and visualize everything we wish to receive from a specific person while calling our negative thoughts false and paranoid. We simply must tell ourselves to think positive because only then can we assume the best of ourselves and everyone else.

We must only imagine the scenarios that make us the happiest.

Thought of the Day

Posted on by Nina Grdic

There was an interesting period in my life when I wanted to change but didn’t know who the new me wanted to be.

Equally, I didn’t know who I wanted the new me to be.

That’s what makes us lonely – not knowing who we are. And when we attach an idea of who we are to another person, a lover or a specific person we want to manifest a relationship with, we feel lonely without them.

We need them.

We falsely worry that our life would be empty without them.

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Thought of the Day

Posted on by Nina Grdic

I find the majority of love advice to be encouraging of one’s constant focus on the relationship.

However, I personally find the perfect formula to be a mix of focus on the relationship and giving it the space it also needs by engaging in your own beloved life interests – they make us happier and then, we bring that happiness into the relationship.

ARE YOU COMPETING WITH ANOTHER PERSON? HERE’S WHAT TO DO.

Posted on by Nina Grdic

Is there a person in your life or relationship that makes you feel inadequate or like you’re always coming second? And are your feelings continuously being made worse by your partner who seems to pay more attention to this person and their feelings than you in a variety of ways? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you probably feeling like there is a person in yours or your partner’s life you have to compete with.

This person could be your partner’s close friend, a nagging ex or even a family member – whoever they are, you feel queasy in their presence or from the very mention of their name. You might even feel that their feelings are more important to your partner than your own and you might be torn between wanting to fix the problem and even considering leaving the relationship.

Before you decide, there are several important points you need to consider.

First of all, it is important to know that no one is forcing you to compete with another person…ever. You choose whether or not to engage in competition, just like you choose everything else in your life.

Personally, competition is beneath me. If I feel like I am being forced to compete with another person, I simply walk away. If you don’t want to walk away immediately, having an open conversation with your partner or whoever it is that makes you compete is always a good idea and it might just solve the problem if you express your feelings openly, honestly and with confidence. Remember that you have the power to solve any problem in your life, either by compromising or leaving.

You have to start living your life from the awareness of being a person of value. Great value isn’t determined by what you have or have accomplished – it is determined by who you are. If you decide to connect with your confidence and stop accepting being treated poorly by another, you will naturally gravitate towards other confident people and positive situations.

You have to start having more fun in your own life, without the need for approval from anyone, your partner included. When you focus on making your own life fun, you will stop being upset by all those people whose behavior is simply not on your level. Making life fun for yourself will help you reconnect with your own confidence and maybe even lead you to new people and new experiences.

And instead of fearing the person you think you have to compete with, use some ingenious ways to get them on your team. If they have a particular skill set, ask them to do something for you. If they are the person who is constantly trying to make you compete, laugh off their attempts and refuse to let them upset you (or pretend that they don’t) as this particular approach will throw them off. Whatever you choose to do, do it with confidence.

Getting this person on your side might just be the inspired action that makes you feel good which will prompt LoA to bring even more positive change into your situation. When you do what makes you feel good instead of worrying about any particular situation, you begin to make better, lighter and more positive decisions which attract even more positive change as a result. This is how LoA works when you take a positive step in your current reality!

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Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

Posted on by Nina Grdic

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.

Showing Interest in Someone Makes Them Interested in You

Posted on by Nina Grdic

Men and women are often being told that showing interest in a prospective partner makes them look needy, desperate or pushy, and that those who don’t care are the ones who get the girl/guy instead.

Those giving and taking or worrying about such advice take an important ingredient out of it – the Law of Attraction which says that your beliefs and intentions translate into who you are, meaning that only what you see possible for yourself can manifest into your reality.

Only those open to relationships can actually find themselves in one. What we believe is possible for us is what we’re open to in our lives. If we believe that something else is impossible for us on the other hand, we are automatically closed off to receiving it.

If you find something impossible, how can you be open to it happening? Belief is what creates the openness to receiving.

Those who seem not to care about relationships are not indifferent to them – they only see relationships as something normal, natural and possible for themselves therefore they don’t need to worry about them.

If you’re open to relationships, you easily see yourselves in them. If you want to become open to them, you will affirm gratitude, look forward to them and believe in yourself while knowing that love is meant for you, sticking to this attitude until manifestation occurs.

If you’re closed off to people, saying there are no good ones out there, you are not open to believing that love is possible therefore love cannot appear in your life. You’re the one blocking its way in. You’re the one keeping it out.

If you are closed off to relationships, you obviously believe they’re not possible for you, finding yourself single as a result.

You must look forward to relationships and actually like people, especially the one you fancy, to manifest a loving relationship with them. Focusing on your specific person’s faults and a lack of faith or fear will close you off to receiving love, as fear and love cannot coexist.

I had gone through a phase in my life when I didn’t like anyone. I was completely closed off from appreciating the male gender. Whoever was interested, I immediately knew I wasn’t at first glance, effectively killing their interest as a result. I was being asked why I didn’t have a boyfriend and knew the answer all too well.

The truth is that I genuinely didn’t want to be with anyone that moment. However, I didn’t expect them to want to be with me either after sensing my lack of interest. I advised my friends to actually show interest in their own specific people – having realized that the best way to spark someone’s interest is to show your own interest in them, I was aware that happiness and openness are magnetic qualities that attract other people into our lives. This is what boosts your magnetism. Happiness and true confidence prompt openness to others which is very attractive to all while a closed off mindset attracts no one except maybe those who think they don’t deserve any better. People who advise being careful and closed off are effectively telling you how to kill your own attractiveness.

Now, being careful has nothing to do with boundaries; in fact, creating personal boundaries has everything to do with self-love, self-confidence and a personal sense of value. You know what you deserve and the more self-love you engage in, the more you believe you deserve. And, you do because you give as much as you know you deserve. You respect others and demand the same in return. This is a concept many tend to mistake for being closed off.

If you love yourself, you love and see the best in others. You also begin to immediately distinguish those worth your time from others that aren’t; you can tell apart a heart driven individual from one that isn’t so.

Now, the following is what makes the world of difference.

When you are a heart-driven individual yourself, you become attracted to those with their own sense of self-love, confidence, strong personal identity, focus and value. Yet if you live your life fearing disappointment, brooding on your past perceptions of failure or expecting the worst from your desired person and relationship, you will attract the behaviour or the people you will find it difficult to believe in and feel good about.

If you want to be with someone, you must believe in them whether you met them yesterday or share a painful past together.

Those you share a painful past with will treat you differently once you treat yourself differently.

Everyone will treat you the way you treat yourself and come to value you as much as you value yourself sooner or later.

Happy and confident interest in someone spells out quality. They will admire and be attracted to you as a result.

If you care about a specific person, enjoy talking to them. Don’t think about anything you are not “getting” from them. Visualize them happily being in your life and appreciate them even if you don’t vocalize it – that invisible energy is what attracts someone to you, whether or not you speak to them. This is LoA.

But if you do, speak to them with interest and positivity. Appreciate them and value yourself.