I WANT YOU TO KNOW ME. 

Not a day goes by that I don’t consider whether I reveal enough about myself on this blog.

“Do they know everything I want them to know about me?” I wonder. 

“Do they really know who I am?” 

But at the same time, I want to grow. I want to constantly grow. Can I do the same thing in a different way, and realize that it’s the attitude, not the action, that makes me different? That it’s the attitude which makes me grow?

One of the things that causes on-and-off growth spurts in my life is giving unconditionally. Sometimes I do it and other times, I don’t. However, I have grown in the parameters of unconditional giving in the following way – the moments in which I don’t want to give unconditionally quickly pass as I realize that my giving unconditionally doesn’t come from any type of guilt but from my choice to make myself and the other person happy. 

Let me explain. 

WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT…

My goal is to give unconditionally because when I do, I worry about nothing and feel like everything I give will get back to me tenfold. This is not to say that one should give to the point of it damaging them but it is to say that when one feels safe and like nothing can damage them, nothing truly can. When you are sure that things are developing the way you want them to, that you are safe and nothing can hurt you, nothing can; on the other hand, when you feel exposed to something horrible happening, you increase your chances of it happening. 

I love knowing that everything I give, I get back, and that I can give as much goodness as I want to another person because it is for my own benefit as much as theirs. Giving unconditionally means giving good feelings and never allowing something to give you negative feelings. It means knowing that what you give will get back to you with even more goodness than you can imagine. 

NG

There were times when undesirable things happened to all of us and worst of all, I sometimes invited them because I didn’t know any other way for something to change. Sometimes, I invited situations that were not ideal either way because I wanted something to be different but didn’t know what. Most of the time, undesirable situations happen when you don’t truly know what you want. 

Not knowing what we want makes is too easy to invite undesirable situations but this is not an ultimate problem – nothing is – as anything can be reversed with Law of Attraction. 

NG

I’ve come to this place in less than three weeks. I decided that I wanted to be this positive, relaxed person nothing can phase again. This is not the same thing as being insensitive, as you can feel anything you want while staying strong, but in the recent years I had been slightly more sensitive than usual.

At first, I liked being more sensitive. I liked exploring this new personality but fast, it became about feeling the irrelevant things too much (meaning just as much as the relevant ones). It became about vocalizing all emotions but I soon noticed that vocalizing overreactions or even reasonable emotions in an overreacting fashion made me feel awful. I thought that verbalizing all of my emotions would be liberating but more than anything, it drove me into being someone I didn’t like. It drove me into the occasional complaining which I didn’t enjoy doing. 

We can still vocalize all the emotions we want but with the purpose of feeling positive, not dumping negativity on other people. When our goal is to be positive instead of telling someone how much they’ve upset us for any other purpose, such as showing them how hurt we are or trying to hurt them back, we automatically distinguish the positive emotion from the negative.

NG

At rare times, I felt the need to show someone who bothered me what I thought of them which would soon invite even more negative feelings into my life. For the most part though, I didn’t care about those who bothered me and would only care about my own happiness. Then, I realized I never wanted to return any negative feelings but protect my own positive feelings instead. Being upset with someone is just not worth it because it’s a waste of my time. My time is what matters more than someone who upsets me. Your time matters more than the person who upsets you. 

This is the person I am, consistently. Maybe I wasn’t 100% of the time in the past, even if I was so most of it, but knowing who you want to be is wonderful. I always wanted to be more relaxed and even more positive than ever. I’ve always known I would come to this place.