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Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.

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Thought of the Day

We tend to become addicted to temporary highs, power or other people while the light, calm and unburdened feeling of happiness is the only thing we should be addicted to.

When You “Fail” to Manifest – A Guide to Starting Over!

What happens when you think your manifestation might arrive at a specific moment yet it doesn’t? You might have gotten signs or feedback that lead you to believe it was happening only to discover that it wasn’t what you hoped for, at least not just yet.Β 

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Thought of the Day

Do you know why I always say “Don’t trail the person you like on social media?”

Because if you do, you think they’re better than you are. You think they’re cooler, happier and have more power.

You assume they don’t feel the same and that you have no chance with them, all because they’re not messaging the exact moment you are indulging in your attachment.

You prioritize them when you should be prioritizing yourself.

Manifestation Epidemic – Wanting to “Do” When You Should Be Letting Go

Knowing your desire is yours but not seeing it in your current reality just yet can be frustrating. At this stage of manifestation, you might be wondering what you’re supposed to be doing or simply how to distract yourself when the thought of having your desire makes you so excited that it is all you can possibly think about.

At this stage, you might be tempted to start “doing” something to make your desire manifest faster but please refrain – in this exact moment, you should simply distract yourself by doing other things, especially enjoying the things you have time for now but won’t as much once you have manifested your desire.

Every change of circumstances changes a life. With every new chapter, we have a little less time for some aspects of the previous. There are things you could be enjoying right now that you won’t have as much time or energy for once your desire is manifested so focus on them instead. In turn, they will allow you to let go of your desire entirely only to see it appear in your current reality faster than you think!

This change of focus is more beneficial than you might currently realize.

Life Coaching, Professional and Personal

I love sharing personal examples in my coaching. I think that a good life coach should be an authentically positive person who is good at living life because someone like that will have stories, understand them in terms of the Law of Attraction and never suggest unrealistic visualization or other methods they can’t even connect with themselves.

Positivity is real. Negative thoughts exist but can be ignored – you don’t have to make an extraneous effort to remove them. Just knowing they are powerless over you if you decide as much is enough to ignore them (even if they rattle you at first). A good life coach will encourage you to do this because they know you can! You could wake up tomorrow and find that last bit of motivation you’ve been missing which should be the goal your coach has for you.

A personal story is powerful because it provides a lifelike analysis of LoA that makes the listener realize how they feel about things. Offer your own point of view and you will be doing someone else a favor, making them see how they would handle this, the feelings they would have and their opinion of the situation (which doesn’t belittle your choices in any way, even if they disagree with you). It is not you job to persuade others to follow – it is you choice to offer you perspective generously so that others could gain a second opinion and possibly find themselves in the process.

When your main focus in on yourself instead of other people’s thoughts, actions and life choices, you find yourself capable of generously sharing you examples without the need for approval or validation.

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Why Being Complete Within Ourselves Translates to Relationship Happiness

Every relationship conflict starts with an internal conflict of not knowing what one wants, doubting one’s self-worth or the fear of being alone.

No one has ever entered a relationship feeling amazing about themselves and ending up in a miserable situation out of nowhere – this just doesn’t happen. One brings one’s own issues into a relationship which can only be an expression of one’s inner world, not an uncontrollable external force that has suddenly shattered one’s confidence. We can only work with what we bring in, whether or not this specific awareness changes throughout the course of a relationship. Even if one changes during a relationship, it was one’s choice to change.

My coaching clients who are reading this blog could tell you that every relationship problem goes back to self-perception and that is why we work on their self-love and personal confidence while creating a positive perception of relationship simultaneously. Looking back on your relationship history, it would soon become apparent to you that you held onto the same inner feelings every time (or at least most of the time). Our relationships can’t change until we start to feel better about ourselves, with or without them.

One must become aware of the fact that no relationship can fix their insecurities, mood or awareness.

What we bring into a relationship, we express.

life quote positive thoughts

Manifestation Epidemic – Tension

I find that many struggle with staying relaxed about their desired manifestation. Staying relaxed leads to positive thinking and expectations yet worrying often takes over, leading to negative thoughts and fears.

Staying relaxed allows you to manifest miracles. Even with nothing in sight, you can attract miracles out of nowhere. Relaxation helps you believe and stay focused, and actually choose to focus on miracles instead of your fears. Staying relaxed is achieved by choosing to be happy and choosing to believe, no matter how impossible the concept of a belief being a choice sounds.

You might think your negative thoughts are blocking you but you can overcome them! Relaxation is achieved with decisiveness, belief, trust and letting go. It is also achieved by choosing to feel good at all times and deciding that what you want is yours which then allows you to trust and actually show that you want to be living your dream life by focusing on it instead of your fears. Choose to focus on what you want and imagine yourself living it – before you know it, you actually will.

What you focus on is what you keep manifesting. If you focus on your fears, you probably won’t manifest them most of the time but will manifest staying exactly where you are in life, not allowing yourself to move up the vibration ladder. If you focus on happiness, you choose to manifest your desires.Β