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Do You Tend to Do What Truly Makes You Happy or The Opposite?

It’s important to consciously choose not to engage in behaviors that are comfortable but ultimately make us feel like we’re standing still.

It’s important to consciously engage in the behaviors and habits that make us feel optimistic, fulfilled and abundant.

Sometimes, we tend do what we’re used to, almost oblivious as to how horrible it makes us feel. We watch the movies that make us depressed. We engage in social media stalking. We start arguments. And for what? To end up feeling like we just never, ever get what we want?

I don’t think that’s our goal.

Do you know why we do it though? Because we’re bored.

Unless we happily imagine having what we want and make an effort to choose good thoughts in other areas of our lives, we are going to end up bored and set our manifestations back just so we have something to do. Unless we make a conscious effort to engage in hobbies, music, movies and people we actually enjoy, not worrying that there’s such a thing as too much joy (there isn’t), we will keep going back to depressing but addictive behaviors.

Unless we care to act like the person we admire ourselves for being, we will continue to be whatever personality we can simply be bothered to inhabit.

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You know what else we might be worried about? Once manifested, our desires feeling exactly as they do now. Not better, not as great as we thought but just as they do now – empty and uncertain, meaning we’re stuck. Leaving us disappointed and feeling like we made a mistake. Feeling like we should have dropped it and never manifested in the first place.

Sometimes, we count on our desires to change our lives. And, they can – just not after we manifest them but before. Yes, that’s right – a manifestation can change our lives if we have decided to change them first by knowing it belongs to us. Life moves from believing to seeing, and happiness a manifestation brings is no different.

We need to engage in positive action towards ourselves; that way, we will turn our manifestations into what we want them to be. In every way.

Note – I used the word depressing for a lack of a better one. I don’t consider you depressing. Or myself.

Obviously.

But we shouldn’t ever engage in anything that makes us negative. If we end up feeling negative as a result of our own activities and thoughts, we will just be wasting our lives. And continue to be bored.

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Thought of the Day

There was an interesting period in my life when I wanted to change but didn’t know who the new me wanted to be.

Equally, I didn’t know who I wanted the new me to be.

That’s what makes us lonely – not knowing who we are. And when we attach an idea of who we are to another person, a lover or a specific person we want to manifest a relationship with, we feel lonely without them.

We need them.

We falsely worry that our life would be empty without them.

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Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.

How To Put Our Goal Preventing Issues Behind Us

We often forget that relationship focus and coaching exist beyond simply manifesting the relationship you want. Once it’s manifested, you must keep it, and you will do so by dealing with your deepest issues which every one of your relationship problems came from in the past. If you deal with those, Law of Attraction will draw even more love into your romance than you had before because resolving your issues results in feeling good about yourself, finally attracting your dreams as a result. 

That is how the process goes.

An existing couple is no different – they might get over a fight but the same issues will keep causing new ones in the future unless they are resolved. It’s not about the fight itself but about what causes it, and unless that issue causing a fight is addressed, it will keep coming back in different forms.

Some prefer to believe that the cause of a single fight was their partner’s reaction to our words, their words or specific actions; however, the cause of a fight lies in one’s (or both parties’) issues that have existed long before they even met their partner. When a fight happens, we don’t react to something we don’t care about. We actually react because our partner’s words or actions reminded us of an unpleasant feeling we’ve been holding onto for a while before we met them. We then project their words onto those feelings and end up upset, disregarding the notion they never meant to upset us and were just expressing themselves while we took it the way we did.

Fights can take over a relationship and we shouldn’t let them. Actually facing and dealing with those issues leading to them by causing us to be upset at someone’s words are what we should actually be facing. We have to be honest with ourselves about those issues if we want them to disappear and stop making us miserable, and we can make LoA work for us by doing so.

Issues can be dealt with in two ways – by thinking positive about ourselves and everything in our lives which leads us to easily resolving them by realizing we have outgrown them, or by facing them and realizing why they don’t matter anymore. Either way, it is by devaluing them because negative thoughts can cause misery if we choose to give them meaning.

We are much better off knowing our true self is stronger than any negative thoughts we may be holding on to. What hurts you doesn’t deserve you, and it certainly doesn’t deserve your attention.

Think well of yourself and think about those you love and admire. Focus on the people whose company you adore, and imagine spending time with them. All these things will shift your focus to personal happiness which leads to confidence in yourself and seeing yourself having what you want.

I have always had a very specific trigger to negative feelings in a relationship. I value feeling special and seeing myself as such, and when a boyfriend makes me feel anything but, my taste for the relationship starts to wane. In a relationship, I always give what I wish to receive by expressing how much my partner means to me yet my patience for being with someone who doesn’t express himself well enough has left me over the years. I want someone who dares to say what he means, has the courage to dive into love, be romantic and show me how much I mean to him.

In the past, I would summon enough love to see beyond hearing what I didn’t like but today, I want someone who sees and realizes that I want to be put first, because I put my  partner first. Those who have no interest in doing this can move along.

Sometimes, it is easier for us to say that we “feel like this is happening, that’s how it’s gonna play out” and let the Law of Attraction work – this particular mindset can be an easy way out when it comes to manifesting relationships, as we sometimes feel more natural thinking that the outcome is our of our control. However, even when we “can feel the relationship will go this way,” we are choosing this outcome for our lives!

Every “feeling” you think may have come from somewhere else was also your choice to acknowledge and embrace, and with that, give meaning to and decide that it was to be the outcome of your manifestation; now, since you know that, choose the outcome you want and decide that that one was meant to be! 

We choose the outcome of every situation, even when we don’t think we do. 

And at times, I focused on what I didn’t like to the extend that I had to decide if whether I wanted to stay or leave the relationship.

If the situation doesn’t suit you and you don’t want to fix it, walk away. Time is much better spent thinking about having what you want than disliking what you have. Some issues in a relationship we don’t care to fix.

If you want to fix your own issues on the other hand, preventing them from interfering with your future relationship with the right person, face them and realize that they’re probably outdated. Chances are you already spent a sufficient amount of time dealing with them and it is time to put them behind you – this very notion is often enough to stop thinking about a problem.

If you want closure, visualizing a positive scenario in which your issue has been resolved. Visualize injustice corrected and a chance to tell someone what you wish to tell them. Imagine this playing out in your perfect but positive scenario because visualizing it in a negative and upset way will not make it go away.

Then, you will automatically put it behind you for good. 

Thought of the Day – Attract Love by Being Yourself

I suggest you celebrate yourself and your life.

Wondering how?

You have to play the lead role in your own reality instead of putting the person you want to manifest a relationship with first. You can prioritize them but imagine the relationship and your love as you want it and as it makes you happy!

I mean, being able to love someone the way you want to and have them love you back…don’t you love the thought of that?

Don’t you want that?

How to Attract a Happy Lifestyle

It’s difficult to create a lifestyle if you don’t know what kind you want. And if you want a happy relationship, happiness should be your goal as well as lifestyle already.

Choosing happiness every day of our lives simply by choosing people and activities that perpetuate it as well as visualizations and the conviction of your dreams becoming real is mandatory if we want to remain in a good mood. Being in a good mood makes us feel fulfilled, and that is what makes us confident in having even more soon, especially our desires coming true. That is how happiness works.

It can be hard to stay positive about a relationship at times. Relationships bring out our deepest vulnerabilities but that is exactly why they are beautiful. Being touched by love and another person’s heart opens your own. It opens the real you up to living your happiest life.

When You “Fail” to Manifest – A Guide to Starting Over!

What happens when you think your manifestation might arrive at a specific moment yet it doesn’t? You might have gotten signs or feedback that lead you to believe it was happening only to discover that it wasn’t what you hoped for, at least not just yet. 

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Not Giving Up on Them – What Does it Mean?

Should I start referring to myself as a “positivity coach?” “Life and positivity coach?” I don’t know yet but I’ve been playing around with that term today.

A client of mine recently introduced me to the following quote:

“A person who truly loves you will never stop believing in you and will never let you go, no matter how hard the situation is.” (Courtesy of powerofpositivity.com) My client then asked me to elaborate on this quote and gave me plenty of ideas through which to explain it.

This quote refers to several things and several stages of a relationship (or a relationship manifestation). To me, it means the following.

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Don’t Lose It Before You Attract It!

Do you fear losing what you have or worse, losing your desired manifestation before you attract it?

Fear of loss (or, fear of failure, if you prefer) usually happens after experiencing an unexpected loss in life – loss of a job, a relationship or one’s happiness or confidence at the least expected moment. The moment one finds oneself blindsided by something they thought would never happen to them, usually a break-up or something of similar magnitude – big enough to cause confidence issues but not so big that the damage is irreversible – fear of loss is created, causing insecurity and self-doubt. And when it comes to manifesting one’s desires, fear of loss works even before one manifests their desire, keeping it at arm’s length.

One’s desired manifestation is closer than they think but the fear of loss keeps it from manifesting in the first place.

I don’t want to say that you can’t lose what you never had in the first place because you can have anything you want if you believe it; however, I will say that the desire to have specific things in life always comes with fear if it stems from need.