Step One in Reviving the Interest in Your Relationship…and Yourself

When manifesting, this specific issue can be confusing but it’s more important than ever to stay strong. When you’re feeling this way, the answer seems counterintuitive yet it helps.

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Dealing With Another Person’s Criticism of Your Appearance

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I recently changed my hair color. Many of my close ones liked it, loved it or commented of how striking it was…except one person.

One of the closest people to me told me my new hair color was “too dark” for me several times. Their opinion didn’t change my perception but I didn’t like hearing it either.

Then, I realized that it wasn’t the words I heard that lowered my vibration – every time this person commented on my hair, I was already on a moderately lower vibration than usual. I’d been tired or momentarily annoyed about something and right then, this person commented on my hair without me having asked.

So I got back on a high vibration. I pampered myself, chose positive thoughts, had nothing but positive expectations and nurtured my appearance. I started manifesting many things every day again and soon enough, I began receiving compliments for my hair from most individuals I would come across.

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I already loved my hair when looking in the mirror and then, everyone else told me how much they loved it, too. And the best thing was that I had partially raised my own vibration by looking in the mirror and loving what I saw, regardless of the disapproval from a person close to me.

I hadn’t questioned my love for my dark hair but this person commented on it being “too dark” in the moments my vibration was low due to other, unrelated momentary irritations.

It only matters what you truly like – not anybody else.

I wish I could tell you I had come to some new revelations as a result of this but I am simply going to continue to preach what I always do. It only matters that you always keep yourself on a high vibration for yourself, do what you like and expect to receive what you like/expect that everything you want is yours already. No one else’s opinion matters and it won’t make you happy unless you like yourself. You have to think about who you want to be and what will make you happy to have.

Criticism from others doesn’t come from them even when you feel like it does – it comes from you already feeling not so great about yourself. It comes from perceiving your own lack of value while being on a low vibration. When you engage in annoying thoughts about anything, you don’t believe the best of yourself and then, others don’t either.

When you’re annoyed about anything, you acknowledge that life isn’t what you want and your vibration continues to lower; however, when negative thoughts come and you pick yourself up by remembering how valuable you are and that what you want is yours already, you remember that you deserve and already possess everything you’ve set your heart on.

Confidence and self-love are even more important than you think, even when you perceive them as the most important aspects of life. There is no limit to their importance to our happiness.

You must put in the necessary work and discover what you truly desire. If someone’s words or behavior upsets you, this is a sign of being unhappy with yourself and until this part of you is resolved – not by receiving approval from others but by you – you will be preventing yourself from manifesting your dreams.

Switch to being a positive person from now on and watch everything you want come together soon.

Showing Interest in Someone Makes Them Interested in You

Men and women are often being told that showing interest in a prospective partner makes them look needy, desperate or pushy, and that those who don’t care are the ones who get the girl/guy instead.

Those giving and taking or worrying about such advice take an important ingredient out of it – the Law of Attraction which says that your beliefs and intentions translate into who you are, meaning that only what you see possible for yourself can manifest into your reality.

Only those open to relationships can actually find themselves in one. What we believe is possible for us is what we’re open to in our lives. If we believe that something else is impossible for us on the other hand, we are automatically closed off to receiving it.

If you find something impossible, how can you be open to it happening? Belief is what creates the openness to receiving.

Those who seem not to care about relationships are not indifferent to them – they only see relationships as something normal, natural and possible for themselves therefore they don’t need to worry about them.

If you’re open to relationships, you easily see yourselves in them. If you want to become open to them, you will affirm gratitude, look forward to them and believe in yourself while knowing that love is meant for you, sticking to this attitude until manifestation occurs.

If you’re closed off to people, saying there are no good ones out there, you are not open to believing that love is possible therefore love cannot appear in your life. You’re the one blocking its way in. You’re the one keeping it out.

If you are closed off to relationships, you obviously believe they’re not possible for you, finding yourself single as a result.

You must look forward to relationships and actually like people, especially the one you fancy, to manifest a loving relationship with them. Focusing on your specific person’s faults and a lack of faith or fear will close you off to receiving love, as fear and love cannot coexist.

I had gone through a phase in my life when I didn’t like anyone. I was completely closed off from appreciating the male gender. Whoever was interested, I immediately knew I wasn’t at first glance, effectively killing their interest as a result. I was being asked why I didn’t have a boyfriend and knew the answer all too well.

The truth is that I genuinely didn’t want to be with anyone that moment. However, I didn’t expect them to want to be with me either after sensing my lack of interest. I advised my friends to actually show interest in their own specific people – having realized that the best way to spark someone’s interest is to show your own interest in them, I was aware that happiness and openness are magnetic qualities that attract other people into our lives. This is what boosts your magnetism. Happiness and true confidence prompt openness to others which is very attractive to all while a closed off mindset attracts no one except maybe those who think they don’t deserve any better. People who advise being careful and closed off are effectively telling you how to kill your own attractiveness.

Now, being careful has nothing to do with boundaries; in fact, creating personal boundaries has everything to do with self-love, self-confidence and a personal sense of value. You know what you deserve and the more self-love you engage in, the more you believe you deserve. And, you do because you give as much as you know you deserve. You respect others and demand the same in return. This is a concept many tend to mistake for being closed off.

If you love yourself, you love and see the best in others. You also begin to immediately distinguish those worth your time from others that aren’t; you can tell apart a heart driven individual from one that isn’t so.

Now, the following is what makes the world of difference.

When you are a heart-driven individual yourself, you become attracted to those with their own sense of self-love, confidence, strong personal identity, focus and value. Yet if you live your life fearing disappointment, brooding on your past perceptions of failure or expecting the worst from your desired person and relationship, you will attract the behaviour or the people you will find it difficult to believe in and feel good about.

If you want to be with someone, you must believe in them whether you met them yesterday or share a painful past together.

Those you share a painful past with will treat you differently once you treat yourself differently.

Everyone will treat you the way you treat yourself and come to value you as much as you value yourself sooner or later.

Happy and confident interest in someone spells out quality. They will admire and be attracted to you as a result.

If you care about a specific person, enjoy talking to them. Don’t think about anything you are not “getting” from them. Visualize them happily being in your life and appreciate them even if you don’t vocalize it – that invisible energy is what attracts someone to you, whether or not you speak to them. This is LoA.

But if you do, speak to them with interest and positivity. Appreciate them and value yourself.

How to Use the Law of Attraction to Stop Growing Older

There is an idea I continuously struggle with – why does ageing, the most normal concept in the world, absolutely must mean “growing older” by default? And I wouldn’t have a problem with this if, according to society, it didn’t automatically mean having to drop everything they loved about themselves or life because beauty, self love and joy are usually only associated with those aged twenty five or less (or older but rich and famous, worst case).

But should you really listen to society? Law of Attraction says that the way you see yourself is the way others will see you, and that you will attract people who agree with your positive awareness into your life and see you exactly as you see yourself.

You don’t have to see yourself as old just because you’re older than twenty five. You don’t have to perceive yourself as “older” with every passing year. You are simply moving forward chronologically but do not force yourself to become “older” as a result, especially not by engaging in negative thoughts about yourself due to age.

You only grow older if you feel older but the simple concept of ageing does not mean you have to lose your youthful spirit.

And I’m not going to lie to you, I have a hard time standing people who use their age as an excuse to stop trying and start feeling entitled in life. They are not attractive. They are undervaluing and underselling themselves every day for no good reason, yet they deserve as much love and happiness as any other (young) person or any person they admire and look up to.

Why is “young” only limited to your mean twenties and below? I’m thirty three which is still very young. Any age is too young for something. Two is too young to start school. Thirteen is too young to call yourself an adult, start working full time and live on your own. Sixty is too young to die. With all these examples, why can’t most individuals drop the concept of connecting youth or a youthful spirit to age?

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Me, age 1.

Considering yourself “too old” for what you want (or anything, for that matter) can potentially hurt your manifestation abilities. If you observe it from society’s regular point of view, feeling too old for something can ruin your mood and prompt you to consider yourself unworthy instead of deserving of making your dreams come true.

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With a seeing eye dog, age 25.

An easy way to beat your fear is to say the following.

The older I get, the better I look. 

You will notice we used the phrase “older” here even though we said we wouldn’t give it importance – this is because using a fearful word in a positive context takes away its power to make you feel negative. We have taken the word “older” and turned it into something good. The choice of words when using affirmations is important but not in the way you think I’m about to define.

I live by this affirmation and use it once a day…and I would never want to go back to looking the way I did at twenty five, given the choice. It’s not that it wasn’t good but what I have now is even better. Don’t you want to love yourself more with each passing year and not less?

When using affirmations, use the words that make you feel good! If you do this, you will feel good saying and thinking about those affirmations, and this positive energy will produce the very thing that you desire.

What would your perfectly worded version of this affirmation be?

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Me through several years and hairdos – ages 1, 27 and 29.

Allowing ourselves to find ourselves “too old” for the things we would truly love to have is a mistake. Seriously, what’s good about it? What would be the point? I have come to realize that a person’s sense of identity might be challenged or altered with age but there is a difference between being mature and feeling “old.” I can keep my youthful spirit while remaining a mature person with good values. I can remain positive while knowing that I should never stop trying new things in life, as they open my mind and allow me to keep getting to know myself. It doesn’t matter if I try something once or if it turns into my new favorite pastime – either way, it raises my vibration, making me realize who I am all over again while lightening my awareness and overall mood.

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In Brussels, age 26.

You can’t stop feeling and therefore dressing attractive(ly) just because your chronological age has increased. Ageing does not excuse you to stop being, feeling and dressing attractive because this type of awareness is reserved for young people. It isn’t. There is age-appropriate sexy but dropping it altogether is another big mistake you want to avoid. You can’t stop feeling like a woman, a man, a beautiful or a sexually viable person simply because you are now forty, fifty or sixty instead of twenty three. This can’t happen because you will not be happy if you set aside highlighting (and enjoying) your physical beauty. If you did, you would damage your confidence and end up exactly where you don’t want to be – depending on the approval of others because you don’t love yourself enough. 

Don’t do this. It goes against the very principle of self-love, a love that is necessary to make Law of Attraction work.

I mean, we all know at least one example of this. There is a wonderful person in every single on of our lives that is smart, beautiful and worthy but all they do is talk about the level of attractiveness they’re lacking. They  never talk about how good they feel about the way they look but merely refer to themselves as “old” or “unappealing.” They are perpetually focused on everything that’s wrong with their looks.

I know someone who used to be like this and changed. They used to constantly complain about how they “don’t need to bother dressing up.” They used to call others desirable but spoke of themselves as if they were the opposite. They were convinced others didn’t like them due to reasons that were entirely self-imposed. One day, they realized that those who are attractive view themselves as such first. They realized that age does not matter when it comes to beauty. Since, they have been enjoying their beauty, happily spent time pampering themselves and as they had no one but themselves to blame for their formerly negative attitude, they suddenly turned it entirely positive.

I’ve also helped others change from this (and this isn’t me bragging – I’m a life coach). I have seen the most beautiful, wonderful, amazing, the luckiest people look down on themselves because they had been focusing on the one thing they felt was missing from their life instead of focusing on what they had and let the Law of Attraction give them even more.

These are also the individuals who don’t understand the concept of “age appropriate.” This term doesn’t exist to make you feel older – it exists to help you look younger! If you wear the clothes appropriate for your figure and age, you will look younger, not older! Just because age-appropriate looks exist does not mean you’re being called “old.” These things exist to enhance your appearance in order to make you look younger!

If I were to wear a style appropriate for a ten year old at thirty three, I would definitely look even older; if I wore clothing appropriate to my age, I would actually look younger. This is an important factor many don’t understand but if you think about it, you’ll see what I mean. You can prolong the concept of age appropriate by manifesting younger looks but there is no shame in looking thirty when you’re forty five instead of absolutely having to look twenty because you think it’s what society respects. This is also why many stick to simplicity or different forms of a “classic” style – trends leave but the universally loved style works for and is adored by all ages. Classic is timeless and ageless. Some things work despite things like age and time, and this is shared by style lovers of any age.

We decide who we are and how attractive we are, and not society – they can only go by what we set for ourselves. Decide you are attractive and looking much younger, and you will attract others seeing you the same way. When it comes to you, your awareness and your life, you lead while others follow.

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Me in April, already 33.

I mean, does ageing really have to change you?

Self-Love Equals Smooth Manifestation

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For days, I’ve been thinking about the single most important part of effortless manifestation. Most of us wanted to know the answer to successfully avoiding negative thoughts and stopping ourselves from engaging in doubt yet we didn’t find it until we started to feel unconditionally good about ourselves.

They don’t tell us that love is the key to LoA for nothing. Some might wonder why love is such a boost and why self-love in particular means so much in this process but when you think about it, you end up realizing that self-love leads to positivity and positivity leads to relaxation, trust and letting go. A relaxed mind boosted by loving emotions leads to attracting one’s desired life without effort.

You might wonder why exactly the core of your personality makes such a difference. Continue reading

Manifestation Epidemic – How Can I Ignore the Current Reality?

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Fully ignoring your current reality and just thinking about your desired one is a technique in itself, if you ask me. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know that I fully advocate ignoring the current reality (or if you seem to be unable to, turning every negative in it into a positive, i.e. “It’s good that I’m single now because I get to do all the things I enjoy but will have less time for once in a relationship” etc.) and if you can just ignore everything in front of you, your visualizations of the ideal will trickle down to your current reality in order to turn it into your ideal one.

Many have wondered how exactly to ignore their current realities, and the answer is…

Ignoring the current reality comes easy when one makes a habit of practicing self-love. Being unable to ignore the current reality happens when that reality strongly bothers you but self-love leads to “fixing” yourself and your current reality by extension.

See how that goes?

If you ever wondered why self-love is key, you just got the answers you were looking for.

Crazy as it sounds, the easiest way to ignore the current reality is to fill it with fun activities. That way, you just happily live and have fun while imagining your ideal reality but not missing it. You don’t even think about it – you just are.

Another way is to love your ideal reality so much that it even transforms your current reality. Even if you never did it, it can be done. I’ve done it. When you love your ideal reality that much, you begin to act as if you’re living it in your current. You start to transfer moods, mindsets and external factors. You begin to look and dress the part.

Now that you know how it works, use these exercises to create your new life.

Manifestation Epidemic – Trying to Manifest while Attempting to Fix the Current Reality

If the Law of Attraction confuses you at times, you probably find yourself bouncing from the thoughts of living your desire to the thoughts of not having it in your current reality just yet. This is one of the most common manifestation and LoA teaching problems; it is where attachment and the refusal to let go rule one’s awareness.

In short,

If you can’t take the focus off your current reality, your desired one isn’t making you happy enough…yet. You must make the visualizations and feelings of having your desire more vivid, creative and reflecting what you want instead of what you don’t or what you fear having to settle for.

If you pay equal attention to your positive and negative thoughts, you are stuck between the realities, so to speak. However, focusing on your desired reality is always the answer. The more you nurture positive feelings about your desired reality, the more your current one will fade.

Can you imagine what your life would look like if your entire visualization focus rested on having and living your desire already? It would be everything you see and it would lead to manifestation. You wouldn’t think twice about still living your current reality and you would start to enjoy it while knowing that your desired reality is coming.

When manifesting anything you can imagine, I consider it a done deal. All my happiness goes into the thoughts of living my desire which takes the focus off my current reality, allowing me to live it and stop paying attention to the insignificant details in it. As I enjoy these visualizations, my awareness soaks up the feeling of having what I want. With my desire in my life, I imagine it to be inspiring, positively challenging and full of enjoyment.

When you make your desired reality that happy, the current becomes something you don’t even think about. You don’t mind it and might start to enjoy it as a result. In addition, this approach is pure self love due to the giving of love to yourself and having your desire.

If you can’t take the focus off your current reality, you will as soon as you make your desired one more engaging in your mind. Then, you will also let go to manifest.

At the same time, impatience and a lack of self love prevent many from entirely letting go of the current reality and putting their faith into the desired; instead, many look for short-term solutions and “steps” to manifest their desire slowly, wanting to feel happy now without having to take the time to locate their limiting beliefs and personal manifesting blocks.

Some refuse to let go due to the fear of actually manifesting their desire, feeling undeserving of that manifestation and fearing its eventual loss instead of praising its gain and presence. If this is you, repeating the affirmation “I am good enough” whenever you feel the need is going to work for you.