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Relationships – Are You Afraid of Asking for What You Want?

A (life coaching) client on mine recently struggled with asking for what they wanted out of their relationship which led them to panic. Struggling to communicate their needs on a daily basis, this beautiful, heart-driven individual felt confused about their own readiness to show their true self to their partner.

They knew what they wanted to achieve but were unsure of their ability to communicate it now. The answer turned out to be simple – before they communicated, this person needed to overcome their own fear of rejection that stemmed from the feeling of constant struggle in life, none of which had come from their partner but instead, their own awareness and life history.

Many think they will start a relationship with a person who is going to heal them. This is a wonderful idea but it is not exactly how energy works. If you fail to set boundaries in your relationship, how is your partner supposed to know what’s acceptable and what’s not? If you agree to something you don’t want, how are they supposed to know that you actually didn’t mean it?

Relationship struggles deepen when we refuse to acknowledge that they originate within, not without. Depending on one’s partner for fixing what’s broken is difficult, especially when one doesn’t participate in it themselves but wishes to delegate the task; it is also important to acknowledge that not everyone wants to pass on the duty but wishes for the other person to solve the problem simply because they themselves don’t know how to. In those cases, one must remember that by practising self-love and nurturing self-worth, they will figure out the way to solve their communication issues – eventually, they will start to believe their words and needs matter!

But what about those who refuse to practice self-love?

They will most likely continue to make their lives and relationships difficult when in reality, they deserve better.

It is very tempting to make ourselves believe that another person “made me feel like I’m not good enough” or “betrayed me.” If you feel that someone has betrayed you, is it possible you are actually betraying your own sense of value on a daily basis?

My client wasn’t doing this – they wanted to speak up but didn’t know how. However, this is a question we could all benefit from asking ourselves – do we sometimes blame others without considering whether or not we had ever communicated our needs clearly to them?

Do we expect others to read our minds when we haven’t asked for what we need?

Are we expecting others to give to us more than we give to them or ourselves?

Do we give what we wish to receive?

Another person, your partner included, can merely mirror what you feel about yourself on a daily basis. They cannot put thoughts in your mind that you don’t accept yourself.

Another person can only heal you as much as you are willing to heal yourself. Relationship are about teamwork but the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You can make another person just as important but only when you’re ready to live with yourself instead of wanting to run away from who you are – if you want to run, another person can’t rescue you before you rescue yourself.

When You “Fail” to Manifest – A Guide to Starting Over!

What happens when you think your manifestation might arrive at a specific moment yet it doesn’t? You might have gotten signs or feedback that lead you to believe it was happening only to discover that it wasn’t what you hoped for, at least not just yet. 

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You Must Focus on Your Ultimate Goal…Now!

Have you ever, for any reason, forgotten this very simple idea?

You must not obsess about the “how” or any other details of your manifestation but only keep your eye on your ultimate goal!

Thought of the Day

We are only afraid to let go of what we are afraid to receive.

Maybe we feel inadequate or undeserving.

Maybe we fear loss even before experiencing the gain.

Or maybe we are afraid of facing our own feelings.

Either way, if you fear it, you will learn from it. Let it happen – it can only result in growth.

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Don’t Lose It Before You Attract It!

Do you fear losing what you have or worse, losing your desired manifestation before you attract it?

Fear of loss (or, fear of failure, if you prefer) usually happens after experiencing an unexpected loss in life – loss of a job, a relationship or one’s happiness or confidence at the least expected moment. The moment one finds oneself blindsided by something they thought would never happen to them, usually a break-up or something of similar magnitude – big enough to cause confidence issues but not so big that the damage is irreversible – fear of loss is created, causing insecurity and self-doubt. And when it comes to manifesting one’s desires, fear of loss works even before one manifests their desire, keeping it at arm’s length.

One’s desired manifestation is closer than they think but the fear of loss keeps it from manifesting in the first place.

I don’t want to say that you can’t lose what you never had in the first place because you can have anything you want if you believe it; however, I will say that the desire to have specific things in life always comes with fear if it stems from need.

Thought of the Day

When I imagine myself living the life I want, not only do I imagine what I would love to happen but know that it is.

Not that it will – that it is. It already is.

Many steer clear from imagining their desired realities because it makes them too emotionally stirred up. They are afraid to feel. However, you shouldn’t be.

Remember a time when you got what you wanted in life – you felt it was yours and you just knew. Even when it made you nervous, you knew.

Don’t be afraid to feel – feelings produce rapid manifestations.